You don't know anything!?

A Reflection on the readings for Daily Mass for Thursday of the Fourteenth Week of Ordinary Time, July 7, 2016.

Hosea 11:1-4, 8e-9
Psalm 80:2ac, 3b, 15-16
The Holy Gospel According to Saint Matthew 10:7-15

I was haggard and disheveled.   I hadn't slept a wink.   My wife was even more tired than I was.  Our daughter was refusing to sleep.   She had decided that night time was day time, and day time was night time.  It was turning our life into a topsy turvy mess.  Here it was two A.M. and she was bouncing off the walls.  My wife was asleep in a chair where she had finally succumbed to her fatigue, having to work again in a just a few hours.   My eyes were blood shot and cracked and I kept saying go to bed!   A few hours later I called my dad and mom and I apologized to them for all the times I had kept them awake as a child.  I knew I had been hyper active and all those years I got upset when they asked me not to eat candy or drink soda... how many nights had I done just this to them?

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”― Mark Twain

Kids always seem to know better than their parents.   There is something about the aging process that makes a child who hits pubescence seem to think that anyone older than them must simply just not understand life.  All of a sudden no one else is right, everyone else is either stupid or crazy, and only I can ever figure out the truth.  It makes it hard for parents, but the much more difficult cross to bear is that it hurts.  It makes our hearts ache for that child.  Knowing what we had to go through to learn, knowing that they are making mistakes that will lead them to pain and sorrow.... that is the silent sword that pierces the heart of one who loves their child.   We've been there, even if they don't believe.. even if they don't think we can ever understand.... we've had our hearts broken, we've had our lives riddled with sin, we've been down those roads.. some of us to places we won't even talk about.

The first response is often anger, isn't it? "Why won't you listen!"  "I'm trying to help!"  "Won't you just learn from my mistakes and not make the same ones?!"  Growing up that's how I heard that verse from Saint Matthew.   "Shake the dust off your feet" and move on.   They weren't worth getting worked up over, just find someone else to proselytize was the message I received.   It's not the one I hear today when I read those words... it's rather a reminder of what we see at the end of the reading from Hosea... "My heart is overwhelmed and my pity is stirred.  I will not give vent to my blazing anger...[] For I am God, not man."  God isn't calling us to reject those people, to shake the dust off and leave them to lose their way.  He's rather saying, do not let fear cling to you.   It's as if He is saying "I've got this."  Don't let the dust of the situation cling to you, drag you down.. take away your joy and peace.   Rather trust in the Lord, you're God.   Lift them up in prayer and leave it to Him.

That's a hard lesson to learn isn't it?  Offer them at the foot of the cross.  Like the Blessed Virgin Mary we are challenged with standing and watching as a 'sword pierces our own soul.'  She is our example, the ultimate of discipleship.  Even when she did not understand she kept all of it in her heart and thought about it.  She did not discourage Him from this path, but rather, she asked Him to perform the first miracle of his ministry.  That's our other thought... to lift them up, to say Jesus.. we are asking you to turn the water of their life.. no matter how dingy or used it may become... into something exquisite... a wine fit for a king.  That's the interesting thing about that miracle isn't it?   These were the ceremonial cleansing jars.. where people washed their hands and feet from the trip.  Water was precious (is precious) in those lands.   They wouldn't waste it and did not know about germs or such.. so they just washed and put it back.  Yet it became the most beautiful of wines did it not?   Their life, our lives... are in His hands.  Are we ready to be transformed into wine?

My Dad When I Was...
4 years old:
My daddy can do anything!
5 years old:
My daddy knows a lot!
6 years old:
My dad is smarter than your dad!
8 years old:
My dad doesn't know exactly everything.
10 years old:
In the olden days when my dad grew up,
things were sure different!
12 years old:
Oh, well, naturally,
Dad doesn't know anything about that.
He is too old to remember his childhood.
14 years old:
Don't pay any attention to my dad.
He is so old-fashioned!
21 years old:
Him? My Lord, he's hopelessly out of date!
25 years old:
Dad knows a little bit about it,
but then he should because he has been around so long.
30 years old:
Maybe we should ask Dad what he thinks.
After all, he's had a lot of experience.
35 years old:
I'm not doing a single thing until I talk to Dad.
40 years old:
I wonder how Dad would have handled it.
He was so wise and had a world of experience.
50 years old:
I'd give anything if Dad were here now
so I could talk this over with him.
Too bad I didn't appreciate how smart he was.
I could have learned a lot from him.
I sure do miss him.
from Ann Landers

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

I'm Not Here to Make Friends....

