I did it my way

I’ve told this story before.  The story of sitting on the riverbank of the Mississippi at the White House in Saint Louis, Missouri.   How that the sun was shinning, the birds singing, the river flowing it’s long easy strides.   That I was sitting there meditating on being thankful and how awestruck we should be at the generosity of God.   There I was having this beautiful moment of relaxation with the beauty of nature when the thought occurred to me:  This moment would be perfect if a deer would just walk out of the woods right now.  God had created a moment in which I could encounter Him on a greater level, a moment in which the temporal could touch the infinite… a perfect moment.   There I was trying to be God.

Our first reading shows us that times haven’t changed much in that regards.  Just like I on the riverbank that Mark Twain made famous sought to perfect a moment that was already perfect, the world tries to tell us what makes us happy.   Frank Sinatra once sang a song called “I did it my way.”  In that song he lauds that his life is coming to an end, and that he always did it his way.  Later in his life he was known to complain about the song.   His daughter said he described it as like having something on his shoe, something unpleasant that you just couldn’t get off.  It was too ego centric, too self serving.  It reminds me of that saying the kids have, “I’ll do me, and let you do you.”   You be your own truth, and I’ll be my own truth, and we’ll be both be happy.  Yet, very few of us are happy.

The Saints show us a different way.  In their emulation of Christ they instead put others first.   They put their egos aside and serve God and man instead.   They let their own wants and needs go to the way side.  They aren’t concerned with honor, or glory, or riches or fame.   Recognition at the end of the day is not their concern.   Mother Teresa was once told by someone that they wouldn’t do what we she did for a million dollars.  She replied, “I wouldn’t do it for a million dollars either!”   She realized that the true reward is not in the comforts of this life, but in the joy of communion with Christ.  Not just in Heaven, not just in the Sacraments, but also in each other.  In the faces of those distressing disguises that Christ is wont to wear: the poor, the widow, the orphan, the refugee, the sinner.

Christ on the cross shows us the fulfillment of life.   The Disciples were confounded when He said that it was near impossible for a rich and wealthy person to enter the kingdom of Heaven.  The Jews in first century Palestine, like many of the people today, had a sort of prosperity Gospel understanding of how things worked.   The more God loved you?  The more you had.  The less favor with God?  The poorer and sicker they were.  Jesus turned that on it’s head.  The first, the most honored, wealthy and powerful King of all times and places?  Died destitute on the cross.  The first was last in the eyes of the world, but the last in the eyes of the world? Is first and foremost in Heaven.    That’s true happiness… right there on the crucifix.   A man with no wealth, no power, no honor, no pleasure…. But living out the will of the Father.   Dying in the place of all of us as the greatest act of love in the history of everything!   

That’s our challenge as well.  To die to self that we might serve others.   Not to make God an afterthought… not to get everything else in order first, and then.. After work, health, retirement, vacation, school, kids and all the other things we add in there, to find a moment for God… Rather to put God in their first.. And then place the rest around Him and in His arms… That is lasting joy.

His servant and yours,

Brian

“He must increase, I must decrease.”

A reflection on the readings for daily Mass for Tuesday of the Twentieth Week in Ordinary Time:  Ezekiel 28:1-10; Deuteronomy 32; The Holy Gospel according to Matthew 19:23-30

Like and Oil and Water, so are the days of our lives.

I moved out of my parents home into a house they had generously given me when I was just shy of eighteen. I remember making many, many mistakes.   One that comes to mind this morning involved being in a hurry to get back to whatever I was doing but trying to cook at the same time.   I decided to deep fry some 'tater-tots' so I could have a quick snack.   In my hurry to get back to the computer, or tv, or whatever it was... I forgot to take off that little plastic cover you put on top to keep the oil from getting stuff in it.  A few minutes later I smelt smoke.  Running into the kitchen I saw fire literally licking the ceiling tile!   I grabbed the thing off the oven and put it on the floor so the fire couldn't touch the roof.   Then I grabbed a glass of water off the nearby counter and threw it in it.   As flames engulfed my face and hair began to dissipate like the morning dew, I realized the truth of the saying oil and water do not mix.

I believe that to be the crux of the message from Jesus in the gospel today.   Some would use this verse to allow anger and hatred to rule in their lives.  To claim that anyone who stands in their way is simply doing so because they are a 'good Christian.'  Jesus is not giving us permission to be hateful.   He is not saying that we can ignore the rest of the Gospel and lose our joy, our kindness and our love.   No, rather He is giving us a dire warning.   That good and evil do not mix.   That often the response to our Christian walk and the message we bear will be an explosion.   That like the oil that splattered on my legs going straight through the skin, people will often blow up and respond with anger and division.   We are to love them anyway... to care for them... even at the cost of our own lives, our own desires.

In today's world were people soften the message of Christ, the cross becomes a thing of the past.   That's not what Jesus demands of us.  These three readings grouped together remind us of the price of discipleship.   That our goal is not one of flowers and rainbows, gentle currents and soft beds, but the discomfort of Calvary.   We are challenged to live our faith with joy amidst persecution, love amidst hate, a friendly demeanor when all others are bearing down upon us.  The early Church realized that Christianity was a call to martyrdom, a call to give up our lives if need be, without rejected the faith.   In all of this they realized that God's mercy was beyond anything we could fathom, but that the call was not lessened by that, but strengthened in the example set forth by the incarnation of God himself and the Way of the Cross.

With Christian martyrs in the recent news, displaced Christians being persecuted and martyred in many nations, and some making the claim that "in this century [we are[ witnessing more shedding of Christian blood than any of the previous twenty"; our eyes turn toward the past and the future.. but we must need live in the present.  You and I in the comfort of America likely will not be called to give our lives for our faith, though it is not out of the realm of possibilities.    The challenge for us at the current moment is: to die to our own selves.   To live our lives in a way that shows us to be servants of Christ.   To look for Him in every encounter with others and ask How can I feed them?  How can I give them drink?  How can I clothe them?  That means both physically and spiritually.   To ever be prepared to give "an account for the hope that is in us." (1 Peter 3:15)  Is there anything standing the way of that?   Anything stopping me from serving the widow, the orphan, the refugee?   The victim and the bully?  Until we become detached from those things which stand in the way of complete abandonment to Christ and His calling, Paul reminds us that we "have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood."  

What is preventing you from being the person you were created to be?  Fix that first.  Work on your relationship with God first and everything else will fall into place.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

A reflection on the readings for the Twentieth Sunday in Ordinary Time:  August 14th, 2016.  Jeremiah 38:4-6, 8-10; Psalm 40; Hebrews 12:1-4; The Holy Gospel according to Luke 12:49-53

My First Stitches.....

A reflection on the daily Mass readings for Wednesday of the twelfth week of Ordinary Time, July 6, 2016.

Hosea 10:1-3, 7-8, 12
Psalm 105:2-3, 4-5, 6-7
The Holy Gospel according to Saint Matthew 10:1-7

Today is the Memorial for Saint Maria Goretti

Maria Goretti was born to poor farm laborers in Corinaldo, Italy, in 1890.  Like Agnes, Lucy, and Agatha, virgin martyrs of the early Church, Maria willed to suffer death rather than the destruction of her purity.  She was eleven when nineteen-year-old Alessandro Sereneli attacked her, intent on raping her.  Even as she struggled in Alessandro's grasp, Maria begged him to consider the gravity of the sin he was about to commit.  He stabbed her fourteen times.  She died two days later after great suffering, freely forgiving her attacker.  Legend has it that she appeared to him in his prison cell and gave him fourteen flowers, one for each wound.  Maria is the patroness of purity and protector of Catholic youth. 

