I have just returned with my fellow pilgrims from a three day Ignatian silent retreat in Saint Louis. There is something amazing about avoiding using your voice to communicate for several days, especially when you’re someone like me who speaks entirely too much. (click the link to read more)

July 9, 2017

Fourteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time

Lectionary: 100

ZEC 9:9-10

PS 145:1-2, 8-9, 10-11, 13-14

ROM 8:9, 11-13

MT 11:25-30

I have just returned with my fellow pilgrims from a three day Ignatian silent retreat in Saint Louis.   There is something amazing about avoiding using your voice to communicate for several days, especially when you’re someone like me who speaks entirely too much.  While the retreat has moments in which you can freely share in fellowship, for the majority of those 60+ hours we avoid speaking and attempt to listen.   The last time we went on this journey was powerful, this time I felt God sweeping me away in a current reminiscent of the mighty Mississippi whose banks we had the privilege of meditating on.   I feel already that I will be going again next year for this time of reflection.

By all standards, it is the perfect weekend.   A private room with a private bath area.  Someone else planning and cooking every meal.  Free snacks, lemonade, and coffee available twenty-four hours a day.    An immaculate, rolling hillside with scenic overviews, life-size stations of the cross, and meditative statues and artwork.   Two different chapels in which to spend time with Jesus in the sacramental presence.  Mass daily along with access to confession and anointing.  No distractions, just peace, and solitude.  I found myself often on a specific overlook staring out at the river and listening to the birds and animals move through the trees below.  Even the rumbling of the passing train below was soothing and familiar.

For those of you who remember last year and its lack of deer for me, the next detail will make sense.   As we arrived, before we even turned into the property, a young doe stepped out of the trees and greeted us.  I saw her, or at least another very like her, several times throughout the weekend.  A red fox often greeted us early in the morning.  A squirrel would come close enough that some of us even said it seemed to want to be fed.    A large hawk often flew overhead.  The beauty of being in God’s creation on such an intimate level is overwhelming at times. It’s no wonder that this retreat is so powerful and moving.

In all of that, I have only grown more certain in my calling to the diaconate.  Being close to Christ in his sacramental presence, singing and praising in adoration, and joining in community prayer and Liturgy of the Hours with other aspirants, candidates, and Deacons only brought me joy and comfort.  I felt God speaking to me on a deeper level and more personal than any time in the past, and even had a day of complete dryness in which God reminded me through a brother that most great journeys begin in the desert.  This whole weekend though culminated in a stark realization.

My life is often full of hectic work and running.  I spend my days driving to do errands, deliver people to where they need to be, and other such tasks.  As a man who cannot work outside the home, my day is often filled with more than I can handle around the house.   I too often grumble and complain about all of this and how it seems to stretch me thin.   So here I am on this weekend, with no tasks that must be done.  Simply praying and living in an almost monkly fashion.   By all the standards of what a fulfilled spiritual life should be, it should have been perfect, right?  I found myself missing something though.   My wife.   My family.

Jesus in the Gospel reading talks about his yoke.   He speaks about how that his burden is easy and his yoke is light.   Then he went on to die a horrible death after being deserted by almost all of his friends, family, and followers.  He died the death of the most heinous of criminals.  Naked.  Alone.  In pain that wracked his body with each breath.   By all earthly standards, he was a failure.   Throughout his ministry, he reminded us that this, the cross, is what we too must take up.   That’s the light burden?   That’s the easy yoke?

I understand more fully now exactly what that means.  Our lives, especially for those of us living in an active life outside of the walls of a sanctuary or monastery, are not going to be easy.   They are going to be filled with random events, illness, setbacks, and weaknesses.   There will be honey do lists, work to be done, a family to support, and laundry that has to eventually be washed and put away.   Life is full of burdens.   We already have a yoke on our shoulders that religion would seem to only increase the weight of, to give more rules and obligations.  Yet, it’s supposed to be easier.  It’s supposed to be lighter.  It gets that way when we add Jesus.   It gets that way when we add love.

You see for all my complaining and moaning, for all those times that I fret over everything that needs to be done, my life is not complete without them in it.  It’s who I am.  First and foremost, I am a husband and a father.  That is not a burden to me.  Taking care of our four lovely daughters is a gift.  It’s something that makes me feel complete and fulfilled.   The love that fills my heart to overflowing each time I think of my wife and children turn those everyday tasks into gifts.   It should bring a joy to my heart to do things for them.   It should be an easy yoke that I choose, one that is filled with love.

Father Arroyo, the Jesuit Priest who led our retreat,  spoke about how that a yoke is designed for two oxen.  They work together in tandem.  He even compared it to marriage, how that when we work together we can move the family along as a wagon.  That’s a good image.  Another image that came to mind this weekend was the image of my wife and I on one side, two becoming one, and Jesus on the other side of that same yoke.   It’s when we walk with love, with the incarnate love of God, that the yoke becomes a pleasure.  It’s our own ego, our own selfishness, that prevent us from seeing that and only worrying about me, me, me.