A Reflection for the Daily Readings for the Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul, June 29th, 2016

Acts 12:1-11
Psalms 34:2-9
2 Timothy 4:6-8, 17-18
The Holy Gospel According to Saint Matthew 16:13-19

Over a decade ago I was going through a rough patch in my life.  A broken relationship, a house that was falling apart (mostly my fault), debt up to my ears, and a stagnant job that provided no chance of advancement.   As I worked one day I received a call from a competitors company who had heard of me and wanted to know if I wanted a job.   He offered me a company truck, a gas card, more money on the hour, and health insurance.  I went to my boss who had told me a few weeks before that I was capped out when I asked about a raise, and I said here is what they are offering.  I didn't want to leave, but he didn't counter or even argue.. he just let me go.  So be it I decided.

I started the new job with gusto!  I went in working as hard as my body could manage, as many hours as they'd let me, running jobs from the very start.  One job finished, another.. people didn't like me.  I didn't remind about breaks, I told them when I thought they were slacking, and I pushed them to finish the job as fast as possible.   I was making the company money.  As I told my help when they'd complain: "I'm not here to make friends.  I'm here to do a job."   So I did.  That broken relationship fell completely apart.  The power and water got turned off at home.   I went on the road and stayed in hotels.  As far as I was concerned I was successful, I was who I needed to be.  I even changed my name from Brian to Ken for a while, to show the new me.. the workaholic.   The man afraid to face his life.

CCC 2158 God calls each one by name. Everyone's name is sacred. The name is the icon of the person. It demands respect as a sign of the dignity of the one who bears it.

Eventually a man who had weaseled his way in through a chink in my armor took me aside at lunch.  He said he remembered the me when I first started, the one who sat in his truck at lunch time reading his bible, etc.  He asked me a few questions and I answered them, evening pulling out my trusty 1611 King James bible from under the truck seat (and having to dust it off).   He said there he is, that's the guy I remember.  It was a wake up call.   It was who I was meant to be, it was who God had made me to be.  Not that I started slacking, no I worked just as hard.  I stopped being a wall though.  I let people in to see the real me.   I treated them with dignity and respect, and earned some respect of my own.  Soon we were all friends and though I was still completing jobs as fast as possible... people didn't complain as much, they didn't get angry and go to the office in the evenings talking about how much of a jerk I was... no I was being the man I was supposed to be.

The world wants us to remain in those chains, you know?  That a successful man or woman must be one who puts the job before relationships.  The one who gets the job done with maximum profit regardless of who they offend, hurt or cause to quit.   God wants us to be free from the chains of life.  That doesn't mean we don't work, the opposite is true there.  He wants our yes to be yes, and our no no.  He challenges us to put in our time as efficiently and skillfully as we can... but He wants us to do so with joy!  To be the kind of person that draws others to them, not pushes them away.   To do so though we can't just say "I believe" and then go on living as we have always lived.  We must become a new person, we have to listen to the messenger when they say "get up! get dressed! follow me!"  Notice that Peter's chains didn't fall off till He got up!

God gives us a new name.  A new name means a new start!  I tried to do it on my own, by changing the name people referred to me by and becoming the man I wanted to be.   I wanted to follow in my dad's footsteps and be the foreman that got it done, the one who knew how to get the best out of his men.  I thought that meant intimidation.. but it meant camaraderie.     I thought it meant working without care for those around me, but my dad taught me years later it meant working as a servant to those below you.  Making sure they were safe, cared for, and knowing them.  A man who trusts you, a man who feels that bond.. will work harder for you than a man who lacks those emotions.  I never became a man who sat in the AC while my crew worked.  I hated working for people like that.  I was always right out there with them, pulling cable, running conduit, and digging ditches.  Yes, there were times I had to go to meetings or answer questions.. but in between?  I didn't just stand around talking.. I worked with them.. as a brother, as an equal.