I was around four years old when I needed my first set of stitches.  My cousin Michael and my brother Danny thought it would be funny to pretend to lock me into the chicken coup.  I was deathly afraid of the chickens, especially that big white rooster.  If you turned your back on him to get the eggs he would flog you from behind.  Something about those wings flapping and the loud yell from his beak terrified me.  They sent me in on a dare to get an egg and then acted like they were leaving.  Then they sat down behind the chicken coup.  In my fear of the rooster I ran terrified towards the door and through myself into it with both hands.  I remember standing there with my head down because my neck hurt after having pushed right through the solid glass door.  My cousin Michael ran up and asked me if I was OK and I just kept looking at the ground.  Finally he said look at me, are you OK?  When I looked up he saw all the blood and the last thing I remember was him calling out to my mom in a shaky voice.

We sometimes do that don't we?  We run from something that is scary without looking to see the even scarier situation we put ourselves in.  If I had known then that rushing through the glass would hurt so much I would rather have faced the rooster.  We as Christians are called to an even scarier situation.  The cross.  We are called to face it, to be faithful to our covenant with God.  The Israelites in the first reading for today were treating God like a good luck charm.  They were scared of going back to where they had been, slaves in Egypt.   Instead of just keeping the covenant and loving God with all their hearts, they build more temples, more altars.  They couldn't see that in trying to run from Egypt they were running towards idolatry, towards sin.

When Jesus called the twelve he warned them continually that they would have to bear the same cross as He.  As Christians that is what we are called to.  We are called to face the cross... We can do it now or we can do it later.. but we must face it.  Look at that list of twelve men.  All twelve of them had to face the cross, they had to face death.  Judas did it in betrayal... he ran from the cross towards the plan he wanted to live.. trying to force Jesus' hand.  10 of the others were martyred for their faith. Peter, the first among them, was crucified upside down.   John?  Well John stood at the foot of the cross with Mary, took her into his home, and when they tried to kill him years later?  They failed.  So they ended up exiling him to an island where he died of old age.

On the feast of Maria Goretti we are called to do something, to face our cross.   To bear it with dignity, joy, and forgiveness.  Maria went to her death protecting the covenant with God.  She was faithful.  She didn't try to force God to do it her way, but rather even tried to save her attacker.  Like Christ she died forgiving him.   We too are called to face that cross.   Both by emulating Mary, the mother of God, and being present at the cross of Christ.. standing at the foot of it continually gazing up on our Lord; and like the Apostles and Maria Goretti, in being willing to bear our own cross... dying for our faith if necessary to bring others to God.  Are you ready for that?  Are there attachments holding you back?  Have you become so attached to God that if faced with the option of betraying Him you would rather die?

“Humility is the safeguard of chastity. In the matter of purity, there is no greater danger than not fearing the danger. For my part, when I find a man secure of himself and without fear, I give him up for lost.  I am less alarmed for one who is tempted and who resists by avoiding the occasions, than for one who is not tempted and is not careful to avoid occasions. When a person puts himself in an occasion, saying, I shall not fall, it is an almost infallible sign that he will fall, and with great injury to his soul.”
-- Saint Philip Neri

Our society makes purity and chastity into a joke.  God calls us though to understand that intimacy is not just sex, and that love does not always fulfill itself with intercourse.  Sometimes love requires that we hold back those desires we have for both the good of that person and ourselves.  Why are we living our lives for this small time frame here, instead of for an eternity beyond?  If we truly believed that eternity was awaiting those who lived a life of purity and chastity.. would any amount of personal pleasure be worth trading that for?  Your'e going to spend eternity somewhere.. which way are you running? Today we are asked to choose... will you stand united at the foot of the cross?  Or run headlong into a field for just a few silver?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

So help me, I dropped it.

Offer it up.  Suffering can draw you closer to God.  Just trust he has a plan in this.  Words that I myself have thrown out when someone else was suffering.  How can suffering draw you closer to God?  I had an inkling before these past few pain ridden days, but the clarity that I see with now is different.  I can't tell you how your suffering will draw you closer, but I feel the need to share with you how mine did.

Until the other night I would have told you that the one time I experienced true pain was about seven years ago.  It's a day which I will never forget.  I had just had my spine ripped open by a doctor.  Rods, screws, and various twisty pieces of metal lanced into my frame like a sadistic pin cushion.  A living voodoo doll for someone very unpopular.  The pain was unbearable.  Then I experienced true pain.  Sure, I would have told you then that I had been in pain all day.  After that day though, pain had a different meaning for me.

Just after my surgery they needed an xray of my spine with 'weight' on it in order to make sure everything was bolted together properly.  So they wheeled me, mostly sedated, down a hallway to a room designed to torture and haunt my dreams for years to come.  Over by the wall were two bars... they told me to hang on them.   That's right... put your hands on the bar, we need you to hang all your weight on your arms while we take an X-ray of your spine.  They were not kidding.  So I did as asked.. they lifted me up, I couldn't even put weight on my legs yet... placed my hand on this rod and said ok hang on.. and then they lowered me till all my weight was hanging there.. hanging on those freshly spiked screw holes... twisting through those muscles which had been sliced through just days before.

Everything went white.  I couldn't think.  I couldn't breath.  I didn't know who I was.. or what I was doing.. all I knew was, "I have to hold on to this bar."  So I did.  I don't remember what decade it was that they came back to get me... or how we time traveled back to the present day, but eventually, centuries after the command to hold on.. they pried me off the bar and into my seat.. and I lost consciousness.  Everytime I see that scene in the passion of the Christ where they give him the cross and he embraces it, holding it.. almost reveling in the pleasure of that knowledge that he is holding on... I am reminded of what that feels like.

This time in the ER I experienced a glimpse at the living stations of the cross.  Up until this point it had hurt.. it had hurt bad..  enough that this man asked to be taken to a hospital... asked to be moved into a room with needles.. like a vampire asking for daybreak.  I shuffled in towards the room, a familiar one.. it's our date room... some how they always put us in there... as we drew closer the pain hit.  I gasped a few times, moaning out loud.  Then I couldn't see.  My eyes had become overwhelmed.  I felt the tears going down my face.  I felt the shame of crying out loud like a child, weeping in front of all these people... I gasped out something to the effect of, "I can't do it."  So help me God.. I dropped my cross.  Everything was white again with pain.  I couldn't think.  I couldn't move.  I couldn't speak or breath.  All I could do was stand there and exist.

Then my wife, the living Simon of Cyrene, put her arm around me and said just walk with me.  She moved me into the room and onto the bed.  For eternity I lay there waiting for a diagnosis, waiting for pain pills, waiting for something..  Then the nurse informed me she couldn't give me the medicine they had prescribed because I was allergic to it.  I was going to have to hold this cross again.. guess what?  I dropped it again. I begged her for it.  Please just make it go away!  Do something!  She told me she couldn't give it to me because I could stop breathing.. I didn't care, I said.. that'd be better than this..

Sunday my wife brought me the Eucharist and I felt unworthy.  I received Jesus asking him to forgive me for carrying the cross so poorly.  For giving up. You see, I now know the answer to what I would do if I were on the cross... would I go to my death?  I've always said I hope so.. but Jesus took more pain than me.. and begged for forgiveness... he suffered willingly for others, refusing the wine to numb his pain.  Me?  I cried out for anything..  sure I tried to offer it up.. I tried to pray a rosary.. but the words wouldn't come.. an our father? and nothing but moaning escaped my lips.  I sat musing over this while praying my morning office.

Then he showed up.   At the door.  Offering me communion.  His name was Deacon Mike, but I knew him the moment I saw him.... Jesus was there before me.  I felt shame.  Misery.... I told him that I had already received and he said, "Can I bless you then?"  I acquiesced and he placed his hand on my forehead.  He said in a gentle voice something that I will not forget any time soon.  God has created you unique.. so go forth in comfort living your life with joy as the person he created you to be.  No one else can do it the way you do.  Then he blessed my wife in a similar fashion.  Warmth flooded through me.

