What does it mean to deny Christ? There is, of course, an outright, direct denial of Christ in those who claim God does not exist or that Jesus was just a man, but there is more to it I think. (Click the link to read more)

2017-06-25
Twelfth Sunday in Ordinary Time
Lectionary: 94
JER 20:10-13
PS 69:8-10, 14, 17, 33-35
ROM 5:12-15
MT 10:26-33

What does it mean to deny Christ?  There is, of course, an outright, direct denial of Christ in those who claim God does not exist or that Jesus was just a man, but there is more to it I think.  Jesus often taught that the law was so much more than just the surface.   To just not commit adultery wasn’t enough, one had to work on purifying his mind and not even to lust after someone.  To just not commit murder wasn’t enough, one had to work on becoming a person who did not even get angry enough to yell or call someone a name.  I think that’s important to take into mind when we talk about ‘denying Christ.’

Jesus tells clearly in the gospel that if we deny Him, He will deny us in front of the Father.   That is something all of us should be in awe of.   The Father is life itself.   Not to be a part of that life means not to have eternal life.  Heaven.   Peace.  Nirvana.   Whatever one calls it or visualizes it, to be told that if we deny knowing Christ we will not be a part of that!   That’s a scary thought.  That word in Greek,  ὁμολογήσει (homologēsei), means to confess.   Jesus will confess, declare, avow that we belong there before the Father.   I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we have a sacrament called Confession.

A confession is a testimony.   It’s an admittance of something we have done or something we know.   It’s where we are, where we have been, who we have been with, and what we have done.  I really think that last part is very important when we talk about denying Christ.  Simply saying “I am a Christian” or “I believe in Jesus” is just scratching the surface of what it means.   What do you believe?   That’s what is at stake here.  Do you believe Jesus is the third person of the Trinity?  Fully present in the Sacraments?  That He died for your sins?   That He is still here now in a special way, and fully present body, soul, and divinity in the Eucharist?   Do your words thoughts and actions reveal that you believe that?

I believe that every time our actions betray what we believe we are in essence denying Christ.  When I lie to someone, no matter for what reason, I am denying the truth.  Jesus Christ is the way the truth and the life.    When I don’t trust others to the point of anger and fear, do I truly believe that God is providing?   Those moments in which I think thoughts that I know I should not be I not offending the purity of God himself?  When before the world I act like the rest of the world, am I not denying my Christian faith?   To deny the faith, the Church, the teachings of the Apostles… all of these are in essence denying Christ.

Jesus told us that He would send His Holy Spirit to guide us in our ways and remind us of all things that He taught us.   If we were to truly take that gift seriously we would be asking God before every action, every choice, no matter how insignificant it might seem.   More often than not we take even the most serious life decisions into our own hands, asking every person we know what to do, but never consulting God.  Is that not also a denial of Christ?   How can we pretend to be keeping His commandments if we don’t even begin to speak to Him on a regular and frequent basis?

Another way I think that we can deny Christ is by not allowing Him into the world through us.  When we have the opportunity to perform one of those works of mercy listed in Matthew 25 but we refuse for any reason, we have prevented ourselves from being Christ to someone in need.  It is in our inaction that we, the body of Christ, prevent Christ from doing that which that person needs most.   When we do not be the hands, feet, or mouth of Christ, in a world that so needs his touch and healing, it is in that moment that we truly deny Christ.  In that moment that God could have interacted with those He loves, we were the one who blocked His presence and grace.

One more way that I think we can deny Christ, one that I struggle with maybe most of all, is by not allowing ourselves to be the one Christ reaches out to.   It’s easy enough to think that God is calling you to be the one who gives out the dollar to the man in need, the food to the starving, the clothes to the naked, and is called to wash the feet of other.   What if you are called to be the man in need and to go ask for money?  What if your stomach is empty and Christ asks you to humble yourself and receive from your neighbor?  Do you wander spiritually naked in this world without seeking those who can guide you back to His arms?   It is when we refuse the help of others that we also prevent Christ from coming through them into the world to us.

That is a hard thing for me to think about.  I was raised in a place where a man’s worth was directly tied to his ability to provide for his family.   Those who were on welfare or food stamps were looked down upon as lazy or no good.   I spent years working as hard as I could just trying to buy the newest computer or game, all the while making sure I never had to ask for food from anyone.  My mother and father would feed me if I asked them, and often I did eat dinner at their house.  I do remember being so hungry and so cold at one point that I stood in the basement of my home, with no power or water, cooking beans in a can on a wood stove.  I refused to go look for food from someone else.  I wasn’t starving, but I was hungry.  

Now here I am dependent on others for my food, for my home.   My wife works hard and travels when needed to put food on our table.  It took me awhile to get that chip off my shoulder and to realize that my worth doesn’t come from what I can provide.   It comes simply from being made in the image of God.  My wife loves me.  That never ceases to amaze me.   In her actions and words, she brings Christ into this world in the purest way possible.  In her eyes and touch, I feel that love, a love that isn’t conditional.  One that loves me as I am, broken spine and all.  It is a love that encourages me to go out into this world with whatever skills I have to be both ones who offers Christ and accepts Christ in the other.

I think that is the true message here.   That sometimes we are an offering of Christ to the other, and other times we are the one that is being offered Christ through them.  If we take a moment to truly encounter each other on more than a superficial level we will realize that we are both at all moments.   Just as Christ was fully God and fully human, He was both the sacrifice and the one offering the Sacrifice on that wood altar of the Cross.  That is what it means to confess Christ.   To become living examples of the Cross in each and every moment.  Realizing that even in our weakness we can be Christ to someone else, and in the smallest and most truthful ways our own road to Calvary can be offered as a blessing to the world.  It allows the Simons of Cyrene to come out and help carry the load.  By being receptive to God’s provenance we allow the Veronicas of our environment to run out and offer us water and wipe our fast.  Maybe even most powerfully, by dying well (not a popular concept these days), we offer those gathered around us a glimpse of Christ on the Cross that they too might experience conversion similar to that of the Roman Soldier who watched Christ take his last breath.

Are you ready for that awesome responsibility?    Christian discipleship is so much more than just a confession with the lips, it’s a mirror image of the life of Christ, being projected through our lives and into the world that still needs his message more than ever.   Do you hear John asking you today, “Are you the one we are looking for, or should we look for another?”  Like Samuel, when we hear the Lord calling our name in the silence of the night, are we able to say “Speak Lord, your servant is listening”?

His servant and yours,

Brian Mullins

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my rock, and my redeemer. - Psalm 19:14

Growing up I was taught that “tradition” was a bad thing. In fact, one of the Churches I went too prided itself on the fact it never did the worship service in the same way. (click the link hear more)

June 21, 2017
Memorial of Saint Aloysius Gonzaga, Religious
Lectionary: 367
2 COR 9:6-11
PS 112:1BC-2, 3-4, 9
MT 6:1-6, 16-18

Growing up I was taught that “tradition” was a bad thing.   In fact, one of the Churches I went too prided itself on the fact it never did the worship service in the same way.   One day they’d preach first, sing some music, then have an altar call.   The next day they’d altar call first, sing some music, preach, and then maybe even sing again!  At the time I didn’t realize that in and of itself was a tradition.  Tradition can be beautiful!   We humans seem to thrive on structure even though we often don’t realize it.   Having habits can be both good and bad.   Good habits increase our lives, bad ones send us spiraling down.

In both the readings today we are reminded that what we do not only has an effect on what comes back to us in this life and the next, but it also affects those around us.   Jesus in His message today isn’t condemning public prayer or worship.   He isn’t telling us that there isn’t a proper place to have the tradition or that we should just get rid of ‘religion’ altogether.   In another place, He tells us “Those on the seat of Moses are hypocrites, but do what they teach you not following their example.”  Clearly, He didn’t mean for us to stop having a relationship with God that showed the world we were different, holy and set apart.   What He did mean is that hollow religion, actions done for the wrong reason, are worthless.

