Lead me into the desert....

When I first got out on my own life was pretty good.   I was working a job at minimum wage.  I had my own place.  My own car.  I had a phone, internet, and food in the fridge.  Then I got a job making twenty five dollars a day driving a bus going to college.   The bills were getting paid.   I was eating well and had many friends.   The summer after I got my Associates degree I decided to get a job as an electrician.   I started making quite a bit more money.   I soon forgot how good life was at the start and began to live at this new level of 'wealth.'

It wasn't long until the bills weren't getting paid.  I had a lot more stuff for sure.   I ate more, partied more, had even more friends.   My relationships were getting more shallow though as I sought more and more enjoyment.  I was making more money than I had ever had.   I had a new car, well new to me.  I had plenty of books, a top of the line gaming computer, high speed internet, and on and on.   I was unhappy though.  Relationships started to fall apart.   Bills stopped being paid.  After a break up with a girl I thought was the 'one,' I took a job with a travelling electrical company and began to go on the road.  I went back to simplicity.   Life was starting to look pretty good again, and it kept getting better. 

The first reading reminds me of that journey.   The Israelites met God in the desert of all places.   In a land where they had to count on Him for food and drink.   They had a relationship and journeyed together.   Then He took them into a land of abundance and immediately they began to put more and more into their lives.  They turned from the one who would give them living water and instead tried to find that fulfillment in things. Just as I had done in my years as a young adult, and just as we tend to do today, we constantly look for that thing which will make us happy.  Sitting around day dreaming about what we would do if we won the lottery instead of looking for the gift that is already there... God himself in the Sacraments. 

The thing about the Gospel to me is that every person heard the same parable, every person encountered the same Jesus.  The Disciples, though, sat at His feet.   They didn't just encounter on a superficial level.   They wanted to be closer, to learn more.   They asked questions.  They journeyed with Him.   That's what relationships are about.  Time spent together.   That is why that little verse from Hosea is so powerful: "So I will allure her, I will lead her into the desert." (Hosea 2:16) This isn't God trying to pull you into the sparse desert to die.. it's a lover wanting to take you back to the simple times.. to where we met... to the beginning of our relationships.. to the way things used to be.  It's God calling to us to have an authentic encounter.  To remove all those things from our hearts that stand in the way of receiving the one thing that fits, the one thing that matters.   To get rid of all these empty, meaningless things... and encounter Him: in the Sacraments, in Sacred silence, and in His most distressing of disguises... the poor, the widow, the orphan, the sick, the prisoner, the refugee, the sinner and the saint. 

His servant and yours, 

Brian 

"He must increase, I must decrease."

A reflection on the daily Mass readings for Thursday of the Sixteenth Week in Ordinary Time: June 21, 2016.  Jeremiah 2:1-3, 7-8, 12-13; Psalm 36; The Holy Gospel According to Saint Matthew 13:10-17

Ever touch an electric fence?

A Reflection on the readings for Daily Mass, June 30, 2016.

Amos 7:10-17
Psalm 19:8-11
The Holy Gospel According to Matthew 9:1-8

When I was younger my grandfather kept telling me not to go down around his garden.   He had this electric fence that he had put in.  He told us not to grab hold of it or it would 'bite' us.   The funny thing was we kind of enjoyed it.  The thrill of doing something dangerous, something we shouldn't be doing... and even better, holding on to someone else who didn't know we were going to touch the fence.  For years I goofed around with that and even found myself as an electrician not being super careful around low voltage.  People warned me that it could be dangerous, the books warned me, my mind warned me, but I didn't care.  I kind of liked it, it made my arthritis pain go away.   Then one day I was wiring a light in a school in Kingsport, Tennessee when my arm brushed the aluminum ceiling grid. It wasn't a hundred and twenty volts, but rather two seventy seven.   I found a new level of pain, one I did not enjoy.. one that left me aching.. one that made me hear clearly in my head the sixty hertz cycle of the transformer.   I thought I was screaming, I was trying to throw it away... but I couldn't move.. I couldn't speak... I was paralyzed.  Eventually it let me go, but I had learned my lesson the hard way.