CCC 2159 The name one receives is a name for eternity. In the kingdom, the mysterious and unique character of each person marked with God's name will shine forth in splendor. "To him who conquers . . . I will give a white stone, with a new name written on the stone which no one knows except him who receives it." "Then I looked, and Lo, on Mount Zion stood the Lamb, and with him a hundred and forty- four thousand who had his name and his Father's name written on their foreheads."

At Confirmation we choose a Saint who lived the Gospels in a way that speaks to us.   It isn't that we want to become that Saint.. but that we want to follow the same path they did when they were alive.  I chose Saint Francis of Assisi.  He was the kind of man I want to be like, one who showed Christ so fully in his life that other men followed Him.   One who lived life in a way that said I believe what I say, I have the courage of my convictions.  That kind of life strengthens us, it nourishes us.. to be strong enough to do what Saint Paul was speaking about in his letter to Timothy.. to pour ourselves out like a libation.   This life is not an easy one.. it means giving up attachment to all things in life.  It means getting outside of ourselves and letting Christ live through us.  It means living a life with a new name.. a name giving to us by God himself.

Saul was one of the worst persecutors in the Early Church.  He literally ripped people from their homes and turned them in, if not standing by while others stoned them.  He thought he was doing right, he was trying to make a name.  He was getting the job done.   Jesus appeared to him and said "Get up.  Follow me."  Saul became Paul and after years of contemplation became one of the greatest evangelizers to the Gentile Nations.   Simon when left to his own devices would come to deny the lord three times, to flee from the scene of the cross, to raise a sword in anger... Jesus gave him a new name, again "Get up!  Follow me!"  When he began to live the name that Jesus had given him, he became Peter.. the rock, the one who was given the keys to the Kingdom.   The man who when he was crucified asked to be crucified upside down because he didn't feel worthy to hang the same way as Christ.

They, like you and I, failed when they tried to live by their own name.  When they tried to write who they were on their own terms, even when it seemed right in their own estimation.   It was only when they accepted the name given to them by the Word, by He who through which everything was made, both visible and invisible, that they began to live life in Christ to its fullest.  To be poured out like a libation for their fellow man and to enter the Kingdom of God on God's terms.   Are you trying to set the terms?   Are you trying to give yourself a name?   Or are you letting God work through you to build up the name He has written for you eternally in the heavens?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease." 

Can anything good come from Clintwood?

Fifteen years or so ago the company I worked for hired this electrician from Baltimore.  He was supposed to be "all that and a bag of chips."  The one thing I do know, this man could finish a job faster than any other foreman that worked there.   I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder at the time because I was a foreman too but they kept putting me on his jobs as one of his helpers.  I did my job though.  I got fast at what I did, and I helped bang them out.   It wasn't until I'd been working with him a year or so that things began to show up that were iffy.  A problem on this job, a receptacle over here, etc.   Call back time and again to jobs he had finished in weeks, little things that added up to weeks or months of time repairing or fixing whatever it was that was wrong.   In the long run, you can't make money doing that... we spent more time on his jobs, but it always showed up as service calls, etc.

Finally it all came to a head when he asked me to do something that was just wrong.  He wanted me to install a heater with the wire coming through a concrete wall with no pipe, no insulators, just bare wire.  I refused.  So he sent me to work on the roof while he had someone else do it.   Then he asked me to just "stick a ground wire down a pipe" for a ground.  If you know anything about electricity, that's dangerous business.  This on a 200 amp disconnect.  I refused again.  He sent me off the job.   Soon I wasn't allowed on his jobs.  I kept getting crap work from the boss, and this hotshot kept getting all the high paying, overtime things.  He got the company truck, the gas card, the new tools etc..  I got to drive my own car several hundred miles a week, provide my own tools, and so on.   At the time I even kicked myself a bit.. everyone kept telling me just do what he tells you and things will get better.. "Everyone else does it, don't worry about it."  "If you want to make money you're gonna have to learn to cut corners...."   "You're from Clintwood, Virginia.. you should just do what you're told.. who else is gonna hire you?"

