The Junk on the Bottom

When I was a child I used to love going fishing with my dad.   I remember one particular trip in which we used a net to gather shad to use as 'live' bait.  My dad would stand on the front of the boat working patiently to get the net just right in his hand.  Then he'd throw it out in a graceful arc and it would land open in the water.  He'd try to teach us to do the same but I was never patient, always rushing and just ended up throwing a clump of string into the lake.  Then we would draw it back in.   Sometimes it would have shad in it.  At other times a piece of tree branch, some algae, slime, or even the occasional piece of garbage.  There is something about going out and doing something together with a parent that just builds memories.

To me this parable from Jesus reminds us of our own spiritual lives.  God loves us just as we are, and asks us to come as we are.   The thing is: He loves us too much to leave us there.   He wants us to grow.  To become more Holy.  To become Saints.  Our lives are often like a net.  Everything that we are dragged by leaves an impression, a memory.   What we listen to, what we see, what we read... all of this influences our mind, our memory.  It is indiscriminate on what it picks up.  A detail here, a smell there, a vision here.  We need to be vigilant in seeking out those things which are good for us, and avoiding that which is bad.  We spiritually have to search through our nets looking for that which is food, and discarding that which is not.

The other thing that I think is probably most important is to remember that we are not the Master.  We are but servants on the boat.  Like my dad on the boat when I was so young, we aren't even able to cast the net without His help.   It is Christ who teaches us how to sort through this mess called life.   He is the one who can see clearly from above, while we are stuck with our simple tunnel vision.  He teaches us through the Church, through the Sacred Scriptures, and through holy women and men how to live this life to it's fullest.  That's why it is so important to spend time with Him.  To learn from Him.  To get in the boat and ask questions.   To sit at the feet of Jesus like Mary and just rest with the King of Kings.

The Old Testament reading for today talks about a potter working with clay.  Clay is hard to work with when it's dry and cracked, but if you add enough water to it, it will become supple and giving.  Are you being clay?  Or stone?  Are you listening to the voice of the Lord and being pliant and bending to give way to His will?  Or are you struggling against it?   Fighting to keep your own way?  Enough water and it will feel like you are drowning.. the trials of this life often feel that way don't they?   Those trials are opportunities to be molded.. to grow... to push out those things which are standing in the way of being good clay.   Don't let the voice of the enemy convince you that you are part of the refuse, the junk caught in the net that needs to be thrown away.  You are called to be a Saint!  Don't think of that as something meant for someone else!  It's for YOU!  It's for me!  Let's do this together!

Being a Saint doesn't mean being perfect.. it doesn't mean never making a mistake or falling... what it does mean is being open to the molding of God and growing.. it means not staying as we are.. but growing towards Heaven.  It means trying! Will you try with me?  I want to go to Heaven and I want you to be there with me!  We are more complete together!  Remember when you start to feel like you aren't worthy, when you start to feel like you are part of the junk, that when my dad would see something that he wanted to throw back.. I often saw a treasure, something I could make into something.. something that my child like eyes saw as important and worth notice.   Have a child like faith in God, because He saw enough in you to send His only Son to die in your place, that you might be able to spend eternity with Him.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

A reflection on the readings for Thursday of the Seventeenth Week in Ordinary Time: July 28th, 2016.  Jeremiah 18:1-6, Psalm 146, A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Matthew 13:47-53

Beware the Ides of March

In college I used my talents and knowledge of computer hardware and software to get a job working in the Computer Lab.  It was a pretty lackluster job that involved mostly sitting down at a computer playing games, waiting for someone to come ask me for help.  It was pretty uneventful most of the time.  Then one day I was witness to something that really made me stop what I was doing and listen.   At one of the terminals closest to the door, where everyone in the lab could see and hear them, a couple began to argue.

I said argue.. But in reality, she was apologizing as he consistently berated her and put her down.  “You’re always doing this!”  “I’m sorry.”  “Why can’t you learn, you’re so stupid!”  “I said I was sorry.”  “I’ve had dogs smarter than you!”  Followed by silent sobs.  After about five minutes of this I scooted my chair back and began to stand up.   I had heard enough.  I wasn’t sure exactly what I was going to do, I just knew that the blood was thumping in my ears and I was seeing red.  He heard my chair moving and he stood up and waved his hands around the room, “We are with the psychology department and this is a performance designed to see how people would react to emotional abuse in a public setting.”  She then stood up and began to pass out flyers asking us to fill them out.  “How did you feel?”  “Were you going to do something about it?” “If not, why?”  “If so, why?”  Etc.

