Today, in the first reading, we witness one of the pivotal moments in Salvation History. Here we have Abraham journeying to the top of a mountain the middle of the desert to sacrifice his only son to God. (Click the link to read more)

July 6, 2017

Thursday of the Thirteenth Week in Ordinary Time

Lectionary: 380

GN 22:1B-19

PS 115:1-2, 3-4, 5-6, 8-9

MT 9:1-8

Today, in the first reading, we witness one of the pivotal moments in Salvation History.  Here we have Abraham journeying to the top of a mountain the middle of the desert to sacrifice his only son to God.    This was a common thing among the various religions of the time and it was believed that somehow sacrifice, especially human sacrifice, could bridge the rift between God and man and soothe an angry deity.  Abraham trusted in God to provide even from the start of the journey.  Did he believe God would raise Isaac from the dead?  Or that God would provide the ram from the very beginning?  Either way he trusted God enough to follow through with His instructions, to the point of having to be stopped by an Angel.  God showed us in this simple moment that obedience and faith were more powerful than any offering they have to give on their own.

Then fast forward in the Gospel to the time of Jesus.  At this point in time, people have come to believe that the sicker you are, the greater your sins.  The paralytic, the outsider, the leper; all of these would be the darkest of sinners.  Their destination was as far from God as possible and they would be avoided at all cost.  Jesus does something greater than any miracle we have witnessed so far, He heals the man's souls and forgives his sins.  The Jewish teachers gathered around were unable to comprehend what was going on.   So Jesus gave them a sign that would make it completely clear to them.  He healed the physical ailment.  This was proof that the sins were no longer there, as they were no longer manifested in the man as sickness, but rather he was now whole physically and spiritually.

We often forget that miracle occurs every day in the Church.   So many outside the faith and even many of those inside have lost sight of what Confession is really about.   Just look at the response of the people gathered around Jesus as they marvel that “God who had given such authority to men.”  Then we see Jesus send forth His disciples after breathing the Holy Spirit on them and declaring they are to forgive sins.  That’s what our Church is still doing today.  The successors of the Apostles have passed that authority on by laying of hands in direct lines that are traceable back to Jesus Himself.  We are so tied up in finding physical miracles, and yes they are still out there, that we forget the most powerful ones that occur right here every day in the Sacraments.   Jesus forgives the sinner and restores him to the community and then offers himself to them in the form of bread and wine that they might be strengthened for the journey.   

Do we take time each day to realize what a gift we’ve been given?  Are you struck with Awe at the amazing Gift that is the Church?   Do you glorify God for the forgiveness of sins and the gift of eternal life?  

His servant and yours,

Brian Mullins

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my rock, and my redeemer. - Psalm 19:14  

One of the hardest lessons to learn is that in order for things to change one person in a conflict has to be the adult and stop the cycle. (Click the Link to Read More)

June 19, 2017
Monday of the Eleventh Week in Ordinary Time
Lectionary: 365
2 COR 6:1-10
PS 98:1, 2B, 3AB, 3CD-4
MT 5:38-42

One of the hardest lessons to learn is that in order for things to change one person in a conflict has to be the adult and stop the cycle.  Paul today talks about the kind of things that happen to people in this world.  Paul had suffered so many things at the hand of others.   Thrown into prison, beaten during riots, even left for dead after stoning at one point.   Paul shows us that while these things are intended to silence us, they don’t obscure the image of Christ in us but further reveal it.   It is our response to persecution that shows who we truly are.   I need to learn this lesson as much as anyone else.  I often pray the prayer attributed to Saint Francis that says “May I not seek so much to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love.”    Then on the same day, I’ll get annoyed if someone doesn’t pay attention to me or if they seem thoughtless or narcissistic.  

The funny thing is we often makes things self-centered, even when I worry about the vanity of others, it is me that I am thinking of.   When we read the Bible we often have that in our heads too.   We try to read it based on what we already know, what we believe, what we feel.  God wouldn’t do that because I wouldn’t!   The same with Jesus today when He speaks about the Old Testament rule of an “eye for an eye.”   Many today read this in light of popular politics and socioeconomic standards as some sort of endorsement for revenge.   What we have to do is look at the standards of the time in which they were written.   The people of that time were warring, tribal nations that were violent and explosive.  An eye for an eye was not a rule to allow revenge, but one to cap violence at a standard.   If you took my tooth, it wasn’t permission for me to take your tooth, but a prohibition for me that I couldn’t knock out all your teeth or kill you.   Its intent was to show love, to reform a world of violence and revenge.

Jesus takes this further.   He shows that the intent of the law wasn’t just to lower violence or cap it at a certain level but to seek reconciliation between God and man.   It was forgiveness.  Jesus reminds us that true change begins inside.   It isn’t in spending all our time looking at what someone else is doing.   Rather, we are to be spending time with Jesus in the Sacraments and in our personal prayer life that we might grow to be the kind of person that forgive slights so powerfully that He would hang on a cross naked while others gambled over His earthly possessions.   That’s where the power of God shows forth from us.   The Spirit we received in Baptism is most powerfully displayed when love and forgiveness emanate from us as we carry our own cross toward our own Cavalry.  The world may try to hide that Spirit you have been infused with but it’s still there, it’s up to us to make our life Christocentric (Christ at the center) rather than anthropocentric (man at the center, self, ego).