Yes, I dropped my cross.  I'm not Jesus.... but you know what?  I've picked it back up.. because he's making me more like him.  I am going to try to carry it with joy.. knowing that through this pain and this suffering I learned first and foremost.. who I am not... but secondly, I am more aware of who He is... and even if I have to drop it 100 times more... I will do so.. if only to glimpse Him for a moment saying how much he loves me.. as he helps carry the load I am unable to.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Let Him Ask Again

There are so many things we try to do to get good health.  One doctor tells you to eat high fat, another high protein, another no fat, low protein.  One high carb, another low carb.  This one tells you to use aromatherapy.   Another to take this pill and that.  Yet another tells you to avoid pills and simply stick needles into certain places of your body.  All of them claim to have the answer.  It becomes quite confusing to the average person to try and figure out exactly what they should do and eat, what they should put in their bodies, what they should avoid... Yet we find people going to great lengths, eating extreme diets, concocting various potions and chemicals, all in the search of adding a few years to their life.

How many times in the movies have we seen people take upon themselves these massive quests to find a cure, or to save the one they love.  Indiana Jones risked his life navigating the maze of death to get the holy grail that he might save his father who had been shot with a bullet.  He was willing to risk his life for just the chance that he might save his dad.  In other movies we see people seeking rare flowers in the heights of the trees in the jungle, seeking out estranged guru's hidden from sight in order to find the secret to their condition, or even like Eddie Murphy, climbing the highest peaks of some strange country to find a temple to retrieve a scroll that will save many lives.

We do that still in our own lives sometimes don't we?  We look for the right herbal treatment, or the right natural remedy.  We ask doctors for medicine to cover up our symptoms that we might live a semi-normal life.  If someone told you today that you should load up your family and head to some other continent because the cure for cancer was in a plant in the middle of the desert, would you pack up that loved one and head out?  Many of us would.  If my daughter were dying and I were told I had to climb the highest mountain to pick a blooming rose on the 3rd of december at midnight, I'd likely be willing to do it...

The thing is though, it's Divine Mercy Sunday.  It's a reminder to us that God's mercy is infinite, it's an ocean waiting to be poured out on us.. all we have to do is accept it.  When I was a Protestant I did find God's grace.   God's grace is available to all people.   I'd feel the Holy Spirit at a prayer service, while listening to some preacher on the radio, while praying with some friends at work... yes, his grace was there.   It was though like I was searching in the desert looking for those moments.  Looking up to the dry, blistering sky I would occasionally find relief from the arid world around me. A drop here.. a drop there... just a moment of relief...

Then I found the Church... I found Him.. I found that river of life that Jesus told the woman at the well about.  Instead of a drop here or there... there was enough of God's grace to pour over me, around me, and through me... all of it right there in the Eucharist.  How much of that grace has God offered to the world and the world refused?  In the Divine Mercy Chaplet we pray about the fount of life, unfathomable divine mercy.. An ocean of mercy so deep it can never be sounded.  An ocean of mercy that is beyond comprehension, God himself, descending into a piece of bread... something defenseless... to allow me to receive Him into my body... to place that Mercy into me.. to consume it.. to let it flood through my body and change me.. to help me to grow into Him.. to be more like my savior and my Lord..

We seek concoctions, potions, spells and incantations to cure things which are temporal....... To ease the symptoms of a much less serious illness than that of apathy, that of spiritual sloth.  Do we realize how important Mass is?  How important it is to receive Jesus Christ; body, soul and divinity; into our own body to help us become what he intended us to be?  It's not enough to just receive that Mercy.. it's not enough to just tap into this ocean and consume enough for our own needs... No.. you see, you are a conduit.. The Eucharist fills you up, just like a cup... if you are full?  There's no more room.  God didn't design us to be just a cup.. He designed us to be little Christ's.... to pour ourselves out, like Christ did on the cross.. to take this living water and turn it into a transforming flood to mold the world into the image of His kingdom.

Are you ready for that?  To go out into the world and give away what you have been given?  To hand the mercy and forgiveness you have experienced through God's abundant grace and love to those who need it most?   The widow, the orphan, the poor, the downtrodden, the oppressed.. and yes, to your enemies.. to those you like the least.. to those who are most unlike yourself... That's what God is calling you to.  He is coming before you in the Eucharist and saying to you, as he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.”  Now it's up to us.. to say back to Him... to look up at the Mercy of God himself, to look up at Jesus in the Eucharist, and to say with Mary, the Mother of God, and all the Angels and Saints in Heaven, "My Lord and my God!”

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Thus far a rather uninspiring thing

Tomorrow is the feast of Saint Agatha.  It's interesting that when we see her story we find that the Church has chosen two readings about two very different Kings, contrasting them as book ends.  What do Kings have to do with this amazing woman from the mid 3rd century? I think that in order to find that out we have to explore a bit of both her story, and theirs.

We see in the first reading King David is being lauded as the ultimate of Kings.   His Kingdom was the one where everyone had food on the table.  Israel was prosperous.  They were winning their wars.  Things were going so well in his time that he didn't even bother to go out and fight, just letting his commanders do it for him.  He was indeed the kind of King the people wanted when they demanded God give them a human one.  David, though, was far from perfect.  David was a man who had sinned terribly . He took another mans wife in adultery and then had that man killed.  David was confronted by the Prophet Nathan who used a parable to show David just how bad his sin was.  Nathan did not mince words, he told David that he was the man who had done wrong. 

Then we see in the second reading King Herod.  Herod has successfully bartered peace with the Romans, though at a great deal of cost to the freedoms of the people.  He had rebuilt the temple as well.  Was a good man? Probably not, but as far as King's go he wasn't the worst.  The Jewish people weren't starving to death by any means.  Herod too had his problems.  He had taken his brother Philip's wife as his own.  Just like David, Herod was confronted by a prophet.  John came to him in no uncertain terms and told him his sin.

Both kings had sinned.  Both kings had taken a woman to be their wife that they should not have.  Both were confronted by prophets.  They both had completely different responses.  King David repented of his sin, poured out his heart to God and begged forgiveness.  Herod?  Well he locked John up and treated him like a play thing, eventually beheading him.  One turned to God, the other to the world.   I think that is part of our first lesson. 

Through our Baptism we are consecrated as Priest, Prophet and King, right?  So if we put ourselves in the place of the Prophet in each of these pericopes we ask ourselves, are we fulfilling that role?  Are we standing up to those in charge?  Or are we simply trying to get by.   That doesn't necessarily mean to the King or the President, but there are people all over who are in positions of authority.  We as prophets are called to deliver the word of God, in season and out of season, when it's welcome and when it's not.  The challenge is to do so in love.  Pope Francis recently said that we cannot begin to speak about the justice(judgement) of God without first talking about his mercy.  Are we living that in our role of prophet?  Are we making sure to take a stand and deliver God's message to the world?

On the other hand, we have two Kings in the stories as well.  How are we responding to that word when delivered to us?  When the prophets in our lives come to us pointing out our mistakes are we turning to God in sorry and repentance?  Or do we reject them?  Are we going to be remembered like King David who constantly tried to do God's will, a man after God's own heart?  Or will we be remembered as Herod?  A man who lived a life of hedonism and pleasure, one who was supposed to be an example for the people, but rather did not point to God at all with his life.  The King of Israel in the old testament was described as the following:

he must not acquire many horses for himself, or return the people to Egypt in order to acquire more horses, since the Lord has said to you, “You must never return that way again.”   And he must not acquire many wives for himself, or else his heart will turn away; also silver and gold he must not acquire in great quantity for himself.  When he has taken the throne of his kingdom, he shall have a copy of this law written for him in the presence of the Levitical priests.  It shall remain with him and he shall read in it all the days of his life, so that he may learn to fear the Lord his God, diligently observing all the words of this law and these statutes,

Saint Thomas Aquinas told us there were four typical substitutes for God.  Power, wealth, pleasure, and honor.  Here in this one verse we see that God has declared that a King shall avoid all four of those.  Power - You will not get amount of horses.  Horses were a sign of military power.  Wealth - the King shall avoid gathering great quantities of silver and gold.  Pleasure - He shall not have a great deal of wives, but he is supposed to remain monogamous.  Honor - The king is required to consistently read the laws and statues, observing them in humility to remember that all glory belongs to God.