Then one winter we were working on a Church and the owner of the company showed up.  You could tell by the look in his eyes that something was wrong.  It turned out that on the roof of that job that I had been told to push a bare wire down a pipe, someone had touched an AC unit and been killed.  I looked at the man before me, I gave him that look... he knew, because I had told him when I was sent off that job why I was sent off.   I had still been punished, but I had stood up for what I knew to be right.  That company changed quite a bit after that.   Short cuts weren't taken anymore and profit wasn't as important.  The owner was a good man.. I know that... but he had allowed things to happen in order to make more money.

That's kind of what I get from the Acts of the Apostles.  Here are these men who have been arrested, thrown in prison and freed by an angel in the night. These were the same men who before were hiding in a locked room so no one would find them.  The same men who had run on the night Jesus was arrested, who had deserted him in his time of need.   Here they are, standing up to the very authority that all their life they had been told was the one to listen to.  This was the Sanhedrin!  If you listened to anyone as a Jew, that's the group of people you should be hearing.   Yet, they stand up for Christ, regardless of the consequences.  "We must obey God rather than men."   It would have been much easier to run away when they were arrested and freed.  Instead they go right back out and begin to preach again.  Later in that chapter we find them being flogged and beaten for this very action, and what happens?   "They left the presence of the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer dishonor for the name. And every day in the temple and at home they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ."

What about you?  Are you willing to stand up for your faith?  Most of us are not called here in the affluence of America to be Martyrs.  The question is though, what is God calling you to?   Each of us receives a calling.  Each of us is being asked by God to do something.  For some is to be the best mother they can be.  For another the best accountant.  Another the best lawyer.   Our Catholicism doesn't end at the door of the Sanctuary... it is a part of us.   When we receive Christ in the Eucharist we are to go out into the world and be among the world, but not of it.   That means we are a Sacramental people.. we ourselves are a sacrament to the world.. we aren't just lawyers.. we are Catholic lawyers.   We aren't just teachers.  We are Catholic teachers.   We aren't just writers... we are Catholic writers.   Are you ready for that?  Bringing your Catholicism into the world even it means losing your friends?  Your family?  Your job?  The other question I must ask myself when I read this is, do I go forth rejoicing when I am dishonored for him?  Or do I go back to the upper room and lock myself inside spiritually?

We Catholics are given the greatest gift of any possible one.  Saint John says:

The one who comes from above is above all.
The one who is of the earth is earthly and speaks of earthly things.
But the one who comes from heaven is above all.
He testifies to what he has seen and heard,
but no one accepts his testimony.
Whoever does accept his testimony certifies that God is trustworthy.
For the one whom God sent speaks the words of God.
He does not ration his gift of the Spirit.
The Father loves the Son and has given everything over to him.
Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life

That's what we receive in the Eucharist.   How is it that we receive that which is above all, that which pours out God's grace with no limits into our soul, that Blessed Sacrament of the Altar which imparts eternal life and then go forth sour, angry and unchanged?   We cannot.  We must not.   When we receive Jesus into us we must be open to that grace which he pours out on us freely... allowing Him to change us.. to make us more like God... to make us people who speak of heavenly things.. to testify to what we have seen and heart.. like our brother and savior, Jesus Christ.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Beware the Ides of March

In college I used my talents and knowledge of computer hardware and software to get a job working in the Computer Lab.  It was a pretty lackluster job that involved mostly sitting down at a computer playing games, waiting for someone to come ask me for help.  It was pretty uneventful most of the time.  Then one day I was witness to something that really made me stop what I was doing and listen.   At one of the terminals closest to the door, where everyone in the lab could see and hear them, a couple began to argue.

