In season or out of season?

This morning at Mass the Gospel reminds us that even Jesus sometimes is in a bad mood.  As he walked in the morning hours, hungry and irritable, he came upon that poor fig tree.   It hadn't produced any figs.  Granted it wasn't the 'season' for figs, but that didn't stop Jesus from cursing the tree. This tree was acting like every other tree in the world.. just doing what all the other ones were doing.  Deacon Bill calls this story a parable in action.   Just like the stories that Jesus often tells to teach us spiritual messages, this action of his and it's results is in and of itself a lesson to be learned. All too often we want to wait till the time is ready by our standards, we want to be in control.   "I'll have kids when we can afford it."  "You know I'll get cleaned up when things get easier."  "I'll stop smoking after this audit is complete."  "I just need a few more drinks to get me through this month."  Jesus shows us a simple truth, God expects us to be ready "in season and out of season."   He wants us always producing fruit, regardless of what is going on around us... regardless of if we feel like it.  He wants us to be different.. not following the flow of things of the world, but of the things of Heaven.

There is a tree in my front yard that reminds me of this parable.   A few years ago a friend of mine lost her son to a drug overdose.  I noticed that afternoon that the tree was only getting leaves on half of it's branches.  Today it stands much the same with half of it looking pathetic, and half of it healthy and green.  The bark on the side that does not bloom is riddled with holes and falling off, and on the other side strong and firm.  It was as if that tree lost part of itself.  I wrote a poem about that, how that losing someone can be like that... like losing half of your self.. losing your way.  That tree is still plugging away trying, even if it doesn't feel like it.. even if seems like the world is against it, some disease eating away at it trying to sap it's strength.. it still struggles to find breath, digging in it's roots until it finds the nourishment it has to keep going.

CCC 1832 The fruits of the Spirit are perfections that the Holy Spirit forms in us as the first fruits of eternal glory. The tradition of the Church lists twelve of them: "charity, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, generosity, gentleness, faithfulness, modesty, self-control, chastity."

You and I are called to be like that.   Regardless of the pain and suffering we might endure.   Even if the entire world turns against us, father against son, mother against daughter, friend against friend; we are called to continue to produce fruit.  Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. We are to bloom where we are planted and to produce those fruits.   Peter reminds us in the first reading that the greatest of all these fruits is love, because love produces all of the others.  He challenges us to let our love for another be intense.   Another translation says let your love be fervent.  That is hot, burning and glowing!  Visible.  Apparent.  On the surface not just under it.

My wife and I have been married for ten years today.  For all of those years she has stood by my side, even when pain and illness made it impossible for me to stand as well.  She watched and cared for me as I had my back surgery and through the long, tedious recovery.  When I had my knee operated on, through many kidney stones, and days in which the pain was so horrible that I did not even move from the couch.  All through this she showed a fervent love, a love that bloomed and produced fruit regardless of how I treated her back.  There have been times when it wasn't smooth sailing.  Every couple argues at some point, every couple disagrees.  The thing is I don't remember those times as much.   When I think back I remember that kindness, the laughter, the smiles, the patience, and the trust.

1642 Christ is the source of this grace. "Just as of old God encountered his people with a covenant of love and fidelity, so our Savior, the spouse of the Church, now encounters Christian spouses through the sacrament of Matrimony." Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one another's burdens, to "be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ," and to love one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love. In the joys of their love and family life he gives them here on earth a foretaste of the wedding feast of the Lamb: How can I ever express the happiness of a marriage joined by the Church, strengthened by an offering, sealed by a blessing, announced by angels, and ratified by the Father? . . . How wonderful the bond between two believers, now one in hope, one in desire, one in discipline, one in the same service! They are both children of one Father and servants of the same Master, undivided in spirit and flesh, truly two in one flesh. Where the flesh is one, one also is the spirit.

