Ever touch an electric fence?

A Reflection on the readings for Daily Mass, June 30, 2016.

Amos 7:10-17
Psalm 19:8-11
The Holy Gospel According to Matthew 9:1-8

When I was younger my grandfather kept telling me not to go down around his garden.   He had this electric fence that he had put in.  He told us not to grab hold of it or it would 'bite' us.   The funny thing was we kind of enjoyed it.  The thrill of doing something dangerous, something we shouldn't be doing... and even better, holding on to someone else who didn't know we were going to touch the fence.  For years I goofed around with that and even found myself as an electrician not being super careful around low voltage.  People warned me that it could be dangerous, the books warned me, my mind warned me, but I didn't care.  I kind of liked it, it made my arthritis pain go away.   Then one day I was wiring a light in a school in Kingsport, Tennessee when my arm brushed the aluminum ceiling grid. It wasn't a hundred and twenty volts, but rather two seventy seven.   I found a new level of pain, one I did not enjoy.. one that left me aching.. one that made me hear clearly in my head the sixty hertz cycle of the transformer.   I thought I was screaming, I was trying to throw it away... but I couldn't move.. I couldn't speak... I was paralyzed.  Eventually it let me go, but I had learned my lesson the hard way.

Amos has been warning Israel of the consequences of their actions.  In the first reading he tells them this is what is going to happen if you keep on the path you are on.  Like me and my little dalliance with electricity eventually it's going to catch you.  As a man whose dad was electrocuted when I was only five years old, you'd think I'd have had more respect for it.   I wanted it though, I enjoyed it.   Just like the society of that time, and even our society today, they are doing things that feel good.   They want them.  They don't realize how dangerous it is.  How much it hurts! Sin and it's glamour tends to draw us in, to paralyze us, to addict us.   We find ourselves falling into the same trap that St. Paul speaks about when he says: "Those things I want to do, I do not.. those things I know not to do, that I do."  It traps us in a cycle where we find ourselves coming back to the Sacrament of Reconciliation time and again for the same sin, the same old temptation.. almost unable to help ourselves.

Just as an animal becomes a stronger beast of burden and more beautiful to behold the more often and better it is fed, so too confession - the more often it is used and the more carefully it is made as to both lesser and greater sins - conveys the soul increasingly forward and is so pleasing to God that it leads the soul to God's very heart.
--Revelations of St. Bridget

That's the key isn't it?  We are unable to help ourselves.  It's only through Christ that we can be cured.  The Gospel reminds us today that when we are paralyzed and unable to move, that's when those around us must pick us up and carry us to Christ.  When we are trapped in sin and unable to get out, that's when we need the Sacraments the most.   We as Catholics have to help those who need God: society, our friends, our neighbors, our kids.    It starts though with a different person: our self.  All of us have some sort of pet sin, something that we haven't let go of.   It's that pesky beam in our own eye that keeps us from being able to see clearly enough to help someone else with a speck or a splinter.  We like touching that electric fence too much to stop.. even though we know it's going to hurt, even though we have tried time and again.  What we've got to do is sit at the feet of Jesus... and let Him say to us, "Your sins are forgiven. Go forth and sin no more."  Then to trust in that... we have to pick up our mat and walk.  

"In failing to confess, Lord, I would only hide You from myself, not myself from You."--Saint Augustine

Are you ready for that?  As a Catholic that's what Reconciliation (Confession/Penance) is all about.  It's about allowing the Church to carry us in on our mats, to place us at the feet of Jesus and when He sees the faith of the body of Christ he says "Go forth, your sins are forgiven."   That's the greatest miracle of all time.  That God has given us a way to not only move away from the electric fence, but to live knowing that any permanent damage isn't done.   If you need someone to carry you on your mat, call me.  I'll drive you.  I'll wait in line with you and hold the door for you when you walk in.  Then I'll get in line too, because I keep falling back on my mat as well.

His servant and yours,
Brian
"He must increase, I must decrease."

Happy Thanksgiving!

What does it mean to be thankful? That is something that is heavy on my heart the past few days.  As we approach the holiday of Thanksgiving, it is something I think all of us should be thinking about.  Someone challenged me to do this thirty day challenge on Facebook.  That is, for around thirty days I have been attempting to come up with something each day to be thankful for.  Doesn't sound too hard does it?  The first few days didn't require much thought at all.  It was easy to come up with a blessing.  I could just look around at some relationship I had, some thing I had been given, some good event that was in my life.   All of these were evident and stood out.  After twenty days though, I began to have to spend more time thinking of something to be thankful for.

Tomorrow's reading for Thanksgiving reminds us of the ten lepers who had a great deal to be thankful for.  These men had been ostracized from community.  They were in pain and diseased.  Their family and friends probably didn't get to come close to them for fear of catching the disease.  They could have been friends, brothers, sons, fathers, uncles. Jesus healed them.  On their way to see the priest they were completely cured of their disease.  Only one of them returned to see Jesus.  Only one truly went to the priest and showed himself clean. The others sought God when they needed him, once cured they ran off to live their lives. 