His servant and yours,

Brian Mullins

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my rock, and my redeemer. - Psalm 19:14

Teen Angst and Broken Glass.

A Reflection on the daily readings for Monday, June 20th, 2016.

2 Kings 17:5-8, 13-15a, 18
Psalm 60
The Gospel According to Matthew 7:1-15

My mother and dad were good to me growing up.  Father's day reminded me of that.  To look back and see exactly what it was like growing up.  They were always there for me and gave me gifts other kids did not even have.  Most of my friends didn't have a car.  I had several that I was allowed to choose from to use.  I often took that for granted.  There was this one time that my mother asked me to take the garbage to the dump.   This was before curb side pickup for the whole county.  Back then they used to have a dumpster down by the bridge that crosses the lake.  I was so angry!  I wanted to do something else and she dared to ask me to do something before I went off to do my thing.  I stormed out, threw all the trash into the car they gave me, and sped all the way to the dumpster.   When there I threw the trash as hard as I could reveling in the sound of crunching glass, broken bags, and cracking debris.  Then I went to the hatch of the Bronco and slammed it as hard as I could. I had all the windows up.  I learned a very valuable lesson about air pressure in a closed environment.  The rear window shattered out in an explosion covering me with glass.

How could I explain this to my parents? I had destroyed the gift they had given me all because I was angry at being asked to do a small favor on my way to do something else.  The first reading from the Second Book of Kings reminds me of that.  God has given Israel everything.   He has saved them from slavery, delivered them to the promised land, sent messenger after messenger to tell them of His great love and mercy.  In return they continue to ignore his promise.  The Israelites at the time expressed it as God having "put them out of his sight."  We understand that more today as God was offering them an Amazing Grace and they were too stubborn to accept it.   My parents did not turn their back on me when I slammed the car trunk, they were rather offering me the use of the car and all that came with it, with a small request of just taking out the trash.  God never forgets us, He never stops offering forgiveness... but sometimes in our anger, in our frustration we refuse to take it.   We refuse to be faithful to the relationship and that grace is lost.. just like the glass of a window shattered in the antics of a frustrated teen.

Society reels from the impact of not receiving that grace.  We see it today in the actions of our government, youth, friends and families.  What was once considered taboo and personal is now lauded in the streets.  Religion is mocked and relegated to something you just do behind closed doors.  The things that were once considered perversions are now considered sacred and relegated to untouchable and one is labelled a bigot if they speak out against it.  Just like the Israelites they turn their back on the one true God and serve instead the God's of the enemy, the ones who encourage sexual impurities, incestual worship, and even child sacrifice.  The Psalm for today speaks of that reeling, that sense of lost.  That moment when we realize we are no longer being sheltered by God's grace and not because of His actions.  He is always faithful, but we, we often break the Covenant.

You have rocked the country and split it open;
repair the cracks in it, for it is tottering.
You have made your people feel hardships;
you have given us stupefying wine.

Doesn't that say it all? The thing about the Psalms is they often express that deep sense of loss, that deep regret of not having God on our side.. that longing in our hearts for a restoration of that relationship that makes us whole and complete.  Even those Psalms though always end with a declaration of hope, a trust and faith that if we return to the covenants, if we but plead with God with a contrite heart, then He will always be there to return to us.   Hope.

Christ is that fulfillment of hope. Even when all others are turning their back on Him, even when the northern tribes rejected His grace to the point that their enemies over threw them, God was there for Judah.  The remnant need not fear the enemy.   Christ is there for us always, but He requires something from us.  Relationship.  Faithfulness. Covenant fidelity.   He reminds us that first and foremost we are to be looking inward.   To examine our own steps to see if there are any 'specks' or splinters in our own eyes.  That means looking to see if we are right with God.   Are we in a proper relationship?   Or are we pushing God away and rejecting that grace?  Many of us are choosing to ignore the splinters.  Some small vice or some small addiction that we can't control.. and we excuse it.  "I'm not that bad."  "It's only this, at least it's not that."  "I can't help it, but God loves me."   He does indeed, but He challenges you to be better.  To be the person He created you to be.  That means being faithful to His commands, following the rules He established, in the way and through the authority He decreed.

That doesn't mean we never judge.   Too many quote the Gospel without the full message.   It means that we judge as God judges.  God is righteous and we deserve punishment.   He is also merciful and took the punishment Himself.   That's how we judge, with righteousness (truth) and with mercy (love.)   We cannot express a God who is only one or the other.  If God is only the righteous judge, then only the perfect will ever enter Heaven.. and how many of us are that?   If God is only merciful then the Gospel becomes pointless, everyone is going to Heaven so why bother evangelizing at all?  Rather we must judge with both, but only after looking inward and getting rid of even the smallest of splinters.

The thing about a splinter is that it festers.   It irritates and either you remove it?  Or it becomes more serious.  Infection can set in, gangrene, a lost toe or finger, a limb?   Where do we draw the line?  We don't allow it to grow.. we remove it as fast as possible.  That for us spiritually means frequent reception of the Sacraments, even the most under used and often despised Sacrament of Reconciliation.   That Sacrament is a beautiful encounter with Christ Himself in which He offers to restore you to the right relationship with the Father, that we may be one as They are one.   Not only does He remove the splinter of sin by forgiving all sin, but through the penance offered He encourages us to safeguard from getting another in it's place.  We have to grow though!  We have to go forth and try, not just give up and say "That's who I am."  Because it's not.  It's an action you've done, and it's less than you are capable of.