That’s why it is so important that we actually believe what the Church teaches and understand why.   So many homes are broken and divorce has become something of a standard practice these days.   Don’t get me wrong, there are times when it’s necessary for sanity and health.   I myself am a divorced man who received an annulment and am remarried in the Catholic church.  I don’t expect anyone to stay in an abusive relationship, neither physical, emotional or spiritual.   What I do realize, especially as a stepdad, is that those broken relationships don’t just hurt the couple who split up…  They harm society itself.   The children are in direct line of the shrapnel from the explosion, and all their friends are impacted as well.  Our faith shouldn’t be hidden for the sake of hiding it.   It should impact every part of our lives and show a lasting change.   It’s not enough to say I believe all of these things and then be an impatient curmudgeon when the world encounters me... And believe me, I can be just that.

That’s what we can learn from Saints like the one from today.   This man knew his faults and would continue to stand with his eyes on the ground anytime a woman would be around him.  Not because he was shy, but because he didn’t even want to take a chance at having a lustful or improper thought.   He went on to die in the service of others, contracting the plague in a hospital while trying to help the sick and infirm.  His actions were all the public prayer he needed.   When we pray the rosary or the divine office in public, we must make sure we are doing it for the right reasons… not to be noticed, but to show our love for God.   In all instances though, we are to be at service to those around us.   Some think they should build a prayer space or a hidden closet in their home, and that’s commendable.  I have a few spaces set up in my own home for that purpose.   That shouldn’t be our only prayer.   Rather we should have a space set up in our own hearts, building a hidden room where all of our actions are lifted up to God with contrition and love.   That way our life can become a pleasing sacrifice, united with the Work of Christ on the Cross, and Our Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.

His servant and yours,
Brian Mullins

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my rock, and my redeemer. - Psalm 19:14

If you turn on the news today, you’ll find many young men and women who have everything they could ever want materially.... The money they have achieved, the fame, the drugs and the lifestyle haven’t brought them to some magical nirvana, but seem to have instead left them empty and broken. (click the link to read more)

June 20th, 2017
Tuesday of the Eleventh Week in Ordinary Time
Lectionary: 366
2 COR 8:1-9
PS 146:2, 5-6AB, 6C- 7, 8-9A
MT 5:43-48

If you turn on the news today, you’ll find many young men and women who have everything they could ever want materially.   Through their natural, God-given skills they have created careers that have lined their coffers and even those of their friends, families, and agents.  There seems to be a pervading darkness there that lies under the surface though.  From Miley to Katy Perry, we find that these men and women aren’t happy.   The money they have achieved, the fame, the drugs and the lifestyle haven’t brought them to some magical nirvana, but seem to have instead left them empty and broken.   Suicide is rampant among the rich and famous, as is drug use, pedophilia, and various other dark deeds that aren’t spoken of in polite company.  All of these things are a search for something to make them happy, something to give them hope.

Why then is it so hard for us to let go of the very thing that we know doesn’t make us happy?  It seems like every time I turn on the radio someone is asking for money.   The Church has a yearly fund drive, the Pastoral Council wants to build another house, the guy at the train station wants another handout, and my kids need this or that.  God has gifted me with what little money I have to make a difference in the world.  To care for my family and friends.   The simple act of being asked to give up some of that abundance that He has so generously given me is almost a litmus test to my commitment to the Church and to the Kingdom.   Do I have enough faith to let go of the providence I have already received in the belief that it will come to me again?   Do I believe God will follow through on His promise to always take care of me?

Paul has spoken the need of a monetary commitment to the community but Jesus, as He always does, gets to the root of the problem.  Do we truly love?  It’s not the ones who show us love that test our faith and our conversion.   The person who gets on our nerves, the one who we don’t know, the one who squanders their own blessings and then expects mine.   That’s when our faith is tested.   That’s part of what giving to the Church is about.   When we find ourselves saying things like “I’ve given them for every project, I’m not doing it anymore!”, we are stepping into that same trap.  We are holding to the money that will never bring us happiness, instead of giving and trusting in God to provide.   That doesn’t mean one shouldn’t ever consider where their money is going, or do their research to find out that it’s actually going where it says it is.   What it does mean though, is that the true stress test of whether or not you are a Christian is: do I believe the promises that Christ has given me?  Or am I just going through the motions?

His servant and yours,
Brian Mullins

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my rock, and my redeemer. - Psalm 19:14

There is beauty and a depth to the Sacred Scripture that is often missed by those who read it casually. For many, it is because they read it as if it were dictated by God as a set of rules (click the link to read more)

Thursday of the Tenth Week in Ordinary Time
Lectionary: 362
2 COR 3:15—4:1, 3-6
PS 85:9AB AND 10, 11-12, 13-14
MT 5:20-26

There is beauty and a depth to the Sacred Scripture that is often missed by those who read it casually.  For many, it is because they read it as if it were dictated by God as a set of rules, instead of inspired by God and recorded by those who were learning who God was with their own limited human faculties.  Some see the God of the Old Testament as being angry, violent, and rigid; while at the same time believing the God of the New Testament as being different: loving, kind, generous, and forgiving.   God doesn’t change.   The Sacred Scriptures grow in understanding, just as those who lived out their relationship with God grew in understanding.   The problem is our own minds often veil us from the true Spiritual realities of what it means to be in a relationship with God.  Sometimes the very use of words themselves often limits the reality of who God is and what He asks of us.

Saint Paul in his letter to the Corinthians describes it as a veil over the mind that prevents us from seeing clearly through to the purpose of the law.   When one reads the Old Testament on a superficial level, on a level that does not use Christ as the key to understanding it, they can confuse it with simply a list of dos and don’ts.   That was one of the major mistakes of the Pharisees and is still a common error today.   The law was not given to us to simply give us 613 rules to follow that God might separate us based on our ability to conform to them.   It was given to change us on the inside.   To make us into the kind of people who could live out the two great commandments as Christ simplified the law: Love God and your neighbor.

That is the line of thought that Jesus gives us in this section of the Sermon on the Mount.   It’s not enough to simply follow the “rules.”   We have to work on the things that make us break those rules.   Not simply to not murder, but to root out the evil thoughts and anger that make us want to do such things.   We can’t simply actively avoid committing adultery.  We must also stop thinking thoughts of lust and the viewing of pornography. We must always avoid desiring someone in a way that removes their human dignity and turns them into an object for our own pleasure.    Why?   Because these thoughts and actions offend the purity of God.  How can we claim to be in a relationship with Him if we do not act in a way that allows us to draw close to Him?  If our actions push Him away from us and hurt Him constantly?   Our relationship with God is still growing in understanding.  We still have a long way to go on human dignity when it comes to our relationship with the LGBT community, the refugee, the alien, and those who cannot speak or protect themselves.   The key though will always be Christ and internal change, not just outside rules and regulations.   That’s what the Church is for.  To help guide us through this world and give us guidelines that help us not just do external works, but to change who we are… that we might become more like Christ and more fully who God created us to be.