Amos has been warning Israel of the consequences of their actions.  In the first reading he tells them this is what is going to happen if you keep on the path you are on.  Like me and my little dalliance with electricity eventually it's going to catch you.  As a man whose dad was electrocuted when I was only five years old, you'd think I'd have had more respect for it.   I wanted it though, I enjoyed it.   Just like the society of that time, and even our society today, they are doing things that feel good.   They want them.  They don't realize how dangerous it is.  How much it hurts! Sin and it's glamour tends to draw us in, to paralyze us, to addict us.   We find ourselves falling into the same trap that St. Paul speaks about when he says: "Those things I want to do, I do not.. those things I know not to do, that I do."  It traps us in a cycle where we find ourselves coming back to the Sacrament of Reconciliation time and again for the same sin, the same old temptation.. almost unable to help ourselves.

Just as an animal becomes a stronger beast of burden and more beautiful to behold the more often and better it is fed, so too confession - the more often it is used and the more carefully it is made as to both lesser and greater sins - conveys the soul increasingly forward and is so pleasing to God that it leads the soul to God's very heart.
--Revelations of St. Bridget

That's the key isn't it?  We are unable to help ourselves.  It's only through Christ that we can be cured.  The Gospel reminds us today that when we are paralyzed and unable to move, that's when those around us must pick us up and carry us to Christ.  When we are trapped in sin and unable to get out, that's when we need the Sacraments the most.   We as Catholics have to help those who need God: society, our friends, our neighbors, our kids.    It starts though with a different person: our self.  All of us have some sort of pet sin, something that we haven't let go of.   It's that pesky beam in our own eye that keeps us from being able to see clearly enough to help someone else with a speck or a splinter.  We like touching that electric fence too much to stop.. even though we know it's going to hurt, even though we have tried time and again.  What we've got to do is sit at the feet of Jesus... and let Him say to us, "Your sins are forgiven. Go forth and sin no more."  Then to trust in that... we have to pick up our mat and walk.  

"In failing to confess, Lord, I would only hide You from myself, not myself from You."--Saint Augustine

Are you ready for that?  As a Catholic that's what Reconciliation (Confession/Penance) is all about.  It's about allowing the Church to carry us in on our mats, to place us at the feet of Jesus and when He sees the faith of the body of Christ he says "Go forth, your sins are forgiven."   That's the greatest miracle of all time.  That God has given us a way to not only move away from the electric fence, but to live knowing that any permanent damage isn't done.   If you need someone to carry you on your mat, call me.  I'll drive you.  I'll wait in line with you and hold the door for you when you walk in.  Then I'll get in line too, because I keep falling back on my mat as well.

His servant and yours,
Brian
"He must increase, I must decrease."

Kings Bishop to Knight 3....

A reflection on the daily Mass readings for Thursday of the Twelfth Week in Ordinary Time (June 23, 2016)

2nd Kings 24:8-17
Psalm 79
The Holy Gospel according to Saint Matthew 7:21-29

When I was four years old my dad was electrocuted in the coal mines.   His heart stopped for a while, longer than should have been possible.  Another man kept him going this entire time by doing CPR until they could get an ambulance there.  The road to recovery was long and hard.  I remember though, that it meant he got to spend time with us.  I also remember playing chess.  I was never very good at chess, but what I do remember is that in order to win you need to get rid of their key players.   Going after the pawns doesn't do much.  Getting rid of the queen, a bishop or a rook... now that gets you closer to check mate.

The King of Babylon in the first reading knew exactly what he was doing.  He didn't take every one away into exile, some of them he left behind.   What he did do was take those who had influence.   The politicians who knew how to run the government, the skilled foremen and laborers who knew how to plant, build, design.   Anyone who would help to rebuild society was taken away, leaving only the uneducated, the poor, those who could not stand up on their own.   He left the nation of Israel reeling with no leaders to stand up and lead the people out of bondage.   He returned them to a worse state of slavery than Egypt could ever hope to impose.  A hopelessness, a fear that left them unable to act, unable to move.