To be saints is not a privilege for the few, but a vocation for everyone. - Pope Francis

Then we are challenged to go into the world and share that mercy with others.  Not to overlook their sins, but to help them find peace, joy, and a Sacramental life of their own.  To help them encounter Christ first through you, then through the Church.  In Cursillo we call that "be a friend, make a friend, and bring that friend to Christ."   Don't try to take the log out of their eye while you're still not letting God's grace flow into your life.  Form a relationship with them, see Christ in them, love them.   Once a relationship is formed and they see you trying, they see you going to Confession and Mass.. then you can invite them to know Christ.  Then, Christ, the man with no splinters or specks in His eye, can help to remove the log that stands between a right relationship with Him.  Are you ready to do that?  Are you making frequent reception of the Sacraments a priority?  Not something to fit into your schedule but something your schedule fits around?  Are you making Christ, the remover of all splinters and logs, the focus of your day?  Are we ready to stop trying to break the glass of the other even further and instead bring them to the One who can restore them to wholeness?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Setting the World on Fire

A reflection on the readings for June 16, 2016.

Sirach 48:1-14
Psalm 97
Gospel of Matthew 6:7-15

In this mornings first reading we see a list of all the amazing things that Elijah and Elisha did in their earthly lifetimes.  From raising to dead to controlling the elements, we see these men of God were truly endowed with the Spirit of the Most High.  Elijah was of course taken up in the fiery chariots into Heaven and Elisha even continued to perform miracles after his death.  We as Catholics believe that to be a sign that the person has gone on into Heaven with God.   That's why we name those who have been shown with much evidence to have miracles attributed to their names as Saints.

The thing is Christ said that not only would we do the works that he did, but that if we truly believe we will do even greater things. (John 14:12-14)   That whatever we ask, no matter what the task, it will be done.  Of course we know that it requires us to be asking in the right Spirit, to be asking for something which is God's will.  How though can we expect to be transformed into living Saints?  Men and women capable of things beyond ourselves?  Images of Christ himself walking among the population of the world, changing our own environments.

In the Lord's prayer, which we pray at every Mass, we ask for our daily bread.  This of course has the connotation of being cared for, right?  Just as the scriptures remind us that we are more valuable than a flower or a bird, they also remind us that God will provide us for our needs.   So, yes, we ask for food to get us through the day.   The word there, though, in the original language does not say exactly daily, as much as 'super substantial bread.'   Give us this day the bread that is beyond bread, the bread of which it's substance is more than just bread.  The bread that feeds us, that makes us grow.  The bread that does not get consumed by our body to make it part of us, but rather consumes us and makes us part of it!  That's right, the Eucharist.

Christ calls us to be more.  He himself comes to us in the form of our most basic of needs, food and drink.   He then begins to transform us through Communion, through the Eucharist, into himself.   He gives us the power to become living Saints.  We have to be ready though, we have to accept that grace and allow it to transform us.  What does that look like?   What examples do we have of those who have been transformed?  That's why the Church gives us a Canon of Saints.  These are the men and women who it is clear from examining their lives and the miracles around them, are already in Heaven.  Just like Elijah and Elisha, the Saints are those who have lived lives that shout out to God's Spirit living in them, and even after death have been shown to have miracles associated with them.

One of those men was Saint Padre Pio, who was canonized on this day in the year 2002.  Padre Pio was known to do many miraculous things.  From bi-location (being in two places at once) to seemingly being able to see into another persons heart and soul.  He would often tell people in the confessional that they forget "this" sin and then proceed to tell them what it was.  Can you imagine that?  Being reminded of something that the other person has no earthly way of knowing?   Yeah, that would be a powerful moment.  He also received the stigmata, the wounds of Christ in his physical body.  From levitation to clairvoyance, Padre Pio shows us what being filled with Christ's Spirit can look like here on earth.

Now, of course each of us is called to a different station in life.  Some of us might not be Capuchin Friar's like Padre Pio, nor able to hear confessions.  The thing is, Jesus also reminds us that miracles were not His primary mission.  Rather He was sent to bring forgiveness.   Padre Pio offered this in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  It should not surprise us at all that miracles happen in that sacred, Sacramental encounter with Christ.  What is more miraculous than the Prodigal Son returning or the one lost sheep being found?   The angels rejoice when we enter that Sacrament and confess before God himself and ask for forgiveness.  How often do we fail to see the beauty and need of that?  The most powerful part of it is though, that when we leave there we are challenged to take that into the world.

One of my local confessors always has the same penance for me.  "Pray for those you have hurt."  That's a powerful moment.  Even though someone else might be completely unaware of the thoughts or anger I've had toward them, Christ asks me in the confessional to pray for them.  Prayer is a moment that doesn't just change or effect things, but also changes and effects me.  It is a moment for me to bring about that other part of the Lord's prayer, "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven."  Yes, prayer is a moment for me to bring God's will into my life and to open myself to the grace that can change me into a Saint.  It's not something we aim for just after this life, but something we should be aiming for right now... Where to start?  By going into the world and offering them forgiveness.  The same forgiveness we receive in the Sacraments.  What miracle could be more powerful than that?   Can you imagine if the entire world were 'infected' with the forgiveness and love of the Father?  What can I do? I'm just one person?  Remember, it only takes a pebble to start an avalanche.   Are you ready to be God's whirlwind of flame to set fire to the world?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

So help me, I dropped it.