We can learn a great deal from that.  God showed us early on in Scripture that these four things were dangerous to our spiritual health.  Jesus encapsulated them in the sermon on the mount when he gave us the beatitudes.  The beatitudes are the antidote to those spheres of influence.  So much so that Father Barron says that the beatitudes point directly to Christ on the cross.. a man with no power.. no honor ... no wealth.. no pleasure.. he in his manhood is helpless and nailed to a cross.. he though the King of glory is treated as a common, unclean criminal.  The creator of the universe, he who made gold itself.. does not even have his own clothing left to boast.  The inspiration for the Song of Songs is here in pain, beaten, hungry, thirsty and in pain.  Yes, Christ on the cross teaches us that lesson... but that brings us to our last role, Priest.

Who is the Priest?  Jesus is the High Priest, our example.   Herod and his friends were asking a very powerful question... they were trying to figure out who Jesus was.  They were confused by him.  Some thought he was a reincarnated prophet, others simply a new one.  The incarnation confronted them with that question though... Who is Jesus?  What is he worth to us?  What does his existence mean to us? 

Saint Agnes believed so strongly that Jesus was worth dying for, that she went to her death after much torture to protect her virginity out of a promise to him.  She was surely tempted to give up to those spheres herself.  When they were asking her to give in and have sex?  She turned down the momentary pleasure for the Kingdom of Heaven.  When they threatened to kill her and tortured her?  When they offered her a spouse with wealth just to give in?  Oh how easy it would be to give in for the honor of being restored to our former place, not to be treated as a fugitive.  Oh how tempted might that rich man been on top of it.. if I just do this... I'll live... I'll be fine... When they berated her and made fun of her.. sent her to a brothel to be abused and raped, would she have been tempted to regain her honor by just giving in?  She chose the cross.. she chose death.

That's true power.  That's true honor.  That's true wealth!  How much more pleasure can one have than to be a part of the beatific vision? We, too, are challenged to be counter cultural.  Being so intent on Jesus on the cross that we go forward with that as our goal.  Giving up everything else.  Focusing intently on carrying our own cross, to our own Calvary.  There is no resurrection with the cross.... there is no Christianity without the cross.  We must become Christ in the world.  As priests, prophets and kings... we are to reach out into the world.. wagging our fingers in the face of those in charge and saying this is what true Justice is.  Feeding the poor, the widow, the orphan.  Helping the refugee.  Visiting the sick and those in prison.  Being a good king who avoids wealth, power, honor and pleasure to rather provide protection, hope, and love to all those we are responsible for.. and we are responsible for everyone.  Remember who asked "Am I my brothers keeper?"  Finally, leading the way by pointing to Christ.. by learning who Christ is ourselves, spending time with Him and with the inspired word, and then leading others to understand who he is.  That question, "Who is Jesus?"... the answer to that question has the power to change eternity for everyone you meet... But you've got to invite them into that world..

"You may be the only bible that someone ever reads." 

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

I never promised you a bed of roses

In tomorrow's Daily Mass we see Jesus sending out his apostle's two by two.  This is indeed a significant moment in the history of our Church.  Most biblical theologians see it as a training mission, one in which they are being prepared for what will come after Christ has ascended.  There are some very powerful images there.  One of the major things we see though is that the Twelve have been entrusted with both the mission of Christ and the authority.  They do not go out impotent but rather casting out demons, healing the sick, and preaching the Gospel of the Kingdom.

The thing is though, that in taking on Jesus mission and authority, they also took on his lot(CCC 765).   They weren't just accepting Christ's abilities, nor his eloquent speech, but rather they were accepting his lifestyle, his mission... even his death.   We see that in the future events of their own deaths.  All but John were martyred, and John only because boiling him in oil didn't work.   They each took the mission so seriously that they went to their death proclaiming the Gospel.  Even Peter, who thrice denied Christ, was crucified for his faith.   Refusing to reject Christ, he begged to be crucified upside down, because he didn't deem himself worthy of being crucified in the same manner as his Lord.

Just think of that for a minute.  How much trust that takes.  How much faith. My friend Deborah shares stories about her friend the "Brown Dog."  Today she was speaking about how Brown Dog never rejects what she offers him as food.  He simply trusts her.   Sometimes he doesn't like it and turns away, yet he always tries it.  Always trusts that it must be good for him or she wouldn't put it before him. That's faith.  Right there in one image of a trusting friend, this dog that comes into her life, not quite a pet but not quite a stranger.  

How much more so you and I?  Many of us want the Gospel to bring us a bed of roses.  There are many preachers out there who proclaim that life will be sweet and bring you lots of wealth and pleasure, all you gotta do is jump..   but Jesus challenges us to something more.  He challenges us to share not just his mission, not just his authority.. but his lot.   He challenges us to live like him.  We often forget what that looks like.   In this short verse we see though two things that Jesus tells his apostles they must embrace: poverty and trust.   He sends them out without any possessions.  He tells them to take no money.  No extra things.  Simply trust in God to provide their food, their shelter, their needs.  He wants us to be like Brown Dog. 

Unlike Brown Dog, you and I also have been given faculties that allow us to think for ourselves.  To go beyond just the taste of the food, but to understand that what God gives us in our bowl is good for us.  That sometimes it might taste sour or bitter, but if he is the one providing it... then it's something we must consume.  Sometimes life gives us a tepid bowl at best.  Our loved ones are sick and dying.  Our friends are aching and hurting.  Our own bodies wracked with pain day in and day out.  We could become bitter ourselves, very easily.  It's at times like these though that we look for that example.. that true living out of the beatitudes.. to Christ on the cross.

Christ asked for his cup to pass from him.  It was very bitter indeed.  Then he did what all of us must do... he stood up and declared, but your will be done.  He drank the cup.  Wracked with pain on the cross they offered him vinegar, then gall.   How bitter and horrible these things.. Mother Teresa challenged us to see a new reality though... under the crucifixes in her homes she had the words "I thirst" painted... she believed that when Jesus said I thirst on the cross he was speaking of his love for us.  The Psalmist says "Like a deer yearning for running streams, my soul thirsts for you, Lord."  How much more so does it make your eyes open to think of Jesus on the cross thirsting for you and I?  "I thirst for you."

I've been meditating on the beatitudes lately.  I've been thinking of how they exemplify Christ, how they are a gift..    Some see them as a rule, guides.. things to be lived by.. Laws... I see them as a promise.  A promise that when we open our hearts, our intellect, our will to the Holy Spirit, then He will begin to live out these fruits through us.  The fullness of what it means to be human.  This morning as I walked up the aisle to receive Jesus in the Eucharist a sense of overwhelming awe struck me.  I've felt awe before.. but not like this.  I've even experienced longing, fear, dread... but not like this..   It was as if someone was whispering in my ear "This is holy ground."  I wanted to remove my shoes and fall prostrate on the ground.   I am not worthy.   I wanted to cry out like Isaiah "Lord I am a man of unclean lips!"(Isaiah 6:5) I still received Him, I still cherished his presence in my hands.  It left me drained and shaken, longing for more.

