Misericordia

A friend of mine lost a family member just recently.  Her mother had just passed a way a few weeks ago.  Today I attended the funeral.  It is always interesting to listen to a Mass in another language, to see the differences of culture and temperaments.  There is something somber and grounding about seeing a funeral from that perspective.  I am far from fluent but I catch some words and phrases here and there.  I kept hearing that word today, misericordia, mercy.  Then my heart broke as I watched this man's daughter break down at the casket.   I had no problem understanding her.  She pokes in long, drawn out words... slow enough for my feeble mind to grasp them... I think even if you didn't know any Spanish the torment in her voice would have told you plainly that she was calling out to God and asking why.

I began to cry as I pulled out my rosary and began to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet for a man I had never met.  They probably thought the gringo quite silly in the back, with tears running down his face.  As I began to read the readings for tomorrow's daily Mass, it struck me that this is what it means to be like Jesus. At the sight of the crowds, his heart was moved with pity for them because they were troubled and abandoned, like sheep without a shepherd.  How lost one must feel to lose a parent.   I have both of mine still so I cannot understand even if I empathize.   A loved one dying is one of the hardest things to bear.

On days like this I think back to my great grandmother Viola's funeral.  I was very young then.  I remember sobbing and being wracked with sadness. I did not know how to process the fact that I could no longer stop by and sit on her porch listening to her stories.   It truly is a moment when you feel lost.  How much more so a parent?  A brother?  A sister?   An article caught my eye this morning about refugees from Syria again.   Christian refugees had just been turned away from California.  These men and women have left everything to try to find safety.. to flee from persecution and death.  Some have even been killed as people have been thrown overboard from boats to drown on the journey, because of one radical ideology or another.  Children have been found dead on the seashore.  Yet, I see people who claim to be children of God declaring that we must send them "back where they came from." 

How are we not moved with pity?  How do our hearts not go out to them?  Did we learn nothing from our past?   We are humanity.  They are part of us.  There are bad people in every nation, every tongue, every skin color.  There are good people in every nation, every tongue, every skin color.  Who are we to claim to be Christian and yet begin to deny love?  Jesus demands of his Apostles today, "Without cost you have received; without cost you are to give.”  Every single item you own, every dollar in your bank account, every breath you have... was given to you freely.   God has blessed us so abundantly in this country.  Yet, we charge people to share in our blessings.  "You need to be a citizen."  "You need to speak English!"   "You need to drink beer and eat meat!"  How dare we put a quantifier on who we love when God has chosen to love us without prejudice? 

Our goal as Catholics is to allow Christ to transform us through the Sacraments into images of himself.  To restore us to the communion we had with God in the garden of Eden.  That means we are to be more like God and less like the world.  The old testament reading for tomorrow says:

He will be gracious to you when you cry out,
as soon as he hears he will answer you.
The Lord will give you the  bread you need
and the water for which you thirst.

Is that the kind of person you are?  Is that the kind of nation you are helping form?  Every day someone out there cries out to you to be fed.  Whether it be a refugee from another country, a co-worker, or a member of your own family.   Saint Agustine said,  "You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you."     Are you helping people find rest?  Both in this life and the next?  Are you helping them find shelter from the storms of life, both physical and spiritual?  Are you reaching out to everyone and not just those who are close to home?  Christmas is coming soon.  Christ's Mass.  Without either of those, it's just another party.   As we approach Christ's Mass through Advent ask yourself, are you helping prepare the world for the coming of the Savior?  Or are you only trying to prepare yourself? 

His servant and yours,
Brian

Can't See the Forest for the Trees

Do you remember those posters that became popular in the early 90s?  What appeared to be a random mess of colored dots would become something amazing and three dimensional if you learned how to look at it.  If you tried too hard you would have trouble seeing it.  Only when you relaxed and concentrated on the center of the image would it come into focus.  Some of those were truly breath taking.  I remember one of three dolphins breaking the surf of the ocean.  It was so intricate that often when I finally got my eyes to relax enough to see the image, I'd try to focus on one spot or another to see the detail and my eyes would lose the image all together. 

When I read tomorrow's Gospel I am reminded of those images.  Funny how the human mind works eh?  Two blind men were crying out to Jesus, "Son of David, have pity on us!"   They followed him into the house were he was staying and asked again.  Jesus, seeing their faith, heals them.  Then he says this interesting phrase, "See that no one knows about this."  It didn't do any good, they ran off and spread the word.  Why would Jesus want this?  I think it's like those images up there.  These men were blind, but now they see.  For a moment they were face to face with God himself.  They experienced the healing power of Christ through faith.  Yet, they lost focus.  What had finally became clear, so clear that they gained their earthly sight back, quickly went blurry when they moved their gaze from the center of the image... Christ.

Jesus did not come to be a Rock Star.  He came to be the suffering servant.  Too many came to him only for the miracles.  They ran out to see him heal, to see him feed the hungry, they followed him not for who he was, but for the glittery miracles.  He wanted to give them something more.  He wanted to give them eternal life.  He wanted to fix their souls.  To restore them to perfect Communion with the Father. He offered salvation.  He offered agape love. 

There is this scene in the movie The Robe that always touches me.  Miriam(Betta St. John) has been healed by Christ.  She is talking to this roman (Richard Burton).  She talks about how bitter she used to be, how her spirit was broken, her hopes her dreams were dark.  She couldn't see.  Then he finds out that she can't even walk.  Jesus had fixed what she needed, not what she wanted.  How powerful is that? 