Offer it up.  Suffering can draw you closer to God.  Just trust he has a plan in this.  Words that I myself have thrown out when someone else was suffering.  How can suffering draw you closer to God?  I had an inkling before these past few pain ridden days, but the clarity that I see with now is different.  I can't tell you how your suffering will draw you closer, but I feel the need to share with you how mine did.

Until the other night I would have told you that the one time I experienced true pain was about seven years ago.  It's a day which I will never forget.  I had just had my spine ripped open by a doctor.  Rods, screws, and various twisty pieces of metal lanced into my frame like a sadistic pin cushion.  A living voodoo doll for someone very unpopular.  The pain was unbearable.  Then I experienced true pain.  Sure, I would have told you then that I had been in pain all day.  After that day though, pain had a different meaning for me.

Just after my surgery they needed an xray of my spine with 'weight' on it in order to make sure everything was bolted together properly.  So they wheeled me, mostly sedated, down a hallway to a room designed to torture and haunt my dreams for years to come.  Over by the wall were two bars... they told me to hang on them.   That's right... put your hands on the bar, we need you to hang all your weight on your arms while we take an X-ray of your spine.  They were not kidding.  So I did as asked.. they lifted me up, I couldn't even put weight on my legs yet... placed my hand on this rod and said ok hang on.. and then they lowered me till all my weight was hanging there.. hanging on those freshly spiked screw holes... twisting through those muscles which had been sliced through just days before.

Everything went white.  I couldn't think.  I couldn't breath.  I didn't know who I was.. or what I was doing.. all I knew was, "I have to hold on to this bar."  So I did.  I don't remember what decade it was that they came back to get me... or how we time traveled back to the present day, but eventually, centuries after the command to hold on.. they pried me off the bar and into my seat.. and I lost consciousness.  Everytime I see that scene in the passion of the Christ where they give him the cross and he embraces it, holding it.. almost reveling in the pleasure of that knowledge that he is holding on... I am reminded of what that feels like.

This time in the ER I experienced a glimpse at the living stations of the cross.  Up until this point it had hurt.. it had hurt bad..  enough that this man asked to be taken to a hospital... asked to be moved into a room with needles.. like a vampire asking for daybreak.  I shuffled in towards the room, a familiar one.. it's our date room... some how they always put us in there... as we drew closer the pain hit.  I gasped a few times, moaning out loud.  Then I couldn't see.  My eyes had become overwhelmed.  I felt the tears going down my face.  I felt the shame of crying out loud like a child, weeping in front of all these people... I gasped out something to the effect of, "I can't do it."  So help me God.. I dropped my cross.  Everything was white again with pain.  I couldn't think.  I couldn't move.  I couldn't speak or breath.  All I could do was stand there and exist.

Then my wife, the living Simon of Cyrene, put her arm around me and said just walk with me.  She moved me into the room and onto the bed.  For eternity I lay there waiting for a diagnosis, waiting for pain pills, waiting for something..  Then the nurse informed me she couldn't give me the medicine they had prescribed because I was allergic to it.  I was going to have to hold this cross again.. guess what?  I dropped it again. I begged her for it.  Please just make it go away!  Do something!  She told me she couldn't give it to me because I could stop breathing.. I didn't care, I said.. that'd be better than this..

Sunday my wife brought me the Eucharist and I felt unworthy.  I received Jesus asking him to forgive me for carrying the cross so poorly.  For giving up. You see, I now know the answer to what I would do if I were on the cross... would I go to my death?  I've always said I hope so.. but Jesus took more pain than me.. and begged for forgiveness... he suffered willingly for others, refusing the wine to numb his pain.  Me?  I cried out for anything..  sure I tried to offer it up.. I tried to pray a rosary.. but the words wouldn't come.. an our father? and nothing but moaning escaped my lips.  I sat musing over this while praying my morning office.

Then he showed up.   At the door.  Offering me communion.  His name was Deacon Mike, but I knew him the moment I saw him.... Jesus was there before me.  I felt shame.  Misery.... I told him that I had already received and he said, "Can I bless you then?"  I acquiesced and he placed his hand on my forehead.  He said in a gentle voice something that I will not forget any time soon.  God has created you unique.. so go forth in comfort living your life with joy as the person he created you to be.  No one else can do it the way you do.  Then he blessed my wife in a similar fashion.  Warmth flooded through me.

Yes, I dropped my cross.  I'm not Jesus.... but you know what?  I've picked it back up.. because he's making me more like him.  I am going to try to carry it with joy.. knowing that through this pain and this suffering I learned first and foremost.. who I am not... but secondly, I am more aware of who He is... and even if I have to drop it 100 times more... I will do so.. if only to glimpse Him for a moment saying how much he loves me.. as he helps carry the load I am unable to.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Baby, something is happening here

It’s been a rough few days.  I haven’t really felt like doing much of anything so I ask for forgiveness in not having written on my blog.  My daughter and I both have had some sort of fever with aches and pains.  She’s had the rougher part of it, not desiring to eat or do much of anything.  Today is a bit better.  She is goofing off some, eating a little, and even giggling.  How often we take those little things for granted don’t we?  Our giggling kids, the pranks they play, their constant noise.   “Keep it down!”  “Don’t do that in the house!”  “Go outside if you’re gonna make all that noise!”   It is when they are struck with a sickness, absent, or missing that we begin to realize how much we cherish those gifts.