I'm like Brown Dog, you know?  I just want to trust everything he puts in front of me.  I want to consume what he offers... and yet, instead of vinegar he offered me today(and every day!) his very self.  Wow!  Think of that for a moment.  I deserve nothing.  I haven't earned anything.  If he were to put the worst of the worst in front of me, it would be well within what this man deserves.  Rather though, Christ says take and eat.. this is my body, given for you.  If you're not feeling worthy?  and oh man, there are so many times I don't... so much so that I often make sure I am last in line... why?  Because I realize I am a dog too... remember though,  even the dogs eat the scraps from the masters table. (Matt 15:27-29)

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Getting to Know You

In the readings for tomorrow's daily Mass, the Feast of Saint Thomas Aquinas,  we continue our survey of the second book of Samuel.   In this particular reading we see King David's response to God's promise to him.  God has just promised him an everlasting kingdom, that David's throne will last forever.  David wanted to build a house for God, but instead God built an eternal home for David!  We see David as the quintessential king of the Jewish earthly Kingdom.  Scripture claims that David was a man after God's own heart. (Acts 13:22)  This particular pericope shows us exactly why.  David's response is not to gloat, his response is not to cheer and brag;  no, David responds with great humility.  He wonders in a prayer of thanksgiving who he is, or who his family is that God has even allowed them to come this far, let alone make such a generous and merciful offer to him.   He prays for his people.  He submits himself to God's will completely, proclaiming God's words to be truth and life.

David realizes as the Church proclaims today that God's word is truth.   It can be trusted.   It does not return to him void, but it accomplishes the task for which it was sent. (Isaiah 55:11, CCC 215)   That's because God himself is truth.  He doesn't just have that characteristic, but he is the source of all truth.  (CCC 2465)  That is why we as Catholics do not believe in relativism.  We believe that truth itself is static, it does not change.  That's because truth exists outside of ourselves.  If it only existed inside of us, as some sort of intellectual endeavor, then every person is right.   That would mean believe that Hitler, Bundy, Stalin, etc. were all right in their actions.  Their belief that people should be murdered was truth... it just wasn't our truth.  "You do you, and I'll do me" the kids say.  "We will agree to disagree."  "Your truth is yours, but I believe...."  That is a dangerous slope.  One I do not wish to tread down.

Jesus gives us another way.  He tells us in the Gospel that the light of God cannot be hidden under a basket, but that God's word must be placed like a city on a hill, for all the world to see.  God's truth is not something that is hidden, it's not some Gnostic truth that can only be found with the right words, right rituals, or right amount of intelligence.  Rather, God's truth is evident through reason, logic, and rational thought.  Nature itself calls out to the existence of God and to the basic truths of our universe.  God has given us a Natural Law, one that calls out to not only his existence, but to an order.... It calls out to a static truth, a source of truth outside the human experience, a truth that says some things are just wrong... period.. no matter who does them, no matter what they believe... It says that in essence, it doesn't matter what your opinion or my opinion is.. the truth is not affected by opinion.. but exists in and of itself.

Saint Thomas Aquinas saw this miraculous nature of the universe and spent a great deal of his life studying and writing about it.   His genius has formed the philosophical nature of our faith as we have come to know it today, and has been a major influence on mankind.  He was indeed a light for God, shining throughout time to lead people to the truth.  He worked tirelessly to explore proof of God through scientific and philosophical means, and indeed wrote many documents proving just that. As a Protestant I believed in Scripture Alone... oh, how sad that must make the Father when he has given us such beautiful insight into his nature throughout the ages.  Two thousands years of writing completely ignored, reason and logic out the window, a church pushed to the side out of ignorance.. yes, a city on a hill that Luther tried to put a basket over.

You see, the Catholic church sees dogma as a light along the path of faith, a light to illuminate our path and make our footing secure. (CCC 89) God shines his light into the darkness and nothing is hidden from it.  There is a catch though.  In order for us to be the light of the world, we must come into a closer union with Christ.  It is a shame when the love of Christ is hidden behind a lukewarm spirituality.  His heart must ache terribly at all the grace that is refused by his children out of their own free will.  We must find a way to express that light, to bring that heart out into the world.  It finds its fullest expression in mercy, peace and love.

Those were the qualities of King David that God saw as a heart after his own.  A merciful, peaceful, loving King.  You and I are baptized as Priest, Prophet and King.  Jesus Christ is the epitome of that role.  Thomas Aquinas saw him as the ultimate end, the meaning to all things.  If you want to understand peace?  Look at Christ on the cross.  You want to understand joy?  Look at Christ on the cross.  You want to understand the beatitudes?  Look at Christ on the cross.  You want to understand patience?  Look at Christ on the cross.  You want to understand mercy?  You guessed it, Christ on the cross... Obedience.. humility... despising earthly things... detachment.. all found in this one man, this one figure, this one God.  

Whoever wishes to live perfectly should do nothing but disdain what Christ disdained on the cross and desire that which he desired, for the cross exemplifies every virtue.  (Collatio 6 super Credo in Deum)

Aquinas saw the glory of who God was.  He wrote volumes upon volumes about the mystery of God.  In the end though, he came to realize that God was so much more than we can describe with mere words.  God is so immense, so beyond understanding that Saint Thomas declared before his death when asked to continue writing he simply stated "I cannot, because all that I have written seems like straw to me."  At that point Thomas had gone beyond the point of trying to capture God in mere words, and sought only Christ himself.  He desired only one thing for all his labor, Jesus.

We have much to learn.  Knowledge is indeed important.  St. Jerome said "Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ." (CCC 133) We need to spend time with the written word of God in order to understand who God truly is.  Reading the writings of Saint Thomas and the early Church Father's is a worthwhile endeavor, something we should all strive for.   The wealth of information there is something beyond value, something that should never been hidden or taken lightly.  However, the goal is not knowledge.. it's relationship.  The goal is Christ himself.  It's not getting ot know an equation, but a person.   It's not memorizing a text, but having a conversation. 

Jesus taught his disciples in parables.  Those parables were not intended to be hidden and coveted as a knowledge that only a select few were given.  Rather, they were to become the teaching of his Church.  His Church is here to lead us, to guide us, to teach us... but more especially to bring us into relationship with the God of the universe.  That's what the Sacraments are all about.  That's what the Eucharist is all about.   Book learnin' can only take us so far.. we must spend time with Him.. we must receive Him.. we must listen directly to Him.  That is why the Sacred Scriptures declare that the Church is the pillar and source of truth (1 Timothy 3:15), and the Church in turn declares that the Eucharist is the source in summit of our faith(CCC 1324), because in the end this is about a marriage... between God and man.  You have been invited to that great wedding feast, as both a guest, and as a member of the bride..... In the end, it's all about Christ!  Do you know your husband?  Do you know your Lord?  It's time to get whatever is standing in the way out of the way, to look up at Him during the Mass and say "Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief."  (Mark 9:24)

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Turn this mutha out?

Tomorrow is the feast of Saints Timothy and Titus.  These are two of the companions of St. Paul whose conversion we celebrated this morning. These men were faithful to the gospel of Christ and as such were left in charge of communities as presbyters.  Paul challenges them to live upright moral and faith filled lives.  A good example for all of us.

Then we come to the Gospel reading.  So many misinterpret this encounter to be one in which Christ was rude to his mother.   How can that be?  If Christ broke a commandment then he's not the Christ we claim him to be.  In order for this to make sense we have to look at it from the Apostolic teaching that we have received from the Church fathers and through the church.

“Who are my mother and my brothers?”
And looking around at those seated in the circle he said,
“Here are my mother and my brothers.
For whoever does the will of God
is my brother and sister and mother.”

How easy it would be to put our own personal interpretation on this.  To say that Christ was taking Mary's role in salvation history and making it into something insignificant.  Something minor.  We know though that Scripture informs us that Christ was without sin.  For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:21)  Now in order for Christ to be the man we claim him to be, the propitiation for our sins... he must be this man who knew no sin.  Otherwise our faith, our religion is indeed in vain.  So if he is free of sin, how then could he have been dishonoring his mother?  That would be breaking the commandment which requires us to honor our mother and father, would it not? 