How often do we do that ourselves?  We give thanks for the good, but we ignore the bad.  We seek God when we have needs.  Then when everything is going smoothly we don't have time for all that religious stuff.  When I first had my back surgery I was very disappointed.  Here I was, a relatively young man, having almost my entire spine fused.  I prayed to God that I wouldn't have to do it.  I still did.  I got a little upset later, because I was now bedridden for quite some time.   I had to have a brace on just to sit up.  My wife had to help me to the bathroom.  Help me take sponge baths.  Help me do just about everything.  At first I couldn't even have wrinkles in the sheets. My back hurt so bad the slightest fold in the fabric would bring me to tears.  My wife patiently stood by my side and helped me through this time.

If you had asked me then are you thankful for your surgery?  I would have become angry.  The thing is, I was one of the nine.   I wasn't thankful for what God had given me.  This surgery was a gift that I could not see.  So I went off to do my own thing.  I can look back now and see how much of a blessing this was.  Sure, sometimes I can't put my shoes on myself.   Some days I can barely bend over and someone has to hand me things off the floor.  Some days I have to have help taking my shirt off.  I still find that wrinkles in the sheets can cause me some pretty intense discomfort.  How can I be thankful for this? 

As a result of my surgery I was able to watch my daughter take her first steps.  I got to spend time with her.  I got to teach her.  I got to hold her when she got her first scrape.  I got to watch as her sisters taught her to ride a bike.  I got to watch them go through their firsts too.  I got to change diapers.  More diapers than I ever wanted to see.  I got to see my nieces, Liaden and Fianna, go through some of their firsts. I got to spend time with all of their siblings that I would not have been able to do otherwise.  I have been able to spend time studying, lead bible studies, prayer groups, faith sessions, and even hope to become a Deacon.   All of these things I might not have been able to do because of something I did not see as a blessing. 

What about you?  Are there things going on right now that seem like a curse?  Things that aren't going the way you want them to?  Are you thankful for them? It's not too late.  I too need to look at my life and ask, where have I not given thanks?  Then, like the one foreigner, glorify God in a loud voice; and fall at the feet of Jesus and thank him.

His servant and yours,

Brian

Veronica's Veil

This morning during my daily walk I was meditating on the Sorrowful mysteries, one that struck
particularly powerfully this morning was the Carrying of the Cross. I began to visualize as I walked and my mind was drawn to one scene in particular, that of Veronica and her veil.  Now not everyone knows the story of Veronica, but here is the legend:

The story of Veronica is not told in the gospels, but in early apocryphal writings. An early 2nd century version of The Acts of Pilate reports that a woman named Veronica (Bernice, in the Greek version) was the same woman Jesus cured of a blood disorder (Matthew 9,20-22), and that she came to his trial before Pilate to claim his innocence.

Later versions of the story from the 4th or 5th century say that Veronica possessed a cloth imprinted with the face of Jesus. Western pilgrims returning to Europe passed her story on. As the Stations of the Cross developed in late medieval times, Veronica was remembered at the 6th Station: she wipes the face of Jesus on his way to Calvary and he leaves an image of his face on her veil. A healing relic, impressed with the image of Jesus' face, which came to be known as "Veronica's Veil," was honored in St. Peter's Church in Rome as early as the 8th century.  - Stations of the Cross

As I went through the day I kept being reminded of this early morning meditation of mine, and wondering how it all tied together.  Then as I began to read and meditate on a chapter of "My Other Self" it all begin to fall into place.  So let me guide you through the thoughts I've been having today.

Veronica approached the Lord as he walked silently on the path to Calvary.  Simon the Cyrenien was carrying his cross and our Lord was the point where mortal flesh was ready to give way, and death seemed a welcome sight.  His body ripped and torn, beaten and bruised.  Spit from those who teased him ran down his face and his beard was hanging in tattered strips where they had plucked and berated him.  The thorns had worked their way deeper into his flesh, and by carrying the cross the agony of the flayed skin on his back had him wracked him pain beyond all measure. She walked up gently, bravely.   She reached out to him with a beautiful cloth and began to lovingly cleans his face.

Oh the gesture of love from this woman to her Savior, as she cleansed away the blood, sweat and tears.  As she removed the dirt and grim from his face from where he had fallen into the street.  She carefully wiped so as not to cause more pain, wincing herself as she crossed the wounds to his cheeks and forehead.  Tears filled her eyes as she saw how much he suffered for her.  The guards began to beat Jesus and she backed away with tears in her eyes, her breath catching.  She clutched this veil to her chest and fell to her knees flooded with grief and agony to see the King of the Universe, brought to such a pitiable state.

What does this tell us about our lives?  How do we apply this revelation to our walk with Christ?  Jesus told us "Whatever you do for the least of these you do for me."  If we look at this as a spiritual truth, and we look at the cross to Calvary in the light of the Sin which Jesus bore for us, it begins to show us a tender reality of how we are to deal with sin in our community, and how far we've fallen from that ideal.