In Sunday’s reading Isaiah is calling out to the Israelites to remember their first date!  How often we think of the desert as a punishment, as a time when the Israelites were being beaten and trained like we do to our marines!  Toughen up!  

Hosea says it a little differently, he says: "Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her.”  Let us go back to our first date!  When our relationship was fresh, when we were alone and it was just you and I! Even creation calls out in appreciation for the miracles that God had performed for his chosen people.  This was a time for them to get to know each.  A time of butterflies and giggles, of new experiences and understandings.  In this desert wandering the Israelites were learning what it means to be in a relationship.  Just like when we first fall in love we begin to ask what does she like?  What doesn't she like?  When I am with her how should I act?  Should I text her now? Wait till tomorrow? Is it too soon to call?  God was wooing his people.. Offering them the freshest of water, the finest of foods…

As we draw toward Easter the Church has chosen these readings from Isaiah to point to what God has done for us.. ‘Behold I am doing something new!”

Behold, the days are coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah,  not like the covenant which I made with their fathers when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant which they broke, though I was their husband, says the Lord. But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it upon their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.   (Jeremiah 31:31-33 RSV-CE)

Saint Paul in the second reading talks about what that means for us, the new Church, the gentiles and the Jew united as one body of Christ.  God has wooed us again.  He wants us to have that relationship with him so strongly that he came down as a man, to suffer and die for us.  Saint Paul talks about suffering with Christ!  We aren’t perfect, Paul is clear on the fact that he does not see himself as perfect either… but we can grow.  That’s what our desert in Lent is all about… about learning to be in relationship with God… taking a moment to look back and say when was our first date?  Do I still feel that way?  Do I still get butterflies in my stomach when I am confronted with the Lord of the Universe in the Eucharist? Do I rush to the confessional to see him on my lunch break in the Sacrament of Reconciliation? Do I miss him with fondness of heart and aching soul when I am unable to visit?  Do I still long to be next to Him?  Is Jesus still the love of our life?  Or is he going to the back burner?  We should yearn to be able to say with Paul:

I for my part do not consider myself to have taken possession.Just one thing: forgetting what lies behind but straining forward to what lies ahead, I continue my pursuit toward the goal, the prize of God’s upward calling, in Christ Jesus.

Then we come to this amazingly beautiful story in the Gospels where Jesus sets the example of forgiveness.  This woman is the epitome of one who has left behind her first love.. One who has abandoned what it means to walk with God.  She is living a life of adultery.  Her partner in crime is conspicuously absent.  They throw her at the feet of the Master and demand to know, what should we do?  Do you stand with Moses? Or with Rome?  Either way Jesus would lose.. But what does Jesus do?  He writes in the sand.  What did he write?  We don’t know.  What we do know is whatever it was… made the men condemning her turn and walk away.. Then he restored her relationship with God.. he looked her in the eyes and said “Neither do I condemn you, go forth and sin no more.”  Come back to me in the desert… read the words I have written in the sands of your heart and let me woo you again.. I love you that much.. To forgive you, to remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not; see, I am doing something new! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

Jesus is offering each and every one of us that opportunity in our own desert of Lent.  He is making a way in our desert, offering us living water.   He is writing in the sand something so powerful, a word so strong, that the enemy who seeks to make us feel distant from him will have to turn and flee.. And then offering us the same thing he offered her, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin any more.”  Are you ready to take his hand in the desert, to walk with God as his people?  Is your life changed in such a way from that personal relationship with God himself and his family that people can see it at work in you?  What does it look like?  

Every person is living in the desert of this world… from the poor, to the widow, to the refugee.. All of us are living in the world.. But we are destined for greater than that.. We are destined for walking hand in hand with our creator… to be lifted back to the dignity he created us for..  You and I with our words are writing in the sand of this world… we are writing a word for others to see… as you bend down before the world, speaking forth words that should bring life and dignity.. Words that should show you to be the people whom God formed for himself… ask yourself this one question: What words are you writing in the sand?  Do your words bring forgiveness?  Do your words turn away the mob seeking to stone and condemn? Whose child do people see you as?

His servant and yours,

Brian

“He must increase, I must decrease.”

Studying about that good ol' way

Isn’t it interesting how difficult we make our relationship with God to be?  For 2000 years we’ve constantly tried to change the teachings of the Apostles.  The Catholic church has held consistently to those teachings, so much so that if you read Justin Martyr and his apology on the Mass written in the mid second century you see almost exactly the same Mass described as you would see in a Catholic church today.  We always want something more though don’t we?  It needs to be more traditional or more progressive.  It needs to be more reverent or more folksie.  It needs to be ad orientem or ad populum.  We never seem content to hear the simplicity of the Gospel, the simplicity of what the Church truly asks of us.