His servant and yours,
Brian Mullins

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my rock, and my redeemer. - Psalm 19:14

Why do things have to be hard? I was speaking to someone on the phone just yesterday about life. That was the question she posed to me. Why can’t some things just be easy? (click the link to read more)

June 12, 2017: Monday of the Tenth Week in Ordinary Time
Lectionary: 359
2 COR1:1-7
PS 34:2-3, 4-5, 6-7, 8-9
MT 5:1-12

Why do things have to be hard?  I was speaking to someone on the phone just yesterday about life.   That was the question she posed to me.   Why can’t some things just be easy?  Some things are easy but when everything is going wrong it all seems to gather and grow like an out of control snowball rolling down a mountainside.  It’s easy to get stuck in that mindset as well.  The thing is God never promised us a life without pain or sorrow.  His own Son suffered and died a horrible death after being tormented, abused, and ridiculed.    Somehow we think that Christ on the cross meant we wouldn’t have to suffer.  Christ, though, continually reminded us to take up our own crosses and follow Him.    Where is He leading?  To Calvary.   To our own deaths, our own suffering, our own difficulties for the sake of God’s kingdom.

Saint Paul reminds us in the first reading that we aren’t to simply suffer in silence or alone.   We are to share with one another not just the suffering but the blessings and fruit that comes from it.   Our attitude can be one of gratitude and growth, or sorrow and stagnation.   We can choose to come through our suffering or live in our suffering with joy.  How difficult that can be at times.   We don’t just roll over and accept our suffering without prayer, yearning, and effort.     We also don’t reject our suffering as some fault of our own sin but rather we can offer it up for the sake of the body of Christ.   That’s a beautiful Catholic teaching there, that I can continue to suffer as a prayer.   For some reason, I missed that as a Protestant all those years.   I believed completely in the statement of “Pray at all times without ceasing.”   Yet, would I have prayed and been filled with joy at suffering because it was a prayer as well?

Jesus reminds us in the beatitudes of the simple notion that our vulnerability, our weakness, is where God can meet us and strengthen us.   When we have it all together, what need have we of anyone else?  It’s in our sorrow, in our meek attitudes, in our poverty that we have need of a savior.   By submitting ourselves to His Holy Will, which is love and mercy itself, we open ourselves to His Spirit to change us.  When my stomach is full I don’t notice the food that lays around the house.   When I have been fasting for 23 or 24 hours it’s all I seem to notice.  The same with all pleasures of a sensate nature.   How then can we expect God to fill our lives with His presence if we are constantly filling them with our own hedonistic pleasures?  In a land of plenty, it’s easy to forget discipline.   To forget that in the sermon on the mount Jesus reminds us that true obedience to God, true adoption as Children of God, means being like Christ himself.  Meek, poor, humble, empty of our own wants and desires and filled instead with a heart to follow God’s will for us and the world.  Lord help me to have the strength to do just that.

His servant and yours,
Brian Mullins

I did it my way

I’ve told this story before.  The story of sitting on the riverbank of the Mississippi at the White House in Saint Louis, Missouri.   How that the sun was shinning, the birds singing, the river flowing it’s long easy strides.   That I was sitting there meditating on being thankful and how awestruck we should be at the generosity of God.   There I was having this beautiful moment of relaxation with the beauty of nature when the thought occurred to me:  This moment would be perfect if a deer would just walk out of the woods right now.  God had created a moment in which I could encounter Him on a greater level, a moment in which the temporal could touch the infinite… a perfect moment.   There I was trying to be God.

Our first reading shows us that times haven’t changed much in that regards.  Just like I on the riverbank that Mark Twain made famous sought to perfect a moment that was already perfect, the world tries to tell us what makes us happy.   Frank Sinatra once sang a song called “I did it my way.”  In that song he lauds that his life is coming to an end, and that he always did it his way.  Later in his life he was known to complain about the song.   His daughter said he described it as like having something on his shoe, something unpleasant that you just couldn’t get off.  It was too ego centric, too self serving.  It reminds me of that saying the kids have, “I’ll do me, and let you do you.”   You be your own truth, and I’ll be my own truth, and we’ll be both be happy.  Yet, very few of us are happy.

The Saints show us a different way.  In their emulation of Christ they instead put others first.   They put their egos aside and serve God and man instead.   They let their own wants and needs go to the way side.  They aren’t concerned with honor, or glory, or riches or fame.   Recognition at the end of the day is not their concern.   Mother Teresa was once told by someone that they wouldn’t do what we she did for a million dollars.  She replied, “I wouldn’t do it for a million dollars either!”   She realized that the true reward is not in the comforts of this life, but in the joy of communion with Christ.  Not just in Heaven, not just in the Sacraments, but also in each other.  In the faces of those distressing disguises that Christ is wont to wear: the poor, the widow, the orphan, the refugee, the sinner.

Christ on the cross shows us the fulfillment of life.   The Disciples were confounded when He said that it was near impossible for a rich and wealthy person to enter the kingdom of Heaven.  The Jews in first century Palestine, like many of the people today, had a sort of prosperity Gospel understanding of how things worked.   The more God loved you?  The more you had.  The less favor with God?  The poorer and sicker they were.  Jesus turned that on it’s head.  The first, the most honored, wealthy and powerful King of all times and places?  Died destitute on the cross.  The first was last in the eyes of the world, but the last in the eyes of the world? Is first and foremost in Heaven.    That’s true happiness… right there on the crucifix.   A man with no wealth, no power, no honor, no pleasure…. But living out the will of the Father.   Dying in the place of all of us as the greatest act of love in the history of everything!   

That’s our challenge as well.  To die to self that we might serve others.   Not to make God an afterthought… not to get everything else in order first, and then.. After work, health, retirement, vacation, school, kids and all the other things we add in there, to find a moment for God… Rather to put God in their first.. And then place the rest around Him and in His arms… That is lasting joy.

His servant and yours,

Brian

“He must increase, I must decrease.”

A reflection on the readings for daily Mass for Tuesday of the Twentieth Week in Ordinary Time:  Ezekiel 28:1-10; Deuteronomy 32; The Holy Gospel according to Matthew 19:23-30

I wish you were more like....

One of the worst mistakes we can do in a serious relationship is to compare the one we love with the past.  "I wish you were more like your (brother/father/mother/sister/cousin)...."    "When we were dating you would..."   "All you ever want to do is sleep, when I first met you we always..."  It's even worse if you compare a spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend to someone you used to be in a relationship with!  It demeans.  It tears down.  It hurts.  It's a failure to encounter that person in the here and the now and a grave mistake indeed.

C.S. Lewis in his journal titled "A Grief Observed" wrote of an encounter with a person from his past.   After his wife's death he had become somewhat of a social recluse and an old friend called on him.   He was excited at the prospect of seeing him after all these years.   After a few hours with the fellow he found that his memory of him was not quite the person he really was.  In fact, after seeing some of the ticks and quirks of the persons personality he realized that he did indeed remember that person after all... but his memory tended to leave out details.. to tailor itself to Lewis's own likes and dislikes.   It was an astounding moment when he realized that his wife was more now than any memory that he could have of her.   He was failing to encounter her in the now, and instead remembering her in the past.   Even though she had died, she was still with him in ways that were even more complete and astounding.

“All reality is iconoclastic[..]The earthly beloved, even in this life, incessantly triumphs over your mere idea of her. And you want her to; you want her with all her resistances, all her faults, all her unexpectedness.... And this, not an image or memory, is what we are to love still, after she is dead.” - C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed 

I think that when Mary Magdalene went to the tomb she was doing much the same by living in the past.  That's part of grief after all.   The Resurrection that Jesus had spoken of so often was simply a thing she had relegated to the future.   Even the vision of the angels speaking to her from inside the tomb did not bring her out of her funk.  The Master himself stood behind her and he failed to recognize him.  She was looking for an image of the man, one she had in her mind... but the real Jesus was right there before her eyes.   It took her hearing her name called by God himself to recognize him.   It took an encounter with God, with Christ in His resurrected form to jar her out of herself, out of her own thoughts.. and into the present.

CCC 2158 God calls each one by name. Everyone's name is sacred. The name is the icon of the person. It demands respect as a sign of the dignity of the one who bears it.

