I did it my way

I’ve told this story before.  The story of sitting on the riverbank of the Mississippi at the White House in Saint Louis, Missouri.   How that the sun was shinning, the birds singing, the river flowing it’s long easy strides.   That I was sitting there meditating on being thankful and how awestruck we should be at the generosity of God.   There I was having this beautiful moment of relaxation with the beauty of nature when the thought occurred to me:  This moment would be perfect if a deer would just walk out of the woods right now.  God had created a moment in which I could encounter Him on a greater level, a moment in which the temporal could touch the infinite… a perfect moment.   There I was trying to be God.

Our first reading shows us that times haven’t changed much in that regards.  Just like I on the riverbank that Mark Twain made famous sought to perfect a moment that was already perfect, the world tries to tell us what makes us happy.   Frank Sinatra once sang a song called “I did it my way.”  In that song he lauds that his life is coming to an end, and that he always did it his way.  Later in his life he was known to complain about the song.   His daughter said he described it as like having something on his shoe, something unpleasant that you just couldn’t get off.  It was too ego centric, too self serving.  It reminds me of that saying the kids have, “I’ll do me, and let you do you.”   You be your own truth, and I’ll be my own truth, and we’ll be both be happy.  Yet, very few of us are happy.

The Saints show us a different way.  In their emulation of Christ they instead put others first.   They put their egos aside and serve God and man instead.   They let their own wants and needs go to the way side.  They aren’t concerned with honor, or glory, or riches or fame.   Recognition at the end of the day is not their concern.   Mother Teresa was once told by someone that they wouldn’t do what we she did for a million dollars.  She replied, “I wouldn’t do it for a million dollars either!”   She realized that the true reward is not in the comforts of this life, but in the joy of communion with Christ.  Not just in Heaven, not just in the Sacraments, but also in each other.  In the faces of those distressing disguises that Christ is wont to wear: the poor, the widow, the orphan, the refugee, the sinner.

Christ on the cross shows us the fulfillment of life.   The Disciples were confounded when He said that it was near impossible for a rich and wealthy person to enter the kingdom of Heaven.  The Jews in first century Palestine, like many of the people today, had a sort of prosperity Gospel understanding of how things worked.   The more God loved you?  The more you had.  The less favor with God?  The poorer and sicker they were.  Jesus turned that on it’s head.  The first, the most honored, wealthy and powerful King of all times and places?  Died destitute on the cross.  The first was last in the eyes of the world, but the last in the eyes of the world? Is first and foremost in Heaven.    That’s true happiness… right there on the crucifix.   A man with no wealth, no power, no honor, no pleasure…. But living out the will of the Father.   Dying in the place of all of us as the greatest act of love in the history of everything!   

That’s our challenge as well.  To die to self that we might serve others.   Not to make God an afterthought… not to get everything else in order first, and then.. After work, health, retirement, vacation, school, kids and all the other things we add in there, to find a moment for God… Rather to put God in their first.. And then place the rest around Him and in His arms… That is lasting joy.

His servant and yours,

Brian

“He must increase, I must decrease.”

A reflection on the readings for daily Mass for Tuesday of the Twentieth Week in Ordinary Time:  Ezekiel 28:1-10; Deuteronomy 32; The Holy Gospel according to Matthew 19:23-30

But you don't count......

The other day I was having a conversation with someone about being Holy.   My friend Jamie loaned me a book about this topic (How to Be Holy: First Steps to Becoming a Saint, Peter Kreeft) and it has been heavily on my mind.  While we were talking a few other people joined in.   We were talking about struggling with sin.  At one point someone turned to me and said, "Yeah but you don't count."   As if being in formation for the Diaconate or being a very active Catholic in my religion made my struggles with sin and temptation less of an issue.   I think we have that image of Christ sometimes.  As if He was made in a way that made it easier for Him to be perfect, easier for Him to be Holy.

Ezekiel in his prophetic utterance this morning gave the people of Israel a glimpse of two futures.  One in which the city itself would fall into exile with the royal prince being cast out, and another in which the royal Son would be given the same treatment.   Jesus picked up his baggage and carried it out of the city.   Up onto a hill where the darkness settled in.  Some would dismiss this as a solar eclipse, mere coincidence.  I would chalk it up to creation itself mourning that which we did not see.  Like the prince of Jerusalem, Jesus was veiled to His people.  They could not see Him for their own sin, their own failures.   In a way, they said to Him as well, "You don't count."  