I kind of see us in the man Naaman who in tomorrow's daily reading is coming to Jerusalem to be healed.  He has gotten this dread disease, leprosy.  Someone has informed him that the God of the Jews is able to heal, and so he ventures to their kingdom.  He finally is sent to the Prophet Elijah.  Elijah doesn’t even bother coming out of his abode.  Instead he sends a message to Naaman, “Go and wash seven times in the Jordan, and your flesh will heal, and you will be clean.”  Naaman is furious!  This man didn’t even come out and perform a ritual over him!  He didn’t even bother to speak to him or do anything flashy.  He didn’t send him on a quest to find some long lost item, or to slay a mythical beast… all he said was, “Go wash in the water.”   He begins to list off all the reasons he shouldn’t… first and foremost, his preconceived notion that he and the land he comes from is better than this land.  He lists the rivers that he would rather wash in, the ones he thinks are more beautiful, more worthy.  

Aren’t we a great deal like Naaman?  Jesus gave his Apostles the authority to forgive sin.  Then he gave the chair of Peter the authority to bind and loosen all things.   The Church hands us the Sacrament, instituted by Christ, of reconciliation.  All you have to do is come and confess your sins, say a penance, and your sins will be forgiven.  Do we trust in that though?  How many have walked away over this very thing?  How many times have we come out of confession and said, “All he gave me was a short prayer, I need more.”   We don’t trust in the simple words of the Church when it prophesies to us this is all it takes to be healed.  We instead try to make it more difficult, I need to go to this place or that place, have this special holy priest do my confession instead.. we shop.. we shop for priests.. we shop for churches.. and eventually, some of us shop for denominations.

Notice that in the Gospel the people again reject Jesus because of where he is from.  They reject him as a Prophet, and in the process again reject his condemnation.  “Can anything good come from Nazareth?”  “What? Wash in the the Jordan? There are thousands of better rivers back where I am from.”  Jesus offers us a simple message.  Love God.  Love your neighbor.  Then we say, that can’t be enough.. The message we have received from the Church doesn’t have enough of me in it.. it’s too much to believe in the simplicity of the message.. to believe that someone so ordinary, so familiar.. just a carpenter from Nazareth could dare to have a message that required us to forgive, and move on.  Jesus tells them it was those with faith, regardless of their background, regardless of their ties with the Jewish people.. who were healed, who were saved.

How about us?  Do we see it as only us?  Only those coming from our part of Christianity as being saved?  Only the Catholics?  Only the Protestants? Only the ones who wash in this river, but not the other?  I say to you that a stream came from Nazareth of clear, living water.  A stream that all we have to do is wash in, and believe in, and follow… and our sins are forgiven.  We need to trust in his waters, in this simple message, that God’s mercy transcends all of our human notions.  We must evangelize.  I am not saying that we shouldn’t talk about our faith.. but it’s not so much about book learning, memorization or rote prayers.. as it is about a relationship.  That’s what Christ is offering.. that’s what Naaman was learning.... when we do what we need to do be in this right relationship.. then we will be healed… Regardless of who we were, or who we are being at the moment… God’s mercy will wash over us and cleanse us.  Then we must take that knowledge out into the world and say with those who believe, “Now I know that there is no God in all the earth, except in Adonai!”  Are you ready to wash in the water?  Are you ready to give your life over to God?  

To be in a relationship means to spend time with someone.  To love them. To care for them.  To do the things that makes them happy.  If I do things my wife doesn’t like me doing, then our relationship is injured.  If however, I learn what makes her happy.. and sacrifice some of those things which I might think I enjoy, to make sure she’s happy.. then our relationship will flourish. It is only when both parties are sacrificing for the other, that everyone's needs are met. The thing is, in our relationship with God, everything that makes him happy.. will make us happy too.. Cause that’s what he wants.. happiness.. not robot movements, or automatons who do things without emotion or thought.. but genuine love.  God lived this principle in the person of Christ to show us the ultimate sacrifice, the true genuine love, of giving of oneself completely. Our faith is the response, our sacrifice the response. So let’s use what time we have left in Lent to grow in that love.. to fast from those things which are harmful to us, and to add in those prayers and activities which help us to grow in covenantal fidelity to the Lord.

His servant and yours,

Brian

“He must increase, I must decrease.”

Why I Have an Intense Distaste for Halloween

Original Photo WallPaper from VisualParadox.com

Halloween.  All Hallow's Eve.  The Night before a beautiful feast in the Catholic Church.  As I sit here reading the readings for All Saint's Day I am struck by how much I just do not enjoy this day at all.  I could go on and on about all the problems with Halloween.  From the commercialism, to the consumerism, to the gluttony; to the problems with how it has been taken over by the secular world to become a 'gore' and 'blood' fest where the major event is to be scary and gross.  There are so many reasons to dislike Halloween.  Yet none of those are the reason.  I have even been known to enjoy putting on a scary mask and scaring people, or to watch a horror movie (though I find a good horror movie is hard to find without some sort of pornographic content or simply a gore fest these days.)

No the reason I dislike Halloween so much is today is the day my father was electrocuted.   My father died.  Through some intense CPR they managed to get his heart beating.  He survived.  For a time longer than most can recover without brain damage, my father was clinically dead.  I was very, very young at the time.  I do remember Dad didn't want to go to work that night.  He had an off feeling.  Like the man that I have always known, though, his work ethic would not allow him to stay home.  Not over a mere feeling.  So he went into work.  A transformer had mal-functioned causing main line voltage to cross into the low voltage disconnect on a mineshaft fan.  So when my father went to work on it, not a simple 120, or 240, or even 480 went through his hand.  No, several thousands of volts went into his hand.  Then they went out his arm.  Then out the back of his neck, into the roof of the mine shaft.