I think we too live in spiritual blindness sometimes.  I think we want the Fourth of July to happen around us.  We want to see miracles and explosions.   We see Christ so clearly at some points, but then we take our eyes off the center of the photo to try and focus on the details on the outside edge.  We focus so much on how faith feels, that we take our eyes off Christ.  Like Peter we are walking on water.. but then we look at the waves instead of His face.  

Miracles are good.  I'm very Pentecostal in my attitude, 100% Catholic in my faith.  I like to see people lift their hands in prayer.  I am filled with joy for those who are so overwhelmed by God's love that they are slain in the spirit.   I have even been known to shout Amen or Praise the Lord during a stirring talk or speech.  All of these can be good things, if they keep the focus on Christ.  If they pull us away, if they put the focus on other people, or on the gifts themselves.. we lose the image, it all becomes blurry again. 

Jesus understood this.  He didn't want the focus to be on his Miracles, but on the Kingdom of God.  He didn't want the attention to be on what he could do, but on who He was.  He didn't want to distract people with glitz, glamour and fame... rather he wanted them to have peace, joy, and hope. He wanted the lowly to find joy in the Lord and the poor to rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.  Are you keeping your eyes on Jesus?  Or are you more focused on things you want from Him?  Are your eyes open to the right things?  Or is the image still fuzzy and you need to readjust to see it better?

As Advent continues let us take this time to make sure we are looking at the right part of the image.  Let us open ourselves to the Holy Spirit to allow God to guide us.   Let's spend more time with the Scriptures, with the Sacraments, and with our devotions.  Focusing our lives to orient our Spiritual Vision towards God himself.  Then, and only then, will things begin to become clear.  How long you ask?  How long will it take for me to get a clear vision of God?  Today we were having a discussion about suffering.  Someone mentioned that suffering makes us grow.  Another quipped, "How long Lord?  How long must I grow?"  I responded, "Until you reach heaven."   Yes, that's how long it takes to clear your vision.  For now we see through a veil, a reflection.. then we shall see face to face.  Keep focusing.  Keep growing.  Let Christ be reborn in your heart with every thought, every breath.. until you reach Heaven. 

A Lock is Only For Honest Men

Just this morning I locked myself out of my house this morning.  It's one of those moments when you feel so very silly and embarrassed.  It happens to all of us.  When it happens to us though, it seems so much more shameful.  I marched around the house looking for an open window.  Would you believe my kids actually listened to me when I told them to keep their windows locked?  You would think that I would be happy with that, and when I look back on it I was.. but this time it was frustrating.  I then went to the back garage door which we also hardly ever lock, but because of someone recently goofing around in our garage, we've started locking that too.  Guess what?   It was locked. 

I was walking back to my car when I remembered the garage door opener.  I pushed the button in the car and the door creaked it's way upward. Heaving a sigh of relief I walked in, pushing the button behind me to lower the door back down.  After it closed I went to open the door into the kitchen.  Guess what?  Yes, you guessed it.  It was locked.  It was locked with a slide bolt at the top.  I knew that it was kind of lose and thought, if I jar it nice and hard... it'll shake out of place.  So I turned the handle and gave it a nice, hefty, frustrated shoulder bump.   The door flew open inside.  I looked up and the brass bolt that was supposed to hold it shut had bent at a ninety degree angle.   Beware the frustrated shoulder of a three hundred pound man.

What does that story have to do with tomorrow's reading?  In the Gospel we see the parable of the men who built their houses, one on sand and the other on rock.  Both homes we wearied by a storm.  The one built on a rock solid foundation stood the test of the weather.  The one built on sand crumbled and fell.  Like the foundation, a good lock is supposed to hold the door shut.  One shouldn't be able to blow the door open with a shoulder, especially with as little effort as I put into it.  It should take a lot of effort to get into the house, that's what safety is all about. We want to feel safe.  We want the bad elements to stay outside and the good in.  Those things that go bump in the night.. we want to go bump far away from us.

I think sometimes our hearts and our minds are much like that.  There are so many bad influences out there.  Television is filled with so much angst, pornography, slack morals, and sensual lures that it can be almost too dangerous to watch.  Music is filled with messages that most people gloss over as the norm.  All of these things are trying to break in, trying to get into our hearts.  They want us to be influenced to enjoy them, to join in.  Our relationship with Christ is much like the lock on the door.  The stronger our relationship, the harder it is for these things to get inside.  If we have a weak lock, we are like the house with a weak foundation.   It doesn't take much effort to get inside, we then spend our time looking and hearing these things until they come right in.   They don't fight for it, they just nudge a little harder and it flies open, exposing the inside to all who come by.

If your foundation is rock solid though, if your rock is Christ himself, how can they get in?  Just like the house that weathered the storm, the lock will hold tight, keeping the door of your mind and heart from being opened by anyone but those who should be opening it.   That doesn't mean a blind obedience, it means a discerning heart.  We pick and choose those things which will make us better.  We stop looking at, listening, choosing, and participating in those things which erode away our foundation, which draw us farther and farther away from Christ.

“A strong city have we;
he sets up walls and ramparts to protect us.
Open up the gates
to let in a nation that is just,
one that keeps faith.
A nation of firm purpose you keep in peace;
in peace, for its trust in you.”


That's what I take from the first reading as well.   Just as Jesus words say in the gospel, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the Kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.”   It's more than just hearing, or saying... it's living the Gospel.  It's making your life a beacon in a world of darkness.  It's making sure your foundation is rock solid.  That Rock is Jesus Christ himself.  That is the bed stone of our Church.  We should open our gates to let in those things which keep the faith.  We should have a firm purpose, indeed.   Locking the doors to any evil influence, and carefully and spiritually discerning what we should let in.