I was meditating one night on the word harrowing.   I had this image of a plow digging into a field and smoothing over the ground, with a farmer who bent down occasionally to pick up a stone and remove it from the planting area.  I had just finished meditating on stations of the cross reflection that spoke of how the cross has to penetrate our stony hearts and break off the pieces one at a time.  That it is the cross that turns our stony hearts into fleshly ones.  In that meditation, it says the harder the stones in your heart the deeper the cross has to penetrate.  Then the image swept away into a picture of Jesus using the cross to furrow the soil of my soul.   In it, he began to pull out large stones, show them to me, and tell me what they were.  

Many of those stones were grumblings, complainings, and not recognizing the great gift that my serving my family truly is.  As each stone was removed in my mind I began to wonder what my goal was the last time I had been there.  So I flipped back to the first day of this year's retreat and looked to see how I answered the question Jesus proposed to me in the first meditation: What do you want?  “To radiate peace and joy to my family.”   Then I flipped back just one page, to the last day of the retreat in 2016.  The last line said, “I want to be the kind of man who radiates peace and joy to the world around him.”

The stones were in the way.  My friends, who if not your family, deserves to be treated with that sort of love and respect?  Service.  Jesus calls us to be servants and to take on his yoke.   That is what it means to find your vocation.   Each of us is called to something.  For some, it is marriage, to another religious life, yet another the priesthood, and still yet virgins and consecrated men and women.    You will not find your joy and peace in the easy paths of this world.   Rapture does not occur simply from giving into the pleasures and sensual nature of sin.  It is in traveling down that less-traveled path, the one you were created for, the one God calls you to each and every day, that you will find everlasting happiness.

“For if you live according to the flesh, you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.”  Saint Paul knew this all too well.   It is in disciplining our bodies, our minds, and our wills that we find peace.  Even in small matters, we must grow in our ability to keep our lives on the tracks.  By avoiding that extra piece of cake, spending more time in prayer and less on the television, giving up a Saturday to spend with a family member who is alone, or reaching out to the margins of society and giving a hand to those in need;  that we find even more fulfillment than any amount of money can buy.   That’s what it means to live by the Spirit.  To attempt to make God’s will your own.

I have no doubts in my mind that God called me to be married and to live that as my primary vocation.   I also have no doubt in my mind that Jesus is calling me to be a servant to the Church as a Deacon.  My first responsibility though will always be my family.   My primary job is to help get my wife to Heaven.  That isn’t a burden.  Raising a family, taking care of them, and journey with them in hopes they can follow Christ is also not a burden.   It’s a light yoke.  One filled with love.  A love so strong it is a person.  The Holy Spirit who guides the yoke of Christ on our shoulders, and helps carry the load.   May we learn to harrow out any stone that remains in our heart, that we might be a fertile soil for Christ to plant the seeds of his kingdom in.   That is where we fill find true rest for our souls.  Heaven doesn’t have to wait for the life after this one to start being our goal or our experience, we can taste it’s fruit here and now if we just let go and let God.

His servant and yours,

Brian Mullins

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my rock, and my redeemer. - Psalm 19:14  

Just a few days ago my wife and I were sitting in the garage enjoying the evening air as the sun was beginning to set. We started listening to the Divine Office Evening Prayer on one of the apps on my phone and were reciting the responses along with it. (click the link to read more.)

June 23, 2017
Solemnity of Most Sacred Heart of Jesus
Lectionary: 170
DT 7:6-11
PS 103:1-2, 3-4, 6-7, 8, 10
1 JN 4:7-16
MT 11:25-30

Just a few days ago my wife and I were sitting in the garage enjoying the evening air as the sun was beginning to set.   We started listening to the Divine Office Evening Prayer on one of the apps on my phone and were reciting the responses along with it.  I believe both of us were reclined in the warm, moist air with our eyes closed just enjoying this moment of prayer together outside the hustle and bustle of life.   The door to the kitchen opened and out walked one of our daughters.   She realized what we were doing and sat down on a skateboard and just listened.  It was at this point that the Magnificat began to be recited.   My wife and I simply began to say it with the group of monks and nuns.    My daughter was impressed I think and mouthed “How do you know the words?”  I scrolled the phone down to where they were and handed it to her.   She finished Evening Prayer with us and we had a very powerful moment.

After our devotions were over I explained to her that we knew the words because we have been praying the Office for the most part since 2010, when we did Awakening Faith at our Parish.   A visiting Deacon was praying it when I arrived one day and I struck up a conversation.  Praying the Scripture?   That makes sense to me.   So I got a little copy of “Shorter Christian Prayer” and began.   I didn’t do it every day.  It did become a part of my life though.  The one thing it taught me about God is that to know Him, to truly know His love, and who He has made us to be requires a relationship.   It requires spending time with Him.   It requires knowing the stories and people of the Old and New Testament.  It’s very powerful to realize that the Evening Prayer recites the words of Mary, her song of thanksgiving when she was visiting Elizabeth.   That’s called the Magnificat.  