The enemy seeks to do the same to you and I every day.   He seeks to use fear to instill in us doubt, hopelessness, depression and a sense that nothing can be done to make life better.  He wants to take all of our virtues, our gifts, and drag them off into bondage.  To repress them so that we can't see the light of day.  Faith, hope and charity are the rock foundations of the society of our soul.  When we begin to falter in these he sees an opening, all he needs to do is get us to instead follow despair, doubt, and hate.  That's when our spiritual life begins to falter.. that's when all that is left of our own faculties are left reeling, unable to act, unable to move towards Heaven, toward's Christ who never left.

You see, just like the remnant of people left in Israel, Jesus never moved.  He has always been there, waiting for us to turn to Him for help.  To realize that He is the key, the Rock on which we can build our faith.   A Rock that is not just passively sitting there, but which helps us to build up and turn into a rock of our own.  Just like Simon Peter, who at one point gave into despair and hopelessness, to the point of denying he ever knew Christ; we too can be transformed into a new person.  God offers us a new name, no longer will we be Simon, but Peter, the rock who guides others to Christ.

First though, we must become the poor.  In many cases the enemy has already taken away our leaders, our craftsmen, and our laborers.  He has replaced the King in our heart with one he has appointed in it's place.  It's only when we let go of all those things we hold on to, all of those things that stand in the way of Christ being the center of our lives... relationships, desires, hatreds... when we become completely detached from the world and it's enticements and instead only trust in God... when we become the true poor, that's when the beatitude is fulfilled:

And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said:
“Blessed are you poor, for yours is the kingdom of God."

So what is standing in your way?  What has taken the place of God in your life?  He's not something you just add into your schedule when you find time... but rather, He should be put in your schedule first, and all the rest should be put around Him.  Christian, are you taking time to listen to Him today as He tries to lead you out of captivity?  Out of bondage and into the freedom of salvation?  He is offering you a Rock to build your spiritual house on.... are you taking time to set the foundations?  To receive Him so that He can mold you into a solid structure? Don't be a fool and build on the sand of the enemy.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Be Holy, As I am Holy

As we journey through Lent, one of the professors for our Diaconate class asked us: What does it mean to be holy?  I find this sort of reflection invaluable at this particular time as we struggle with temptation in our own deserts in preparation for our own Easter. 

Growing up as a Protestant gave me a different view on what it means to be Holy than I have now, though I believe it still influences me in that respect. My primary example of what I believed was a Holy Man would have to be, and still is in many ways, my grandfather. My grandfather was an old regular Baptist preacher and truly tried to live his life for Christ. He didn't allow many things in his home, from Biology books to “playing cards.” His way of life revolved around Sacred Scripture. He truly tried to set himself apart from the ways of the world.

I think that that in and of itself is a beautiful thing. The word itself, Holy, has roots that point to being set apart, being different. The Old Testament is filled with an example of how that God truly wanted his people to stand out, to be different than those around them. Holiness then rightfully boils down to one statement, though it is not limited to only it in anyway. I will take you as my own people, and you shall have me as your God. (Exodus 6:7) That is how I understand those 613 commandments presented in the Tanakh, as an example of how that the ancient Israelites understood they should behave in that relationship.

The Jubilee years, the Sabbath, the great Jubilee.. all intimate a way for us to do just that. Not only to reflect the extremely personal relationship that they were in with their deity, but also to allow them to do so in a way that reflected who He was. In sharing in His merciful outpouring of grace and forgiveness, they were able to be more like Him. That to me speaks volumes. That God, who did not need rest, allowed us to be able to not only take a rest when we frail humans needed one, but also be able to be more divine in our actions by doing so.

Then the Father took this even further by sending his Son to take on human flesh. By God becoming man he sanctified a way of life. Then speaking in His own words from the sermon on the mount he portrayed to us that propriety in a fullness that expresses what it means to be fully human. God has given us a path through the Beatitudes that exemplifies a paradigm that would change the world if embraced by all people. A paradigm that is best expressed by Jesus himself on the cross. Saint Thomas Aquinas in his eloquent method of speaking expounded on the four spheres of influence that tend to lead to sin. Power, Wealth, Pleasure, and Honor. He surmised that all sin is rooted in one or more of these temptations. Jesus gave us the Beatitudes as a perfect antidote to those spheres, then he lived them out on the cross. As a man on the cross he had no power, he was nailed in place. He had no wealth as they gambled for his clothing on the ground below. He had not pleasure but pain and discomfort. He had no honor but rather the death reserved for the most heinous of all criminals.