How powerful a reminder of this is the Saint of tomorrow's memorial.  Saint Francis Xavier was probably the greatest evangelist since Saint Paul himself.  It is credited to Francis to have been directly involved in the conversion of over fifty thousand souls, even an entire city at once.  He followed God's calling and went wherever he needed to help spread the Church, in the end giving his life in the pursuit of that faith.  That's what a rock solid faith looks like.   It gives itself.  It pours itself out.  It does whatever necessary to spread the faith in it's entirety, not some watered down version.  When we water it down... we erode the foundation... we weaken the lock.

As we continue our journey in advent toward Christmas, that's what we need to be asking ourselves.  Is our foundation solid?  Are our doors locked?  Are there things in our lives that are eroding that foundation?  Have I kept God at the center of my life? Or is something else creeping into his place?  Let us prepare our hearts like the temple that were created to be.  As we approach Christmas, let's dust out the corners, shake out the curtains, and sweep out the cob webs.  Let's close the door on those things which are trying to get in that have no place, no right to be there, and instead let Christ be reborn in our hearts.  Then we can truly proclaim with the Psalmist: "This gate is the LORD’s; the just shall enter it. I will give thanks to you, for you have answered me and have been my savior."

His servant and yours,
Brian

Time Travel

This is a thought that I shared with a friend many years ago before becoming Catholic, but has developed even further over time.  Another friend and I were just sharing in a blog comment and I wrote it out there.   Our conversation was about reverence for the Eucharist, about being aware of what is happening when you go up to receive Christ. 

I think people underestimate the power of what they are receiving. Back when I was in high school studying physics, there was a little side bar in the book. It said something about how much energy it takes to go from the speed of sound to the speed of light. The equation went something like N for initial velocity, N+1 for this speed, N+2.... by the time it got to almost the speed of sound it was an astronomical amount of energy expended.

Then it said to go from that speed (almost to speed of light) to the speed of light would require the sum of all previous energy expenditures added together. An 'infinite' amount of energy would be required to move beyond the speed of light (aka time travel.)

Think about that for a minute. We as Catholics believe that Viaticum is food for the journey.. the journey from this life to the next. From being here, present in time, to there with God outside of time. To move beyond time requires infinite energy.. and all of it is present right there in the Eucharist.

Wow... in that one bite, that one morsel is all of Jesus Christ, all of his body, soul and divinity. Do we really think of that before we consume Him?  He has crossed all time and space to allow you to receive Him, bringing that moment in history, bringing you and everyone else present to the foot of Calvary to be a part of that one event, not a new sacrifice, but making that one sacrifice present again.  Not a symbol, but literally to 're-present' that event.  Do you realize what He has done for you?  Does our reverence and behavior at Mass show that we truly believe it?  It is awe inspiring.  Do we let it inspire that awe in us?

His servant and yours,
Brian

Food for the Journey

Tomorrow's Gospel reading is a familiar scene to most anyone who is familiar with Christ and Christianity.  It is the story of Jesus feeding a massive crowd with just a few loaves and fish. It reminds me of the journey through the desert.  When the Israelites left Egypt they came with just a small bit of food.   They had no idea where to turn for sustenance.  Even though God had just parted the red sea for them, it never occurred to them that God would provide.  They began to grumble about how they left a land where they at least had food every day, even if slaves.   Then, though they did not deserve it, God provided them manna from heaven.   These miraculous flakes of food appeared in the morning and all they had to do was reach out and collect them.

Here in the Gospel we see again crowds of men and women gathered together.  They had been around him seeking healing, seeking miracles, seeking answers.  For three days now they had not eaten food and Jesus was moved with pity on them.  Even though Jesus had just healed the sick, made the lame to walk, the blind to see, and had previously performed a similar miracle of feeding a huge crowd with very small amounts of food, his very own disciples still question where they are going to find food.  Just like the Israelites in the desert, it never occurred to them that God would provide. Just like in the desert, even though these people did not deserve it, God provided them with food for the journey.

John Chapter 6 gives us a glimpse into who Jesus truly is.  We as Catholics view this as the great Eucharistic discourse.  Unlike the Israelites in the desert who were fed with a bread from heaven, and the people gathered around this mountain who were also fed with a miraculous bread, Jesus tells us in the discourse that He is the true bread from Heaven.  He is the food that we must consume.  His wording here is strong and cannot be confused.  So strong in fact that people began to ask who this man was asking them to eat his flesh and drink his blood.  He did not say, "Oh I mean it figuratively.  Don't be silly."  No, rather he reaffirms it and tells them "You must gnaw on my flesh or you have no life in you."  Many of his disciples departed.  Instead of chasing after them informing them they misunderstood, he looked at the Apostles and said "You going with them?"

Peter's response is so telling.  "To who else would we go, you have the words of eternal life."  Indeed.  Here we are on our own journey.  Advent is a reminder of what the world was like before the Messiah was born.  It is also a reminder that we too must examine ourselves daily to make sure we are bringing about God's kingdom, that like the Blessed Mother, we try to bring Christ into the world.  We do this through our actions.  We do this through our faith. We do this through the way we live and breath.  Every moment can be a prayer delivered to God.  Jesus Christ is the bread that feeds us on this journey.  In the Eucharist we receive everything we need.  We receive Christ himself, a food so powerful that we do not consume it, it begins to instead transform us.  Even though we do not deserve it, God is daily providing us with food for our journey.

