How can you think of Christmas when Easter is upon you?

One of my friends was diagnosed with liver cancer.  She has been given only a few months to live.   My heart breaks when I think of this.  As I read the readings for tomorrow's daily Mass I am struck dumbfounded.   How can I think of Christmas when all that is on my mind is her Easter?  How much more so the experience must be for her.   She's angry.  I ran into her in the parking lot and I listened to her.  You know, not that expectant kind of listening where you wait for your turn to talk... but that kind of listening where you try to get out of the way and truly be present to them.  It was hard.  Not hard in the sense of getting out of the way, for once that part was automatic.  I felt God in that moment, I felt his Holy Spirit doing the listening... responding.  What was hard was listening to another friend, another person I have grown to love, share their grief with me and their fear.   Their fear of what was coming.

I am not sure any amount of faith could bring you to be ready for that.  Secure, sure.  I have seen people who are secure in their faith.   They know what is coming and they are ready to see their Lord.  How do you overcome the fear though?  The fear for those who you are leaving behind.  The fear for all the unfinished things.  The practical things.   All of it.  It is overwhelming to say the least.  It's Advent.  That time of year that we as Catholics use to remind us of the things that are important in life.   When we examine our thoughts, our words, and our actions, then through prayer and a sacramental life, we begin to let the Lord change us into who we are supposed to be.  We get out of the way.

In a world where we have so much, how often we instead find a million things to complain about.  In a season that we are supposed to be looking for Christ, when we are supposed to be examining inward as much as outward, to find what is between us and the fullness of humanity.... all too often we instead spend the time picking apart everyone else.  Instead of looking for Christ, we look for Satan... or don't look at all. We sit in our heat controlled homes, watching the news on flat screen TVs or Smart Phones, eating our clean, enjoyable foods; and we complain.  The store lines are too long.   They started Christmas too early.  The Pope had a slide show projected on the Vatican.   Look who funded it!? 

We pick apart that person, that Rite, that family, them.. they.    Jesus is talking to the crowds two thousand years ago in the Gospel, but he might as well be talking to us.  John came conservative, poor and meek, doing none of the things that a liberal might do.   They weren't happy with him.  Then Jesus came, drinking with the sinners, going to parties, and eating food.   He must be a drunk and a glutton!  No matter what they did, they could not win.  How so with the Pope today?  For liberals he didn't go far enough.  For conservatives he stepped over the line.  The truth lies in the middle.  The truth lies in looking at the present.  The truth lies in opening our eyes and asking what Truth lies in this slide show, what Truth lies in this family.. what Truth lies in this person or this Religion. 

Advent is a time to prepare our hearts and our worlds for the coming of Christ.  It's a time to reflect on the fact He was born into our world as one of us.   That He is being born every day into our hearts and our lives.   That He will come again at the end of time and the universe itself and all in it will be reborn.  The thing is all too many are trying to prepare the world before they prepare themselves.  Conversion has to start with us.   Only when we are authentic will anyone ever be drawn to Christ through us.  Only when our lives show that we truly believe, that we are 100% committed, that Christ is being born in our heart; only then will anyone be attracted to Christ through you.

My friend is seeing Christmas with new eyes.   This is her last.   It's her last chance to go through Advent.   To worship Christ in the Mass.   To journey into a new year.  To celebrate the season of Easter.. while on her way to her own Easter.  In a way though.. she's also on her way to her own Christmas.   We Catholics believe that this is not the end for her.. but a new beginning.  A time to go from this world to the next.  Not an end, but a transition.  How much more does that bring Advent alive?   We don't know when it will be our turn.  This could be your last Advent.. this could be your last Christmas... or the last one for someone you love.   Are you prepared?   Are they?  Are you working to help them?  Is your life one that calls to them in a way that they say "I want what they have!"   Christmas can start today in your heart... you and I are on our way to our own Easter... our own rebirth.  Get ready.  Be ready.  Stay ready.

God's promise is one of love.  One of joy.  One of resurrection.  It begins though with obedience.  It begins with doing what he said... out of love.  It begins with hope.  As he said to His people then and he says to his people now:

Thus says the LORD, your redeemer,
the Holy One of Israel:
I, the LORD, your God,
teach you what is for your good,
and lead you on the way you should go.
If you would hearken to my commandments,
your prosperity would be like a river,
and your vindication like the waves of the sea;
Your descendants would be like the sand,
and those born of your stock like its grains,
Their name never cut off
or blotted out from my presence.

Bring him into your heart.  Bring him into your life.  Let him be born again now, that you may be born again then.   That your name may never be cut off or blotted out from His presence.  

His servant and yours,
Brian

What crown is this?

This morning I spent an hour in adoration praying for a friend.  During that time I prayed my daily rosary with that intention in my heart while also meditating on the Sorrowful Mysteries.  I was struck with a deep sense of love and mercy.  As I began to pray and meditate on the Third Sorrowful Mystery, the crowning of thorns, my heart really went out to my friend.  While it was one of those personal and unspoken prayer requests, the message was clearly for them.  I wanted to share it with all of you as well.

My Lord and Savior, how pitiful a sight it must have been.  Having been scourged and beaten, your body wracked with pain, how did you have the strength to continue on the journey?  As they placed the mocking robe around your shoulders, onto the flayed and fractured skin, oh the pain that must have coursed throughout your existence.  Here the man who is King of all, being made into what to mortal eyes must have seemed a contemptuous parody.  With all the angels at your command your love for us kept you from calling them to your defense.  Ah, how undeserving we are of that love.

