I'm Not Here to Make Friends....

A Reflection for the Daily Readings for the Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul, June 29th, 2016

Acts 12:1-11
Psalms 34:2-9
2 Timothy 4:6-8, 17-18
The Holy Gospel According to Saint Matthew 16:13-19

Over a decade ago I was going through a rough patch in my life.  A broken relationship, a house that was falling apart (mostly my fault), debt up to my ears, and a stagnant job that provided no chance of advancement.   As I worked one day I received a call from a competitors company who had heard of me and wanted to know if I wanted a job.   He offered me a company truck, a gas card, more money on the hour, and health insurance.  I went to my boss who had told me a few weeks before that I was capped out when I asked about a raise, and I said here is what they are offering.  I didn't want to leave, but he didn't counter or even argue.. he just let me go.  So be it I decided.

I started the new job with gusto!  I went in working as hard as my body could manage, as many hours as they'd let me, running jobs from the very start.  One job finished, another.. people didn't like me.  I didn't remind about breaks, I told them when I thought they were slacking, and I pushed them to finish the job as fast as possible.   I was making the company money.  As I told my help when they'd complain: "I'm not here to make friends.  I'm here to do a job."   So I did.  That broken relationship fell completely apart.  The power and water got turned off at home.   I went on the road and stayed in hotels.  As far as I was concerned I was successful, I was who I needed to be.  I even changed my name from Brian to Ken for a while, to show the new me.. the workaholic.   The man afraid to face his life.

CCC 2158 God calls each one by name. Everyone's name is sacred. The name is the icon of the person. It demands respect as a sign of the dignity of the one who bears it.

Eventually a man who had weaseled his way in through a chink in my armor took me aside at lunch.  He said he remembered the me when I first started, the one who sat in his truck at lunch time reading his bible, etc.  He asked me a few questions and I answered them, evening pulling out my trusty 1611 King James bible from under the truck seat (and having to dust it off).   He said there he is, that's the guy I remember.  It was a wake up call.   It was who I was meant to be, it was who God had made me to be.  Not that I started slacking, no I worked just as hard.  I stopped being a wall though.  I let people in to see the real me.   I treated them with dignity and respect, and earned some respect of my own.  Soon we were all friends and though I was still completing jobs as fast as possible... people didn't complain as much, they didn't get angry and go to the office in the evenings talking about how much of a jerk I was... no I was being the man I was supposed to be.

The world wants us to remain in those chains, you know?  That a successful man or woman must be one who puts the job before relationships.  The one who gets the job done with maximum profit regardless of who they offend, hurt or cause to quit.   God wants us to be free from the chains of life.  That doesn't mean we don't work, the opposite is true there.  He wants our yes to be yes, and our no no.  He challenges us to put in our time as efficiently and skillfully as we can... but He wants us to do so with joy!  To be the kind of person that draws others to them, not pushes them away.   To do so though we can't just say "I believe" and then go on living as we have always lived.  We must become a new person, we have to listen to the messenger when they say "get up! get dressed! follow me!"  Notice that Peter's chains didn't fall off till He got up!

God gives us a new name.  A new name means a new start!  I tried to do it on my own, by changing the name people referred to me by and becoming the man I wanted to be.   I wanted to follow in my dad's footsteps and be the foreman that got it done, the one who knew how to get the best out of his men.  I thought that meant intimidation.. but it meant camaraderie.     I thought it meant working without care for those around me, but my dad taught me years later it meant working as a servant to those below you.  Making sure they were safe, cared for, and knowing them.  A man who trusts you, a man who feels that bond.. will work harder for you than a man who lacks those emotions.  I never became a man who sat in the AC while my crew worked.  I hated working for people like that.  I was always right out there with them, pulling cable, running conduit, and digging ditches.  Yes, there were times I had to go to meetings or answer questions.. but in between?  I didn't just stand around talking.. I worked with them.. as a brother, as an equal.