When you are at Mass, picture yourself on the mountain with Christ lifting up the loaf to bless it.  As the Host is elevated by the Priest, think of what this truly means.  You are about to be fed by Christ himself, with Christ himself.  Does it occur to you that all he asks of you is possible?  That these trials and tribulations you are going through right now are nothing compared to the gift you have received?  He asks the disciples how they will feed a couple thousand people, and it does not occur to them that He can do anything.  How much more so do we fail to think in our most dire times that He can do anything?  When he asks us, "How do you think we can do this?"  Do we respond, "God there is no way it can happen, we don't have enough bread."  "We don't have enough money."  "We don't have enough faith."  "We don't have enough time."   Or do we say, "Lord I don't know you are going to manage this, but I know I will be taken care of."

Then at that moment, the first reading becomes real and God's Kingdom is made present to us:

On that day it will be said:
“Behold our God, to whom we looked to save us!
This is the LORD for whom we looked;
let us rejoice and be glad that he has saved us!”
For the hand of the LORD will rest on this mountain.

His servant and yours,
Brian

What crown is this?

This morning I spent an hour in adoration praying for a friend.  During that time I prayed my daily rosary with that intention in my heart while also meditating on the Sorrowful Mysteries.  I was struck with a deep sense of love and mercy.  As I began to pray and meditate on the Third Sorrowful Mystery, the crowning of thorns, my heart really went out to my friend.  While it was one of those personal and unspoken prayer requests, the message was clearly for them.  I wanted to share it with all of you as well.

My Lord and Savior, how pitiful a sight it must have been.  Having been scourged and beaten, your body wracked with pain, how did you have the strength to continue on the journey?  As they placed the mocking robe around your shoulders, onto the flayed and fractured skin, oh the pain that must have coursed throughout your existence.  Here the man who is King of all, being made into what to mortal eyes must have seemed a contemptuous parody.  With all the angels at your command your love for us kept you from calling them to your defense.  Ah, how undeserving we are of that love.

As they placed the crown of thorn on your sacred dome, deriding the very nature of your holy and regal being.  The thorns piercing your tender flesh, bleeding profusely across your stately countenance.  You bore this mortification in our place.  Having emptied yourself, you came to this world with this purpose in mind.  You who wore the very fabric of space and time as your robe, took on this tattered and worn garment of purple.   Him who was crowned with so much power and glory that even looking upon his face would bring on the fear of death, was woven a crown of dried, discordant twigs.  From the comfort of your heavenly throne you took on instead the discomfort of the Cross. 

My child, he seemed to say to me, I did this for you.  What you are going through now is a crown of your own thorns.  A crown that seems full of shame and loss.  A decision that makes you tremble on the inside, throwing yourself on the ground in your own garden of Gethsemane and begging God to take this cup from you.  Oh, my child do not let Satan convince you of this.  Satan is your Rome, your opponent.  He wishes to make you seem far away, beaten and destroyed. For you are a child of God, by my work you have become my co-heir and your dignity is that of the royal family.  You have been grafted into the shoot that sprang forth form Jesse's stump.   Your adversary wants you to believe that your shame is your dignity.  That your fear is your robe.  No, embrace this cross no matter how difficult.  Lift up your chin and bear yourself with the regal countenance that comes from being my sibling.   March forth and embrace your cross, and walk towards your Easter.  Do not be resigned but rather like Jesus, rejoice in the Holy Spirit.  Love this burden.  Grasp it in your arms as you would a newborn child.  Carry it as you would your own.   For then your cross will become a cross, without a cross.

His servant and yours,
Brian

The Rest is just Icing on the Cake

Back when my daughter was much younger she stayed at home with me during the day.  We would work on learning the things she needed to know for school.  My mother had bought us these wonderful little math and reading flash cards and we would use those.  We would also go over very simple things about God and the bible.   I was trying to prepare her for her life of learning, both in the secular world of public education and in the religious world of C.C.D.  There were times she'd get what I would say, and other times I wasn't sure she was learning, especially when it came to things like who God was, the Holy Spirit, Jesus, and the trinity.  How do you explain such difficult concepts to someone who is 4 years old?

I still did my best and we would talk plainly and simply about God.  As her math skills improved, her letter recognition and even simple reading began to flourish as well.  One day she was laying on the floor looking up through the skylight at the sky.  She sat scrunching up her face like she was trying to figure something out. 

"What are you thinking about?", I asked.

"Thinking about the Holy Ghost."

"ah, what about him?"

"That cloud looks like him."

"How so?"

"Well, it looks like Jesus, but he has on a costume like the Holy Spirit."

It's a simple analogy, and imperfect in many ways.  But she was getting it!  She knew that they were both God.. but they were different people, different looking, but the same substance.   I was so excited!  She was learning!  How beautiful that is for a parent to watch their child begin to wrestle with difficult, and even abstract concepts, and start to grasp them for the first time.

In the Gospel for tomorrow I feel that is why Jesus is rejoicing.  Seventy of his missionaries have just returned filled with excitement at the success of their mission.  "Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!"   How amazing that must be?  How powerful and exciting to see the Lord move through miracles that make his presence evident in the world.  Yet, Jesus reminds them that it isn't these loud showy things that they should be excited about, but their salvation.  How often is it that we want that though?  We want the flash.  We want the bang.   We want to see the mountains move.  We want the fourth of July.  Jesus wants to give us Easter though.  As Elijah found on the top of the mountain, God wasn't in the lightning.  He wasn't in the earth quake.  Not in the thunder or the flame.  He was in the stillness, in the quite whispering wind of the Spirit.

Notice that phrase at the start of the Gospel?  Jesus rejoiced in the Holy Spirit. That's what we should be asking to do as well.  That's the beauty of having the Holy Spirit in our lives.  We don't need the flashy.  We don't need the speaking in tongues, or the shouting Amen, though these things can be beautiful if done correctly.   We don't need the falling out in the spirit, or the miraculous healings, though those too are beautiful and wonderful.  Rather we rejoice in just being filled with God.  Just his presence in our hearts gives us joy.  All the rest is just icing on the cake. 