My father by all means should be dead.  Praise God he is not.  We kids didn't understand what was going on to be sure.  My brother and I were shielded from the brunt of the horror.  All we knew was that dad wasn't around for a while.  I remember brief glimpses of the hospital.  Then I remember times when we went to Rita's house instead of moms.   I am sure so she could visit him.  Eventually dad came home.  I can remember glimpses of playing chess with him.  Of helping change his bandages.  Of smelling the flesh and stuff.  I am sure most of that is in my head.  What I remember the most though was the intense joy of having my father home. 

Today in the gospel Jesus says in his great beatitudes, "Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted."  I understand that on it's literal level.  When we mourn, it seems like life has ended.  Our hearts feel as if they will never be healed.  Things come back though.  Laughter.   A smile.  A father.  They restore us to the joy we sometimes think we'll never see again.  Our darkness eventually gives way to light.  I think though, as with all of Jesus' words we must go deeper. In fact, Pope emeritus Benedict the XVI used too very solid examples of mourning to express a simple truth about this.  There were two people who mourned in the New Testament writings, but both of them responded in completely different ways.

Judas Iscariot, the traitor, mourned.  When he saw that Jesus had been turned over to be crucified he repented of what he had done.  He ran back to the temple and threw the silver at the feet of the chief priests and elders, crying out that he had betrayed innocent blood.  They did not care.  Judas gave up hope.  His response was to end his life.   How many over the centuries have done just this?   We've seen it more and more often with our children, our veterans, our loved ones.   They lose hope.  They give up.  They take their own life.  It hurts all of us.  We mourn for them. 

Peter on the other hand, too betrayed Jesus.  For all his bravado when push came to shove, Peter denied him three times.   He ran form the courtyard mourning, crying, broken.... Peter too repented of his deed.  Peter though, allowed God's hope to permeate him.  He allowed grace to draw him through his mourning.  Until one day, still in sorrow, he heard the voice of the Shepherd calling from the shore.  Peter dove out of the boat and swam with all his might to the shore, to be told three times (once for each denial) Feed my sheep.

You see mourning can destroy us.  It can take us down a road where there is no hope.  We can allow it to eat at us bringing a turning of our back to God, to the world, even to ourselves.  As Benedict said, there is a mourning that "no longer dares to hope."  Then there is the other response we can have to mourning.  A mourning that "bursts into healing tears" through which ourselves can be renewed. We can allow those events to ruin our lives all together.  We can forget to allow God's mercy to flow through us.  Sometimes we even do that with his forgiveness.  We let the devil convince us that he won't forgive us, that we have done something too bad.. or too often... or too willingly.  We avoid confession and avoid running back to God.  We hear him calling from the shore.. waiting to forgive us and challenge us to love Him and His body.  Are you going to jump out of the boat?  Or are you going to huddle and wallow, no longer daring to hope? 

In Christ,
His servant and yours,
Brian

Veronica's Veil

This morning during my daily walk I was meditating on the Sorrowful mysteries, one that struck
particularly powerfully this morning was the Carrying of the Cross. I began to visualize as I walked and my mind was drawn to one scene in particular, that of Veronica and her veil.  Now not everyone knows the story of Veronica, but here is the legend:

The story of Veronica is not told in the gospels, but in early apocryphal writings. An early 2nd century version of The Acts of Pilate reports that a woman named Veronica (Bernice, in the Greek version) was the same woman Jesus cured of a blood disorder (Matthew 9,20-22), and that she came to his trial before Pilate to claim his innocence.

Later versions of the story from the 4th or 5th century say that Veronica possessed a cloth imprinted with the face of Jesus. Western pilgrims returning to Europe passed her story on. As the Stations of the Cross developed in late medieval times, Veronica was remembered at the 6th Station: she wipes the face of Jesus on his way to Calvary and he leaves an image of his face on her veil. A healing relic, impressed with the image of Jesus' face, which came to be known as "Veronica's Veil," was honored in St. Peter's Church in Rome as early as the 8th century.  - Stations of the Cross

As I went through the day I kept being reminded of this early morning meditation of mine, and wondering how it all tied together.  Then as I began to read and meditate on a chapter of "My Other Self" it all begin to fall into place.  So let me guide you through the thoughts I've been having today.

Veronica approached the Lord as he walked silently on the path to Calvary.  Simon the Cyrenien was carrying his cross and our Lord was the point where mortal flesh was ready to give way, and death seemed a welcome sight.  His body ripped and torn, beaten and bruised.  Spit from those who teased him ran down his face and his beard was hanging in tattered strips where they had plucked and berated him.  The thorns had worked their way deeper into his flesh, and by carrying the cross the agony of the flayed skin on his back had him wracked him pain beyond all measure. She walked up gently, bravely.   She reached out to him with a beautiful cloth and began to lovingly cleans his face.

