I'm Not Here to Make Friends....

A Reflection for the Daily Readings for the Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul, June 29th, 2016

Acts 12:1-11
Psalms 34:2-9
2 Timothy 4:6-8, 17-18
The Holy Gospel According to Saint Matthew 16:13-19

Over a decade ago I was going through a rough patch in my life.  A broken relationship, a house that was falling apart (mostly my fault), debt up to my ears, and a stagnant job that provided no chance of advancement.   As I worked one day I received a call from a competitors company who had heard of me and wanted to know if I wanted a job.   He offered me a company truck, a gas card, more money on the hour, and health insurance.  I went to my boss who had told me a few weeks before that I was capped out when I asked about a raise, and I said here is what they are offering.  I didn't want to leave, but he didn't counter or even argue.. he just let me go.  So be it I decided.

I started the new job with gusto!  I went in working as hard as my body could manage, as many hours as they'd let me, running jobs from the very start.  One job finished, another.. people didn't like me.  I didn't remind about breaks, I told them when I thought they were slacking, and I pushed them to finish the job as fast as possible.   I was making the company money.  As I told my help when they'd complain: "I'm not here to make friends.  I'm here to do a job."   So I did.  That broken relationship fell completely apart.  The power and water got turned off at home.   I went on the road and stayed in hotels.  As far as I was concerned I was successful, I was who I needed to be.  I even changed my name from Brian to Ken for a while, to show the new me.. the workaholic.   The man afraid to face his life.

CCC 2158 God calls each one by name. Everyone's name is sacred. The name is the icon of the person. It demands respect as a sign of the dignity of the one who bears it.

Eventually a man who had weaseled his way in through a chink in my armor took me aside at lunch.  He said he remembered the me when I first started, the one who sat in his truck at lunch time reading his bible, etc.  He asked me a few questions and I answered them, evening pulling out my trusty 1611 King James bible from under the truck seat (and having to dust it off).   He said there he is, that's the guy I remember.  It was a wake up call.   It was who I was meant to be, it was who God had made me to be.  Not that I started slacking, no I worked just as hard.  I stopped being a wall though.  I let people in to see the real me.   I treated them with dignity and respect, and earned some respect of my own.  Soon we were all friends and though I was still completing jobs as fast as possible... people didn't complain as much, they didn't get angry and go to the office in the evenings talking about how much of a jerk I was... no I was being the man I was supposed to be.

The world wants us to remain in those chains, you know?  That a successful man or woman must be one who puts the job before relationships.  The one who gets the job done with maximum profit regardless of who they offend, hurt or cause to quit.   God wants us to be free from the chains of life.  That doesn't mean we don't work, the opposite is true there.  He wants our yes to be yes, and our no no.  He challenges us to put in our time as efficiently and skillfully as we can... but He wants us to do so with joy!  To be the kind of person that draws others to them, not pushes them away.   To do so though we can't just say "I believe" and then go on living as we have always lived.  We must become a new person, we have to listen to the messenger when they say "get up! get dressed! follow me!"  Notice that Peter's chains didn't fall off till He got up!

God gives us a new name.  A new name means a new start!  I tried to do it on my own, by changing the name people referred to me by and becoming the man I wanted to be.   I wanted to follow in my dad's footsteps and be the foreman that got it done, the one who knew how to get the best out of his men.  I thought that meant intimidation.. but it meant camaraderie.     I thought it meant working without care for those around me, but my dad taught me years later it meant working as a servant to those below you.  Making sure they were safe, cared for, and knowing them.  A man who trusts you, a man who feels that bond.. will work harder for you than a man who lacks those emotions.  I never became a man who sat in the AC while my crew worked.  I hated working for people like that.  I was always right out there with them, pulling cable, running conduit, and digging ditches.  Yes, there were times I had to go to meetings or answer questions.. but in between?  I didn't just stand around talking.. I worked with them.. as a brother, as an equal.

CCC 2159 The name one receives is a name for eternity. In the kingdom, the mysterious and unique character of each person marked with God's name will shine forth in splendor. "To him who conquers . . . I will give a white stone, with a new name written on the stone which no one knows except him who receives it." "Then I looked, and Lo, on Mount Zion stood the Lamb, and with him a hundred and forty- four thousand who had his name and his Father's name written on their foreheads."

At Confirmation we choose a Saint who lived the Gospels in a way that speaks to us.   It isn't that we want to become that Saint.. but that we want to follow the same path they did when they were alive.  I chose Saint Francis of Assisi.  He was the kind of man I want to be like, one who showed Christ so fully in his life that other men followed Him.   One who lived life in a way that said I believe what I say, I have the courage of my convictions.  That kind of life strengthens us, it nourishes us.. to be strong enough to do what Saint Paul was speaking about in his letter to Timothy.. to pour ourselves out like a libation.   This life is not an easy one.. it means giving up attachment to all things in life.  It means getting outside of ourselves and letting Christ live through us.  It means living a life with a new name.. a name giving to us by God himself.