The disciples got to see something that the Prophets and Kings of old desired to see.  They got to see the Kingdom of God before them, the Messiah standing in their presence.  For centuries the people of God had been longing for this moment, to come face to face with God made man.  Many didn't see him.  Many ignored him, or thought him to not be doing the right things.  The simple, trusting disciples were the ones who saw all of this come to pass.  They got to see Christ.  They got to see God and live. 

What about you?  Jesus says to us today as well, "do not rejoice in these miracles; but rather rejoice that your names are written in Heaven."  Again, he says "I tell you that many prophets and kings desired to see what you see, and did not see it."  Do you realize how blessed you are?  You get to see the risen Lord in the Eucharist every day you choose to do so.  Do you rejoice?  Or do you desire rather the flashy, explosive things.   Pray to the Holy Spirit that you too will rejoice in Christ's presence in your life.  That you will be filled with joy, not seeking the explosive manifestations of the spirit that sparkle and shine in the sky like the fourth of July.. but rather Easter.  That transformation that brings you from death to life.  If the explosions come?  Then rejoice.  If not?  Rejoice. 

Everlasting life is a more astounding miracle than anything we might see here in this world.   Rejoice!

His servant and yours,
Brian

An Evangelist to the End!

Fishers of Men by Kim Freitas

It's Advent!  How exciting! How beautiful!  Do you feel the change in the air?  We should.  This beautiful season is to remind us of what it felt like to be present for the promise of the Christ, the Messiah, Emmanuel!  The Jewish people still in captivity after such a long time, not only bound by the government of Rome but also still warring with sin in their flesh; were waiting for the promised deliverance, the prophet greater than Moses, for Jesus Christ himself.   Mary had been promised to deliver a child by the angel Gabriel and here we approach the date of his birth. 

We don't just celebrate a birthday on a birthday you know.   We don't just celebrate a past event, though that is part of it.  We celebrate the person!  We celebrate their past, their present, and their future.  We talk about what they were like as a child, maybe even pulling out some of those embarrassing baby photos to show the new members of our clan.  We tell jokes and stories.  We ask them how they are and spend time appreciating them!  We wish them many more happy years, and give them gifts.  Oh how wonderful a birthday is!  A day to remember a person, and a sad parting at the end when they must go back to their life and you to yours. 

That's the beauty of Christmas though, when we celebrate Christ's birthday it doesn't have to end there.  So here we are moving toward his birthday.  Some would say we should celebrate it every day of the year.. and you know they are right!  That's not what Christmas is about though.  It is not a day to stop and say ok, remember Christ today and forget him tomorrow.  No, it is a holiday to remind us to stop and say, have I been doing it!  Have I forgotten who Christ is?  Have I spent as much time with him as I should?  Let's tell those stories.  Let's talk to him, and listen to him, and appreciate him.  Then take him with us throughout the year.  We all need those reminders.  We need those days to remind us not to take things for granted. Not to forget.

Today is the feast of Saint Andrew the apostle.  There is a man who was a true evangelist.  A man who did not forget and took Christ with him.  The first reading from Saint Paul's letter to the Romans reminds us that faith comes from hearing.  How can they hear without someone to preach?  How can people preach unless they are sent?  The shepherd's in the field were one of the first to hear the good news.  They were told by the angels themselves!  The angel's were sent by God.  They announced who Jesus was, and pointed to him.  Jesus then sent Andrew.  Andrew announced the good news as well.  Andrew was so enamored with Christ, so filled with the Holy Spirit that it is said that when he was martyred in Patras they bound him to a cross.  They left him there for two days. For both days he preached to the crowds gathered.. using every last bit of his life to preach to them that Christ was the messiah, and the way, the truth and the life.

Then in today's Gospel according to Saint Matthew we hear the story of Andrew's calling.  Jesus called to Andrew and Peter and told them to stop casting their nets into the sea, that he would make them fishers of men.  Matthew tells us that immediately they left their boat and their father and followed him.   They didn't wait till later.  They didn't pack up and say their goodbyes.  Rather they left, right then and there to do the will of God.  Come after me.   That was Jesus first words to them in this encounter.  Follow me.  As we journey through Advent and the Christmas season I think that is our challenge.  Just like the Shepherd's who heard the message came to find Christ in the manger, just as the Wise Men from the East saw his star and came to worship, just as Mary, the disciple par excellence, heard the message and gave an eternal yes to the father to bring Christ into the world... so too must we.

You and I, brothers and sisters, are called by our baptism to be apostles to Christ.  An apostle is one who has been called by the Lord, sent by the Lord, and has seen the risen Lord.   If you are Catholic you fit the bill.  You have been called through your baptism into the life of the Church.  Jesus has called you to this.  It was not you alone though it was your choice.  Jesus said no one can come to me, unless the Father who sent me draws them.  You have been called. You have been sent.  Every time we go to Mass at the end of Mass we hear something to the effect of "The Mass is ended, go forth and glorify the Lord with your lives."  The Priest or Deacon is not just saying "Hey see you next Sunday."  No, it is a sending forth!  You are being sent into the world to deliver the Gospel!  The food you have just received from this table, you are going out into the world to share it with everyone else!  You have been sent.