I think that's why Jesus reminds us today that sometimes we've got to turn over the tables that get in the way.  Every relationship has rocky moments.  For some, that means walking away.  I've heard hundreds of people say "we just fell out of love."  That does happen.   It happens when you let the tables get in the way, when you let the money changes fill up your temple, when you let the roots starve your growth until you produce none of the fruit.  Love isn't just a sappy feeling that makes you have butterflies in the stomach.  It's a choice. An action.  It's deciding each and every day to stand by someone, even when they aren't pleasant.  It is being willing to fight for the beauty that is the person you are and the vocation you are called to.  You are the temple of God.  You and your spouse are one, joined together by a Sacrament that transcends this visible world.  Are you willing to fight for it?  To dig in your roots and continue to bloom even when it seems like the bark is falling off and the ground is filled with rocks?  Are you ready to look into your heart and life and ask where are these money changes and tables that stand in the way of my relationship with God and my spouse?  That's what it takes to produce fruit.  I haven't always been the perfect husband, and there are many days that I am not a pleasant man to be around... but I do know this.. I want to turn over those tables, to drive out those things which inhibit me from producing fruit, and to grow day by day into the man and husband that God is calling me to be.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

In the Hands of Mercy and Grace

In tomorrow's reading we see Paul continuing to prepare his followers for his departure.  For a time he has been teaching them, working alongside them, joining them for dinner and fellowship.  It's time though for him to move on.   Time for him to follow Christ where he leads, and in this case it leads him to uproot his life and journey back to Jerusalem for Pentecost. He doesn't leave them empty handed though.  "And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified." (Acts 20:32)  Grace.   Paul leaves those he loves, those he has come to know, in the hands of God and God's grace.

Grace is the means by which we have faith.  Grace is the help God gives us to respond to our vocation of becoming his adopted sons. It introduces us into the intimacy of the Trinitarian life. (CCC 2021) Grace is the very means of our salvation, it is the prime mover in the process of our justification.  It is the very Word of God itself which indeed will "build you up."   The Catholic Church has from its very beginning venerated those sacred writings that constitute a portion of the Deposit of faith.  They are not all we have though.   It is not just Sacred Scripture but Sacred Tradition that complete that deposit.  What the Apostles were given was not handed on in the form of a book, but rather was given to their disciples in an oral fashion. Later a portion of that Tradition was written down.  That's what we know today as Sacred Scripture.

The Church then revealed to us more of this sacred deposit of information by continuing to write down more and more, until we have what we know today as the Catechism.  Isn't it interesting that many Christian denominations reject all of the other things outside of scripture?  Even when scripture itself declares that it is the Church that is the "pillar and foundation of truth." (1 Timothy 3:15)  John even informs us that he only wrote down some of what Jesus did "so that we might come to believe." (John 20:31)  Then he goes on to say that if anyone attempted to write down everything Jesus said or did, "the whole world could not contain those books."  (John 21:25) Yet, we try to put God in a box.. and limit His grace.  The thing is, either we believe the words of Scripture, or we don't.   If we choose to agree with only those things in the Sacred Scripture that we agree with and ignore those we don't?  Well it isn't God we are believing in, it's simply ourselves.

So what has the Church then given us?  An outpouring of grace.  The keys were given to Saint Peter who then gave them to his successor and so forth, until we have the modern day Roman Catholic church.   Does it look exactly like the first century church?  No.   It has been influenced by men over the centuries, but it still has that divine rudder, that steers man who leads it.   In fact, if you read the writings of Justin Martyr you can see the echoes of the Mass as we know it today, sometimes even verbatim.  Here is where we believe that the Holy Spirit has preserved our Church that the 'gates of hell may not prevail against it.' (Matthew 16:18)  That even though men are involved and make mistakes, and boy have we made them, the Holy Spirit will protect His Church and continue to guide us.

How then do you and I get access to this grace?  It's freely given in the Sacraments.  These are the Ordinary means by which we receive the grace of God.   The Church in it's infinite wisdom has seen that when you are properly disposed to receive God's grace, when you are truly repentant of your sins, and you come to the Church asking God to forgive you and change you; then through the very words of Christ himself amazing things will happen!  Bread will become flesh, wine will become blood, and sinners will become Saints.  Don't get me wrong.. the Church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for Saints.   Every man and woman who walk through those doors has sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  The thing is though, with God all things are possible... even a sinner like me can be used by him to be transformed and to help go forth to transform the world.