The one thing about today’s solemnity is that it focuses on the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus.  It’s all about God’s love.  His mercy, His plan to redeem us, and His death and resurrection for our sins.  It is a story about how special we are to Him.   I think to understand how special we are we have to stop thinking of ourselves as insignificant worms, made of dust and worth nothing.    Yes compared to divinity itself?   We aren’t much.   Yet, He died for us.   If it were just to save one single soul, He would have done it.   We believe that God made each of us special, unique and with a plan for our lives.  Every time I see someone say that Mary was just a box, a vessel, nothing special, I get a little upset.  If she was nothing?   Then so am I.   So are you.   Yet the Scriptures are clear: “From this day all generations will call me blessed.”   Is “you are just a worthless person” blessing her?   Do you think Jesus did not die on the cross for her as well?  Was she just discarded?  Especially in our age of enlightenment when we try to encourage people to see women as equal to men, why then do we take the mother of God and run her through the mud as just another box?

That’s not love.   My wife was not just a box for my children.   She was someone special that I chose out of all the possibilities and who also had a choice and chose me.   Mary is the flesh that the Sacred Heart of Jesus came from.   We don’t worship her, but we do honor her.   We honor her for the role she played.   The choice she freely made.   The pain and suffering she went through that the Sacred Heart even came into existence.  So no, if Mary had said no it wouldn’t have been the same with just another person… any more than if I went back in time and never met Julie that I’d have the same kid with just another person… No.  That’s not how things work.  God had a plan for her before He made her, just like He had one for us.  Just like with Israel, He chose Her because He loved her.   That’s what the Sacred Heart is about.   It’s about reminding us that God loves each and every one of us completely and fully.   That the heart of Jesus still beats in Heaven and in the Tabernacle for us.  It aches for our completion, for our own hearts and souls to cry out with Mary “My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, My spirit rejoices in God my Savior.”  Are you ready to give in and realize how much He loves you?  Are you ready to choose love?   To remain in love that Love might remain in you?

It is when we let go of the burdens of this world, close our eyes in the rapture of the moment, and simply rest in the knowledge of this truth that we take on the yoke of Christ.   That does not mean that things have magically gotten better at the moment.  It doesn’t mean that life won’t be hard when we stop resting in His arms and walk back to whatever task that we have at hand.  The relationships that were broken seconds ago are not magically restored.  Our soul though is filled with Him and He remains with us.   That’s what the Sacraments are about.   That’s what prayer is about.  You are special.  God chose you because He loves you and wants to be a part of your life.  He gave you a spiritual family of Saints and Angels to help you get through this world and a Church to open channels of grace into your life that you could better resist those things that harm you and pull you away from Him.  Then He died on the cross because that was the price of our failures.  Let God take up those burdens that are weighing you down, and begin to follow His lead and keep His commandments.  Take it one moment at a time, one step at a time, and realize it’s when you are weakest that He carries you.

His servant and yours,

Brian Mullins

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my rock, and my redeemer. - Psalm 19:14

To Turtle or not to Turtle?

A Reflection on the readings for Tuesday of the Fifteenth Week of Ordinary Time: July 12th, 2016

Isaiah 7:1-9
Psalm 48
The Holy Gospel According to Saint Matthew 11:20-24


When we are surrounded by evil our fearful instinct is often to close in on ourselves.  After the attacks on the World Trade Center on September 11th, 2001, all of the gas stations closed and even the man I worked for sent us home out of fear that other things would happen.  Here the Israelites in the first reading were surrounded by their worst and strongest enemies and they trembled and quaked.  Just recently our country has experienced another set of crimes and people have reacted with fear, telling their kids to stop going around cops out of fear of both the cops and those who would hurt them.  Drawing in like a turtle to protect our own seems to be the default for humanity.

The Psalm reminds us though that if God is the one building the city then there is no need to fear.   That when He is with us we are protected by His strong right arm.  When we trust in God we don't close in on our selves, we might proceed with caution but we proceed with confidence in knowing that man can never do anything to our immortal soul.  We reach out with love to both those who are hurting enough to harm the ones they fear are the enemy, and those who are completely innocent and caught in the middle of a struggle they did not start.  It requires though that God be the one in control.

In this message there is a sense that we as a nation must return to God.  We have removed prayer from our schools.  Taken down any religious imagery that might 'offend' someone.  Relegated religion to the inner corners of the Sanctuaries behind closed doors and told God He is a thing that only need be addressed on Sunday.  In doing so we have made love, the primary focus of the Christian ideal, something that also hides behind those doors.  It is in returning to God that we as a nation can bring that love back out of those doors and into the very hearts of those who need it the most.

Change, though, begins in me.  The Scriptures tell us that if the builders labor to build the temple, then in vain do it's builders labor.  After coming back from this silent retreat, even knowing the things I know, I've been trying to rebuild myself into the man I felt God calling me to be on the retreat.   I got very frustrated yesterday when I realized that I was failing to do just that.  It's because I need Him to do it with me.  I do have to work on it, I have to try.. but over all I must do it in conjunction with Him, not by myself, and not Him alone.   Not because He needs me to do anything, but because that is how He chose to do things... with us and through us.  So we start with that, man building with God, building himself into the man God has made Him to be.  Then out into the world we go living the life He has designed us for that others might also be drawn to Him.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Oh my, what I must have missed.....

A sunset I encountered on a bike ride just recently. 

A reflection on the daily readings for Friday, June 17, 2016.