Finally, the one that so many people miss, you have seen the risen Lord.  I said this to my confirmation class recently and all of them demanded to know when.  In the Eucharist!  We Catholics do not believe it is a mere symbol.  We believe that Jesus Christ is truly present, literally and entirely in the Eucharist.  He is not trapped there.  He is not only there... but he is very much there!  When the Priest lifts up the Eucharist in Mass we look upon the divine deity, Christ himself!  Wow!  Does that floor you?  It should.  You have been called!  You have been sent!  You have seen the risen Christ!  You are an apostle.  That means you too must go forth preaching to the world! Oh, indeed, how beautiful are the feet of those who bring the good news!  Be those feet!

Are you ready for this?  If you were crucified today would you spend your last two days of life, starving and in pain, to preach the message of Christ to anyone who would listen?  Are you preaching Christ in your daily life?  Do people know you are a disciple of Christ?  Does your life exhibit the truth of the Gospel?  Are you following Him?  That's what Advent is about.  It's time my friends, to examine our hearts.. our lives.. our consciences and ask ourselves.. have we forgotten?  Let us use this Advent wisely as we approach Christmas.  Let us remember that our lives are ordered towards Easter, but they begin with Christmas.  So let's journey through our liturgical year to remind us of Jesus past present and future.. and as disciples of Christ let us remember that the means we want our lives to look like his.  Use this time to look at your own past, present and future... You have been born in Baptism.  It doesn't end there.  You are being reborn daily, with your choices, with your actions... with your thoughts.  Are you letting Christ be born in your heart now? Or is there something in the way..   You will be reborn after this life.  Where will you spend your eternity?  Now is the time.  Get ready.  Be ready.  Stay ready.

His servant and yours,
Brian

Happy New Year!

Be vigilant!   That is our message from today's Gospel.  As we enter the season of Advent, we see more of that Apocalyptic literature that reminds us to be ever ready and watchful for the return of our Lord, Jesus Christ.  It exhorts us to continue working towards that perfection, that holiness of life that comes with following Christ as our example.  It also evokes in our hearts the realization that we all have one thing in common.  We all eventually will die.  We all eventually will face judgement.  These readings are intense, but they are written not to scare us but to encourage.  A prompting to "conduct ourselves in a way pleasing to God."

The last few days I've been binge watching a television show that I find to be very interesting.  I wouldn't recommend it for children or anyone sensitive to harsh language, but the Man in the High Castle definitely shows us a danger of the human condition.  In this alternate reality the Nazi's created the bomb before America did.  This enabled them to not only win the war, but to take over half the country.  The other half seems to have been dominated by the Japanese which I imagine began with Pearl Harbor.  Throughout the series we see what life would truly be like if we didn't have freedom.  If you have ever complained about freedom here in the United States?  Give this show a watch.

Why do I mention this show?  When I watch it I see something about the characters that is very much vigilant.  They have their eyes open.  They are seeking the good of 'society'.  One of the characters is a Nazi commander and he very much seeks the best for the Nazi government.  He is dedicated.  He believes in what he is doing.  He keeps to his 'rule' of conduct at all costs.  In that though, he ignores one thing, his heart.  At one point he turns over his friend, because as he puts it, "There is no room for emotions" in the world.  He has left love behind. 

That is a danger that many people forget.  In their conduct they are trying to be pleasing to God, but God is pleased truly with love.  Our liturgies are important, our devotions too, our prayer and worship should be first and foremost in our lives.  All of it must be tempered with love.  Humanity is bad to stick to one ideology, one way of doing things, to the point of harming others in order to stick to that one way of life.  We aren't like the Nazi's, I agree.   Most of us would blanch at killing in order to purify the human race.  Yet, how many of us stick to our democratic or republican voting points regardless of if love is involved?  How many of us would vote the party line even if it means supporting one of the five non-negotiables?  How many of us decide that one liturgy is better than another? Or one version of music is the 'right' one, even to the point of running someone down to get our way?

Jesus said if we were angry with our brother it was the same as murdering him.  If we are so set in our ways of doing things, and have not love, St. Paul says we are just a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  That is, we are just a loud noise with no effectiveness, pushing people away and harming them instead of soothing them and drawing them closer to Christ.  When we decide at work that our way is the only way to do things, even to the point of not being charitable to that person who wants to try something new, hurting their feelings and gossiping behind their back; aren't we killing them with our words and thoughts?  Jesus condemned empty and hollow tradition.  He said that the Pharisees were like white washed tombs.  On the outside they did all the right things.  On the inside there remained the filth of decay and the bones of dead men.  Are you the same inside as your are outside? or are you wearing a mask? We must change.  We must start with love.  Then and only then, when we do our traditions out of love.. they are a true and pleasing sacrifice to the Lord. 

As we approach Christmas through advent let us do so with love.  Let us invite others into our celebration.  Let us spread the word, declaring "Blessed Advent" or "Happy Advent" to those who wish us a "Happy Holidays."   Then when they ask what Advent is, let us explain our traditions, how that we are journeying towards Christmas to remind us of that grateful expectation that Israel felt as they waited for the long prophesied Savior and Messiah.  Let us build that palatable excitement in our lives until we can sing with the angels, the Saints, and the blessed Virgin Mary:

“Glory to God in the highest heaven,    and on earth peace among those whom he favors!”

His servant and yours,
Brian

The Bears Win!

Today's readings are quite intense.  Since we are less than a day away from Advent it would be expected that the intensity grows, and so it does!  We see all these strong apocalyptic images of great beasts rising up and devouring, and then falling away to the next beast.  What are these images about?  Apocalyptic literature is always kind of scary and many people spend the majority of their lives trying to find out who these people are, not just in the past but some try to interpret them as in the present.  The point of the literature, though it can be prophetic and often was, is to point to righteousness and faith being the key to redemption.  They almost always end with the judgement seat of God and the end of time.