CCC 2159 The name one receives is a name for eternity. In the kingdom, the mysterious and unique character of each person marked with God's name will shine forth in splendor. "To him who conquers . . . I will give a white stone, with a new name written on the stone which no one knows except him who receives it." "Then I looked, and Lo, on Mount Zion stood the Lamb, and with him a hundred and forty- four thousand who had his name and his Father's name written on their foreheads."

At Confirmation we choose a Saint who lived the Gospels in a way that speaks to us.   It isn't that we want to become that Saint.. but that we want to follow the same path they did when they were alive.  I chose Saint Francis of Assisi.  He was the kind of man I want to be like, one who showed Christ so fully in his life that other men followed Him.   One who lived life in a way that said I believe what I say, I have the courage of my convictions.  That kind of life strengthens us, it nourishes us.. to be strong enough to do what Saint Paul was speaking about in his letter to Timothy.. to pour ourselves out like a libation.   This life is not an easy one.. it means giving up attachment to all things in life.  It means getting outside of ourselves and letting Christ live through us.  It means living a life with a new name.. a name giving to us by God himself.

Saul was one of the worst persecutors in the Early Church.  He literally ripped people from their homes and turned them in, if not standing by while others stoned them.  He thought he was doing right, he was trying to make a name.  He was getting the job done.   Jesus appeared to him and said "Get up.  Follow me."  Saul became Paul and after years of contemplation became one of the greatest evangelizers to the Gentile Nations.   Simon when left to his own devices would come to deny the lord three times, to flee from the scene of the cross, to raise a sword in anger... Jesus gave him a new name, again "Get up!  Follow me!"  When he began to live the name that Jesus had given him, he became Peter.. the rock, the one who was given the keys to the Kingdom.   The man who when he was crucified asked to be crucified upside down because he didn't feel worthy to hang the same way as Christ.

They, like you and I, failed when they tried to live by their own name.  When they tried to write who they were on their own terms, even when it seemed right in their own estimation.   It was only when they accepted the name given to them by the Word, by He who through which everything was made, both visible and invisible, that they began to live life in Christ to its fullest.  To be poured out like a libation for their fellow man and to enter the Kingdom of God on God's terms.   Are you trying to set the terms?   Are you trying to give yourself a name?   Or are you letting God work through you to build up the name He has written for you eternally in the heavens?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease." 

Radical Gratitude

I'm very excited this morning as we begin our pro-life VBS program.  I wanted to get my assignment and blog entry done first thing and get my prayers in early.  I am glad I did.  The first reading for today reminds me that in all things, it is God who is the source of our provision.  The rain, the weather, all of creation responds to His Word.   What kind of VBS teacher would I be if I did not rely on that simple truth?   It requires though that we be obedient.   Elijah has just made a statement that it will not rain or even dew without his approval, all by the power of the Lord.   He has to do his part though. Elijah has to journey into the area of the Wadi Cherith and remain there.   There the Lord will provide for him by having food brought to him morning and evening.  The Wadi is a stream that has deep hidden areas that provide a place for the persecuted to hide.   Even in God's provisional plan not only has he taken care of his need for food and drink, but provided him a place to remain with physical protection.

Jesus in the Gospel for today continues that theme of obedience and providence.  Mathew is writing to a predominately Jewish audience and theologically is portraying Jesus as the New Moses, the greater Prophet, who ascends the mountain and gives us the Law.   The disciples go up with Him and he proceeds to give them one of the most important speeches in the history of mankind, the beatitudes.  Some try to claim that Jesus did away with obedience, that we no longer have to do anything but profess and believe.  It's not either or, but both and.   Jesus didn't make things easier morally, he made them even more difficult.  He did not 'do away' with morality but required it to be internalized, to become a part of who we are.  They are in fact the road-map to obedience.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.Blessed are they who mourn,for they will be comforted.Blessed are the meek,for they will inherit the land.Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,for they will be satisfied.Blessed are the merciful,for they will be shown mercy.Blessed are the clean of heart,for they will see God.Blessed are the peacemakers,for they will be called children of God.Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute youand utter every kind of evil against you falsely because of me.Rejoice and be glad,for your reward will be great in heaven.