In Jesus parable again I see that theme.   The first servant goes to the judge and He offers him mercy.   The servant goes out into the world, a man who should be filled with joy at his fortune.   Instead, his greed kicks back in.   He wants to get back to where he was before.   Instead of sharing the mercy he has received, he finds someone who owes him money and begins to choke him.  He has him thrown into prison in anger.  When word got out the Master was furious and demanded an account of him.   It was as if the servant was saying "I am important enough for grace" but my fellow servant, well they don't count.  Them.  The other.  They... those guys over there... they don't count.

We as Christians are challenged to be Holy.  Not just me, not just the priests and religious, not just the holy rollers or bible thumpers... every single one of us is called to be a Saint.   To be like Jesus, to follow in His footsteps.   His footsteps are the way of the Cross.   That means shouldering our own crosses and marching out to our own deaths.   Now most of us aren't going to be martyrs.   Many of us are going to die in our sleep, in some way that isn't glamorous or extraordinary.   That doesn't mean "you don't count."   It means that God is asking us to die spiritually.. to our egos... to ourselves... to live our lives in a way that says to every single person we encounter "You matter."   To everyone of them, regardless of their station, religion, legal status, political party, sexual orientation, lifestyle, or what have you.   To say to them "As God has shown me mercy, so I show it to you."  Are you offering His love to others?  Or simply holding inside?

You count.  You matter.  You are Holy and loved by God.   Stop letting the enemy convince you otherwise.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

A reflection on the readings for daily Mass on Thursday of the Nineteenth Week in Ordinary Time, August 11, 2016.    Ezekiel 12:1-12; Psalm 78; The Holy Gospel according to Matthew 18:21-19:1

Don't You Want Somebody to Love?

“For me to be a saint means to be myself. Therefore the problem of sanctity and salvation is in fact the problem of finding out who I am and discovering my true self.” – Thomas Merton

A reflection on the
readings for Daily Mass 2016-2-23

This quote from Thomas Merton continues to present itself to me during this time in the desert.  Society does not want us to find out who we are.  Rather, society expects us to become a clone, to fit the mold.  We seem to teach the opposite don't we?  Our children are informed that they must accept every person for who they are, and to avoid bullying.  Those are both noble gestures and at the same time something that can be misinterpreted.  It seems to have been taken to an exceptional level through which we truly mean 'don't judge my behavior.'  Everything seems to be game as long as it doesn't hurt someone else directly.  We seem to want to avoid that discussion though in which we begin to define what might happen indirectly, and what might happen to the person who is doing the 'doing.'

Our people have lost the concept of who they truly are.   The evil forces in the world wish us to believe that we are worthless.   That only when we conform to the same agenda as the people currently in charge will we be right, while at the same time proclaiming 'You are right, and I am right.'  We seem to have lost that notion of objective truth.   Truth exists outside of us.  It is not something that we determine, it just is.   That's a hard pill to swallow in an extremely secular society that rejects the notion of anything outside of self.  The thing is, if we examine it with reason and logic we find that there is a truth, there are things which we would never say were right no matter who was doing them.  Rape, abortion, incest, murder, theft, adultery.   All societies at all times have seen that these things are bad, to the point that in the teaching of the Apostles (the Didache) things like abortion are mentioned specifically.

The problem is authenticity.  Where is your heart?  Jesus reminded us that where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:21)  For the Jewish audience the heart was the central core of the man ,what made him who he is.  What you desire, what you work for, where you spend your time and your money... that is your desire. That is your God... your idol.. the thing which you worship.   We can fall into that error easily.  We can place everything before God... our work, our hobbies, our religion, even our families.  It's only when we discover who we truly are, when we discover the human that we are created to be, can we ever hope to put things aright.  How do we know though what God created us to be?  Adam and Eve were created perfectly but then came The Fall.   Since then we've suffered from concupiscence, from our own lusts and desires, from a tendency to do that which feels good and seems good regardless of the consequences.  How then can we learn who we are?  Can we learn the truth?