How though?   By discerning our vocation, by discerning God's call, by asking Him first and foremost what He wants of us.   We do that again, through Grace.

The Holy Spirit is "the principle of every vital and truly saving action in each part of the Body." He works in many ways to build up the whole Body in charity: by God's Word "which is able to build you up"; by Baptism, through which he forms Christ's Body; by the sacraments, which give growth and healing to Christ's members; by "the grace of the apostles, which holds first place among his gifts"; by the virtues, which make us act according to what is good; finally, by the many special graces (called "charisms"), by which he makes the faithful "fit and ready to undertake various tasks and offices for the renewal and building up of the Church."  (CCC 798)

Just like Christ himself, who is both fully God and fully man, the Church is both divine and human.  We make mistakes, and we should be willing and ready to call ourselves on it.   Yet, the moral teachings, the dogmas of the Church, have never been wrong.  They call out to us of a divine origin, of a Sacred Deposit, of a treasury and storehouse filled with mercy, love, and justice.   The Chair of Peter has that key, and he has declared it open in this year of mercy.   Why not step forward and let that Grace wash over you?  Let God fulfill that prayer that Jesus prayed over his disciples in you today, Let him consecrate you in Truth!  Jesus is that truth, the Eternal Word of God.   He'll never force you into a relationship though.. he'll never make you do anything you don't with your own free will choose to do.. so make that choice today.. to step forward and say, "God I am ready for a true relationship with you, guide me through your Church, through your Sacraments, and through your Word, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, One God, Eternal in the Heavens."  

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Don't You Want Somebody to Love?

“For me to be a saint means to be myself. Therefore the problem of sanctity and salvation is in fact the problem of finding out who I am and discovering my true self.” – Thomas Merton

A reflection on the
readings for Daily Mass 2016-2-23

This quote from Thomas Merton continues to present itself to me during this time in the desert.  Society does not want us to find out who we are.  Rather, society expects us to become a clone, to fit the mold.  We seem to teach the opposite don't we?  Our children are informed that they must accept every person for who they are, and to avoid bullying.  Those are both noble gestures and at the same time something that can be misinterpreted.  It seems to have been taken to an exceptional level through which we truly mean 'don't judge my behavior.'  Everything seems to be game as long as it doesn't hurt someone else directly.  We seem to want to avoid that discussion though in which we begin to define what might happen indirectly, and what might happen to the person who is doing the 'doing.'

Our people have lost the concept of who they truly are.   The evil forces in the world wish us to believe that we are worthless.   That only when we conform to the same agenda as the people currently in charge will we be right, while at the same time proclaiming 'You are right, and I am right.'  We seem to have lost that notion of objective truth.   Truth exists outside of us.  It is not something that we determine, it just is.   That's a hard pill to swallow in an extremely secular society that rejects the notion of anything outside of self.  The thing is, if we examine it with reason and logic we find that there is a truth, there are things which we would never say were right no matter who was doing them.  Rape, abortion, incest, murder, theft, adultery.   All societies at all times have seen that these things are bad, to the point that in the teaching of the Apostles (the Didache) things like abortion are mentioned specifically.

The problem is authenticity.  Where is your heart?  Jesus reminded us that where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:21)  For the Jewish audience the heart was the central core of the man ,what made him who he is.  What you desire, what you work for, where you spend your time and your money... that is your desire. That is your God... your idol.. the thing which you worship.   We can fall into that error easily.  We can place everything before God... our work, our hobbies, our religion, even our families.  It's only when we discover who we truly are, when we discover the human that we are created to be, can we ever hope to put things aright.  How do we know though what God created us to be?  Adam and Eve were created perfectly but then came The Fall.   Since then we've suffered from concupiscence, from our own lusts and desires, from a tendency to do that which feels good and seems good regardless of the consequences.  How then can we learn who we are?  Can we learn the truth?