Saul was one of the worst persecutors in the Early Church.  He literally ripped people from their homes and turned them in, if not standing by while others stoned them.  He thought he was doing right, he was trying to make a name.  He was getting the job done.   Jesus appeared to him and said "Get up.  Follow me."  Saul became Paul and after years of contemplation became one of the greatest evangelizers to the Gentile Nations.   Simon when left to his own devices would come to deny the lord three times, to flee from the scene of the cross, to raise a sword in anger... Jesus gave him a new name, again "Get up!  Follow me!"  When he began to live the name that Jesus had given him, he became Peter.. the rock, the one who was given the keys to the Kingdom.   The man who when he was crucified asked to be crucified upside down because he didn't feel worthy to hang the same way as Christ.

They, like you and I, failed when they tried to live by their own name.  When they tried to write who they were on their own terms, even when it seemed right in their own estimation.   It was only when they accepted the name given to them by the Word, by He who through which everything was made, both visible and invisible, that they began to live life in Christ to its fullest.  To be poured out like a libation for their fellow man and to enter the Kingdom of God on God's terms.   Are you trying to set the terms?   Are you trying to give yourself a name?   Or are you letting God work through you to build up the name He has written for you eternally in the heavens?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease." 

A Rose by Any Other Name

The last few days I've talked about what Ordinary Time is (this post) and how that it begins to order our lives toward Christ (this post.)  That's what our liturgy is about.  The liturgical year is ordered in a way to bring the Christian's prayer life into a basic rhythm, that is to bring it rhythm with Christ.  We've seen in the previous two days the story of Hannah and the birth of her son Samuel.  Today we find the continuance of that story in our first reading.   Hannah had given her child back to God, she ordered her life, every part of it, even her children toward God.  So much so that she brought him to the temple to serve God from a young age.  Today that sounds odd.   Our modern sensibilities think it strange to give a child up, so much so that there is a negative connotation even on adoption.   We need to work on that. Adoption can be a beautiful and much needed way of respecting the life that God has entrusted in our hands.  What Hannah did was not only honorable, it is commendable, as any mother or father of a child called to the vocation of Priesthood can attest to.

Samuel is being trained by Eli in the temple.  Eli has gotten is now old, frail, and blind.  Samuel hears someone calling his name and runs to Eli.  Three times this happen, each time with Eli telling him it was not he who was calling him.  Through discernment, Eli is able to help Samuel realize that God is calling him.  So Samuel goes back to his room and waits for God to call him.  He does, and it begins a relationship with God that changed history. 

What do we learn from this encounter?  We learn first and foremost that God calls us by an individual name.  He knows us personally.  He is not a distant, transcendent God that is not involved in our lives.  Isaiah says it like this, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." (Isaiah 43:1)  You and I are unique.  No one else can ever replace us.  The catechism says it in such a beautiful way:

God calls each one by name. Everyone's name is sacred. The name is the icon of the person. It demands respect as a sign of the dignity of the one who bears it. (CCC 2158)

Let that sink in for a moment.  Each of us is made in God's image.  Each of us has a name, a label.  Everyone's name is sacred.  Wow.  As a man who was raised in the South, I remember growing up how important a name was.  Even to this day I get furious when someone lies about me.  There are a lot of things that I can handle with grace and humility... but lying?  Dragging someone's name through the mud is a horrible thing.  You are taking that unique individual and attempting to turn them into something they are not.  Taking their label, the one God called them by.. the name He chose through their parents. A sacred icon of the individual... could you imagine how politics would change if we actually lived this teaching of our Church?

Then we come to the Gospel reading.  What does this event here seem to do with Eli and Samuel? Remember, Ordinary time is all about ordering our life toward Christ.  That means when we read the gospel we should be thinking: Ok God you called me by name.  You love me for who I am.  I am unique and made in your image.  I have a dignity and should be respected by all.  How can I draw closer to you? The answer is in the life of Christ. 

A friend and I were just talking about what it means to be human.  For some, human existence is only here.  Only now.  For the Christian existence extends beyond the mere temporal realm and into eternity.  Well, how then can we know what a human is like if we only experience the now?  Through the one human who has experienced both.   In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  That Word became flesh and dwelt among us.  That Word is Jesus Christ.  Jesus Christ is the fullness of revelation, because he is the fullness of humanity.  Not just the humanity we know and experience, but the way humanity should be.   The way it was before the fall in the Garden of Eden.  It is through Jesus that we see what our potential truly is, and in being more like Him that we become the fully unique individual that God has created us to be.

You see, concupiscence keeps us from being that person whom God is calling to. Grace allows us to grow into this person.  God loves us just as we are, that is true.  He loves us too much to leave us there.  In Jesus we see a man who heals.  A man who lifts up.  A man who gives of himself in serving the poor and the sick.  In the Gospel he is busy on a Saturday, when most people are sitting around and relaxing, He is going into the homes and making the world a better place.  That is our first example, and a profound one.  It's not enough to just go to Church.   It's not enough to just go and preach or listen.  It requires taking that Sacramental Presence of Christ out into the world and giving of your self to those in need.