Five minutes.  I often wonder why it took me five minutes to even begin to respond.  Was I scared I might get hurt?  Did I not truly believe what I professed to believe? Was I just embarrassed that they were doing this in public?  In the old testament reading for tomorrow Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were put to the ultimate test.  King Nebuchadnezzar demanded that they worship the image he had created.  He wanted them to worship like everyone else.  The other people were jealous of them and pointed out that they weren’t doing it.  So the king had them brought before him and demanded that they follow suit, be like everyone else.  They refused.  In his rage he threw them into the fire.  Then he was astonished to see not, 1.. Not 2.. Not even just 3… but 4 people dancing the in the fire unharmed.  The fire was as hot as it could be, and yet they lived.  The king was converted by their example.

Unlike me, and the many other students in that room, when push came to shove they stood up for their faith.  They scooted back their chairs.  Immediately.  We in America have been waiting for our five minutes, our breaking point.   Our nation has consistently eroded down the values, ethics, and moral stances until we are beginning to look like the sinful nations of old.   While studying the Wisdom literature yesterday I came across this line: “[...]a nation ruthless[...] that has neither reverence for age nor tenderness for childhood.” (Baruch 4:15)  Doesn’t that sound familiar?  We see more and more of this in our own society.  The devaluation of life, the encouragement for euthanasia and abortion, the constant ‘humor’ that laughs at the elderly and reduces parental figures to nothing more than punch lines.  

How do we find the courage to stand up?  The courage to push back our chairs and move toward the other?  To use our words to bring back Lady Wisdom into our midst? Courage to walk into the burning furnace and trust in God’s provision.  

Notice that about their prayer before being cast into the flames?  “We have no need to answer you in this matter.  If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace; and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king.  But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image which you have set up.”   How much faith these three men had.  “Thy will be done.”  Just like Jesus in Gethsemane they prayed for deliverance, but trusted in God’s will.  Even if it meant their death, even if it meant going into danger, they were not turning their back on their faith.

2473 Martyrdom is the supreme witness given to the truth of the faith: it means bearing witness even unto death.

“If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  Jesus reminds us of that simple truth in the Gospel for the day.  Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were free, because they knew the truth.  We can be free too.  Not necessarily free from suffering.  Not free from death.  But free from an attachment to our own wants, free from the need to worry so much about our actions, free to choose good because of the nature of who we have become.  That’s why we pray in the Our Father “thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”  We are asking God to help us let loose of those attachments that keep us bound here, and instead to trust in his provision.. Come what may.

We as Christians can and should be praying for things, for health, for provision.  But God is not an ATM that we might enter the right code and get whatever we want.  Suffering is a difficult thing.  It’s not something we accept easily.  It is though, something that can be used for the good of God.  What would I do today if I heard this same interaction?  I’d hope my chair would go back much faster… that others might see the God whom I serve in my actions, and in my words.  How about you?   Are you pushing your chair back and walking into the furnace?  Are you ready for whatever God sends your way?  Or are you still hunkering down in your chair hoping that it ends soon?

Today is March 15th, the Ides of March... we have the ability to stand up in our chair and head to the voting stands to make a difference... to vote for that candidate that best represents our faith, that has the best chance of bringing about the justice that we as Christians should crave.  I'm not going to tell you who to vote.. but I encourage you get out of the chair and cast your ballot.   Every time we go forward for the Eucharist, we are filled with the same power, the same deliverance that Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego experienced in that furnace.  Are we willing to take that Eucharist power out into the world and let them see it?  To dance in the fire with the creator of the universe and say "It doesn't matter what the outcome, I will do Your will Father!"?  That's what living a Sacramental life is all about... 

His servant and yours,

Brian

“He must increase, I must decrease.”

The Princess and the Pea

When I was growing up in the mountains of southwest Virginia, God had blessed my family with the beautiful gift of being able to have horses in our lives.  I did not appreciate that immense gift for many years to come, but I did enjoy riding them.  I had this beautiful horse named Babe.  She was just the most gentle, loving, and amazing horse.   If you were riding her and began to lean to one side, as if you were going to fall out of the saddle, she'd walk in that direction to make sure you didn't fall.  I once did fall out of the saddle and decided to lead her for a while in the rain, a little fearful to get back on her.  The entire time I walked in front of her she kept nudging me to see if I was ok.