The Church fathers give us a much different view of this though.  In view of the rest of Scripture, in view of the teaching of the Apostles, we find that they did not see this as a moment in which Christ lowered Mary's position.. but rather expanded and fulfilled the Kingdom of God.  Jesus wasn't making the kingdom smaller... he wasn't making his family more refined... he was expanding it. He was showing us a very simple truth.  We are a family.   We are the body of Christ.  We are brothers and sisters.  We have a mother.  We have a Father.   We are one.  What we do affects one another. No man is an island.

In fact, Jesus says something so important to understanding this encounter.   He says "Whoever does the will of God."  Who can we say did the will of God more than the Blessed Virgin and Mother?  She gave an unconditional yes to his plan.   She gave birth to the Messiah.  She raised him.  She nursed and comforted the savior of the world.  If she, of all people, does not fit that qualifier, what hope have you and I?  No, Jesus wasn't narrowing the scope of his spiritual family.. he was broadening it.   He was expanding his family to include all people of faith.   To bring us together as a family.

We see this further expounded at the foot of the cross when Jesus says to his beloved disciple, behold your mother.  Mother behold your son.  Are we not the beloved disciples? How then do we reject Mary from our homes, from our lives?  How do we demean her and pretend she is not part of the spiritual family, as if she were just a box that God used to do something and then discarded.  What kind of loving God would that be?  One which just chose any old person to be the mother of his son?  In fact, we would claim that God makes each of us unique and beautiful.   He creates us with a plan for our lives.  He loves us completely, giving his very life for us.  Why then do we try to say that Mary was just any old person then?   If we are unique, how much more so the woman he designed and chose to be the mother of his son? 

Twenty years ago I would have dismissed any talk of the Blessed Mother.  I'd have told you she was just any old sinful person.  Today?  I will defend her.  Why?  Because I see her for who she truly is.  The new Eve, who gave an unconditional yes to God.   Who received a message from an angel of the Lord instead of a message from an angel of darkness.  I see her as the New Ark of the covenant, a tabernacle of flesh in which resides the true high priest, the true commandments written in flesh, the mana from Heaven.  Indeed, I see her as the disciple par excellence.    She allowed herself to be a conduit of God's grace to the world.  She continually pointed people to her Son.  She encouraged God's will to be done at all times.  She was present when the Church gathered.   She was there at the foot of the cross, weeping for her son but stoic.   Yes, if you want to know what it means to be a disciple?  Learn who Mary of Nazareth is.  

For indeed, she is the Queen of Heaven.  One cannot read Revelation 11-12 and not see her as the woman clothed in the light of the sun, crowned with authority over all of mankind.  You want to talk about a repressive religion?  Find the one that rejects the Virgin Mother.... Find the one that rejects her as important because she's just a woman... that's not my religion.  No Catholicism sees her as the most important human being to exist besides Christ himself. 

What about you?  Have you invited her into your home?  Into your life?  She doesn't replace God.. no... she's just part of the family.   God let's us all do that doesn't he?  He let's us share in his glory.   He wants us to be his hand and feet.  He wants us to be conduits of grace. The same with the spouse of the Holy Spirit, the Mother of Christ.  He is not offended when you show her love.  Rather, I believe he is happy to know that you love her too.  Don't worry... you can't love her more than he does.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"I must decrease, he must increase."

If I could save time in a bottle....

In the first reading we see this very intriguing event.  Ezra has stood up in front of the people and read to them the Law of God.  As he read it to them they begin to weep and cry.  They were sad, scared.  They heard all the things they were supposed to be doing and realize they were so far from that.  Was there any hope?  Ezra comforts them and says get up, God is good! This is a day Holy to the Lord.  It's a feast. Go eat and enjoy!

Sometimes we have that reaction ourselves.  Jesus gave us the beatitudes to remind us that the ten commandments require detachment.  They require humility.  They require being more like Christ.  When we hear that.. when we are honest... sometimes we want to fall down on the ground and say.. I'm not worthy.  Who am I but a worm?  A sinful man, unworthy of your grace, unworthy of your love.  Satan helps with that doesn't he?   He whispers in your ear "remember that thing you did?  Remember those words you said?"  He wants you to think you aren't worthy.. he wants you not to accept God's mercy, God's love.

We have to be careful not to get to where God's mercy is never great enough.  We have to avoid simply having hellfire and brimstone preaching without the immense love and mercy of God.  God is not a hateful tyrant, stomping around upstairs just waiting for you to make a mistake.   He's not up there with an eraser, glaring in your direction like that teacher who hated you... just hoping he can erase your name from the Lamb's book of life.  No, he's a loving Father.  He has to chastise because he is just and true, but he takes no savor in doing so.  He does not hope you will fail.. he longs for you to soar with the eagles.

At the same time we have to avoid God becoming buddy Jesus.  We cannot see God as only love without justice, only mercy without righteousness.  He is both and, not either or.  He offers the grace, but if we do not accept it, he is bound by who he is, by his own very nature, to have no choice but to punish us.  We choose that, you know?  God never chooses bad for us, but how often do we out of our own sinful ignorance and concupiscence choose that which is not for our own good? Too often.

That's why Jesus came to die for us.  To make us part of the Body of Christ.  Each of us is entirely and utterly unique.  No one can do anything like you can do it.  No one has the same skillset, same thought patterns, same exact life... only you are you.. and God loves you entirely.  So much so that he wants you to be a part of His body, a part of Him.  He wants us to work together to form one working organism... with millions of unique jobs to be done.  He's calling you to be a part of that..  To be a part of His Church, because it needs you.  Somewhere there is a job to be done... whether in the church itself through Holy Orders, in the service at the mass, or out in the world witnessing with your work ethic and joyful attitude. 

How do we get there though? On our own we have trouble always being joyful, don't we?  We are supposed to be bringing life into the world.. but too often we bring the opposite.  We tear down.  We yell.  We get angry.  The Key is in the responsorial Psalm.  You're words, Lord, are spirit and life.  There it is.. the key.. The Word of God is life itself... It is in receiving that Word, in internalizing it, in allowing it to change us.. that we become more like God.. we become life givers, not takers. We become lights, not darkness.  That doesn't mean you lose your uniqueness.  God doesn't make you into another clone, another zombie... he says to you, You are my unique child and I love you.  I don't expect you to do things the same as everyone else.. but I long for you to share my life giving love with others in your own unique way. 

He has given us the beatitudes to follow.  To show us how to be that life giving person.  These call us to detachment.  They call us to righteousness.  They call us to love.. But more importantly they call us to Christ.  They describe perfectly the man of Christ.   They describe Christ on the cross.   A man who was happy.  A man who was detached.  A man who cared for others, despite his own circumstances.   A man fully given to God's will and mission, while still being completely unique.  They very Son of God.

It is in receiving Him, Christ, that we can even hope to have the grace of taking up our own unique crosses.  We as Catholics believe that the Eucharist is that person.  It's not a thing. Not an it.  Not just bread.  Rather, it is truly the substance of Christ, Body, Soul and Divinity.  When we go to Mass we are truly receiving the Living Word of God.  We get fed from the table of the Sacred Scriptures and the table of the Sacrifice of the Mass.  Two liturgies, one table.  Two different bites, one single dish.  Heaven kisses earth and we are lifted up to be with God, with the Angels and Saints in Heaven.  We come into God's presence, we are brought face to face with Christ on Calvary. 

I imagine for some that's as shocking as what Jesus did in the gospel when he proclaimed to the people that He was who Isaiah spoke of 400 years ago.. the Christ.. the Messiah.. the one to liberate the people.   Then, he backed it up. He performed all those things which he read about. 

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
because he has anointed me
to bring glad tidings to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim liberty to captives
and recovery of sight to the blind,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to proclaim a year acceptable to the Lord.