When we examine and delve into these eight simple, yet very complex statements, we find that they describe the incarnation of God himself, Christ.  His life lived them out perfectly.   Who is more poor in spirit than He who condescended from omnipotence to become a mortal man for the sake of us?  Who mourns more than the God who loves us so greatly that He would die in our steed to prevent us ever being separated from His side?  Who is meeker than the Paschal Lamb whose blood was offered as a propitiation for our sins? Who can dare thirst for righteousness or is more merciful  than He who is justice and mercy itself? Again who can claim to be more clean of heart than the spotless, unblemished sacrifice of God's only begotten Son?  Then who can claim to be more of a peacemaker than  He who tore down the wall that separated Gentile and Jew and restored mankind to the state of grace for which we were created?

Yes, the beatitudes describe Christ the man, but more powerfully Christ on the Cross.   They call us to a radical notion of detachment.   To be free of all the vices and desires of this life.   Power, wealth, pleasure, and honor.   All of which Jesus gave up on the cross.   Who is more powerless than to be nailed to a tree by your hands and feet, to die a slow and horrendous death in the stead of another?   Who has less wealth than the one whose very clothing is being gambled for and given away as you hang naked moments from death?  Who has less pleasure than to experience the pain and agony of thirst and crucifixion in the hot desert air?  Who lacks honor man than He who was King of the Universe to be mocked, spit on, and executed in the death which is reserved for the worst of the worst Criminals.

1717 The Beatitudes depict the countenance of Jesus Christ and portray his charity. They express the vocation of the faithful associated with the glory of his Passion and Resurrection; they shed light on the actions and attitudes characteristic of the Christian life; they are the paradoxical promises that sustain hope in the midst of tribulations; they proclaim the blessings and rewards already secured, however dimly, for Christ's disciples; they have begun in the lives of the Virgin Mary and all the saints.

The beatitudes indeed call us to a radical detachment from this world.   They also call us though, to a radical attachment to God himself.  This attachment comes in the form of obedience.  It starts by emulating Christ.  By being more like Christ, we become more like God.  In living a life of detachment from this world with a radical attachment to God, we rely on Him just as Elijah did at the Wadi.  We count on him for our sustenance,  for our protection, for our comforts and joys.   We cling to Him in times of sorrow.  We seek not our own, but His!  We need not wealth to be happy and joyful, but rather can become generous and loving with whatever we are blessed with.  Yes, these beatitudes are the key to living a life of peace and joy.  The key to understanding them lies in the Eucharist, in the person of Christ, in the Sacraments.  Are you ready to get radical?   I don't know if I am ready for it, but Lord I am willing!  Let's make that our prayer today.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Hot Sands

Around ten years ago I had an experience that completely changed my life.  It began though around nine months before that.  My wife and I embarked on a journey of learning, though she had quite a bit more knowledge than I at that time.  The three other ladies in the house had to learn how to prepare for this as well.  Things had to be cleaned, locks had to be installed (or reinstalled.)  Various damaging things that could harm the imminent birth of our child had to be moved, secured or disposed of.  Life was changing and we had to work hard and discipline ourselves to prepare for those changes.

My wife had to change her diet, so we changed with her.  Things we normally might have eaten would have to be given up so that the child would be nourished with the proper vitamins and nutrients.  We worked hard on making sure that things didn't happen that would injure her, including avoiding high stress activities and anything that might jossle or jar her stomach in a negative way.  For nine months we prepared for that birth, for nine months we had to think and ponder what it might be like.  I was supposed to be infertile.  The doctors had told me this for years.  My wife and I had resigned ourselves to God's will in this matter.  We had not given up hope, but we didn't have a great deal of confidence that anything would come of it.