We as fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, friends and acquaintances must encounter Christ in the present.   To take time to look for him and listen for his voice to speak to us from the mouths of others.  As a parent I know just how difficult this can be.   To look for the image not only in the stranger but in those you live with every day.   This is the only way we can meet them exactly where they are and as who they are in order to journey with them through this life.   It takes stopping to listen for Christ to speak our name through the mouth of those created in His image.  Are we taking time to do this?

P.S.   Father Don Ahles' homily this morning touched on something that we should take note of, especially in light of what I wrote above.   Pope Francis has taken the memorial of Saint Mary Magdalene and turned it into a Feast.  That means that everywhere around the world it must be celebrated by Catholics.    He wants us to sit up and take notice of who Mary Magdalene really is, not who history has attempted to portray her as.  A grave error has been done to her image in that she has been confused with other women in the bible.  She was a wealthy woman who traveled with Jesus and helped support his ministry.  The Eastern Church calls her the Apostle to the Apostles.  She was not the prostitute but rather the woman who was delivered from seven spirits.  She then was sent to tell the Apostles themselves the good news.  We should take note of that too and realize that sometimes our image of her is clouded too and we need to encounter who she truly was that we may encounter who Christ is and what His message is to us.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

A reflections on the Mass readings for the Feast of Saint Mary Magdalene: July 22, 2016.   Song of Songs 3:1-4; Psalm 63; The Holy Gospel According to Saint John 20:1-2, 11-18

Lead me into the desert....

When I first got out on my own life was pretty good.   I was working a job at minimum wage.  I had my own place.  My own car.  I had a phone, internet, and food in the fridge.  Then I got a job making twenty five dollars a day driving a bus going to college.   The bills were getting paid.   I was eating well and had many friends.   The summer after I got my Associates degree I decided to get a job as an electrician.   I started making quite a bit more money.   I soon forgot how good life was at the start and began to live at this new level of 'wealth.'

It wasn't long until the bills weren't getting paid.  I had a lot more stuff for sure.   I ate more, partied more, had even more friends.   My relationships were getting more shallow though as I sought more and more enjoyment.  I was making more money than I had ever had.   I had a new car, well new to me.  I had plenty of books, a top of the line gaming computer, high speed internet, and on and on.   I was unhappy though.  Relationships started to fall apart.   Bills stopped being paid.  After a break up with a girl I thought was the 'one,' I took a job with a travelling electrical company and began to go on the road.  I went back to simplicity.   Life was starting to look pretty good again, and it kept getting better. 

The first reading reminds me of that journey.   The Israelites met God in the desert of all places.   In a land where they had to count on Him for food and drink.   They had a relationship and journeyed together.   Then He took them into a land of abundance and immediately they began to put more and more into their lives.  They turned from the one who would give them living water and instead tried to find that fulfillment in things. Just as I had done in my years as a young adult, and just as we tend to do today, we constantly look for that thing which will make us happy.  Sitting around day dreaming about what we would do if we won the lottery instead of looking for the gift that is already there... God himself in the Sacraments. 

The thing about the Gospel to me is that every person heard the same parable, every person encountered the same Jesus.  The Disciples, though, sat at His feet.   They didn't just encounter on a superficial level.   They wanted to be closer, to learn more.   They asked questions.  They journeyed with Him.   That's what relationships are about.  Time spent together.   That is why that little verse from Hosea is so powerful: "So I will allure her, I will lead her into the desert." (Hosea 2:16) This isn't God trying to pull you into the sparse desert to die.. it's a lover wanting to take you back to the simple times.. to where we met... to the beginning of our relationships.. to the way things used to be.  It's God calling to us to have an authentic encounter.  To remove all those things from our hearts that stand in the way of receiving the one thing that fits, the one thing that matters.   To get rid of all these empty, meaningless things... and encounter Him: in the Sacraments, in Sacred silence, and in His most distressing of disguises... the poor, the widow, the orphan, the sick, the prisoner, the refugee, the sinner and the saint. 

His servant and yours, 

Brian 

"He must increase, I must decrease."

A reflection on the daily Mass readings for Thursday of the Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time: June 21, 2016.  Jeremiah 2:1-3, 7-8, 12-13; Psalm 36; The Holy Gospel According to Saint Matthew 13:10-17

Oh Deer......

Recently on a silent retreat we were encouraged to meditate on thankfulness as we sat on this beautiful outlook, overlooking the great Mississippi river.   The previous afternoon during our one hour of fellowship I was telling my friends about the frog I had been meditating on the morning before.   They told me about humming birds, eagles, deer, rabbits, and butterflies.   How wonderful the diversity of life in this place! As I sat there watching the golden rays of the sun crest the morning sky, a butterfly passed by.   A red tailed hawk flew overhead and a rabbit scampered on the trail below.   The breeze was picking up and I was in awe of the beauty of the moment.  Then I thought, this moment would be perfect if a deer would just walk out of the forest right now.

How frustrating that must be for our Heavenly Father.   To be in a relationship with a stiff necked people who are never happy with what He offers them.  Here I was meditating on being thankful for the moment and even in that moment had notes for God on how to make it better, instead of just being content and happy with the beauty and grace I was already receiving.  There are times when I am just in an ill mood.  My wife tells me when I am in that mood she can do nothing right, nothing seems to calm me down.   How horrible that must be for her!  To not be the cause of my angst and yet be the one to receive the annoyances and ire. God gets even worse from us.

In the Gospel for today Jesus has brought to the people the glorious and wonderous news that God is offering forgiveness to all people!   Eternal life!  He offers it with a simple message, love God and your neighbor.  It's not a new message, but the same message God gave to Moses in the desert.   Simply live what you already know to be true and you can live forever in Heaven with God!  "You know what would make this message even better Jesus?   If you were to do a miracle here for us to prove it."  It was their deer.   Instead of realizing the beauty of what was right before them, God himself incarnated in the person of Christ, they wanted more.

He comes to us every day in the Sacraments offering that same salvation and He challenges us to live the message we already know to be true in our hearts.  As Moses said last week in the readings, It is not in some far off land or in the skies that someone must go and get it for us, it's right here in our hearts and on our lips.   Love.  Saint Camillus De Lellis, our Saint for the today, reminds us how to live that out.   By greeting Christ in His most distressing of disguises.   That whatever we do to the least of these, the poor, the sick, the widow, the orphan, the angry young man with a gun, the police officer shot in the line of duty, the family left behind... whatever we do for these, we do for Christ.   Are you ready to encounter Christ?   In the face of the sick and dying?   The old and the young?  The refugee?  The Muslim?  The Jew?  The Atheist?  We need to stop asking God to give us a sign to push us out into the world to do good, and just do good.    He's already given you a sign that goes beyond anything else you could ask for... He rose from the dead that you too might have eternal life.   Now go spread the good news!

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease." 

A Reflection on the readings for Monday of the Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time: July 18, 2016.  Micah 6:1-4, 6-8; Psalm 50; A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Matthew 12:38-42

I am a grown man, I'll eat what I want to eat!

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am meek and humble of heart;
and you will find rest for yourselves.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.
- Jesus

In my teens I attended an evangelical church that taught that these words meant that we were free to do anything and everything we wanted.   So I did.   If it felt good I did it, if it tasted good I ate it, if I wanted it? I took it.  That's freedom right? After all, freedom means being able to do whatever you want when you want, right?
 I want to defend myself and say "I wasn't a horrible person."   Yet, when I look back on some of the things I did I am not sure I can make that claim and be honest with myself.
True freedom is not being a slave to our passions and desires.   It means being able to say yes or no, regardless of what our minds or bodies tell us to do.  A person who is truly free can be chaste and avoid doing those things which his body desires.   They can avoid being a glutton, no more cake for me please, I've had enough.   They can walk into the flames of a fire to save another soul even though the pain of the burns they receive scream at them to run the other way.   That's true freedom, being disciplined enough and free enough to decide for yourself, regardless of what peer pressure, hormones, and all those other influences call for you to do.