First and foremost, by spending time with God.   God has revealed himself to us in the fullness of one person, in Jesus Christ.  Faith is not just a blind obedience.  It is a relationship.  It's a method of learning not only who Jesus Christ is, but rather also learning who we are.  Each of us in created in his image.  Yet, just like every marriage.. what works for one relationship, doesn't always look the same in the other, but they definitely can both be loving.  God doesn't want you to give up your uniqueness.  He doesn't want you to become a robot, a person who only does what everyone else does, but rather someone who expresses their unique individuality in the fullness of who they are.  You are created for good.   Genuflecting at mass, is a good.   Why though? That's what we need to learn.  So that when you understand your faith, when you understand the actions, words, and deeds that are asked of you.. you can choose them from your own intellect, choose them on your own, and perform them as an authentic you.

That's what the problem was with the Pharisees.   Jesus does not condemn their teaching.  He even reaffirms that they sit on the throne of Moses.  He doesn't say 'find a new church, or make your own... if your teacher is a hypocrite?  Find a new one, or become your own Pope.'  No, Jesus tells us do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their example.  Jesus says choose good!  Be authentic!  Don't just go through the motions.  Learn the motions... ask why.... then choose which is good and reject that which is evil.  It does not mean that for one person being called to chastity is good, but for another it is not.. being called to chastity is always a good!  It means though that how you express that, how you live that.. looks different based on who you are, your vocation, and your personality.

You are made in the image of God!  You are off infinite worth! St. Therese recorded these thoughts just to remind the rest of us how much God loved us.  One of her favorite things was the snow.   She wanted it to snow on the day of her vows, she desired it with all of her heart.   She says:

That January day, the weather was so mild, snow seemed unlikely. However, upon returning to the cloister, the first thing that struck my eye was the statue of ‘the little Jesus’ smiling at me from the midst of flowers and lights. Immediately afterwards my glance was drawn to the snow: the monastery garden was white like me! What thoughtfulness on the part of Jesus! Anticipating the desires of his fiancée, He gave her snow. Snow! What mortal bridegroom, no matter how powerful he may be, could make snow fall from heaven to charm his beloved?”

Do you realize that?  That's your worth!  God loves you how you are, but too much to leave you there.  He loves you enough to do anything for you, to bring you to his love.. to bring you to the good.  The Pharisees were doing a lot of good things... but their hearts weren't in it.. they weren't in love with God... they were in love with just the Law.  The law isn't a bad thing.. the bible isn't a bad thing... but there is so much more... there is a person, Jesus Christ.  Are you in love with him? Or just the thought of him?  As we journey through Lent that is what we should be aiming for.. to fall in love for the first time.. or fall in love all over again.. with that person who created the entire universe just for us... just for you.. just for me.... If only one of us believed, if only one of us would have been saved... he would have gone to the cross for just that one lost sheep.... Let the shepherd come get you, and then rest on his shoulders as he carries you into an authentic relationship.. a true love... eternal in the heavens. God is calling us to set things right and then to trust in him as he washes us white as snow.

That is how much he loves you.. the question is... how much do you love him?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Take Care

Such a simple line from tomorrow's gospel.  It really triggers some thoughts from the books I am reading, the scriptures I am studying, and even some of the discussions I've been a part of.  It's funny how the Holy Spirit works that way, eh?  "Take care and guard against all greed."   Jesus then goes on to talk about a man who doesn't have enough to store all that he has, so he makes grand plans to provide for himself so he can have a long and happy life.  Yet, that very night he is doomed to die.  Then who will have all the stuff he has stored up?  To who will that belong?

I think this is truly a call to stewardship.  I have been studying that a lot the past few years, and more especially for an upcoming class in Aspirancy formation.  What is Stewardship indeed?  Many think of it as tithing, as giving a part of your money.  Or just giving some of your time.  Those are involved in it, sure.  Stewardship is so much more.  Stewardship is giving of self.   It is giving everything you have, everything you are, everything you are to become... giving all of that to God for his Kingdom, and to your neighbor as you would yourself.