2 Kings 11:1-4, 9-18, 20
Psalm 132
Gospel of Matthew 6:19-23

The other day in a Facebook post I wrote about how much better life was now that I actually get out of the house and do things.  What many people don't know is that I used to be a hardcore gamer.   Not just the kind of who played a lot, but the kind who was consumed with the game.  I played a game called Everquest.  It wasn't the only Massive Multiplayer Online game that I played, but it was the one I played the most.  For 15 years I played this game, from the opening day in 1999 until 2015ish.  That's right, I was playing it still just a year ago.  I wasn't nearly as hardcore as I was in the early 2000's though.

I used to only think about that game.  When I was at work I was thinking of what I would be doing when I got home.  I had to be off at a certain time because I couldn't miss a 'raid.'  For a while I was one of the core players in a guild and showed up every day to make sure that things were happening.  I even got to the point where my raid attendance (that is my log in time since we went on a raid every night) was in the high 90%s.  That means that I was on 9 out of 10 days for 4-5 hours, sometimes up to 8.  I once told the person I was living with that I didn't care if the utilities were cut off, I had to have the newest expansion now!  I spent every penny I could on a computer to make sure I could play it.  I didn't think of much else, especially relationships.   It ruined them in fact.  I watched as people got divorces, broke up, new relationships were formed, and even met my future wife there.  I had to learn the hard way that I would only find peace when I took things in moderation, when I put Jesus first.  I didn't have to give up gaming, but it had to be in it's proper place. Otherwise I'd have missed that sunset up there, and many more.

It reminds me of the reading from 2nd Kings, when Athaliah found out that her son had died.  She then proceeded with a plan to kill out the rest of the royal family so that she would be in charge.   The kingdom, it's power, wealth, glory... had consumed her.   It was all she could think of.  Even to the point of killing her own grand children.  Through the providence of God though, her sister saved one of the children and took him to the temple.  Out of love she took him to where he would be safe.  That's an important lesson spiritually there isn't it?  Love means leading someone to God.  In the end, Joash, the young man who was saved, was crowned king.  Athaliah ended up dead for her treachery and evil heart.

Jesus reminds us of that kind of love in the Gospel.  He teaches us that wherever our heart is, that's where our treasure is.  On the one hand we can be like Athaliah, seeking one of those four spheres of influence: pleasure, wealth, honor, or power.  She wanted it so badly that she was willing to kill for it.   Her sister showed us the other side, love.  Sacrificing anything and even at the risk of her own life, she fought for the young man and took him where he would be safe, in the hands of God.  Anytime we put anything before God, anytime we seek power, honor, wealth, or pleasure, before seeking love;  that's when we sin.  St. Paul reminds us that the wages of sin is death.  Athaliah saw that in a very real, and powerful way.  Joash on the hand gained all four by first being taught to seek God.

We are members of a royal kingdom, brothers and sisters of the Incarnate God.  In Him we have received life.  Through our Baptism we have received the Holy Spirit to guide us and protect us.  We seek Him in our hearts, in our living Tabernacle, and also in the Tabernacle of the Church, the Eucharist.  It is in Him we find life.  Satan is our Atahaliah.  He seeks to destroy us, to bring us to sin.  When we sin seriously we destroy our relationship, just as I destroyed one many years ago over a game.  If I had been seeking God?  Who knows what might have happened.  I am still a far happier man today, but I have learned that I have to be hidden in the temple with Him to remain safe.  That doesn't mean I never leave the Church building, but it means that I take Him with me and He keeps me with Him wherever I go.

Jesus talks of the blind, those who can't see.   How that if life cannot enter the body, then darkness is there.  I also say that if one keeps their eyes and hearts fixated on something that is dark, something that leads them from God.. then their eyes will scale over with Sin, just like St. Paul and Hosea.   It is Jesus who is our light, our cure.  He is coming to us each day in the Sacraments, in the poor, in the outcast.   He wants to fill us with the light of love, to enshroud us in the armor of God, that we too might be kept safe from the evil that seeks to end our spiritual life.  That means we too need to seek Him, and to bring others with us to find Him... and just as Mary and Joseph many years ago, we will find Him in His Father's House... the Holy Catholic Church.   Are you looking for Him? Last week I prayed a serious prayer in Adoration.. I asked Jesus to take my heart with Him into the tabernacle.  To keep me always by His side, forever, and ever.  May he answer that prayer for each and every one of you, as well.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Every Heart Beat

When I was a young man I attended church at a First Baptist Church in a small town in rural Virginia.  They used to reward us for memorizing scripture.  Free pizza hut pan pizzas, candy, even money.   The very first challenge I received in youth group was to memorize the 23rd Psalm.  "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want."  I still remember sitting in my room at night opening my King James bible and closing it, reciting what I could and then repeating, until I could say the entire Psalm without fault.  That week at Wednesday night youth group I received a certificate for a free personal pan pizza.  I didn't even realize the true gift was the Psalm itself, all I wanted was free food.