The lions, tigers and bears (oh my!) represent strength and characteristics of kingdoms to come and go.   Just as you and I would be scared if a bear walked into our living room, let alone a bear with three large tusks; so too was the imagery intended to convey a message.  That message is that these kingdoms that are coming and going are very powerful, savage and cruel.  They all fall though.  This scene in Daniel ends with the coronation of the Son of Man coming on the clouds.  Jesus is in charge.  These kingdoms, despite their power and guile, will all fall away.. the only Kingdom that reigns forever is that of the Messiah, of the Christ.  This is the promise of the Davidic throne, this is the promise to us through Christ, the only begotten Son of God. 

Then we see this interesting parable that talks about figs, and signs of the times.  Just like in the apocalyptic literature we see symbols of what is going on in the world politically at the time, we see Jesus teaching us to keep our eyes and ears open.  He talks about the fact that we see the buds of the fig trees ready to burst forth and that shows us that summer is almost here, so too should we keep our minds open for the coming of Christ.  He also taught us though, that only the Father will know that day.  So what does he mean?  He means to be vigilant.  To be ready.

I was trying to learn more about figs earlier today, to see how this parable could apply to my life.  I grew up helping to tend bee hives occasionally.   I had heard quite a bit about bees and how they pollinate the food we eat, helping things to grow and reproduce.  I did not know that wasps also for some plants do the same thing.  Figs have a special kind of wasp that not only pollinates the fruit but also lays it's eggs there.  The queen crawls into the fig, lays her eggs, in the process pollinates the inside of the fruit, and then she dies.  She is consumed by the fig. 

That's a strange relationship.  The thing is, if you ask me about wasps I truly think of them as a terror.  Compared to bears, lions, eagles... a wasp is much scarier to me.  I don't know why.  Their little faces make me think of pure evil.  That to me is the lesson I take from this whole situation.  I think of the wasp as evil, as those things inside of me that get in the way of me letting God have complete control.  Just like the fig I often think these things are for my good.  I let them crawl around inside, not really asking what to do with them.  The fig teaches us a lesson though.  When we have those things inside we need to dissolve them.  We need to let the Jesus inside of us consume those things, drive them out... leaving nothing but the fruit inside. 

I think that's our lesson.  As the liturgical year ends, our minds begin to think of the end of time.  We don't know when that will come.  We don't know exactly what that will look like, or what it means for us to transition from life to eternity.  What we do know is that we need to be ready.  We need to let the Holy Spirit scatter the darkness in our hearts until nothing is left but the sweetness of His fruits.  As my dear friend Kenn often says, "Get ready, be ready, stay ready."  Don't wait till tomorrow, don't simply watch for signs of things to come.. but be ready regardless of what is happening.  Don't let your lamp go empty, keep the fuel handy at all times.

His servant and yours,
Brian

Detachment in the Dark

I once had the dubious honor of staying in a $10 dollar a night hotel near an air port in western Kentucky.  My company had sent me all the way across the state to work on a heat pump on a Lowe's to find out why it wasn't working.  I drove around trying to save them money by looking for the cheapest hotel money could buy.  I found this place right at the end of the runway strip.  I paid for my room in cash, got a receipt and drove my truck around to the unlit parking lot in the back.  The outside was faded with paint falling down in big chips.  The smell of body odor and urine permeated the air.  All of which was hard to take, but not the worst of the night.

I opened the door to my hotel room and the stench of unwashed sheets, mildew and human fluids struck my face.  I turned on the light and heard a scattering.  Roaches.   They were going everywhere, trying to find a place to hide.  I noticed on the wall in front of me a sign that said, "No refunds once you have entered the room."  Silly me.  I had already entered the room.  I decided to grin and bear it, and I made it through the night alive.  I didn't sleep much.  I could hear the roaches crawling up and down the wall by the bed all night.  Every time a plane flew over the roar of it would make things fall off the ceiling.  I didn't turn on a light to see what they were.  I was hoping it was more paint flakes.

Why do I tell you this story?  Earlier when I was meditating I was struck by the imagery presented in scripture of Jesus as the light of the world.  I began to ponder how that our hearts, much like our inner home, are often filled with dust, with dark things, with our own sins.  When we allow Jesus in the light scatters the darkness.  I wonder if it looks like those roaches running from the light?  Do they skitter in the dark and try to find a place to hide?  I think that often we don't open all the doors though.  We only want Jesus to come in so far.  So those really dark things, those things we don't want to give up, they run and hide.  They are still there.  We have an attachment to them.

I think that's why often when we pray, when God is really beginning to move in our hearts, things begin to surface.  Distracting thoughts, worries, fears... .they all skitter out in the light because they were hidden somewhere that God has just opened in our hearts.  Sometimes we fight them.. we get upset with ourselves or angry that they are there.. instead we need to focus on letting God in completely.  Let him drive out that darkness.  We cannot do it on our own. All we can do is open the door to Jesus and let him come in... he'll do the cleaning. That is really the thing we need to concentrate on.  Being present to Him.  Opening ourselves to Him.  Loving Him.  Until the light of Christ floods our inner recesses and there is no place left for our sins, our attachments, our egos to hide.  Only then can we face them, and with His help, defeat them. 

Are you ready to flood every recess of your heart?  Are all your doors open? Is there anything you are holding on to that you just haven't had the courage to let go of?  Now is the time. 

His servant and yours;
Brian

Happy Thanksgiving!