First and foremost, by spending time with God.   God has revealed himself to us in the fullness of one person, in Jesus Christ.  Faith is not just a blind obedience.  It is a relationship.  It's a method of learning not only who Jesus Christ is, but rather also learning who we are.  Each of us in created in his image.  Yet, just like every marriage.. what works for one relationship, doesn't always look the same in the other, but they definitely can both be loving.  God doesn't want you to give up your uniqueness.  He doesn't want you to become a robot, a person who only does what everyone else does, but rather someone who expresses their unique individuality in the fullness of who they are.  You are created for good.   Genuflecting at mass, is a good.   Why though? That's what we need to learn.  So that when you understand your faith, when you understand the actions, words, and deeds that are asked of you.. you can choose them from your own intellect, choose them on your own, and perform them as an authentic you.

That's what the problem was with the Pharisees.   Jesus does not condemn their teaching.  He even reaffirms that they sit on the throne of Moses.  He doesn't say 'find a new church, or make your own... if your teacher is a hypocrite?  Find a new one, or become your own Pope.'  No, Jesus tells us do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their example.  Jesus says choose good!  Be authentic!  Don't just go through the motions.  Learn the motions... ask why.... then choose which is good and reject that which is evil.  It does not mean that for one person being called to chastity is good, but for another it is not.. being called to chastity is always a good!  It means though that how you express that, how you live that.. looks different based on who you are, your vocation, and your personality.

You are made in the image of God!  You are off infinite worth! St. Therese recorded these thoughts just to remind the rest of us how much God loved us.  One of her favorite things was the snow.   She wanted it to snow on the day of her vows, she desired it with all of her heart.   She says:

That January day, the weather was so mild, snow seemed unlikely. However, upon returning to the cloister, the first thing that struck my eye was the statue of ‘the little Jesus’ smiling at me from the midst of flowers and lights. Immediately afterwards my glance was drawn to the snow: the monastery garden was white like me! What thoughtfulness on the part of Jesus! Anticipating the desires of his fiancée, He gave her snow. Snow! What mortal bridegroom, no matter how powerful he may be, could make snow fall from heaven to charm his beloved?”

Do you realize that?  That's your worth!  God loves you how you are, but too much to leave you there.  He loves you enough to do anything for you, to bring you to his love.. to bring you to the good.  The Pharisees were doing a lot of good things... but their hearts weren't in it.. they weren't in love with God... they were in love with just the Law.  The law isn't a bad thing.. the bible isn't a bad thing... but there is so much more... there is a person, Jesus Christ.  Are you in love with him? Or just the thought of him?  As we journey through Lent that is what we should be aiming for.. to fall in love for the first time.. or fall in love all over again.. with that person who created the entire universe just for us... just for you.. just for me.... If only one of us believed, if only one of us would have been saved... he would have gone to the cross for just that one lost sheep.... Let the shepherd come get you, and then rest on his shoulders as he carries you into an authentic relationship.. a true love... eternal in the heavens. God is calling us to set things right and then to trust in him as he washes us white as snow.

That is how much he loves you.. the question is... how much do you love him?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Supreme Court Decision

It's been an interesting few days.  We've seen the supreme court decide for the entire nation an issue
of morality.  Forcing states (regardless of voters opinion in those states) to accept something they may or may not approve of.  For many that's a hard thing to swallow.  Tempers are high.  Families are fighting among one another. People are spitting on Priests.  In several celebratory parades people mocked Jesus Christ himself, and attacked Christians in effigy.

So how do we as Christians respond?  We live our vocation.  It is time for us to step up and be the men and women we claim to be.  Imperfect, broken, but forgiven.  We pray.   We love.  We remain chaste to our calling in life.   We call people to Christ by our actions as well as our words.   It is not a time for anger or berating.  Rather its a time for peace, joy and love.