Oh the gesture of love from this woman to her Savior, as she cleansed away the blood, sweat and tears.  As she removed the dirt and grim from his face from where he had fallen into the street.  She carefully wiped so as not to cause more pain, wincing herself as she crossed the wounds to his cheeks and forehead.  Tears filled her eyes as she saw how much he suffered for her.  The guards began to beat Jesus and she backed away with tears in her eyes, her breath catching.  She clutched this veil to her chest and fell to her knees flooded with grief and agony to see the King of the Universe, brought to such a pitiable state.

What does this tell us about our lives?  How do we apply this revelation to our walk with Christ?  Jesus told us "Whatever you do for the least of these you do for me."  If we look at this as a spiritual truth, and we look at the cross to Calvary in the light of the Sin which Jesus bore for us, it begins to show us a tender reality of how we are to deal with sin in our community, and how far we've fallen from that ideal.

When someone sins they begin to get covered in the grime of the world.  The dirt covers their face and mixes with the blood, sweat, and tears caused by and gained through that Sin.  It begins to sting their eyes and their face, making it hard to see the path ahead of them.  They may not even be able to carry their cross at this point, too weak to go on.  They can't see where they are going, or even think of where they've been.  All they know is pain.

If we truly are to be to that person as if they were Christ, it's our job to gently and lovingly caress their face with a cloth of cleansing.  How gently and lovingly would you touch the face of Jesus if he were before you in such a state?  Would you push into his wounds gratingly, demeaning him even further?  Or would you look on with understanding, with sorrow, with your breath catching and your eyes full of tears?  Would you fall to your knees in grief and agony and cry with them, as others in the community help them pick up their cross and continue on their walk towards God's will? Would you watch as they journey on clutching the cloth of the experience of having known them to your chest as a treasured possession?

Ah how short we fall.  Not only do we often not want to carry the cross of someone else, we don't even want to see them in a pitiable state.   We treat them as some outsider, the other, THEM.   We ostracize them and verbally berate them.   We talk about them behind their backs and instead of cleansing their face with a refreshing touch of love, we throw more dirt in their eyes and make them stumble away under their cross to try to get away from your glare.  We close our doors and hearts, barricading ourselves away, afraid we might get a bit of their stain on ourselves.

Brothers and sisters, this is not how it should be.  Today, and the rest of our lives, let us try to see Jesus in every person we meet.. and if we must address their sins (and sometimes it's absolutely necessary), let us do it as gently as we would wipe the face of Christ, let us lovingly remove the dirt, blood, sweat and tears from their eyes so that they can see clearly the path before them.. and let us cherish every moment of those encounters, as we help carry the cross of someone who has fallen.

What does it mean to be Sacramental?

 To be a sacramental person is so far beyond anything that I think we can convey in words.   It is to be Christ himself present to the world, as his hands, eyes, feet and mouth.

As a convert, the very nature of our faith is so much beyond what I felt and knew growing up.  Though my basic beliefs have not changed much, many of them have been further defined in ways that I could hardly have imagined.  Fleshed out if you will.  Baptism for instance in the church I grew up in was not a sacrament, but a symbol of an inward change.  It was something we did, not something that “did” something to us.  Seeing baptism for what it truly is makes a great deal of difference in how we react to the world.

As in baptism we are buried to the world in the tomb with Christ, and we arise a new man; so too must we think of our daily life.  When approaching others we are to be priest, prophet and king; representatives of a holy Kingdom, of Christ himself.   Our priestly role is to be liturgically present to the church and participate fully in the Mass.  We are a part of the liturgy and with the Bishop, Priests, and Deacons; we the body of Christ offer ourselves up sacramentally as a living sacrifice to be united with Christ's sacrifice on the cross.  As prophet(s) we are to be ever willing and ready to speak the word of God, by internalizing it and living the spirit of the Gospels in front of and TO every person we meet. The true King, Christ himself came as a servant, so too must we as king be servants to other, ready to pour ourselves out as a living libation in the world.

Through the sacrament of Reconciliation we are able to heal the damage we have done to our relationship with God, but also we are able to restore ourselves to right community with the body of Christ.   The grace of Christ pours out into our hearts and through the actions of our penance we are able to make 'right', what we have put wrong.  When we live this sacrament out in the world we too should be channels of grace that pour out our forgiveness to others and want to draw them closer to Christ and his church.

Through the sacrament of Confirmation we can say a resounding Yes, just as Mary, the mother of God, gave her fiat; so too must we say to Christ “Let it be done to me according to thy word.”  As living members sealed by this Sacrament, we must also go into the world renewed with energy and joy, allowing Christ to be created in us so that we can then in turn bring him into the world.  A spiritual rebirth that begins with the humbling of ourselves to do his will.

I think to sum up, as I have gone longer than a single page, the sacramental character of our lives means that we as Catholic Christians should live in the world in the exact same way we live at the Altar.  All too often we see church as an action we do on Sunday, living one way in front of the priest, and another in the parking lot on the way back into our lives.  Until we begin to not just internalize the Sacraments but to live them out fully in our lives, so that the person we are is starting to look like the person that God created us to be, can we truly begin to be the body of Christ in a world that so very much needs us!  It is only by allowing grace to flow through our lives and to restore us to the fullness of humanity that God bestowed upon our first father and mother, and restored to us through the second Adam and second Eve, Jesus and Mary, that we can begin to truly live out what we pray in the Our Father, “Thy will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven.”