When someone sins they begin to get covered in the grime of the world.  The dirt covers their face and mixes with the blood, sweat, and tears caused by and gained through that Sin.  It begins to sting their eyes and their face, making it hard to see the path ahead of them.  They may not even be able to carry their cross at this point, too weak to go on.  They can't see where they are going, or even think of where they've been.  All they know is pain.

If we truly are to be to that person as if they were Christ, it's our job to gently and lovingly caress their face with a cloth of cleansing.  How gently and lovingly would you touch the face of Jesus if he were before you in such a state?  Would you push into his wounds gratingly, demeaning him even further?  Or would you look on with understanding, with sorrow, with your breath catching and your eyes full of tears?  Would you fall to your knees in grief and agony and cry with them, as others in the community help them pick up their cross and continue on their walk towards God's will? Would you watch as they journey on clutching the cloth of the experience of having known them to your chest as a treasured possession?

Ah how short we fall.  Not only do we often not want to carry the cross of someone else, we don't even want to see them in a pitiable state.   We treat them as some outsider, the other, THEM.   We ostracize them and verbally berate them.   We talk about them behind their backs and instead of cleansing their face with a refreshing touch of love, we throw more dirt in their eyes and make them stumble away under their cross to try to get away from your glare.  We close our doors and hearts, barricading ourselves away, afraid we might get a bit of their stain on ourselves.

Brothers and sisters, this is not how it should be.  Today, and the rest of our lives, let us try to see Jesus in every person we meet.. and if we must address their sins (and sometimes it's absolutely necessary), let us do it as gently as we would wipe the face of Christ, let us lovingly remove the dirt, blood, sweat and tears from their eyes so that they can see clearly the path before them.. and let us cherish every moment of those encounters, as we help carry the cross of someone who has fallen.

Division? Fire? Who is leading your life?

Jesus said to his disciples:

“I have come to set the earth on fire,

and how I wish it were already blazing! 

There is a baptism with which I must be baptized,

and how great is my anguish until it is accomplished! 

Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth? 

No, I tell you, but rather division. 

From now on a household of five will be divided,

three against two and two against three;

a father will be divided against his son

and a son against his father,

a mother against her daughter

and a daughter against her mother,

a mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law

and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.” 

This reading is the reading for today's mass for Catholics all over the world. It's a reminder to us that Jesus message is not an easy one. It divides friends, families, even nations. We see it in our own Christian walks as we meet other Christians, who are divided from us in our beliefs... all of them believing in Jesus, but finding different interpretations from those that their other brothers and sisters hold. As Jesus quoted Micah to his followers, it makes me wonder if they had any inkling of how true this statement was? How the Word expressed himself to mankind, knowing that they would divide because of their own hardness and stubbornness of heart. Something to meditate on today: Is the division I see in my life caused by a rejection of the truth that Jesus is the Messiah, God's only begotten son? Or is the hardness of my own heart the cause of some of those divisions?

The Bars of Life

I thought he was gone,

This prisoner of war. 

In the dark night of the soul

A personal Darfur

An angry, dark man

Seeking for that happy day

Tripping down the ladder

Falling along the way

Thought to be in control

Truly tis but a myth

With St. Paul I cry out

My soul a vile pith

That I know to do

That I do not

A darkness creeps in

My essence of rot

There he is again

The man I thought I lost

A super hero, invisible

A heart of frost

Seeking freedom from this prison of sin

Found only in the word of the Lord

But truly as our Master has said

Tis a painful two edged sword. 

Strong Enough to Bend

Do you remember Tanya Tucker? I remember her wonderful voice projecting from the speakers of my dodge Daytona. Tonight, the lyrics of one of her songs came back to my mind in a jarring moment of pain.

There's a tree out in the backyard

That never has been broken by the wind

And the reason its still standing

It was strong enough to bend

"Strong Enough to Bend"

I woke up in the heat and walked into the living room. We have company, family from out of town, so both couches (and even a mattress in the middle of the floor) are filled with young kids. Someone had brought one of the plastic lawn chairs in and placed it in the corner. I sat down and began watching whatever was on the television, and before I knew it had returned to dreamland.

A few minutes later, I was startled awake with a painful reality. One of the legs of this cheap plastic chair had broken. There I was in an almost comical situation, except I was trapped, and my back does not bend. I was pinned between my own weight and the wall and my back was trying to bend under the weight. Since the titanium rods do not give...

Needless to say it was not just embarrassing, but quite a bit painful. My wife was awakened (I don't know if I made some kind of sound, or if God simply called her to my side, but I thank Him and her both) and she came in and helped me get out of this situation. As I lay there on the floor, still recovering from the pain of the pressure, I thought.. God I don't bend that way...

It struck me though that there was indeed a lesson to be learned. Much like the rods in our back, the Holy Spirit we are infused with as baptized believers of Christ, doesn't bend. It strengthens our spiritual core and it keeps us 'straight'. When we then who are filled with His Spirit try to do things that are against that nature, against the Spirit, it should hurt.. it should be uncomfortable.. it should be a little embarrassing.. and yes, we should be declaring in a painful gasp of breath "God, my soul doesn't bend that way!"

Thank you Lord for this lesson, I pray that I have learned it enough that I do not need another refresher!

His servant, and yours;

Brian