The thing about a yoke that I did not realize as a teen is it is only easy when you go where it is leading you.  When we read that verse from Isaiah we see the path of the just is smooth and and level.  The just.  That is a person who lives out the justice of God, not a person who simply does what they wish.  When we go along with God's will, when we seek out that which is good and noble, that's when the yoke is easy and the burden is light.   That doesn't mean a bed of roses.   Today is the feast day of Saint Kateri Tekakwitha.  This young woman walked with the yoke of Christ on her shoulders.  In reward for it her people starved her, threw rocks at her as she went to church, and eventually she had to flee to a different area to live in peace.  In all of it, she went where Christ asked her to go.

The reason the yoke is so easy though is it's something we are innately wired to do.  Yes, there are those out there who have been broken by society, their parents, or traumatic experiences.  All of those are created in the image of God, we were born to live out the simple truth of God's justice: love.  When Moses spoke to the people earlier this week he said that the message we have received is not something lofty in the skies that we must beg a bird to go get it, nor is it something distant and hidden that we must send someone on a quest to find it, rather it is already on our tongues and written in our hearts.   We already know what is right to do, but we choose to do what is easy, what is comfortable.  Are you listening to God when he speaks to you?  Are you following the yoke when it pulls to the left or the right?  Or trying to forge your own path?

Saint Kateri Tekakwitha, pray for us.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

A reflection on the daily Mass readings for Thursday of the Fifteenth Week in Ordinary Time, July 14, 2016. Isaiah 26:7-9, 12, 16-19; Psalm 102; The Holy Gospel According to Saint Matthew 11:28-30

She died in her sleep...

My daughter knows that if she asks me for something to eat I will give it to her.  It did not matter if it was two in the morning or the afternoon, if she was hungry I fed her.   I explained to my wife that one of my father's relatives had a daughter who asked for another piece of cake very late in the night and her mother refused to let her have it.   She sent her to bed without that piece of cake.  That daughter died in her sleep.  To this day I will feed a child, regardless of what time it is, if they tell me they are hungry. 

Think of the boldness of those of us who proclaim that God is our Father.   In the prayer that Jesus taught us we say simply, "Give us this day our daily bread."   Recently when meditating on this I pictured myself as a child with my hands out, simply asking God for a piece of bread.  The image in my mind reminded me of the stance we take when going up to receive communion in hand. We place our hands forward as a throne, like children, like beggars.  In asking simply God rewards greatly, giving us not just bread, but the body soul and divinity of Christ.  He gives us more than we ask for, far better than we deserve.

As Christians we are called to live out our lives in the image of Him who we have been created in.  That is, we are to emulate God in our actions, in our thoughts, and our words.  That's a challenging thing when you think of the image of God as Father, as the one who is being asked for sustenance, peace, and tranquility.  He provides freely, generously, and more powerfully than we ourselves even expect.  Forgiving our sins, meeting both our physical and spiritual needs, while also helping us to move forward and grow into the person we are created to be.  We can find the source of that image in Christ himself. 

That's our challenge then isn't it?  To be childlike in our faith in that we trust God to reach out to us and give us what we need, but also to be the image of the invisible God to those who are hurting, frustrated, and lacking in their lives.  We ourselves receive Christ in the Eucharist, then we must go out into the world and share it with those who have not.  By giving food and drink to the widow, the orphan, the refugee... the moment they ask, and even more than they ask for.   Also, in giving spiritually to all in need.  This is what it means to love.  To treat people as a whole, not as a part.  To interact with them more than on a superficial level, but on a level that unites us as one body.. That's what happens when we encounter Christ at the Mass... are we allowing that to happen when we encounter Christ in His most distressing disguises? 

His servant and yours, 

Brian 

"He must increase, I must decrease." 

A Reflection on the Daily Mass Readings for Wednesday of the Fifteenth Week of Ordinary time: July 13, 2016.   Isaiah 10:5-7, 13b-16; Psalm 94; A Reading from the Holy Gospel According to Matthew 11:25-27

And you can too!

A reflection on the readings for Tuesday of the Fourteenth Week of Ordinary Time, July 5th, 2016.

Hosea 8:4-7, 11-13
Psalm 115
The Holy Gospel According to Matthew 9:32-38

My wife and I had a relaxing and beautiful Fourth of July.  She, Moira, and I road our bikes around town a couple of times.   First to eat lunch at Subway.  Then to go see Haley at work and get some of the vegan Italian ice she keeps telling me about.  It was a day of peace, reflection and joy.  A day to remember that we are free enough in this country that my wife and I can go riding downtown with our kids and not have to worry about being attacked.   She can wear exercise clothes and not be in fear of her life or being beaten for exposing too much skin.  A day in which we celebrate that freedom, but also have to think deeper.

The readings remind us about something that we often don't think about anymore in our society.   Americans tend to think that freedom means I can do whatever I want, I don't need discipline... if I want this I eat it... if I want that I drink it.   If I like this person I sleep with them.  As long as I do not hurt anyone else, what does it matter?  "You do you, and I'll do me."   That's not freedom though.  Freedom is not giving in to every single whim that your body, your desires, asks you to give in to.   True freedom is being able to say "I know I want that fifth doughnut, but I also know it's not good for me.  So I'm not going to eat it."   True freedom is being able to step back from your situation to ask, Is this good for me?  Is it good for them?  Which action leads to a long term good not a short term pleasure? True freedom must produce fruit.

  The stalk of grain that forms no ear can yield no flour

Though Hosea was talking to a people a couple thousand years ago, he could also very well give the same message to us today in the United States.   We have become complacent.   In our search to make freedom into our deity we have forgotten where we have been, who we were, and why we had become that people.  A Protestant reformer once said that a man should just sin because where there is sin, God's grace abounds.  So he encouraged people to sleep with their chamber maids when their wives weren't in the mood, or to eat till their stomachs were close to bursting in gluttony because somehow that made God's grace even greater.   That just doesn't seem right does it?  Why do evil so that good can come from it?  Rather than do good that good can abound?  When we forget our past... when we forget the things that have happened to us before... we fall into the same ruts.. the same sins... we stop producing fruit that is worth eating.. and become just a stalk of grain that has no ear... no flour... nothing worth eating.. and even what we have?  Is feeding the wrong type of person.

The Gospel reminds us though that when Jesus looks out on us, lost and confused in the crowd, He looks on us with compassion.  He sees us as a flock scattered in the mountains with ravenous wolves seeking to devour us on every side.  He seeks to find us, first and foremost with the call in our hearts.. but secondly by sending the Church to find us.. to guide us.. to give us discipline.. yes discipline.. that we might be truly free.  Sounds almost like an oxymoron doesn't it?  But true freedom comes form discipline.. it comes from putting our emotions, our desires, and our urges on the back burner and asking.. what is the true good that I need to do?  How can I produce fruit?  He calls us not just to be the fruit.. but also to be the laborers of the harvest.  That means that we first have to discipline ourselves.. but then to go out and help others to see the beauty of what Christ has to offer us.. by living it with joy, with peace, and with patience.  He wants to heal us... so that we can go out into the fields and help others to be healed too.