That's a tall order isn't it?  Pouring yourself out like a libation?  Giving of yourself so much that it hurts?  Blood sweat and tears!  Are we ready to do that?  Wow, how hard it is sometimes just to give up a few minutes of our time in prayer.   We sometimes get grumpy or angry when our kids want this or that, or our spouse demands this time or that time, when we had plans to do our own thing.  In the long run, God calls us like this man in the Parable.  He says, you fool... tomorrow you could be called away.. what is most important?  God.  Family. Friends.   You see, I don't think the rich man in the parable had a problem because he was rich.  I think his problem became that he wanted more, and more.   Instead of giving away all this excess, instead of sharing it with his neighbors and friends... he wanted to build even bigger barns and storage bins.  Not so he'd have more to give away.. but so that he could party and relax. 

We are called to emulate our Lord Jesus Christ.  As the first reading says, Jesus was handed over for our transgressions, and raised for our justification. In what ways can we do this in our daily life? Hand ourselves over for others?  Becoming stewards.  Not just of our talents.   Not just of our monetary treasures.   Stewards of our entire lives... time, friendships, creation, economic, political, every sphere that we are involved in should be for God.   Every action, every thing we put in our bodies, every thing we say, every purchase, every television show, every song, every breath, every thought and dream... should be for God's glory.. and for the benefit of mankind.   That is, we should be bringing God's kingdom here and now.   That is what being a Steward is.  Knowing that God has given you everything you have, even the very life coursing through your body.  Our response?   Giving it back to him.. in every way possible.

In Christ, His servant and yours,

Brian

Misericordia

Tonight I attended a Spanish Mass at our Parish.  Both to work on my Spanish listening skills and to
attempt to build some friendships and familiarity with a part of the Parish that I often do not get to see.  I have several friends who come to daily Mass or who are involved in other ministries whose native tongue is Spanish and it was good to see them and spend time with them in worship.  I did feel a little out of place though.

Why?  Probably ego?  Pride? Unfamiliarity?   It was good for me though, that is for sure.  I kept hearing this one word though, one I recognized from my studies and from preparing before hand.  "Misericordia."  Mercy.  Kindness.  I heard it in the antiphon of the Psalm.  I heard it in the singing.  I heard it in the readings.  I heard it Father Dorado's homily. (Most of which I was lost in, but I did understand parts of it!)

At the end a friend of mine, Ignatio, grabbed my hand and welcomed me.  Made sure to encourage me and talked about his experience of going to daily Mass in English.  He talked about how he at first did not understand much, but now after a few years, really has begun to understand it well enough to feel comfortable.  Here was a man willing to put his ego to the side.  A man willing to go where he was uncomfortable, where he didn't know many, but persisted through those feelings in order to learn enough of a language to help those of us who did not know his own to be able to experience one another in the body of Christ.

There are those out there who will tell you, "You are not an American if you don't speak English."  "I refuse to learn another language!"  "Why the hell should I have to press 1 to get English? This is America!"  To that I say rubbish.  Today's gospel calls out to us to put ourselves to the side and to instead humble ourselves to be servants.  Servants don't make those they are serving learn their language, rather they humble themselves and put forth the effort to learn the language themselves. "You know that those who are recognized as rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones make their authority over them felt.  But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you will be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you will be the slave of all." 

Think about this for just a moment.  The God of the universe is so far beyond us that it would be like comparing a human to a worm.  This God of ours humbled himself so much that he condescended into one of us, becoming one of us in every way, except sin.  He learnt our language.   He took on our ways.  He didn't expect us to suddenly learn to speak God's tongue.  How much more so should we be willing to approach our brothers as if they were Christ himself?  Learning a language is the least we can do.   Learning who they are, where they are from, their name;  those are other steps we should take.  Their customs, their cultures, their families.  They are part of us.  We are one body.  There aren't 500,000 bodies of Christ.. only one. 

So go out into the world.  Serve your brothers and sisters.  Learn to speak to them.  More importantly learn to listen and understand them.  Try to learn their names.  Their families.  Their interests.   Let them know how important they are to you.  How much you love them.   Don't expect anything in return.  Just offer yourself for them, as Christ offered himself to us.  Then we can cry out together, with our brothers and sisters, in all tongues: "Lord, let your mercy be on us, as we place our trust in you."

In Christ,

His servant and yours,

Brian