Then one day she took a pregnancy test and our world was changed.  It was filled with worry and yet joy.  Would she be healthy?  Would she have special needs?  Would she make it?  Would it be a he or she?  All things we waited till birth to discover.  Then that November I got to experience second hand what childbirth is like.  I've heard it said that a kidney stone is worse than childbirth.  If my wife's ability to give birth to children is the norm?  Then I'd say a kidney stone is a LOT worse than childbirth.  She gives birth like most people walk across hot sand.  If you move your feet fast enough it doesn't hurt too much.  The doctor came in and said "Ok, it's time."  And then? It was over.  There was this child of mine staring at me with my own face in miniature.  I watched as the nurses cleaned her and gave her some shot to boost her immune system and as the drop of blood dripped from her thigh she began to cry in pain.  I wanted to protect her but I knew it was best for her, so I stood and waited for them to hand her to us.  I knew right then I would do anything for this child, anything, even if it meant my own death.

There it is for all of you who wonder why we bother with Lent as Catholics.  Lent is the pregnancy.  It is that time when you prepare, when you discipline yourself, for that life changing event.  You get rid of those things that are harmful in preparation to nourish your new life.  As the reading for this morning says, "For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."  In Baptism we die with Christ and rise again a new person, filled with the Holy Spirit and the grace of God to go forth and change our lives.  Easter is a chance to renew that, to rekindle that romance, to draw closer to God and be more like Him.  Lent prepares us for that.  Just like with the new baby coming, anything that can hinder the growth of our new life, anything that might 'kill' or harm that new life, must be removed.

The thing is, it can't end with Lent.  Lent is not about giving up something meaningless in order to go right back to it afterward.  Lent is about preparing for that delivery of New Life that we receive in the Eucharist!  Just like you don't just ignore the baby after it's born, you can't ignore your new self either.  You have to feed it the right things, discipline it so that it can know right from wrong, nourish it, cherish it, and help it to grow into something beautiful.  That's what Easter reminds us to do.  We still have to keep those things out of our lives that we learned to remove during Lent, and continue to do those things that make us grow spiritually.  First and foremost of those is the Sacraments, but second and like to them are the corporeal works of Mercy.   Feeding the hungry, giving drink to the thirsty, comforting the sick and mourning, visiting those who cannot get out or are imprisoned... yes these things make our new life grow.  They nourish us and enhance us.

It's not something we can forget.   That's why we in the Catholic church consider Sunday a mini-Easter... it's a reminder every week that we have to continue to feed our spirit with the nourishment of Christ in the Eucharist, in Confession, in prayer and in works.  Here you are with this new life cradled in your arms, and for those of you who are parents?  You have other lives to nourish and guide that they too might grow in their faith.  It's our responsibility to guide, nourish and cherish those lives.  When you gaze at them, when you gaze at your own spiritual walk, when you gaze at the Eucharist.... ask yourself, "Would I do anything for them?"  That's what Christ asks of us.  The walk of a Christian is not an easy one, not a thing that we simply do at Church and forget about later.. it's about looking at the people we like the least, the ones we have the most hatred for.. and trying to see Christ in them... because once we do.. the world changes.. our lives change.. and with God's grace and help?  Hatred can become love.  Injury? Pardon.  Doubt? Faith.  Despair? Hope. Anything is possible.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Seeing with New Eyes, Again

Recently in our bible study I was made aware of a quote from Origen which said “We should reverence every word of the Scriptures, the same way we reverence every particle of the consecrated host.”  Such a powerful statement that reminds me how often we are superficial in our reading of the Sacred Word.   Often we forget to look at it anew with eyes attuned to our current life and tend to look back on it with our previous understanding.  The thing is, Sacred Scripture speaks to us when and where we are.  The message that we receive today might not be the one we received last year, and again in ten years our new experiences and understandings will change how and why God is speaking to us then and there.

We should reverence every word of the Scriptures, the same way we reverence every particle of the consecrated host. -Origen

This particular reading for this Sunday is not one that I am unfamiliar with.  In fact, it’s one of the most important readings in the book of Genesis.  In these short paragraphs we see the promise that God has given to Abraham which will lead to the inclusion of the gentiles in God’s plan of salvation.  God leads Abraham out of his tent and tells him to look to the sky and count the stars, if he can.  “Just so[...] shall your descendants be.”  What a promise!  Oh how difficult it is to number the stars.  With the science of today we know that they are innumerable, a vast expanse of flickering bodies beyond any count that man can hope to endure in a single lifetime.  The thing is, there is something much more deep and powerful about this reading.