So are you doing that?  Are you working to produce fruit?  Are you trying to help others produce good fruit too?  That's why we Catholics consider it our responsibility to get involved in politics, in education, in all walks of life... why?  Because fruit is there... it's either good or bad... and we must stand up and say "This is wrong."  or "This is right!"  That's a fruit right there!  To stand up against the grain of what society tries to tell you is good and say "No.  That only seems good... and it probably feels good in the moment.. but it leads you to a place that is not good.. and does not feel good."  That's true love..... not just giving others what they want.. but rather giving them what they need.  The harvest is plentiful and abundant and Christ is calling you to go forth and help those who are struggling.. the ones who aren't producing fruit.. the ones who are falling away and starting to lose soil... starting to lose root... and saying Here, let me water you... let me feed you.... Let me serve you the least of these.. the widow, the orphan, the refugee, the sinner and the saint.... let me help till the soil and draw the bucket.... that you too might join me in producing the grain that Christ has sent us to grow...

That's our calling.. not just to think about ourselves... but to try to help every person we meet to come into a living relationship with Christ... to get to Heaven.... because that's the goal isn't it?  Starting with working on ourselves and our families... but then.. going into the world and living in a way that says I am producing fruit and you can too.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."  

Can you do the Robot?

A reflection on the readings for the Fourteenth Sunday in Ordinary time, June 03, 2016.

Isaiah 66:10-14c

Psalm 66:1-7, 16, 20
Galatians 6:14-18
The Holy Gospel According to Saint Luke 10:1-12, 17-20

Society wants to blur the lines between male and female, man and woman, father and mother, man and wife. They want us to be convinced that in order to be equals, we must do things in the exact same way.  As a dad I know that there is something more amazing about a mother's love, something that is sought actively by the children because of it's qualities, because of it's comfort.   Yes, there are differences and I'm not painting all men and women with the same brush.. but I do find that the girls want their mommy when they need comfort and their dad when they need something done.  Mom seems to be kinder, gentler, and more understanding.  Dad is often brash and abrasive, but will defend them with his dying breath.  The image we have in scripture today is of a mother, Jerusalem, Zion the dwelling of the Lord.

Oh that you would be comforted by a mother, fed by her, protected by her and guided by her.  Christ gave us the Church to do just that.  He didn't give us a book, for that matter He didn't write a single word with his own incarnate hand.   Rather He gave us apostles, He gave us the Gospel, which the Church then gave to us in book form.  The Church is our mother, our guide.   She is there not to create tension or punish us, but rather to guide us to that joy and comfort that God promises.  That comfort ironically comes from being disciplined.  True freedom comes from being able to make a choice with your intellect even when your senses and desires try to pull you in the wrong direction.  The Church gives us guidelines on what is good for us, what is going to make us "flourish like the grass." 

Why do we do that?  Not to earn the ability to do miracles, or to revel in the fact that demons tremble at the name of Christ, not even for being a healer or a speaker... or any sort of gift.   Those are secondary to the greatest miracle of all, the miracle of salvation.   That's right, Jesus' mission was not primarily to be a healer.. but to remind us that "in the tender compassion of our God, the dawn from on high shall break upon us, to shine on those dwelling in the valley of darkness and death, and to guide our feet into the way of peace."  Forgiveness of sins, reconciliation to God... restoration of a broken relationship.  That is the greatest miracle that Christ offers us.  He tells us to rejoice because our names are written in Heaven!  How beautiful a thought, oh how happy a day! 

He sends us out like the disciples.  Into the world to be witnesses to this forgiveness.  Not to be grumbling or complaining about that which we have received or have not, but to accept all things with humility and graciousness.  To pass blessings on those who you meet, wishing them peace!  Yesterday I was thinking about this during Adoration.   As I often do I prayed "God get rid of all that is me, and replace it with you."   I've always thought that a good prayer.  God seemed to say to me, "That is not what I am asking of you."   He doesn't want me to become a mirror image of Him, an automaton who simply does everything the way He does, when He wants, exactly as a robot.   If He wanted that, He'd have made that!   Rather, He wants me to be ONE with Him, as He and the Father are one.   I was bowled over.   He wants me to go out into the world as me, spreading the message He has given me, with the words that my faculties allow me to use.  

That's right, when He sent 72 out, there were 72 individuals.. all working together as one unit to provide one message.   Each one though was an individual, unique, loved by God... created with the personalities and temperaments that God desired them to have.   "He loves me for me!"   Jesus told me to stop using Him as a scapegoat and asking Him to simply take away my free will and instead have some discipline, to work to use the brain, soul and spirit He gave me to become the man I am made to be.   That doesn't mean that all Catholics will ever look the same, or sound the same.. or act the same... but we will have the same message, given with our own unique ability to say it, live it, and pray it.  Are you ready for that?  It's time to stop praying for a supernatural conversion that takes away those things we struggle with, and instead receive the grace that He has been pouring out on us to allow us to bolster our own discipline to grow closer to Him and further away from Sin.  

His servant and yours, 

Brian 

"He must increase, I must decrease." 

What is the least I can do?

A Reflection on the readings for Friday of the thirteenth week of Ordinary Time, July 1, 2016.

Amos 8:4-6, 9-12
Psalm 119:2, 10, 20, 30, 40, 131
The Holy Gospel According to Saint Matthew 9:9-13


I almost did not write a blog today.  You see, my summer assignment was to write three days a week and every Sunday.   Then I read the readings today after reading Stu and Robert's blog and was convicted by them to look inward and ask myself why I am just doing the bare minimum.  Other weeks I have written all five week days.   This week I just felt down, worn... out of energy.   I had just mowed my yard and was laying back in the recliner when my alarm went off to remind me that we had Eucharist Benediction at 7 tonight.   So I went.  I am glad I did...

"If we but paused for a moment to consider attentively what takes place in this Sacrament, I am sure that the thought of Christ's love for us would transform the coldness of our hearts into a fire of love and gratitude."
- St. Angela of Foligno

You see Amos was talking to the people about something that we ourselves are very guilty of thousands of years later.   The people saw God as a burden, the Sabbath as a loss of money.  They were just punching their card and looking good to the people all the while bemoaning the day of rest that God provided them.  Then they left the temple, left the Sabbath and fixed their scales and cheated others to make up for the money they had lost by keeping their oath.  How often we do that today?  "How late can I show up to Mass? Do I have to hear the readings? Or just be their for communion?"   "When can I leave?  Do I have to wait for the song to be over?  The blessing?  Or just for the priest to leave the room?"  "Do I have to go this Thursday?  Is it a holy day of obligation?"  "What can't I do on Sunday?  Should I eat out or stay home?"  Always looking for the least we have to do, instead of realizing the gift we have been given.   Instead of asking "How long can I be there before? What time do the doors open?"  "Can I stay for a few minutes after to spend time with Jesus?"



God warned them that this sort of life of just doing the minimum led to a loss... it would lead to a day when the word of God would be gone from their presence.  A day when creation would realize how horrible a thing had been performed.   That day was on Calvary just around two thousand years ago.  As the Word of God hung on a cross and pronounced it was finished, creation itself groaned and mourned.  The sky darkened as if by night, the ground quaked and shook, the temple veil itself tore from the top to the bottom.  A man standing at the foot of the cross was converted instantly as He saw the Word's demise before his gentile eyes.   "Surely this man was innocent."  What would that be like?  That sense of emptiness?  That sense of longing?   That moment in which we realize that something is wrong, that something is missing from our lives?

"Our hearts are restless, till they rest in thee."  - St. Augustine 

That is exactly what we experience when we sin mortally.   When the Word is no longer visible to us, when the universe itself goes awry and we are unable to find happiness.   The Word comes again to us in the Sacrament of Penance to make us whole, to complete us.  He is resurrected!    He wants you to be resurrected too!   That thing you are missing, that happiness and joy you are seeking.. is found right here, in the Eucharist.. in the Holy Sacraments of the Catholic Church.   Don't just punch your card.. find time for this relationship with the Son.   He wants to be a part of your life and you, you have been seeking Him from the moment of your conception.  It's time to put Him in your schedule first.. then add the rest of the things in your day around Him.   That's when we find joy.. that's when we find love...