That promise was not just to them... but to you and I.  He comes to us today in the Eucharist and says to you:  Are you poor?  Is your spirit lacking?  Is there something you need in our relationship?  Let me fulfill you.   Are you captive to some sin?  Is there something in your life holding you back from giving yourself to me 100%?  Let me free you.   Are you blind to my love for you?  To my presence in your life?  Is it too hard for you to see my hand at work in your life?  Believe in me and I will open your eyes.  Are you oppressed?   Is there something pushing you down?  Is your own ego or addiction a tyrant keeping you from accepting my mercy? My child let me be your salvation.

Today is the Sabbath, the daily Holy to the Lord.   I challenge though that all days, all moments, every second.. is Holy to the Lord.   God himself entered time in the person of Christ and through his presence has sanctified to God every thing.  Every moment was created for you.   Every second of your life a gift.  Christ came to proclaim to you a lifetime of forgiveness.  A lifetime of freedom.   A lifetime of joy and gladness.  Are you ready to accept it?  Are you ready to be filled with joy?  Start with the Eucharist today.  Live the beatitudes.   They will draw you closer to Christ and Christ will show you that indeed, "Today this Scripture passage is fulfilled in your hearing."

It's almost as if Christ is singing to you that Old Jim Croce song:

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

How about you?  If you could save every moment of your life in a bottle.. and relive them... would you relive them for God?  The Bible is our love story.. Christ is our lover.. we are the beloved... Is he enough for us?  Every time we choose something else... well, we have become spiritually poor.  We have become blind.  We have become oppressed.  We have become idolaters.  Even then.. even when we have fallen once more... like a concern parent he reaches out to us and tries to help us up... and he calls out.. and says.. I still love you.. come back to me.  I am right here.. I have come to bring liberty, freedom, and joy... let me free you and love you.

His servant and yours,

Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

What is Christianity without death?

A Reflection on the Readings for
December 26, 2015 - The Feast of Saint Stephen

The Day after Christmas we go from celebrating life, to celebrating death.  Isn't that a strange dichotomy?  One morning we are celebrating the birth of Christ into the world.  The image of a newborn child swaddled and nestled in a manger of hay or the arms of Mary the Mother of God give people a warm, fuzzy feeling.  Who doesn't love to look on the face of a cooing child?  People who often do not want anything to do with religion or faith are quick to join in worship on Christmas and Christmas Eve because this is what we want out of our faith.  That's obvious by the church shopping that goes in our culture...  You don't like the message? Keep moving around till you find one you do.

That's not Christianity though.  The church reminds us in this one simple setting of dates that Christianity began with the birth of a child, but it ends with death and resurrection.  The life of a Christian is not supposed to be a bed of roses.  It's not supposed to be all cooing and love.  It's messy.  It's hard.  It requires sacrifice, blood, sweat and tears.  It requires a cross.  Christianity without the cross is neutered.  It has no message. It has no death.  It has no resurrection.

Stephen knew this.   He went out into the square and he faced the people.  As a Deacon of the church he served at the tables.   He ventured into the public square doing his duty, that is making sure that all of God's people had what they needed.  He was a servant.  Feeding, distributing, helping.   The people who disagreed with him sought him out.   They looked for him to debate.   They followed him around trying to argue.  Stephen responded with logic, reason, and rational responses.   This made them angry.  Have you seen that before?   Someone wants to argue a point, you give them an answer they cannot refute.. they get angry?  They change to another point instead of acknowledging they were wrong?  In this case he had a vision and when he expressed this manifestation to the crowds.. the mobbed him, dragging him out of the city and stoned him.

Stephen was the first Martyr for Christ after His resurrection.  It's interesting to note though that Stephen prayed for his persecutors.  And he knelt down and cried with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”  In a perfect example of his love, in perfect imitation of His Lord and Savior from the Cross, Stephen prayed for their souls as they murdered him.  Stephen died with love.  No hate in his heart for those beating and stoning him.  No desire for revenge.  Simply loving them, even more than his own life. 

That's Christianity my friends.  Look at the fruits of his prayer?   Stephen in his love prayed for the men standing around.   We don't know what happened to all of them.  We do know that one young man, a certain Saul of Tarsus, eventually came to conversion and became one of the most influential Christians of the first century.  They threw rocks of stone, Stephen volleyed back boulders of love.  Saul consented to Stephen's death, Stephen consented to Saul's conversion and salvation.   Wow! Are you ready for that cross? 

That's what this Feast challenges us to do.   It challenges us to face the reality of Christianity.   It begins with taking up your own cross.   It starts with looking at your heart.   Are there any stony places left?  Are there any grudges you are still holding?  Any forgiveness that was supposed to be given that you are still gripping with white knuckled fists?  Today is the day to let Christ be born again into your heart, to stand up in the public square and let His Spirit give you the words you need to say.  Many times we don't know how to forgive... we don't know the right words to say.. we can't even describe it...  That's when we must turn it over to Him.  Let the Spirit speak them for you.. pray for the grace to forgive.. the grace to pray for them, no matter what the hurt...  Today.  Tomorrow may be too late. 

His servant and yours,
Brian

What crown is this?

This morning I spent an hour in adoration praying for a friend.  During that time I prayed my daily rosary with that intention in my heart while also meditating on the Sorrowful Mysteries.  I was struck with a deep sense of love and mercy.  As I began to pray and meditate on the Third Sorrowful Mystery, the crowning of thorns, my heart really went out to my friend.  While it was one of those personal and unspoken prayer requests, the message was clearly for them.  I wanted to share it with all of you as well.

My Lord and Savior, how pitiful a sight it must have been.  Having been scourged and beaten, your body wracked with pain, how did you have the strength to continue on the journey?  As they placed the mocking robe around your shoulders, onto the flayed and fractured skin, oh the pain that must have coursed throughout your existence.  Here the man who is King of all, being made into what to mortal eyes must have seemed a contemptuous parody.  With all the angels at your command your love for us kept you from calling them to your defense.  Ah, how undeserving we are of that love.

As they placed the crown of thorn on your sacred dome, deriding the very nature of your holy and regal being.  The thorns piercing your tender flesh, bleeding profusely across your stately countenance.  You bore this mortification in our place.  Having emptied yourself, you came to this world with this purpose in mind.  You who wore the very fabric of space and time as your robe, took on this tattered and worn garment of purple.   Him who was crowned with so much power and glory that even looking upon his face would bring on the fear of death, was woven a crown of dried, discordant twigs.  From the comfort of your heavenly throne you took on instead the discomfort of the Cross. 

My child, he seemed to say to me, I did this for you.  What you are going through now is a crown of your own thorns.  A crown that seems full of shame and loss.  A decision that makes you tremble on the inside, throwing yourself on the ground in your own garden of Gethsemane and begging God to take this cup from you.  Oh, my child do not let Satan convince you of this.  Satan is your Rome, your opponent.  He wishes to make you seem far away, beaten and destroyed. For you are a child of God, by my work you have become my co-heir and your dignity is that of the royal family.  You have been grafted into the shoot that sprang forth form Jesse's stump.   Your adversary wants you to believe that your shame is your dignity.  That your fear is your robe.  No, embrace this cross no matter how difficult.  Lift up your chin and bear yourself with the regal countenance that comes from being my sibling.   March forth and embrace your cross, and walk towards your Easter.  Do not be resigned but rather like Jesus, rejoice in the Holy Spirit.  Love this burden.  Grasp it in your arms as you would a newborn child.  Carry it as you would your own.   For then your cross will become a cross, without a cross.

His servant and yours,
Brian

Killing The Prophet

In Tomorrow's Gospel we see Jesus again speaking gloom and doom to the Pharisees and Scribes. It's easy for us today to look back and almost cheer him on, 'get those bad Pharisees!'  We like to have an enemy, a they, to place all the blame on.  We want to be on the side of good.  It's easier to feel like we are when we place all the blame on 'them.'  When we really examine what Jesus said though, it might make us squirm a little ourselves.