One day I saddled her for a ride and things seemed off.  She seemed distracted, constantly moving in odd ways.  It was as if she was shrugging her shoulders.  Turning her head to try and nip at me.  Even bucking once in a while.  I couldn't figure it out. She had never acted this way.  I rode her for a long while and then got her back to the riding rink.  I began to take off her saddle.  When I did there was a huge sigh of relief from the horse.  I noticed the blanket had a large wrinkle in the middle.   My dad had always told me that you had to make sure the saddle blanket was smooth before putting on the saddle.  I really didn't care I guess, being a teenager I thought I knew all the answers.  When I pulled the blanket off I noticed an almost bare spot on her skin.   What to me seemed unimportant had nearly made a raw place on the poor horses back.

Years later I had my spine fused.  Most of you know that story.  I was in a hospital bed in our living room for a very long time.  I can't remember much of that time.  It was mostly pain, sleep, bathroom, pain, sleep, bathroom.  The medicines they had me on were strong.  My wife took such great care of me.  I remember very clearly though that I had to have the sheets perfectly smooth.  If there was the slightest wrinkle, the slightest fold.. it would make my back scream in pain.  I am sure I was a pain to live with.. but I learnt first hand what I had put my beautiful friend through all those years ago.  What doesn't seem like a big deal, what seems insignificant, can create quite a bit of pain.. even begin to rub you raw if you give it enough time.

That brings me back again to today's readings.  We see John the Baptist beginning to prepare peoples hearts for the message they will receive from Christ.  We see the message from both Isaiah and Baruch that we must make crooked things straight, fill in the valleys and lower the mountains, until the pathway is smooth.  Just like a saddle blanket prepares the horse for a saddle and a bedsheet prepares the bed for the occupant, so too must the pathway be made ready for him who will walk on it.  We see Jesus use parables about seeds and farming.  In those parables the seed goes into the soil.  We are that soil.  We are the path that Jesus will walk on.  Our body is the temple that He resides in.

How powerful an image is that?  That is why during this Advent we are supposed to examine our hearts.  Our hearts are the place where God is supposed to reside.  We must ask ourselves, are there any things in there, no matter how small... no matter how tiny it may seem.. but anything that makes the path unsmooth?  It may not seem like much.  Our flesh may even try to convince us that "Oh that?  Nah that's being too picky."  Look closely.  Then ask God to clear it from you.  You see the horse is our heart, the saddle blanket our preparation, the saddle the gentle yoke of Christ.  The Holy Spirit is coming to bring Christ into the world.   He is to be born again, born again in our hearts every second of every day.  Is there anything standing in the way?  Anything that keeps us from wanting that saddle on us?  Remember, it might not seem like much at first.. but eventually it begins to dig in.. it begins to chaff.. to rub.. to make raw places.... Let God get all of it out of the way. 

I keep hearing people say God loves you and wants you just the way you are.  I agree.  He does indeed love you, and he wants you to come to Him regardless of your sins.. regardless of your bumps, bruises, folds and wrinkles.  He loves you too much to leave you there.  He wants to smooth things out.  He wants to make the pathway straight, the blanket pleasant, the sheet fit perfectly.  He loves you just the way you are.. but too much to leave you that way.  So open your heart, your mind, your soul to the Holy Spirit that he may prepare a manger for the coming King.  Then allow Him to be born in your heart, over and over... until that day when you are born again into His kingdom and he says to his Church, "take off your robe of mourning and misery; put on the splendor of glory from God forever: wrapped in the cloak of justice from God, bear on your head the mitre that displays the glory of the eternal name. For God will show all the earth your splendor: you will be named by God forever the peace of justice, the glory of God’s worship."

Happy Thanksgiving!

What does it mean to be thankful? That is something that is heavy on my heart the past few days.  As we approach the holiday of Thanksgiving, it is something I think all of us should be thinking about.  Someone challenged me to do this thirty day challenge on Facebook.  That is, for around thirty days I have been attempting to come up with something each day to be thankful for.  Doesn't sound too hard does it?  The first few days didn't require much thought at all.  It was easy to come up with a blessing.  I could just look around at some relationship I had, some thing I had been given, some good event that was in my life.   All of these were evident and stood out.  After twenty days though, I began to have to spend more time thinking of something to be thankful for.