So do they know you by that?   The Sacred Scriptures remind us that they will know we are Christians by our love for one another.  A saying attributed to Gandhi goes "I like your Christ.. but I do not like your Christians."   That's because what they see when they look at us alone is creation groaning... our soul darkened and shadow.. our very being quaking and the veil of our soul ripping as it cries out to the world the emptiness it feels when God is taken from it's presence..... Are you ready for Him to come in and fill you so completely that your heart overflows with joy?  It's the year of Mercy.. and Reconciliation is just a moment away.

In the life of the body a man is sometimes sick, and unless he takes medicine, he will die. Even so in the spiritual life a man is sick on account of sin. For that reason he needs medicine so that he may be restored to health; and this grace is bestowed in the Sacrament of Penance. - St. Thomas Aquinas

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease." 

How much is a pearl worth anyway?

A Reflection on the readings for Tuesday of the Twelfth Week in Ordinary Time (June 21, 2016)

2Kings 19:9b-11, 14-21, 31-35a, 36
Psalm 48
Holy Gospel According to Matthew 7:6, 12-14


When I was fourteen years old my grandfather gave me my first bible.  Not that we didn't already have bibles in our home, but this one was 'mine.'   I began to study it and go to bible studies on Wednesday nights.  A friend of mine invited me to a 'lock in' service at a Christian school in Wise, Virginia.   My mom and dad said I could go and I was excited.   Not just because I had a thirst for all things to do with God, but because here I was going to spend an entire night locked in a gym with kids my own age.  I did not realize that it was going to be a night that changed my life forever.

Halfway through the night they had an altar call.  I had no intention of going up but I found myself led to the steps.   I knelt down at the base of the platform and began to cry and gave my life to Christ to serve Him with all that I was.  I am still learning what that means, and I've made mistakes on the way, but I have never lost that passion that I felt that night, that yearning to be one with God.   I spent many years arguing, fighting, defending the faith in anyway I could.   I felt I had to make people believe, time was short and they just didn't see.   So I wanted to grab their heads, turn their eyes to Christ and demand that they open them and realize the beauty of what I had found.  It wasn't until many years of this struggle of trying to proselytize that I even began to realize there was a difference in what I was doing, and what I was called to do.   Evangelization.  An offer, not a threat.   An invitation given in peace and love, not forced in fear and hate.

The first reading reminds us of how the world behaves towards our God, our faith.  Hezekiah has just received a letter from an opposing King.  The letter mocks and taunts the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob.   What does Hezekiah do?  He doesn't try to force Sennacherib to see the light, he doesn't even try to speak to him, but rather he goes to his knees in prayer and asks God to deal with it.  Why?  Because Sennacherib isn't going to listen.   He doesn't care what Hezekiah has to say.   All the fighting, arguing, and shouting in the world will never bring about conversion.   That's because it isn't our job to convert, it is not our job to convict either.   It's only our job to offer to those who are open to listening.

God reminds Hezekiah that He is the one in control.   He will protect His children and not a single one will be lost.   Then through a miracle in the night the army of Sennacherib suffers a massive loss and retreats to where they came from, without ever a blow from mortal hands.  He promises this in the name of David his servant, for He has promised that the Kingdom and throne of David will last for eternity.   That's the promise that we true, the Church, trust in.  Jesus is the fulfillment of that, the eternal and everlasting King from the line of David that will sit on the throne of judgement for all of eternity.

CCC 303 The witness of Scripture is unanimous that the solicitude of divine providence is concrete and immediate; God cares for all, from the least things to the great events of the world and its history. The sacred books powerfully affirm God's absolute sovereignty over the course of events: "Our God is in the heavens; he does whatever he pleases." And so it is with Christ, "who opens and no one shall shut, who shuts and no one opens". As the book of Proverbs states: "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will be established."

Jesus reminds us that He is the one in charge.   This is not our fight to win, not our argument to battle.  Rather, we are to be fruitful and loving.  We are to offer relationship with God to those who seek it, and to those who don't?  Peace and service. Oh how often we fail at this.   Arguing fruitlessly with those who were shut off to the message before we even began to speak it.   What we have been given is a glimpse of Heaven.  What we have is a relationship with Him who transcends time and space itself.  Something more treasured than anything else we could ever receive.   To offer that to someone who doesn't respect it, who has no interest in even attempting to understand it, well it's dangerous.   It hurts.   It saddens.  To watch someone take that which we hold dear and demean it, to make fun of it... Jesus compares that to casting your pearls before swine. A pig will taste a pearl, maybe even sniff it, but then realize it's not food and just mash it into the ground.

Why do we do this?  Are we afraid that Satan will win?  Jesus has promised that the gates of Hell will never prevail against the Church.  God is in charge of conversion.  It is He who speaks to the heart.   We just share in faith when someone is open to it, and tell them of the great love and peace we find in Christ.   Then we give an example of that life through our actions.   We love.   We serve.  We feed, clothe, and give drink to those in need.  We have the unique and blessed opportunity to live in the Kingdom of God now, not just at the end of time, but right now!  God has given us the ability to do that by showering us with His grace through the Sacraments of the Holy Church, the New Zion.  Are you living in the place now?   That's where Mass takes you.  The book of Revelation gives you a glimpse of that eternity, that's why we in the Church follow that rubric of worship here and now... joining with the Angels and Saints around the altar of God with the Son of Man offering himself in Sacrifice at Calvary for our sins.   We then offer ourselves on that altar, joined with Christ, because we alone are not enough to appease the debt of our sin.. but He is.   This is the narrow gate through which we must enter.. through Christ himself.  Do you wish to know more about this "road that leads to life?" I am there to talk when you wish to hear.

Remember as well that parable about the pearl of great price?

Matthew 13:45-46
45 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, 46 who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.

Jesus is the merchant who sold all that he had.  He gave his life entirely for you.  He sacrificed all hnor, power, pleasure, and wealth to purchase you.   You are the pearl of great price.  Christian, do not allow the world to convince you to drag yourself through the mud of sin.  Rather hold yourself away from the world as a living Saint, whose dignity is that of a member of the Royal Family.  That we too might stand a chance to walk through that narrow gate into the Kingdom that is prepared for us, eternal in the Heavens.



His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease." 

Stirring the Flame

Today is the memorial of Saint Justin the Martyr.  A man who lived in the early church, back in the time when the Roman's were having Christians fight to death in the Colosseum.  A time of persecution and hate.  Justin after his conversion began to argue for the Christian faith.  Not argue like we argue today, but to logically and systematically debate with others to show them the truth.  He won over many souls, and failed to do so with others.  Eventually a man, jealous that Justin had beaten him with his logic, reported him to the government and he was martyred for his faith.  We still to this day learn the methods of apologetics, that is not saying we are sorry, but rather giving a defense for our faith.  "Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope." (1 Peter 3:15)

In the first reading for today we have a glimpse into the mindset of Saint Paul.  Paul is being persecuted and in prison, likely to die for his faith.  He reminds Timothy to stir into flame that gift which God has given him, that is the Holy Spirit.  It reminds me of those early movies in which cave men carried their embers with them from site to site.   Someone was in charge of that.  It wasn't a new fire that they were creating, but rather they carried the hot coals wrapped in protective sheets from place to place.  Rebuilding the fire over and over.. slowly coaxing it back to life with the proper fuel.  If they put on the wrong stuff, it would put out the fire.  If however, they used the fuel that it needed.. and slowly breathed into the embers, it would roar to life and produce fire.