Years later I find so much comfort in that Psalm.  When we pray it in the Liturgy of the Hours or sing it at the Mass it touches me in ways that I cannot express in words.  The very thought that Ezekiel expresses in the first reading for today when he says that God himself will be the one to enter into the dark, cloudy places where we have been scattered.  That He will be the one to give us rest, the one to pasture and feed us.  How apropos that the Church in her wisdom has chosen these very readings.   To remind us that even in the darkest of times God will set a table for us, and all we have to do is come in and eat.  He himself will robe us and put a ring on our fingers.  Heaven itself will rejoice at this one single sheep coming back as if they were the only one in the universe, ah how grand a party that will be!

478 Jesus knew and loved us each and all during his life, his agony and his Passion, and gave himself up for each one of us: "The Son of God. . . loved me and gave himself for me." He has loved us all with a human heart. For this reason, the Sacred Heart of Jesus, pierced by our sins and for our salvation, "is quite rightly considered the chief sign and symbol of that. . . love with which the divine Redeemer continually loves the eternal Father and all human beings" without exception.

Christ died for us while we were still sinners.  That's so powerfully important for us to understand.   It isn't about getting right first, it's about letting Him make you right.  I have heard people say "when I get more time, then I'll pray more."  Or "I'll go to adoration when I retire, I'm too busy now."   God does indeed love you exactly as you are, but too much to leave you there.   He wants the best for you.  He wants you to live that life of fullness that he created you to live.  Not a life of half truths, not one filled with clouds and darkness, but one filled with joy and peace.   That peace comes directly from a relationship with the Shepherd.   It is He who will provide you with food to pasture on, and He is indeed the very rest you seek.

"Our hearts are restless until they rest in you." - St. Augustine

God seeks us out in the darkness where we are, and He sets a feast right there before our enemies.   The thing is, that feast does not leave us unchanged.  He IS our pasture.  The incarnation, the Sacred Heart, became man that man might be transformed into that image that he was created to be.   Every day at Mass he condescends to our level, becoming what we need, sustenance.   Food.   Drink.  Bread and wine.  It is in this way that Christ pastures us.   He gives us himself to eat, the true bread from Heaven, the real Manna, greater than anything our forefather's received in the desert.   It is this very bread which gives us life, which transforms us, if we let it, into the body of Christ itself.   We become 'christ's' in the world.

That means we are challenged by this Eucharistic feast which we partake of.   Challenged to not just be pastured and find our rest, but also to go out into the world as shepherds.   To find the lost sheep and guide them to the table in the midst of their own enemies.   To point them like sign posts to the Eucharist, to the Church, to Christ himself and show them the peace and joy they can only receive in a relationship with Him.  We must feed them.  We must help them find rest.   The darkness is all around us.  Poverty, illness, abortion, moral decay....  These are just a few of the clouds and darkness that gather around our children, families, and friends.   These are the oppressions which push down the widow, the orphan, and the refugee.   Brothers and sisters, The love of God has been poured out into our hearts.  Are you ready to leave your comfort zone, and be the vessel through which God can reach the one who is lost?  Are you ready to be the living heartbeat of Christ's sacred heart, drawing others to Him through the sound of your own life?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Pick your Battles.....

Many years ago, my dad taught me a lesson that I am still learning today.   He said: "Son, sometimes you have to choose your battles."  He meant that you need to examine every situation to see if what you are about to argue about or correct someone about is worth the effort, and more importantly, the repercussions. Do you want to argue this point if it costs you a friendship?  Is what you are being upset about worth it?  As a father and step-father this advice is something I need to listen to more often.  St. Paul says in the first reading today, "Remind people of these things and charge them before God to stop disputing about words. This serves no useful purpose since it harms those who listen."  Oh how many spouses need this today, myself included?  Arguing in front of the kids instead of supporting one another is one of the worst things we can do, but doesn't it happen?  Too often I am sure.  How much more so inside our own faiths?  There wouldn't be a Protestant version of Christianity at all if this line of reasoning had been followed and things had been handled differently.

Jesus reminds us time and again that arguing among ourselves just creates division. A house divided cannot stand.  One of the greatest charges against Christians these days is "If that's how Christians act, I don't want to be one."  The other day I was walking down Washington Street here in our little town.  Two men were yelling at each other, one up on a balcony, the other on the ground.   Angry words were being exchanged riddled with vulgarity and threats.  At one point the man on the balcony yelled, "Yeah you're being real Christian aren't you."  Turns out the guy down on the ground was a minister of some sort.  Would anyone have known that by his behavior?  How often do I set that own example?  Too often I myself would be the guy on the ground, angry with the man shouting down at me, likely responding in kind.

There are though some things which are worth standing up for.   Paul, in our readings today,  also reminds us that we must "be eager to present yourself as acceptable to God, a workman who causes no disgrace, imparting the word of truth without deviation."  We cannot change the truth, we cannot alter the Gospel to go with the times or with our desires.  It is a message that does not belong to us, but rather belongs to God.   We have no right to change it and Paul is quick to say that even if an angel were to come and give you a different Gospel we should not believe it.   How then do we go about walking that line of choosing our battles but always offering the truth?  By offering the truth in love.  "They will know we are Christians by our love."  Does society see that today? Do they find us loving and welcoming? Or hateful and condemning?  We have to choose our battles for sure.  Sometimes the fight will produce no love.  Sometimes the person is not open to it, and we should leave it be.  No use "throwing pearls before swine", right? But in all things, show love.