Tomorrow's reading for Thanksgiving reminds us of the ten lepers who had a great deal to be thankful for.  These men had been ostracized from community.  They were in pain and diseased.  Their family and friends probably didn't get to come close to them for fear of catching the disease.  They could have been friends, brothers, sons, fathers, uncles. Jesus healed them.  On their way to see the priest they were completely cured of their disease.  Only one of them returned to see Jesus.  Only one truly went to the priest and showed himself clean. The others sought God when they needed him, once cured they ran off to live their lives. 

How often do we do that ourselves?  We give thanks for the good, but we ignore the bad.  We seek God when we have needs.  Then when everything is going smoothly we don't have time for all that religious stuff.  When I first had my back surgery I was very disappointed.  Here I was, a relatively young man, having almost my entire spine fused.  I prayed to God that I wouldn't have to do it.  I still did.  I got a little upset later, because I was now bedridden for quite some time.   I had to have a brace on just to sit up.  My wife had to help me to the bathroom.  Help me take sponge baths.  Help me do just about everything.  At first I couldn't even have wrinkles in the sheets. My back hurt so bad the slightest fold in the fabric would bring me to tears.  My wife patiently stood by my side and helped me through this time.

If you had asked me then are you thankful for your surgery?  I would have become angry.  The thing is, I was one of the nine.   I wasn't thankful for what God had given me.  This surgery was a gift that I could not see.  So I went off to do my own thing.  I can look back now and see how much of a blessing this was.  Sure, sometimes I can't put my shoes on myself.   Some days I can barely bend over and someone has to hand me things off the floor.  Some days I have to have help taking my shirt off.  I still find that wrinkles in the sheets can cause me some pretty intense discomfort.  How can I be thankful for this? 

As a result of my surgery I was able to watch my daughter take her first steps.  I got to spend time with her.  I got to teach her.  I got to hold her when she got her first scrape.  I got to watch as her sisters taught her to ride a bike.  I got to watch them go through their firsts too.  I got to change diapers.  More diapers than I ever wanted to see.  I got to see my nieces, Liaden and Fianna, go through some of their firsts. I got to spend time with all of their siblings that I would not have been able to do otherwise.  I have been able to spend time studying, lead bible studies, prayer groups, faith sessions, and even hope to become a Deacon.   All of these things I might not have been able to do because of something I did not see as a blessing. 

What about you?  Are there things going on right now that seem like a curse?  Things that aren't going the way you want them to?  Are you thankful for them? It's not too late.  I too need to look at my life and ask, where have I not given thanks?  Then, like the one foreigner, glorify God in a loud voice; and fall at the feet of Jesus and thank him.

His servant and yours,

Brian

Strong Enough to Bend

Do you remember Tanya Tucker? I remember her wonderful voice projecting from the speakers of my dodge Daytona. Tonight, the lyrics of one of her songs came back to my mind in a jarring moment of pain.

There's a tree out in the backyard

That never has been broken by the wind

And the reason its still standing

It was strong enough to bend

"Strong Enough to Bend"

I woke up in the heat and walked into the living room. We have company, family from out of town, so both couches (and even a mattress in the middle of the floor) are filled with young kids. Someone had brought one of the plastic lawn chairs in and placed it in the corner. I sat down and began watching whatever was on the television, and before I knew it had returned to dreamland.

A few minutes later, I was startled awake with a painful reality. One of the legs of this cheap plastic chair had broken. There I was in an almost comical situation, except I was trapped, and my back does not bend. I was pinned between my own weight and the wall and my back was trying to bend under the weight. Since the titanium rods do not give...

Needless to say it was not just embarrassing, but quite a bit painful. My wife was awakened (I don't know if I made some kind of sound, or if God simply called her to my side, but I thank Him and her both) and she came in and helped me get out of this situation. As I lay there on the floor, still recovering from the pain of the pressure, I thought.. God I don't bend that way...

It struck me though that there was indeed a lesson to be learned. Much like the rods in our back, the Holy Spirit we are infused with as baptized believers of Christ, doesn't bend. It strengthens our spiritual core and it keeps us 'straight'. When we then who are filled with His Spirit try to do things that are against that nature, against the Spirit, it should hurt.. it should be uncomfortable.. it should be a little embarrassing.. and yes, we should be declaring in a painful gasp of breath "God, my soul doesn't bend that way!"

Thank you Lord for this lesson, I pray that I have learned it enough that I do not need another refresher!

His servant, and yours;

Brian