I lived in a run down house in Virginia.  In the basement was this old, rusted out wood stove.  When I first moved in there I put in a gas stove, mostly because of all the work it took to keep a wood fire going.  Eventually, due to bad money management and silly circumstances, I couldn't afford the propane anymore to heat the house (not that it ever really heated it well.)  That winter I collected wood and stored it in the shed.  When I would get in from work I'd have to build a new fire.  Every day I'd come in from the cold and the fire would be out.   It took me most of that winter to learn to bank down the fire, to conserve the hot coals during the day.  Then when I got home I'd slowly build it back up.  A little tinder.   Some soft dry wood.  Eventually some heavy, hard woods to burn through the night.  It took time to learn how to stir that flame, to get it going without putting it out.   It took even more time to learn to be able to keep that flame going during the day.   It was so easy to forget to turn down the draft, close the vents and have just enough coal left to keep it going for the many hours I was gone into the world.

Paul reminds us exactly how to do this with that ember burning in our souls.   At Baptism we receive the Holy Spirit.  The Bible reminds us that the Spirit descended in tongues of flames, transformed the burning bush, and left Moses transformed and glowing that he even had to cover his face.   It is through love and self-control that we fan those flames.  When we sin, when we give in to our desires at any cost, that's when we begin to smother that light, to push that flame out of existence.  It is through saying no to those things which are bad for us, even when we want them so badly, that we slowly feed the fire.   A fire that does not harm us, but warms us and glows within us.. eventually glowing so brightly that others see it in us... drawing us to Sainthood.  The power of love and self-control.   How society wants us to go the other way.   To give in to desire, regardless of the consequence.   To simply do what you want, and let others do whatever they want.. but Christianity calls self-control a power!  How much harder is it to say no than to simply give in?  To be in control of yourself?

When we look back to the example left us by Saint Justin we see him reaching out to the world and spreading the Gospel.  We can look back at his description of Christian worship in the first hundred years of Christianity and be astounded that he describes the Catholic Mass.  For two thousand years we have been worshiping God exactly as the Apostles taught us to do so.  The Church has been teaching us that entire time that we must love God and one another, but also that we must have self control.   This has been handed on for generation after generation.  How then are we challenged to be apologists in the world?  How can we exercise that power of love and self-control?

First and foremost by living a Sacramental life.  Making frequent reception of the Sacraments a priority.  Not something we fit into our schedule once it's full of all the other things, but rather something that goes in first and our schedule fits around.  In receiving Christ in the Eucharist, encountering Him in the Confessional and adoring Him in Adoration; we are strengthened by love itself.   We come face to face with our own sinfulness and are challenged to do more, to do better.   Then we must take that Sacramental presence out into the world and become that presence to those in need.  The world is thirsty, it's seeking help.  It needs us.  That doesn't mean you have to go out and preach on the street corner, though there is nothing wrong with that.   What it does mean is that you have to fan those embers, feed them with love and good works, avoiding that which is ungodly and sinful.

This morning I was wondering how I might fan those flames.   How can I help the Holy Spirit grow in me by opening myself more fully to Him?  I stood in the grocery line waiting to pay.  A few people ahead of me stood a woman who was buying some groceries.  As they rang her up she ran her card.  Once, twice... three times.   It was denied.   "I just put money in here, what am I going to do?"  She was on the verge of tears.  I've been there.  I've had to have them hold the groceries till I could go home or to the bank to get cash, or even put back things to afford them.  I've been without food, and more importantly I know that feeling of draining you get when you realize everyone is looking and hearing.   Is it pride?  Sure some.  It's not a feeling though that I envy or want for anyone else.  Out of my mouth I heard the words: "How much is it?"   I didn't even mean to say it, it just came out. She said $19 something.   I said I got it.  I went up and paid for it.  The look on her face was worth more than $20.   She began to cry.  She said you don't know what this means and ran from the building with her two small bags of food.

That's how we fan the flames.  By giving in and letting Him speak through us.   By being a living Sacrament that shows the Living God.   By speaking, acting, loving in the way that Christ would to a world so much in need of that touch.    Are you ready to stir that flame?   To learn how to keep it burning even when we go out into the world?  Do you realize how precious and absolutely necessary it is to protect and guard it to keep it from going out?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

I'll Meet You There

In the early nineties I did a science fair project that got a bit of recognition at the local and state level.   It wasn’t that great a project when I think back on it.  I wrote some software for a computer that generated images based on Fractal Geometry and Iterated Functions.  Basically creating pictures from math.   At one point I got several awards and qualified to be sent to not only the State Science Fair but the International one in Biloxi, Mississippi as well.  I was ecstatic and so were my friends and family.   My mom and dad gave me enough cash to take everyone out to eat pizza.  Since my little Dodge Daytona was full already my brother was going to be dropped off at Pizza Hut with us and we would all celebrate together.

We drove the thirty minute ride back to Clintwood from Wise, Virginia listening to music, chatting and laughing.  As we pulled into the Pizza Hut parking lot we noticed that not only was the parking lot full but there seemed to be a line out the door.  My friend Michael suggested we go to another pizza place down by the post office.  I had never been there and they assured me the pizza was better.  Twenty plus years later and I cannot even remember the name of the place.   What I do remember is that we were having a great time until my mom came marching through the door with that look on her face.  You know the one where you are in so much trouble that you know not only your middle name is going to come out, but your last one too?  My brother had been sitting at Pizza Hut for over an hour waiting for us to show up.  I had completely forgotten him.

In my exuberance of being able to take my friends out to eat and my pride at celebrating my winning project I had forgotten him.   I had made it all about me.  Myself.  I.   I still to this day think about that day.  How my brother had to sit waiting for us.  How I didn’t even think about him.   How that I was so self absorbed that all that mattered was impressing my friends and filling my own stomach.  It was all about “what is in it for me.”   

That’s the image I get from the Gospel for the Mass today.  James and John seemed to be asking Jesus that very question.  “Hey Jesus, what is in it for us?”  They aren’t worried about the other disciples at the moment, not worried about the people who are following along afraid.  Instead they want a reward in the kingdom to come.   Jesus shares with them what their reward is going to be:  You are going to die.   James and John had just heard Jesus declare that He was going into Jerusalem to die.  They declare they can drink the same cup He is going to drink.  That’s a hard cup to think about, but they declare like we often do “We can!”  It’s easy to say, but harder to do.   Yet, they did.  All of the Apostles but one were martyred for their faith.  They drank that cup.

In Peter’s epistle he reminds us that we are challenged to love one another intensely with a pure heart.  I didn’t love my brother back then the way I should have.   I was too worried about myself, about my own needs.  Jesus declares that we must drink of his cup.  That means to die.  Now here in America at the moment we don’t often have to worry about dying as a martyr for our faith.   The challenge though is a spiritual one.  Are you willing to die to yourself?   To your own needs?  To look outside of yourself to serve the other?  That’s our call as Christians.  To be servants, humble and meek of heart.   To serve the widow, the orphan, the poor, the refugee.  To worry less about our own reward and more about our brother sitting alone waiting for a meal and companionship.  We have no idea who will be here tomorrow, so we must live in the present.  So are you ready?  Oh how easy it is to say “We are!  We can!”  But Jesus is saying to each and everyone of us: “You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the chalice that I drink or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?”  Are you ready to put yourself aside and let Christ live through you for those less fortunate?  With man this can be impossible, but with God all things are possible.  

We are called though to realize that Christ is in every person we meet, every person we see. "Whatever we do for the least of these, you do for me." How many times have you walked by your brother as he sat desiring communion, desiring a meal, desiring just a moment of your time? This time when I say I will meet you there, I’m not going to forget.  One day I hope that my brothers and I can sit across from each other at the Wedding Feast of the Lamb and share in that communion that is self giving, self sacrificing, and all encompassing.   

His servant and yours,

Brian

“He must increase, I must decrease.”