I said argue.. But in reality, she was apologizing as he consistently berated her and put her down.  “You’re always doing this!”  “I’m sorry.”  “Why can’t you learn, you’re so stupid!”  “I said I was sorry.”  “I’ve had dogs smarter than you!”  Followed by silent sobs.  After about five minutes of this I scooted my chair back and began to stand up.   I had heard enough.  I wasn’t sure exactly what I was going to do, I just knew that the blood was thumping in my ears and I was seeing red.  He heard my chair moving and he stood up and waved his hands around the room, “We are with the psychology department and this is a performance designed to see how people would react to emotional abuse in a public setting.”  She then stood up and began to pass out flyers asking us to fill them out.  “How did you feel?”  “Were you going to do something about it?” “If not, why?”  “If so, why?”  Etc.

Five minutes.  I often wonder why it took me five minutes to even begin to respond.  Was I scared I might get hurt?  Did I not truly believe what I professed to believe? Was I just embarrassed that they were doing this in public?  In the old testament reading for tomorrow Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were put to the ultimate test.  King Nebuchadnezzar demanded that they worship the image he had created.  He wanted them to worship like everyone else.  The other people were jealous of them and pointed out that they weren’t doing it.  So the king had them brought before him and demanded that they follow suit, be like everyone else.  They refused.  In his rage he threw them into the fire.  Then he was astonished to see not, 1.. Not 2.. Not even just 3… but 4 people dancing the in the fire unharmed.  The fire was as hot as it could be, and yet they lived.  The king was converted by their example.

Unlike me, and the many other students in that room, when push came to shove they stood up for their faith.  They scooted back their chairs.  Immediately.  We in America have been waiting for our five minutes, our breaking point.   Our nation has consistently eroded down the values, ethics, and moral stances until we are beginning to look like the sinful nations of old.   While studying the Wisdom literature yesterday I came across this line: “[...]a nation ruthless[...] that has neither reverence for age nor tenderness for childhood.” (Baruch 4:15)  Doesn’t that sound familiar?  We see more and more of this in our own society.  The devaluation of life, the encouragement for euthanasia and abortion, the constant ‘humor’ that laughs at the elderly and reduces parental figures to nothing more than punch lines.  

How do we find the courage to stand up?  The courage to push back our chairs and move toward the other?  To use our words to bring back Lady Wisdom into our midst? Courage to walk into the burning furnace and trust in God’s provision.  

Notice that about their prayer before being cast into the flames?  “We have no need to answer you in this matter.  If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace; and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king.  But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image which you have set up.”   How much faith these three men had.  “Thy will be done.”  Just like Jesus in Gethsemane they prayed for deliverance, but trusted in God’s will.  Even if it meant their death, even if it meant going into danger, they were not turning their back on their faith.

2473 Martyrdom is the supreme witness given to the truth of the faith: it means bearing witness even unto death.

“If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  Jesus reminds us of that simple truth in the Gospel for the day.  Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were free, because they knew the truth.  We can be free too.  Not necessarily free from suffering.  Not free from death.  But free from an attachment to our own wants, free from the need to worry so much about our actions, free to choose good because of the nature of who we have become.  That’s why we pray in the Our Father “thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”  We are asking God to help us let loose of those attachments that keep us bound here, and instead to trust in his provision.. Come what may.

We as Christians can and should be praying for things, for health, for provision.  But God is not an ATM that we might enter the right code and get whatever we want.  Suffering is a difficult thing.  It’s not something we accept easily.  It is though, something that can be used for the good of God.  What would I do today if I heard this same interaction?  I’d hope my chair would go back much faster… that others might see the God whom I serve in my actions, and in my words.  How about you?   Are you pushing your chair back and walking into the furnace?  Are you ready for whatever God sends your way?  Or are you still hunkering down in your chair hoping that it ends soon?

Today is March 15th, the Ides of March... we have the ability to stand up in our chair and head to the voting stands to make a difference... to vote for that candidate that best represents our faith, that has the best chance of bringing about the justice that we as Christians should crave.  I'm not going to tell you who to vote.. but I encourage you get out of the chair and cast your ballot.   Every time we go forward for the Eucharist, we are filled with the same power, the same deliverance that Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego experienced in that furnace.  Are we willing to take that Eucharist power out into the world and let them see it?  To dance in the fire with the creator of the universe and say "It doesn't matter what the outcome, I will do Your will Father!"?  That's what living a Sacramental life is all about... 

His servant and yours,

Brian

“He must increase, I must decrease.”