In today's society it seems that to be holy is seen as someone who simply attends church regularly, is a 'good' person, and doesn't judge others. To me, being holy has become something even more profound, that is to be more like Christ himself. We should be different, we should be a peculiar and a particular people. Not because we want to be, but because Christ calls us to a radical separation from the world in our manor and behavior. He calls us to Sainthood and a level of perfection that is only possible through releasing control of ourselves to the Holy Spirit. My Grandfather had a powerful idea of how to express that in his conduct and activity, but I disagree with some of his methods. That's truly the crux of the issue. To be holy means to be configured to Christ in our actions and our lives. That might look very different than how the ancient Israelites did it, and in fact it might look different based on our different vocations and stations of life, but it is a calling that every single Christian is called to. It does not mean that we will be perfect or immaculate, but will actualize perfection via a Sacramental life.

Food for the Journey

Tomorrow's Gospel reading is a familiar scene to most anyone who is familiar with Christ and Christianity.  It is the story of Jesus feeding a massive crowd with just a few loaves and fish. It reminds me of the journey through the desert.  When the Israelites left Egypt they came with just a small bit of food.   They had no idea where to turn for sustenance.  Even though God had just parted the red sea for them, it never occurred to them that God would provide.  They began to grumble about how they left a land where they at least had food every day, even if slaves.   Then, though they did not deserve it, God provided them manna from heaven.   These miraculous flakes of food appeared in the morning and all they had to do was reach out and collect them.

Here in the Gospel we see again crowds of men and women gathered together.  They had been around him seeking healing, seeking miracles, seeking answers.  For three days now they had not eaten food and Jesus was moved with pity on them.  Even though Jesus had just healed the sick, made the lame to walk, the blind to see, and had previously performed a similar miracle of feeding a huge crowd with very small amounts of food, his very own disciples still question where they are going to find food.  Just like the Israelites in the desert, it never occurred to them that God would provide. Just like in the desert, even though these people did not deserve it, God provided them with food for the journey.

John Chapter 6 gives us a glimpse into who Jesus truly is.  We as Catholics view this as the great Eucharistic discourse.  Unlike the Israelites in the desert who were fed with a bread from heaven, and the people gathered around this mountain who were also fed with a miraculous bread, Jesus tells us in the discourse that He is the true bread from Heaven.  He is the food that we must consume.  His wording here is strong and cannot be confused.  So strong in fact that people began to ask who this man was asking them to eat his flesh and drink his blood.  He did not say, "Oh I mean it figuratively.  Don't be silly."  No, rather he reaffirms it and tells them "You must gnaw on my flesh or you have no life in you."  Many of his disciples departed.  Instead of chasing after them informing them they misunderstood, he looked at the Apostles and said "You going with them?"

Peter's response is so telling.  "To who else would we go, you have the words of eternal life."  Indeed.  Here we are on our own journey.  Advent is a reminder of what the world was like before the Messiah was born.  It is also a reminder that we too must examine ourselves daily to make sure we are bringing about God's kingdom, that like the Blessed Mother, we try to bring Christ into the world.  We do this through our actions.  We do this through our faith. We do this through the way we live and breath.  Every moment can be a prayer delivered to God.  Jesus Christ is the bread that feeds us on this journey.  In the Eucharist we receive everything we need.  We receive Christ himself, a food so powerful that we do not consume it, it begins to instead transform us.  Even though we do not deserve it, God is daily providing us with food for our journey.

When you are at Mass, picture yourself on the mountain with Christ lifting up the loaf to bless it.  As the Host is elevated by the Priest, think of what this truly means.  You are about to be fed by Christ himself, with Christ himself.  Does it occur to you that all he asks of you is possible?  That these trials and tribulations you are going through right now are nothing compared to the gift you have received?  He asks the disciples how they will feed a couple thousand people, and it does not occur to them that He can do anything.  How much more so do we fail to think in our most dire times that He can do anything?  When he asks us, "How do you think we can do this?"  Do we respond, "God there is no way it can happen, we don't have enough bread."  "We don't have enough money."  "We don't have enough faith."  "We don't have enough time."   Or do we say, "Lord I don't know you are going to manage this, but I know I will be taken care of."