What does it mean to be thankful? That is something that is heavy on my heart the past few days.  As we approach the holiday of Thanksgiving, it is something I think all of us should be thinking about.  Someone challenged me to do this thirty day challenge on Facebook.  That is, for around thirty days I have been attempting to come up with something each day to be thankful for.  Doesn't sound too hard does it?  The first few days didn't require much thought at all.  It was easy to come up with a blessing.  I could just look around at some relationship I had, some thing I had been given, some good event that was in my life.   All of these were evident and stood out.  After twenty days though, I began to have to spend more time thinking of something to be thankful for.

Tomorrow's reading for Thanksgiving reminds us of the ten lepers who had a great deal to be thankful for.  These men had been ostracized from community.  They were in pain and diseased.  Their family and friends probably didn't get to come close to them for fear of catching the disease.  They could have been friends, brothers, sons, fathers, uncles. Jesus healed them.  On their way to see the priest they were completely cured of their disease.  Only one of them returned to see Jesus.  Only one truly went to the priest and showed himself clean. The others sought God when they needed him, once cured they ran off to live their lives. 

How often do we do that ourselves?  We give thanks for the good, but we ignore the bad.  We seek God when we have needs.  Then when everything is going smoothly we don't have time for all that religious stuff.  When I first had my back surgery I was very disappointed.  Here I was, a relatively young man, having almost my entire spine fused.  I prayed to God that I wouldn't have to do it.  I still did.  I got a little upset later, because I was now bedridden for quite some time.   I had to have a brace on just to sit up.  My wife had to help me to the bathroom.  Help me take sponge baths.  Help me do just about everything.  At first I couldn't even have wrinkles in the sheets. My back hurt so bad the slightest fold in the fabric would bring me to tears.  My wife patiently stood by my side and helped me through this time.

If you had asked me then are you thankful for your surgery?  I would have become angry.  The thing is, I was one of the nine.   I wasn't thankful for what God had given me.  This surgery was a gift that I could not see.  So I went off to do my own thing.  I can look back now and see how much of a blessing this was.  Sure, sometimes I can't put my shoes on myself.   Some days I can barely bend over and someone has to hand me things off the floor.  Some days I have to have help taking my shirt off.  I still find that wrinkles in the sheets can cause me some pretty intense discomfort.  How can I be thankful for this? 

As a result of my surgery I was able to watch my daughter take her first steps.  I got to spend time with her.  I got to teach her.  I got to hold her when she got her first scrape.  I got to watch as her sisters taught her to ride a bike.  I got to watch them go through their firsts too.  I got to change diapers.  More diapers than I ever wanted to see.  I got to see my nieces, Liaden and Fianna, go through some of their firsts. I got to spend time with all of their siblings that I would not have been able to do otherwise.  I have been able to spend time studying, lead bible studies, prayer groups, faith sessions, and even hope to become a Deacon.   All of these things I might not have been able to do because of something I did not see as a blessing. 

What about you?  Are there things going on right now that seem like a curse?  Things that aren't going the way you want them to?  Are you thankful for them? It's not too late.  I too need to look at my life and ask, where have I not given thanks?  Then, like the one foreigner, glorify God in a loud voice; and fall at the feet of Jesus and thank him.

His servant and yours,

Brian

The Writing on the Wall

When the girls were all still little, before our fourth, I came home from work one day to find a bunch of artwork on the bedroom wall with words written in it.   There were some names, some drawings, and even some lipstick and nail polish mixed in.  I called each of the kids in and Julie I began to ask them who did it.  There was a lot of finger pointing, a lot of blame towards the others.  Her mother and I did not need to ask.  We already knew what was written on the wall, and we knew who did it.  That's because only the oldest knew how to read and write.  The fact there were words in the 'art' work indicated she was involved.

When I read this reading for tomorrow's daily Mass I think of that moment.  The kings sorcerers and diviners could not tell you who wrote on the wall or what they wrote.  Daniel though, knew immediately what it was.  Just like Julie and I knew that the oldest was the author, Daniel knew immediately it was a message from God.  How?  Because he knew Him.  Just like we knew enough about our daughters to know who wrote it, we could also begin to understand what she meant by it.  What the words meant to her, what the colors meant to her, what the images might mean to her.  We could begin to understand the message, because we were familiar with the artist.  Daniel knew the message on the wall of king Belshazzar because he too was familiar with it's artist.  He knew the work of God when he saw it.

Daniel didn't need time to figure out the message.  He began to speak immediately informing the king of what God intended by the three words on the wall.  The fact that Daniel was already familiar with God and close to Him allowed him to speak the interpretation.  God gave him the meaning.  God gave him the words to say.

We see the same message in tomorrow's Gospel.  Jesus warns the disciples in the crowd that they will go through much suffering and persecution on account of him.  He tells them though that they don't need to worry about what to say, because he will give them the words to say. Through the Holy Spirit they will be reminded of what words to say.  Because they know Him, and are familiar with Him, the message will be clear immediately.

As we approach the end of the Liturgical year, we approach the season of Advent.  That season reminds us of Jesus birth in our world, of his second coming, and of the need for us to keep him 'being born' in the world every moment of every day.  The question becomes, do you know Him?  Do you know Him well enough that writing on the wall will be clear to you?  Are you open to His spirit so that He can guide your words and actions?  Are you allowing Him to be born through you? Let us draw closer to Christ through the Church, and through the Sacraments.  Let us prepare our hearts to be a living manger, that Christ may come to us through the Eucharist and remain born in our hearts, feeding us, transforming us, into something more.  Just as the manger in the cave must have been made sacred, holy by touching Christ himself... so too must you remember that you yourself are touched by Christ and are being made Holy. 

I have work to do to become a Saint.  Let us journey together on this road.  Helping one another to see the writing on the wall and receive the message from God in our hearts, minds, and souls.

His servant and yours,
Brian