If you take just a moment to examine the text, it appears God asked Abraham to count the stars in the middle of the day.   Later in the next paragraph Scripture records “As the sun was about to set…”  Again in the third paragraph, “When the sun had set….”   Counting the number of the stars at night would be a daunting task.  Something difficult at best, but something a man might fancy he could begin to do if given enough time.   To count them in the day though?  You can’t even see them.  Maybe that was the point…  Abraham knew the stars were many.  He had seen with his own eyes throughout the previous night times of his long life, maybe even laying out in the hot desert air gazing up at the stars thinking about what life means and who God is.  Here he was asked to count something he couldn’t see, but knew was there.  Just like the promise… Abraham could not see his descendants, he couldn’t possibly count them.. but he knew they were going to be there.   That’s why the Scriptures record Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness.  (Romans 4:3, Genesis 15:6)  Though his vision was limited by his own experience, by his own bondage to temporal time, he knew that God would provide those descendants, just as he knew the stars were truly there behind the azure blue of the day-lit sky.

I can’t help but imagine that Moses and Elijah too felt the same way when they hid in the cleft of the mountains.   They hid their face as God passed by, but surely they longed to see God face to face.  To gaze upon the beautiful countenance of their beloved.  Do we often think about that when we consider the transfiguration?   Only on the mountain of the Transfiguration will Moses and Elijah behold the unveiled face of him whom they sought.  (CCC 2583)  How powerful a moment this must have been for Peter, James and John as they witnessed this moment.  The moment when the Law and the Prophets came face to face with the incarnate.   This moment of awe must have been both edifying and frightening.  Peter declares that he wants to build three tents here to remember this scene forever. Peter probably didn’t do it just out of awe, but maybe out of fear.   Jesus had been continually telling his Apostles about his mission.   Here Moses and Elijah appear and begin to speak about what is going to happen in Jerusalem to Jesus.  Peter in his fear, in his dread for what will happen to his friend, to his master, wants to stay here.  If we just stay here we will never have to see you die!  We can just stay here and be happy.  He couldn’t see.  The sun was in his eyes as he tried to count the stars, he couldn’t see God’s plan.

Isn’t that the way it truly is for all of us too?  God asks us to count the stars and we look up to find they aren’t visible.   Instead of simply trusting that they are there, we begin to make our own plans.  We try to make our own stars.   We wait a time until the stars we think we want begin to appear and we count those, instead of taking a moment to simply to trust God’s plan.  Like Peter we want to build a tent in a comfortable place.   Our intentions might even be good.   Peter did not say something insulting, in fact for most men it would be flattering.. to be honored and venerated in this place where the Sacred had touched the earth.   That wasn’t the plan though.   That was less than what God wanted to give him.  Often the stars we try to form with our own minds and lives are insufficient for the glory God wants to offer to us.

Paul reminds us of this in the reading from the epistle to the Philippians.   He talks of those people who make their god their stomachs, their minds occupied with earthly things. (Phil 3:19)  They are trying to make their own stars instead of counting the ones God has offered them.  Paul tells us this makes them enemies of the cross.  Yet, for those who cling to the Gospel given them by Paul and imitate him as he imitates Christ, for those who trust that the stars are there even when they can’t see them, Paul shares that we too shall experience a transfiguration:

But our citizenship is in heaven, 

and from it we also await a savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.

He will change our lowly body

to conform with his glorified body 

by the power that enables him also 

to bring all things into subjection to himself.

 

Yet, for those who cling to the Gospel given them by Paul and imitate him as he imitates Christ, for those who trust that the stars are there even when they can’t see them, Paul shares that we too shall experience a transfiguration.