Then at that moment, the first reading becomes real and God's Kingdom is made present to us:

On that day it will be said:
“Behold our God, to whom we looked to save us!
This is the LORD for whom we looked;
let us rejoice and be glad that he has saved us!”
For the hand of the LORD will rest on this mountain.

His servant and yours,
Brian

An Evil and Perverse generation

The Readings for Monday of the 28th Week of Ordinary time can be found here.

In Monday's Gospel reading we find Jesus proclaiming that "This generation is an evil generation; it seeks a sign, but no sign will be given it, except the sign of Jonah."  These words seem to  make a lot of sense to us as Christians 2000 years later looking back on these amazing and miraculous events in first century Palestine.   How though would these men have reacted to hearing this statement though?  First and foremost, who was Jonah and what does that have to do with them?

If we look back at the story of Jonah we see a man who was called by God.   He was called to go preach to the Ninevites.  Jesus just compared the men listening to Him, the ones demanding a sign to these Ninevites.  Who were they?  They were a despised race.  The war driven enemies of the Israelites.  The Assyrians. In 722 B.C. the Assyrians had completely conquered most of the Israelite people and took them captive.   This led eventually to the destruction of the temple during the Babylonian captivity.  Here Jesus is comparing the people standing around him to the Ninevites, the very people they would have blamed for the start of the worst time in Jewish history.  The temple was everything!  That was where God was, and here Solomon's temple had been completely destroyed as a result of the Ninevites. 

The story of Jonah itself took place before that event.   Jonah himself also didn't want to reach out to the Ninevites.  They were the "Las Vegas", the Sin City of their time. The darkest of the dark.  The cruelest of the cruel.  They were the enemy.   He would rather have seen God's justice rain down on them from on high, destroying them entirely.  In the Veggi Tales version, we see Jonah sitting up on a very high place watching for this very thing to occur.  They were Jonah's other, the enemy, "them." Time had not changed this and if anything, the Assyrian people were more hated by the contemporary Jew of Jesus time. 

Then we have the very nature of the sign of Jonah itself.   Jonah of course, we all know is the story of the man who ran from God and was swallowed by a fish for 3 nights and 3 days.   Here we have Jesus telling the people around him that Jonah, who ran from God at first, when he came to do God's will was completely successful in God's endeavor.  The people of Nineveh immediately repented of their sin and hard hearts, putting on sack cloth and ashes.  Jesus, who came performing miracles, and from the very outset of his ministry was completely obedient to God... was watching those around him not turn their hearts. 

He was both predicting his own death and resurrection, but also warning them that they were accountable for their refusal to hear his message.  Here was the rub of what he said, he in effect said "Those sinners, the worst ones you can think of, the people you hate the most, your very enemies... listened to God before you will.  They were the ones who came to God, and you refuse to hear me.  So I will show you the same sign that God showed them, for three days and three nights I will be lost to the world.  Then I shall be found again, in your presence, and my message of repentance will call out to you." 

What does this all mean to us?   How do we actualize this to our lives?  When Jonah came to call the Ninevites to repentance, the message was "40 days more and this city will be destroyed."  We have a similar call to repentance, in which we hear the "wages of sin is death."   We, just like the Pharisees gathered around Jesus in the Gospel are called to repent.   Our city, our earthly body, is eventually going to be destroyed.  For it is appointed unto man, once to die.  We all have that in common, but we all have a choice.  We can continue on in our sin and not worry, refusing to hear and believe in the sign of Jesus Christ, in the resurrection that frees us from the impending death for eternity; or we can turn from our sin like the Ninevites and trust in God's promise.

Which brings us back to the First reading:

Through him we have received the grace of apostleship, 

to bring about the obedience of faith,

for the sake of his name, among all the Gentiles,

among whom are you also, who are called to belong to Jesus Christ;

to all the beloved of God in Rome, called to be holy.

You are called to be Holy.   You are called to belong to Jesus Christ. Do you follow Him?  Or reject him? What do you choose?

In Christ,
Brian