The Supreme court decision does nothing to redefine what we morally believe to be the real, revealed truth of God.  So we raise our families.   We stay true to our spouses.   We live our lives as Catholics. That means a sacramental life.   It's time to start receiving those channels of grace and putting them to work.  When we do something wrong, it's time to get to confession.   When we are having a rough day, it's time to get to communion.  We need to start praying as families, as husbands and wives, as single men and women.   We need to sanctify the day to the Lord, hour by hour.  Take up a rosary, the Divine Office, or just speak to God!

Live your calling.  Live it with love, peace and joy.  Let people see that you are the person you claim to be.  Do not condone sin, but always treat it with the gloves of mercy and love.  Every single one of us is a sinner.  We all have things in our closet that we are not proud of.  We are forgiven, and so we forgive.  We pray for the other, as we would pray for ourselves.  Above all, we pray His will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven.

-Brian

How can church Doctrine help me grow closer to God?

How Can Accepting the Doctrine of the Church help you come closer to God?

As a convert to the Catholic faith, the organic nature of the development of doctrine is something that I have experienced first hand.  During my formative years I began to do what is most common in the Protestant denominations; that is I began to church shop.  Many protestants are taught that the bible is the sole authority of their faith, and that they should continue looking for a church until they find one that teaches the bible and only the bible.  The problem then becomes whose version of interpretation is the correct one? Who is the authority who has the final say in interpretation? The Holy Spirit of course is the answer, but in the physical world we also have to have someone speaking via the Holy Spirit to make decisions in matters of  faith.

One of my first memorable experiences of this sort of process in action was in a church in rural southwest Virginia.  As the preacher began his sermon for the day, he began talking about another preacher from a different church and condemned him for smoking tobacco.  He talked about how it was bad for the body and that scripture had clearly shown that our body was a temple, and that smoking was desecrating that temple.  He kept preaching into a fevered pitch and paused just long enough to spit his ambeer into the cup.  This man of God had just been preaching about the sinful use of smoking tobacco while clearly chewing tobacco himself. I began to look for another church.

My next experience of this sort of doctrinal formation was in a Pentecostal style church where they were very animated and vibrant. They began to argue though shortly after I arrived about the necessity of one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit, glossolalia. One of the more prominent ministers argued that one must indeed speak tongues in order to be saved.  The pastor began to refute that argument with scripture and indicated that while it was indeed a sign of being saved, there were other gifts of the spirit and that speaking in tongues was not required of every single person. A few weeks of arguing back and forth, during church service mind you, and they decided to go their separate ways. So one minister who disagreed with the preacher, along with all those who agreed with him, formed his own church just a few miles away.   Now we had two separate churches just a few miles apart that agreed in every issue but one, but both would point to the other and say that they were going to hell. I again began to look for another church.

After a while I settled down in a small church of the non-denominational variety, where they preached 'the bible' and studied it quite often together. The Pastor seemed to be a very nice fellow who gave a very good sermon, and they often had visiting singers and preachers who would get the congregation 'stirred'.  Everything here seemed to be right on the mark, they talked about hell, gave altar calls, shared scripture in snippets just like always.  In Sunday school they had us memorize the 23rd Psalm and various bible verses that we should be able to speak at a moments notice. Then one day before Christmas, the pastor began to preach against Santa, and instead of sharing the Christmas story and God's love for us.. it became a tirade about how Santa was truly from Satan.  Each holiday became just the same, the Easter Bunny next, then Halloween. Eventually it was that time again, I began to look for another church.

One day, shortly after I began to really research the Catholic church at the insistence of my wife, I stumbled upon a verse that I had read many, many times in the past. “Then said Jesus to the crowds and to his disciples, 'The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat;  practice and observe whatever they tell you, but not what they do; for they preach, but do not practice.'”  Here in Jesus own words was a verse telling me not to simply walk away and search for another church every time they did not agree with me. So I began to ask myself, which church is it that Jesus established? How can I know? What do they teach?