As they placed the crown of thorn on your sacred dome, deriding the very nature of your holy and regal being.  The thorns piercing your tender flesh, bleeding profusely across your stately countenance.  You bore this mortification in our place.  Having emptied yourself, you came to this world with this purpose in mind.  You who wore the very fabric of space and time as your robe, took on this tattered and worn garment of purple.   Him who was crowned with so much power and glory that even looking upon his face would bring on the fear of death, was woven a crown of dried, discordant twigs.  From the comfort of your heavenly throne you took on instead the discomfort of the Cross. 

My child, he seemed to say to me, I did this for you.  What you are going through now is a crown of your own thorns.  A crown that seems full of shame and loss.  A decision that makes you tremble on the inside, throwing yourself on the ground in your own garden of Gethsemane and begging God to take this cup from you.  Oh, my child do not let Satan convince you of this.  Satan is your Rome, your opponent.  He wishes to make you seem far away, beaten and destroyed. For you are a child of God, by my work you have become my co-heir and your dignity is that of the royal family.  You have been grafted into the shoot that sprang forth form Jesse's stump.   Your adversary wants you to believe that your shame is your dignity.  That your fear is your robe.  No, embrace this cross no matter how difficult.  Lift up your chin and bear yourself with the regal countenance that comes from being my sibling.   March forth and embrace your cross, and walk towards your Easter.  Do not be resigned but rather like Jesus, rejoice in the Holy Spirit.  Love this burden.  Grasp it in your arms as you would a newborn child.  Carry it as you would your own.   For then your cross will become a cross, without a cross.

His servant and yours,
Brian

Jesus, the Incarnation

Today's reading at Mass was about God creating Eve from the rib of Adam, because Adam was lonely without one of his own 'kind'. While this is a reading about marriage, it's also about human relationships. That fits well with my readings from "Consoling the Heart of Jesus." Bear with me while I try to express a mystery so great that I am sure my words will fail me.

God became man. A mercy beyond all mercies. God who needs nothing, lowered himself to a state of mortal needs. As we see from Adam, he 'needs' human companionship. God sees that it is not good for mankind to be alone, so he makes another human to have a bond... a friendship with. God became incarnate in a mortal body, he became one who needs bonds.. needs friendship. For us. For YOU. He, the all powerful, omniscient, omnipotent.. became defenseless. He became a babe in his mothers arms. A child unable to feed or clothe himself. A person in need of love, friendship, camaraderie. All this he did that we might be able to relate and exchange our own love with him.. that we might be able to experience that two way street of needing each other.

I often hear people say God does not need us, but I think it would be more accurate to say: God did not need us. The he chose to become incarnate... vulnerable., who who needs so that we might have the great honor of being 'needed' by God...

Do you realize that you are so important to him? So very important that God chose to need you?

Understanding that Jesus being in the incarnate word of God, had potential access to all the knowledge in the universe: past, present and future... yet being also fully man possessed a fully human mind.... a mind that as we have experienced in our own humanity is unable to contain that much knowledge.. brings to mind the thought that Jesus only had in his mind what was necessary for his mission. "He while being of the same estate as God, did not think equality something to be grasped; so he emptied himself." He chose YOU. Think of that... He considered YOU to be vital to his mission.. the knowledge of you, while on the cross.. he thought of YOU.

I have a friend who talks about spoon theory. Spoon theory is the thought that each person only has so many spoons in a day. Some may have a lot, but those who don't have much energy, that are sick or hurting... might only have a few spoons. So you take the spoons out one at a time.. and when the spoons are gone? Your day is done.. your spent...

Jesus chose you as one of his spoons.

My dear friend, I will miss you

Betty had been sick for a very long time. I was prepared for her death, and had spent time with her talking about it and sharing our faith together. I never knew how hard it was going to be. Today at the funeral the church where it was held had a special time for those who were there to share stories about her and her life. At first I had no intention of getting up and saying anything, but as I began to see that not many where moving to do so.. I began to arm myself with stories. I'm not shy about speaking even if introverted, so I began to pull stories out of my arsenal of time we had spent with her.

My mind began to remember the pinochle games till late in the evening, where we would sit together laughing and telling stories. Betty would have a beer or two and Julie and I some wine or what have you, and we'd just share our lives. Or we'd sit on the back porch as the sun went down and she would tell us stories of her family and friends, of her boys and their antics growing up. Or the time that I went out of town for two weeks after my back surgery unable to mow my yard, and someone called the police on us to report tall weeds in the back. They police came and Betty not only took time to tell the police the situation, but then she and my other neighbors proceeded to take care of my yard so there would be no fine. Or the many times she gave us food to make sure my kids had plenty to eat, or just to make sure that we knew we were loved. It was her way. Or when we stood together in the driveway as she told me she was ready to die, that the pain was getting to be too much and she just didn't know how much longer she could go... as we held on to each other and just cried.

Yes I went to that podium armed with stories to regale the finest of kings, and greatly overestimating my ability to speak to a crowd. I looked up and looked into the eyes of my friends. The eyes of her children and their children, their spouses and families, their friends and relatives. A lump formed in my throat that could not be moved. Tears formed in my eyes and threatened an ocean of misery. I do not know how I got out the few words I did, but I can only say that the Holy Spirit in that moment spoke for me, though I had not the words to say, with groaning that cannot be uttered.. this time the groaning was my own and in my heart.. words that could not be expressed.. feelings that were deeper than I had ever imagined.

In that moment I realized that all the stories I could fathom could not encompass the beauty of who Betty Ann Walker was. So I simply stated that Betty was more than my neighbor, she was my friend. She was like a mother to us, always caring for us and watching over us and our children. We can never thank her enough or repay her for that.

Yes, I will miss my friend. Till we meet again in Heaven, dear one, pray for me.