"Woe to you who build the memorials of the prophets whom your fathers killed. Consequently, you bear witness and give consent to the deeds of your ancestors"

Jesus reminded them by their very actions they supported the actions of their ancestors.  In building these tombs and monuments they are applauding the events that happened, as if they are proud of their ancestors for killing the prophets sent to them with God's word.  I'm not guilty of that, we say.  I never killed anyone and surely I've never applauded anyone for doing so? 

Yet, every time we are complacent in someone's sin.... every time we stand idly by not condemning bad actions or aiding in reformation of behavior... we have consented to their deeds.  When we buy that coffee from that organization we know does things we don't approve of, we have consented.   When we vote for that candidate that we know stands for something that is against our faith, we have consented.   When we stand in silent agreement, even nodding our hands, as someone gossips and tears down another individual... we have consented. 

How?  Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins.   Every time we allow a sin to occur without speaking up, we have killed the prophet.  In a way we are worse than the Pharisees indeed.   They supported the actions of their fathers who killed the prophets before them, but we support the actions of those who are responsible for God himself having to go to the cross and die in our place... in fact, not only do we support those actions.. we often are the ones committing them.   "Woe to you who sin or stand silently while another sins, You have taken away the key of knowledge. You yourselves did not enter and you stopped those trying to enter."

Even more telling is the response of the Pharisees and Scribes, they began to interrogate him "for they were plotting to catch him at something he might say."    How many of us have at some point in our life tried to get around something God has told us?  "Ooh, I'm supposed to Fast on every Friday, but if I give up chocolate that's kind of fasting."   "Technically, even though Mass starts at 8, Communion doesn't occur till 8:30.. so I can eat at 7:30."  How often do we look for ways around doing what we should?  Plotting to get around what God said, or to twist it into something that is more convenient or easy for us. God forbid!

There is hope though!  A great light shining in the darkness!  "For there is no distinction; all have sinned and are deprived of the glory of God."   The first reading reminds us that Jesus, though we didn't deserve it, through God's grace and grace alone, provided a way through our human weakness, through His sacrifice on the cross.   To both Jew and Gentile, all of mankind, is the offer of salvation and freedom from sin.  Faith!  We must grow in this grace and learn to have faith in God.   That even when we fail, even when we sin, we must place that sin at the foot of the Cross, trusting in his forgiveness.   We go to the Church, we go to the Sacraments, we ask Jesus for his Grace and we know that it will come.    We ask him to come and change us, to help us grow and to do better next time. As the responsorial Psalm reminds us, "With the Lord there is mercy, and fullness of redemption." 

Tomorrow as we celebrate the Memorial of Teresa of Jesus, let us remember to increase our time with the Lord.  Let us reach out to have a mystical experience with him.  Let us find him in the stillness of our heart and the silence of prayerful contemplation.  Tomorrow, find a moment to invite God into your life and simply sit with him, singing in prayerful confidence:

Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD;
LORD, hear my voice!
Let your ears be attentive
to my voice in supplication.
If you, O LORD, mark iniquities,
Lord, who can stand?
But with you is forgiveness,
that you may be revered.

I trust in the LORD;
my soul trusts in his word.
My soul waits for the LORD
more than sentinels wait for the dawn.

In Christ,

Brian

Veronica's Veil

This morning during my daily walk I was meditating on the Sorrowful mysteries, one that struck
particularly powerfully this morning was the Carrying of the Cross. I began to visualize as I walked and my mind was drawn to one scene in particular, that of Veronica and her veil.  Now not everyone knows the story of Veronica, but here is the legend:

The story of Veronica is not told in the gospels, but in early apocryphal writings. An early 2nd century version of The Acts of Pilate reports that a woman named Veronica (Bernice, in the Greek version) was the same woman Jesus cured of a blood disorder (Matthew 9,20-22), and that she came to his trial before Pilate to claim his innocence.

Later versions of the story from the 4th or 5th century say that Veronica possessed a cloth imprinted with the face of Jesus. Western pilgrims returning to Europe passed her story on. As the Stations of the Cross developed in late medieval times, Veronica was remembered at the 6th Station: she wipes the face of Jesus on his way to Calvary and he leaves an image of his face on her veil. A healing relic, impressed with the image of Jesus' face, which came to be known as "Veronica's Veil," was honored in St. Peter's Church in Rome as early as the 8th century.  - Stations of the Cross

As I went through the day I kept being reminded of this early morning meditation of mine, and wondering how it all tied together.  Then as I began to read and meditate on a chapter of "My Other Self" it all begin to fall into place.  So let me guide you through the thoughts I've been having today.

Veronica approached the Lord as he walked silently on the path to Calvary.  Simon the Cyrenien was carrying his cross and our Lord was the point where mortal flesh was ready to give way, and death seemed a welcome sight.  His body ripped and torn, beaten and bruised.  Spit from those who teased him ran down his face and his beard was hanging in tattered strips where they had plucked and berated him.  The thorns had worked their way deeper into his flesh, and by carrying the cross the agony of the flayed skin on his back had him wracked him pain beyond all measure. She walked up gently, bravely.   She reached out to him with a beautiful cloth and began to lovingly cleans his face.

Oh the gesture of love from this woman to her Savior, as she cleansed away the blood, sweat and tears.  As she removed the dirt and grim from his face from where he had fallen into the street.  She carefully wiped so as not to cause more pain, wincing herself as she crossed the wounds to his cheeks and forehead.  Tears filled her eyes as she saw how much he suffered for her.  The guards began to beat Jesus and she backed away with tears in her eyes, her breath catching.  She clutched this veil to her chest and fell to her knees flooded with grief and agony to see the King of the Universe, brought to such a pitiable state.

What does this tell us about our lives?  How do we apply this revelation to our walk with Christ?  Jesus told us "Whatever you do for the least of these you do for me."  If we look at this as a spiritual truth, and we look at the cross to Calvary in the light of the Sin which Jesus bore for us, it begins to show us a tender reality of how we are to deal with sin in our community, and how far we've fallen from that ideal.

When someone sins they begin to get covered in the grime of the world.  The dirt covers their face and mixes with the blood, sweat, and tears caused by and gained through that Sin.  It begins to sting their eyes and their face, making it hard to see the path ahead of them.  They may not even be able to carry their cross at this point, too weak to go on.  They can't see where they are going, or even think of where they've been.  All they know is pain.

If we truly are to be to that person as if they were Christ, it's our job to gently and lovingly caress their face with a cloth of cleansing.  How gently and lovingly would you touch the face of Jesus if he were before you in such a state?  Would you push into his wounds gratingly, demeaning him even further?  Or would you look on with understanding, with sorrow, with your breath catching and your eyes full of tears?  Would you fall to your knees in grief and agony and cry with them, as others in the community help them pick up their cross and continue on their walk towards God's will? Would you watch as they journey on clutching the cloth of the experience of having known them to your chest as a treasured possession?

Ah how short we fall.  Not only do we often not want to carry the cross of someone else, we don't even want to see them in a pitiable state.   We treat them as some outsider, the other, THEM.   We ostracize them and verbally berate them.   We talk about them behind their backs and instead of cleansing their face with a refreshing touch of love, we throw more dirt in their eyes and make them stumble away under their cross to try to get away from your glare.  We close our doors and hearts, barricading ourselves away, afraid we might get a bit of their stain on ourselves.

Brothers and sisters, this is not how it should be.  Today, and the rest of our lives, let us try to see Jesus in every person we meet.. and if we must address their sins (and sometimes it's absolutely necessary), let us do it as gently as we would wipe the face of Christ, let us lovingly remove the dirt, blood, sweat and tears from their eyes so that they can see clearly the path before them.. and let us cherish every moment of those encounters, as we help carry the cross of someone who has fallen.