After many years of study and fighting the call of the Holy Spirit to become Catholic, I knew that it was here that I needed to be. It was only here that we had the seat of St. Peter, from whose authority the bishops and priests receive their anointing. It was here that we have the church with the power to bind and loosen.  It was here that we have the sacraments as Jesus himself initiated them. It was only in the Catholic church that I would find the fullness of faith, the teachings of the Apostles and of the Holy Spirit himself.

So how do those teachings help me to grow closer to God? For the last two thousands years men much smarter than myself have been studying, philosophizing, agreeing and disagreeing about various questions that I myself have seen others speaking about and arguing about.   Many of these have been put into documents, encyclicals, and into the Catechism of the church. By the guidance of the Holy Spirit many of those very questions that I have seen protestant churches splitting over, have already been answered and cemented as Dogma. Not only can I find the answers when there is a disagreement, but I can find the documents and biblical verses that back up those teachings as well. By following Catholic doctrine I have freed myself from a world where two men can split an entire congregation into two separate bodies; and joined myself to a church, that guided by the Holy Spirit, instead tries to keep the body of Christ as One Body.

The doctrines, teachings, and dogmas of the church also help me to find aspects of God that help me to further understand the mystery of his incarnation, of the trinity, and of the Sacraments. Through each of these wonderful teachings and writings on those teachings, I can further understand who God is, what God did for me, and how I can live to better please God.  I also have access to the treasure of the doctors of the church who have expounded in words much more eloquent than my own matters that sometimes seem very difficult to understand. As St. Peter said, “There are some things in them hard to understand, which the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they do the other scriptures.”  By finding the church, guided by the Holy Spirit, lead by the seat of Peter himself, I have found the key to understanding those scriptures.  I have found the source which will allow me to further understand and further grow closer to God, to find answers to those questions and find hope and grace in the Sacraments. That hope and grace draws me closer and closer to God himself.

Oh Happy Day?

This morning was absolutely horrible. Do you know the kind of day I'm talking about? Where everything seems like it's out to get you and even the furniture is on the attack? It all began with a nice alarm blaring in my ear... apparently for over 30 minutes. As I groggily hit the snooze button I happened to glance up and see that it was closer to 7 than it was to 6. Oh no, the kids aren't up! So I quickly rush down the hallway knocking on doors as I go, and move in to wake up Moira who still needs help getting ready. No one seems to be moving. Another round of knocking 3 minutes later as I look for breakfast, snacks, getting together my clothes, planning my shower etc.

Finally after 3 tries I hear movement in the rooms and Moira is stirring enough to start getting dressed. I run downstairs to find the clean clothes I had washed the night before, pull out my outfit and a shirt for Mo and back up the stairs I go. (by run I mean a fast hectic walk that reminds the stair well that if it moves up an inch, it can stub my toe with the best of them.) So here I am stumbling with a toe that's sure to be broken, trying not to drop the clothes, when a magical lego appears out of no where and embeds itself into my flesh. Score 2 for the inanimate invaders and nothing for the dad who is running late.

My head begins to overwhelm me as I remember all things I'm supposed to do today. I need to get Moira ready, I need to get her to the bus stop, I need a shower, the dog needs to be walked before I leave, the clothes need to be put into the washer, the dishes need to be started, I need to help Butch at the church rewire some lights, it's almost time for Mass, then the prayer group, then I need to work on some homework for class, a meeting tonight for the building and grounds... we gotta get moving I remind them in a voice that's entirely too loud, entirely too angry.

Sarah and Hannah run out the door, their bus is running in less than a minute. Moira points to the basket and says "uh oh, Sarah forgot her project." Another thing in my head, a new object crams it's way into things to do... How am I going to get that to her at school? Someone is blowing their horn in the driveway, and I call back (by call I mean yell irritatingly that someone has invaded my introverted space again) 'Your ride is here!' This is followed by a slowly shuffling teenager who takes her time and calls out as if they can hear through the closed door 'I'm coming.' I begin to get irritated and mention that she should hurry, which is followed by a 'I am' as the shuffling sloth like creature begins to put on her shoes.