Jesus reminds us of that in the Gospel for today.  That the greatest commandments are to love God with everything that you are, and to love your neighbor as you love yourself.   That is to want good for them, to offer good to them, to pray for good for them.  Loving someone does not always mean condoning their behavior or giving them anything and everything they want.   It does mean though being tactful.   Seeking to find the best way to reach them with an offer to know who Christ is.   Sometimes that means using our words, and other times it means using our actions.   I know, this is a perfect time to use that cliche saying attributed to Saint Francis of Assisi.. and I am going to.  "Preach at all times the Gospel, and when necessary, use words."   Just don't forget that Saint Francis used a lot of words!

2518 The sixth beatitude proclaims, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." "Pure in heart" refers to those who have attuned their intellects and wills to the demands of God's holiness, chiefly in three areas: charity; chastity or sexual rectitude; love of truth and orthodoxy of faith. There is a connection between purity of heart, of body, and of faith: The faithful must believe the articles of the Creed "so that by believing they may obey God, by obeying may live well, by living well may purify their hearts, and with pure hearts may understand what they believe."

The other thing that I think is so important about the encounter between Jesus and the Pharisee in the Gospel for today is that Jesus tells him "You are not far from the Kingdom of God."   I wonder if those men years later realized the irony of that statement.  There this man was speaking to God himself, face to face with Jesus who is the embodiment of the Kingdom of God, and his eyes were closed.  Love itself sat looking at Him and said to Him, "I am right here before you."  Then like most of us, they were scared to ask anymore questions.  How often we become dumbfounded when we realize something profound is happening in front of us.   What would you do if God were to stand before you right now, at this very moment and say "Here I am.  You are so close to being a part of my Kingdom.. just come forward and receive it."

2519 The "pure in heart" are promised that they will see God face to face and be like him. Purity of heart is the precondition of the vision of God. Even now it enables us to see according to God, to accept others as "neighbors"; it lets us perceive the human body - ours and our neighbor's - as a temple of the Holy Spirit, a manifestation of divine beauty.

It happens every day at Mass.  Christ comes down body and soul before you on the altar.  The ministers come forth and elevate this defenseless host before you, and declare "This is the body of Christ."  There it is, the Kingdom of God.. right in front of you... heaven kissing earth.   Christ offering himself to you, the fullness of love, to help you grow and become the person you are called to be.  Do we like the Pharisee of the moment sit in silence unable to ask more?  Or do we say "Here I am Lord, speak, Your servant is listening."?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Honey, You're a Shipwreck

Ash Wednesday.  Such a powerful service to attend.  To receive ashes on our forehead to remind us that form dust we come, to dust we shall return.   The Church is packed.  Isn't that intriguing?  On a normal weekend you don't find the pews that full.  At most Holy Days of obligation you find them sparse and rarely attended.  Then comes the day that reminds us that we are going to die.. and everyone comes.  There is something about that unity.   That bond.  That common ground.  A service in which everyone gets the ashes, regardless of faith or background, regardless of standing or sin.  We all march forward, we are one.  Human.  Dying.  Hoping for resurrection, but painfully aware of the need to pass through the span of a heartbeat to the gate of eternity.

Jesus reminds us in the Gospel for today that we must be authentic.  It's really about the heart isn't it?  God isn't interested in empty show or perfect rote.  He isn't interested in how much you've memorized, can quote word for word, or if you know the name of every object in the Sacristy.  He doesn't care if you're speaking Latin, Hebrew, or Arabic.  No, what he cares about is what is on the inside.  He wants to get rid of your heart of stone and replace it with one of flesh.   He loves you, and he desires that love back.  Everything you do then, he wants to be done with authentic love.  Not because you have to do this way, but because you are in a relationship and want to make the other person happy.

God says to the people in the book of the Prophet Joel, return to me with all your heart.  You know that really is an important thing about relationships, isn't it?  How important is it to have your entire heart into it?  I'm not talking about those ooey gooey feelings that sometimes come, though those are nice.   I'm talking about being 100% committed to the person you love.  I knew a guy once whose wife left him.  She came back.  During that time she was there only physically.  Sure they slept together.  They ate together.  They talked and did things with each other.  Yet, her heart was not there at all.  It was a hollow and empty relationship, her heart was always with the other man she had grown to love instead.  Their relationship never got better and eventually they divorced.  You see, the relationship was only one sided.  He was putting 100% into it, but she was giving less than all.  She was giving the actions... she just wasn't giving the heart.

No matter how we try, a relationship requires that heart felt commitment.  That choosing to love even when you don't want to.  That giving of yourself completely, even if you're angry.  Not just on the surface, but with every part of your being.  God wants us to know how much he loves us.  He talks about us as his spouse, his love, his very body.  All he asks for in return is the heart, all of it. Oh how sometimes we botch that up.  We go through the motions. 

That's what Lent is about.  It's about prayer, fasting, and almsgiving... but from the heart.  It's about giving up things that help you draw closer.  The Jewish people saw the heart as the core of what makes us human... to be fully human then is to be like God, to be like Christ.  So like Christ we go away in silence and prayer, we pray with others, we teach them to pray, we draw close to God every moment.  Like Christ we prepare ourselves for difficult times and decisions by fasting.  Like Christ we give everything we have, everything we are, both physically and spiritually for those in need.  That's what we need to do for Lent.  To give up things that are standing in the way of us having a heart of flesh.  To remove those things in the way and add those things that will mold us towards Christ. 