Then we see another example.  Jesus goes out alone in the middle of the night hours and begins to pray.  He takes time off to spend time with the Father.  Silence.  One on one time.  Our soul needs and craves this time with God.  We need to take time throughout the day to pray.   Time to reorient, to order our day toward Christ.  That's what is so beautiful about the Liturgy of the Hours.. it reminds us to stop at Morning, Midmorning, Midday, Midafternoon, Evening, and Nighttime to spend time with the Scriptures.  These rhythms are intended to nourish continual prayer(CCC 2698).  To lead the Christian to pray at all times without ceasing.  Just like a habit takes time to form, by praying every day at regular intervals  we draw our soul into singing praise to God continually. 

That's the goal isn't it?  To become so much like Christ that we can receive the grace he pleaded for us when he prayed:

And now I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one, as we are one. ¹² While I was with them, I protected them in your name that you have given me. I guarded them, and not one of them was lost except the one destined to be lost, so that the scripture might be fulfilled. . (John 17:11-12)

That brings me to my final point for this post.  You and I have a unique name, a beautiful and dignified name.  We also bear the name of Christian.  Our actions, our words, our sins.... they all show the world who we are.  The name Christian shows who we should be.  Are you living up to it?  It is a Sacred Name.   A name that demands respect as a sign of the dignity of the one who bears it.  Are you dragging it through the mud?  Or are you trying to display that dignity for others to see?  Not out of any sort of false piety or egotism.. but rather out of the humility of knowing that you are not worthy of that name.. but God loved you enough to bestow it on you through His son.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"I must decrease, He must increase."

Dressing up, Dressing down, Dressing out?

10 the Lord said to Moses: Go to the people and have them sanctify themselves today and tomorrow. Have them wash their garments 11 and be ready for the third day; for on the third day the Lord will come down on Mount Sinai in the sight of all the people.  Exodus 19:10-11 NAB

I've been reading a lot about modesty lately.  In reading those articles I often find articles also about 'dressing up' for Mass.  In reading about that I've felt convicted a few times about wearing my blue jeans and t-shirts.  I normally try to spiff up a little you know, a polo shirt or a button down shirt, Some slacks or khakis.   That's my look really for Mass.   I kept feeling though like I should be wearing a 'shirt and tie.'  I quickly pushed that out of my mind, it's summer!  It's 85+ out there, I already sweat enough as it is!

Then last night I felt the conviction again and talked to my wife about it. We both talked about the pros and cons, almost in a practical manner.  I was raised in a Baptist church where blue jeans and t-shirts were common for weekend services and everyone always said "God is no respecter of persons, he doesn't look at your clothes.'   You're right there.  God doesn't look at my clothes, he looks at my heart.  He judges my actions and their motives.

That brings me to this though... if I truly believe that Jesus Christ is physically present; body, soul and divinity; in the Eucharist... then how would I show that?   If the President were coming to town and having a banquet, I'd dress up for that.   If the bishop were coming to our parish, I'd be in my tux and knights regalia.  Yet, Jesus Christ is there every weekend.  He's not judging me based on my outside dress, but what are my motives? What are my actions?  Am I showing Him how much I love Him?   Am I treating Him with more respect and dignity than I would a visiting dignitary?

I still didn't want to wear my tie.  In fact, I didn't even know where it was.  I had 'halfheartedly' looked for it but had not found it.   Then while I was washing clothes last night I noticed my button up dress shirt in a pile of dirty laundry.  I grabbed it and just tossed it in with the others knowing I was going to need it for my scrutinies in a few weeks.  I washed clothes, and dried them.  Then while I was removing the clothes from the drier this morning to put it on my eyes locked on to something hanging behind the dryer on a pipe.  There, clean and crisp, was my tie.

I get it ok?  The shirt was right there.  The tie was right there.  All that was keeping me from putting it on ... was me.   So today I showed up to Mass in a tie.  Many people commented on my dress.  My daughter even asked me, why are you dressed up?  To which I responded, "I got invited to see Jesus this morning, so I dressed up for it."   She said, "Can you tone it down a little? That's too fancy for Mass."

We got a lot of work to do.  Starting right here in our own homes.  Our kids need to see us treating Mass as if it is worth dressing up for, because it is.  If our kids think that wearing a shirt and tie is too fancy for Mass?  We've missed the mark somewhere.  Yes, I know each persons best is different.  If your best clothes are honestly a pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt, don't feel bad for wearing them.  If you have a suit in the closet and you're wearing your ratty junk to Mass?  Something is wrong in our heart when we act that way.

Dress to show how you believe, offer yourself as a living sacrifice at Mass.  If you sweat?  So be it.  Uncomfortable collar?  Offer it up.  You're in the presence of the King of Kings.... it's time for us as Catholics to show the world what that means.

In Christ,

Brian