That’s our goal in life.   To be so conformed to Christ that we become little Christ’s.  Christ’s whole earthly life - his words and deeds, his silences and sufferings, indeed his manner of being and speaking - is Revelation of the Father.   (CCC 516)  That is how we count our stars, that is how we too can show that we believe.  That is how it can be accounted to us as righteousness.. if we too through our words and deeds, our silence and sufferings, if our very manner of being and speaking points to Christ.   Then we too, with Moses and Elijah can stand proudly in the presence of our God and King, looking on him face to face.  No longer hiding in the rock, no longer fearful of destruction, but transformed into our glorified selves.  Are you ready to trust?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"I must decrease, he must increase."

Happy New Years!

Tomorrow is the first day of 2016.  My wife and I went to Mass tonight in celebration of Mary the Mother of God, and in thanksgiving for all the gifts and blessings that God has bestowed on us this year.  Our life has been filled with many amazing events.  God has been challenging us this year to grow.   I must decrease, he must increase.   That could easily be the theme of my year.

I thought I might take tonight to ponder things.  Mostly to write one of those 'state of the family' addresses that most people send out in their Christmas Cards.  I did my typical tradition for Christmas cards.. I purchased a bunch, I made a list of who to send it to, I placed them on the fridge, and there they are still.  I always intend to send them out.  I never actually do.

So how are things in our family this year?

Moira is in third grade this year.  I think she is super excited that Mr. Davekos is her teacher.   He seems to have an amazing way with the kids and she is learning so quick.  She has expressed a great deal of interest in drawing and really loves to play Minecraft and watch youtubers do the same. She made her first communion this year.  It makes Mass so much more of a unifying experience for all of us to be able to go forward together to receive our Lord.

Sarah is playing the French Horn and continues to be interested in long boarding, volleyball, and 'juking'.   She will graduate middle school this year and head into high school.  Won't be long till she'll be driving, and all that jazz.

Hannah is playing some very advanced pieces with the clarinet and has a real aptitude for music.  She is in her first year of high school and seems to be doing rather well.  Her grades are quite admirable.  She too will be driving soon.  She seems very interested in social justice and women's equality issues.  A very noble field to get involved in.

Haley is graduating this year.  She has had a very fun filled senior year so far, with musicals, choir, and play practices.  She's on the go constantly.  She also has had several jobs and is continuing to work her way towards college.  She has decided she wants to go to Paul Mitchell in Chicago.  Now to find out how we will all work together to pay for it.

Julie has continued to work and is still at Lenze Americas in Glendale Heights.  I worry about her driving that far but this year she managed to get a Prius which has helped tremendously with the fuel costs.  She still loves to crochet, knit, and sew.  She has made some amazing things this year, always amazing me with how talented she is.  She continues to teach Religious Education at the church, bring Holy Communion to the Home Bound, lector and is an Extraordinary Minister at the Parish. I love that woman.

As for me, I was accepted into the Diaconate Aspriancy program this year and continue to prayerfully study toward that end.  I spend my days either studying, praying, going to Mass, or driving the kids around.  It's a blessed existence. If all goes well and it is God's will, I would be ordained in 2020.

Please continue to pray for us as we go thorugh this.   Julie and the girls support me in this endeavor but I always pray that it will be easy for them.  It's a big commitment on all of us, more especially on Julie and myself. 

So that's our year.  Like I said above, God has blessed us immensely.  As I was sitting at Mass listening to readings, I realized that they really spoke to 2015 for us.. and yet, still pointed to 2016.  The first reading mentioned peace.  "The LORD look upon you kindly and give you peace!"  That is a word that has been showing up over and over for me the past few weeks.  I think that is my prayer for 2016 for my family, for you, and for myself.   That we take the blessing personally.. that we truly realize the gifts God has lavished upon us in our family, our friends, our jobs, our faith.   Then like the blessed mother int he Gospel, let us keep all these things in our hearts and reflect on them.

Don't let a moment go by without realizing how blessed you.  As the new year begins, I will simply repeat to you the words of sacred scripture that we were graced to hear proclaimed in the Mass for January 1st, the Solemnity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Mother of God:

The LORD bless you and keep you!
The LORD let his face shine upon
you, and be gracious to you!
The LORD look upon you kindly and
give you peace!

God bless you, and Happy New Year! 

His servant and yours,
Brian