Yes, Ash Wednesday is just the beginning.. and Lent just a journey on the way... because we are heading to Easter.. and one of these days, all of us are going to die.  Every one of us has that in common.  Easter for us is coming.  It could be today.  It could be tomorrow.  It could be fifty years from now... it's up to us to be prepared.  40 days in the desert ahead of us, let's set our feet firmly on the right path.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Isn't that the way they say it goes?

As we continue the narrative in Daily Mass in the second book of the Prophet Samuel, we begin to see King David desiring to do something magnificent and mighty for the Lord.  In the process God begins to ask him, did I ask you to do this?   Have I ever complained?  During all this time have I ever said "Why have you not built me a house of cedar?" (2 Samuel 7:7)   It's not that David's idea was a bad one, in fact God promises him that his son Solomon would do just that.  The thing is, David's idea was the thinking of man, not the thinking of God.  David wanted to do something good... God wanted to give him something awesome, something more, something eternal.  God then goes on to promise that not only will Solomon build him a house of worship, but makes one of the most important promises in all of the history of Israel, declaring: "Your house and your kingdom shall endure forever before me; your throne shall stand firm forever." (2 Samuel 7:16)

Isn't that the way it always goes?  God has something planned for us, and we think we know better?  The thing is that God wants us to learn a simple and profound truth, that he is truly our Father.  We are a part of the most important family, the most influential, a royal kingdom that lasts forever.  The word became flesh, so that we might partake of his very own divine nature. (CCC 460)  The thing is though that we see from all of Sacred Scripture that God wants us to remember that everyone is part of this family, especially the widow and the orphan.  We as Catholics believe in a preferential option for the poor.   That is, God himself is their protector, their Father. 

Father of orphans and protector of widows

    is God in his holy habitation.

God gives the desolate a home to live in;

    he leads out the prisoners to prosperity,

    but the rebellious live in a parched land.

(Psalm 68:5-6)

We as Catholics are called to remember that at all times.  To realize that this Kingdom is made up first and foremost by those who have nothing to give in return.  That unless we are like little children, we will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven.   We see that truth proclaimed in the triumphant entry of Christ into Jerusalem on an ass.   Who greets the King of the Universe?   The children and the poor, those are the subjects of His royal kingdom.   It isn't the King and Queen, the wealthy aristocrat who comes to scatter palms and sing Hosanna, but rather the poorest members of society who rejoice at his arrival. (CCC 559) Jesus entry into Jerusalem itself mad manifest that Kingdom which David was promised, the eternal Kingdom, completely revealed to us in his death, resurrection and ascension into Heaven.

Our Gospel reading then goes on to give us a parable to help us understand this Kingdom that he has come to bring about.  Jesus does a great deal of teaching in parables.  He doesn't explain it to everyone, rather he spends time explaining it to his disciples.  The Church has long held that the reasoning for this is because of the nature of their teaching office and mission.   How could they teach what Jesus taught, without understanding it?  Then he promised to send the Holy Spirit to remind them of his words, and to help them further spread this kingdom to the ends of the earth.  (John 14:16-17,  John 14:26)   That's one of the things about our faith.  It's difficult to understand Christianity without being an 'insider.'  For those who stay outside of the mystery, those who never experience Christ, everything remains enigmatic.   When I first began to study the Catholic church, that word Mystery... infuriated me.   It was only as I drew closer, began to ask God to teach me, began to truly listen to His guidance and approach it with an honest heart and open mind... that I began to see that it is truly a mystery.. because God is more than any human mind can comprehend.  

This parable of his reminds us that we are all called to discipleship.  We have been given the gift of the Word.  It has been planted into our hearts.  Our souls call out to be filled with Him.  St Augustine said, "our heart is restless until it rests in you."  (CCC 30)   We must realize though, that call demands a response.  It demands a choice.  We can be like the person who simply lets it be snatched from our grasp.  We don't want to know.  We don't want to choose.  We just walk away.  We can be the person who is on fire for a time, but then some trial comes along.. some suffering... and we want nothing to do with God.   We can be a true disciple, we can nourish that seed through prayer, through meditation, through the Sacraments... until it begins to grow and overflow... changing not just ourselves but the world around us. 

We often forget how beautiful and glorious a gift the Eucharist is to us.  The Catechism says that "This Sacramental celebration is a meeting of God's children with their Father, through Christ and the Holy Spirit. (CCC 1153).    Mass is a family reunion.  It is a moment where God himself is made present.  It has been said that at Mass, heaven kisses earth.  Think about that for a moment.  Heaven does not become part of the earth, but you and I are lifted up to be a part of heaven.  We receive Jesus that just as he became man, that we might become more like God... he becomes bread, that we might consume him and be transformed... to be drawn into that divine life... that eternal life.   The Catechism goes on to say that these "liturgical actions signify what the Word of God expresses: both his free initiative and his people's response of faith." 