It all begins to bubble over as she has left and I look to see where Moira is.. and she's in the bathroom. So I knock and remind, we gotta go your bus is going to run. Followed by another 3 knocks in what seems like 10 minutes of time.. when actually it was probably about 10 seconds apart. Finally she opens the door and I notice in horror she doesn't even have her shoes on, her hairs not brushed, and I have less than a minute for the bus to run. I tell her "MOVE!" and she does, she runs into the living room, dancing around in all four cardinal directions as if she was a compass out of control, trying to find her shoes. Dear God help me, she doesn't even know where they are! So we frantically look, and my phone rings. My wife is on the other end reminding me that 'Sarah needs her project for school she left it.' I snap at her, she doesn't deserve that. I hear the air break release on the bus.. we missed it.

Ah, how wonderful a day eh? You may think I'm complaining, and maybe in a way I am. Actually, this morning was beautiful. I didn't realize that when I woke up. When my toe was throbbing I was angry. When my kids weren't moving fast enough, I was irritated to no end.   When my phone rang and sang 'Oh Happy Day' to me, I was angry that it interrupted my space. When the horn beeped in the driveway I was irritated for the occupants in the vehicle who kept beeping every few seconds to remind someone they were here. How do we miss all the things in there that are from God? As I was 'stomping' my way on foot to take Moira to school, a small wind blew through my mind and God reminded me in that still small voice "It's not about YOU."

Dumbfounded. That's the word I would describe me as I stopped mid track.   As I stood there on the sidewalk and Moira caught up to me and I realized I had made my day all about me. I apologized to her for being frazzled and we walked together and she began to talk to me. She began to point out this house or that, this flower or that, this bus and where it was going, etc. I realized she hadn't been talking.. how could she? We were walking at the fastest pace my broken body can handle, and I wasn't really giving her a chance to see anything.

I took her to school, and we got there before the bell rang and I began to walk on towards the other school to drop off the project. At this point I'm not in a hurry anymore. A friend stops and asks if I need a ride, my mind for a second says 'you can still make it to mass, you can make it to work on the lights, forget the project, get in and go!'  I realize quickly that in doing that my friend who is lector for daily mass today would miss it if she gave me a ride. Thanks, but I'm gonna be a while I say, and tell her to go on. It's not about me.  It's now about God.  I need to spend more time listening. So I walk on.

So I open my eyes around me. The barking dogs yapping at me, the squirrels and their nuts, the trees and their blossoms and fading flowers, the elderly gentleman walking his pup, the birds in the trees, and the wind in the leaves. I walk on and back home, all the while thinking what a blessing I had this morning. The bible warns us in sacred scripture that our tongue has the power to curse and bless, and it should only be blessing. Jesus also reminds us that what comes out of our heart is what makes a man unclean. With that in mind, our thoughts can be a blessing and a curse too, they can take a moment in which we can see the finger prints of God... and instead we see only the dust. (Think of a CSI show, how they dust the surfaces to find finger prints.. our lives are dust... but if we look at where the ashes fall, we can find the finger prints of God on the surface.)

Curse: I woke up this morning to a blaring alarm clock.
Blessing: I woke up.

Curse: No one is up yet.
Blessing: Everyone was soundly asleep and resting.

Curse: having to get clean clothes from downstairs
Blessing: we have clothes.

Curse: Moira doesn't have her shoes on.
Blessing: We get to walk together and chat this morning.

Curse: Sarah forgot her project.
Blessing: I get to serve my family by living my vocation, I can take it to her.

Curse: the phone rings interrupting me
Blessing: the phone serenades me with 'Oh Happy Day' followed by the melodic beauty of my wife's voice.


We forget that everyday life sanctifies us. Living our vocation, our calling, can be the most holy thing we can do.. if we allow it to be such. We parents are called to serve. We often think of service as only when we go to church to wire a light, clean a floor, or lector at the Ambo. But service includes those at home as well. We often treat them worse than we would a complete stranger. We are hypocrites. Everyone of us. But we can do better. We can do it one day at a time. One blessing at a time. One walk at a time.

In Christ,
Brian