Faith demands a response.  Mass is the start of the response.  Our actions, our words, our communion... they are a sign that we are soil ready to be prepared.   Even if we have rocks and briars, we are opening ourselves to the greatest Farmer in the universe... through His Sacramental presence he will prepare us.  Do you think of that when Jesus said I go to prepare a place?  Well he does indeed do that.  I also believe, that through receiving Him here and now... we can begin to prepare a place in our hearts.. a dwelling place... a temple for God himself to live inside us.  Heaven is not just then.. it is through all of time and space... and it can be right now. 

This parable shows Jesus coming as the final prophet, the prophet par excellence.  He comes to give us a message that just like his predecessors.. some will reject, some will follow for a time and then fall away, some will never water or take care of, never encourage, and some will be fertile soil.  Isaiah declared:

so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;

    it shall not return to me empty,

but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,

    and succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

(Isaiah 55:11)

Jesus is the Word of God, the Word that was spoken to create all of the universe.  Not a thing was made that was not made for him, and through him.  (John 1:3) That Word is being spoken to you, right now.   There is only one thing that can stand in it's way.. you.  A light never casts a shadow, unless something is in it's way...  So what kind of soil are you?  Are you a mirror reflecting the light of Christ for the whole world to see?  Or a bushel basket trying to hide it through your words and actions?   He is there, waiting for you in the Sacraments.. he doesn't expect you to be perfect, he doesn't ask you to wait until your life is put back together.. no, he wants you to come now.  Come to see him in Confession, then go forth and sin no more.  Let him turn you into a fertile soil, that His Word might bloom in your heart.. and together we (The Body of Christ) can change the world.

We have work to do!   Let's begin by being more like God and reaching out to those he chose as the first in his Kingdom.  The poor, the widow, the orphan, the alien.   They need us, and guess what... we need them.  If we start there, God himself will build an eternal dwelling, a house not made with hands, eternal inside you.

His servant and yours,
Brian

What is Christianity without death?

A Reflection on the Readings for
December 26, 2015 - The Feast of Saint Stephen

The Day after Christmas we go from celebrating life, to celebrating death.  Isn't that a strange dichotomy?  One morning we are celebrating the birth of Christ into the world.  The image of a newborn child swaddled and nestled in a manger of hay or the arms of Mary the Mother of God give people a warm, fuzzy feeling.  Who doesn't love to look on the face of a cooing child?  People who often do not want anything to do with religion or faith are quick to join in worship on Christmas and Christmas Eve because this is what we want out of our faith.  That's obvious by the church shopping that goes in our culture...  You don't like the message? Keep moving around till you find one you do.

That's not Christianity though.  The church reminds us in this one simple setting of dates that Christianity began with the birth of a child, but it ends with death and resurrection.  The life of a Christian is not supposed to be a bed of roses.  It's not supposed to be all cooing and love.  It's messy.  It's hard.  It requires sacrifice, blood, sweat and tears.  It requires a cross.  Christianity without the cross is neutered.  It has no message. It has no death.  It has no resurrection.

Stephen knew this.   He went out into the square and he faced the people.  As a Deacon of the church he served at the tables.   He ventured into the public square doing his duty, that is making sure that all of God's people had what they needed.  He was a servant.  Feeding, distributing, helping.   The people who disagreed with him sought him out.   They looked for him to debate.   They followed him around trying to argue.  Stephen responded with logic, reason, and rational responses.   This made them angry.  Have you seen that before?   Someone wants to argue a point, you give them an answer they cannot refute.. they get angry?  They change to another point instead of acknowledging they were wrong?  In this case he had a vision and when he expressed this manifestation to the crowds.. the mobbed him, dragging him out of the city and stoned him.

Stephen was the first Martyr for Christ after His resurrection.  It's interesting to note though that Stephen prayed for his persecutors.  And he knelt down and cried with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”  In a perfect example of his love, in perfect imitation of His Lord and Savior from the Cross, Stephen prayed for their souls as they murdered him.  Stephen died with love.  No hate in his heart for those beating and stoning him.  No desire for revenge.  Simply loving them, even more than his own life. 

That's Christianity my friends.  Look at the fruits of his prayer?   Stephen in his love prayed for the men standing around.   We don't know what happened to all of them.  We do know that one young man, a certain Saul of Tarsus, eventually came to conversion and became one of the most influential Christians of the first century.  They threw rocks of stone, Stephen volleyed back boulders of love.  Saul consented to Stephen's death, Stephen consented to Saul's conversion and salvation.   Wow! Are you ready for that cross? 

That's what this Feast challenges us to do.   It challenges us to face the reality of Christianity.   It begins with taking up your own cross.   It starts with looking at your heart.   Are there any stony places left?  Are there any grudges you are still holding?  Any forgiveness that was supposed to be given that you are still gripping with white knuckled fists?  Today is the day to let Christ be born again into your heart, to stand up in the public square and let His Spirit give you the words you need to say.  Many times we don't know how to forgive... we don't know the right words to say.. we can't even describe it...  That's when we must turn it over to Him.  Let the Spirit speak them for you.. pray for the grace to forgive.. the grace to pray for them, no matter what the hurt...  Today.  Tomorrow may be too late. 

His servant and yours,
Brian