Hot Sands

Around ten years ago I had an experience that completely changed my life.  It began though around nine months before that.  My wife and I embarked on a journey of learning, though she had quite a bit more knowledge than I at that time.  The three other ladies in the house had to learn how to prepare for this as well.  Things had to be cleaned, locks had to be installed (or reinstalled.)  Various damaging things that could harm the imminent birth of our child had to be moved, secured or disposed of.  Life was changing and we had to work hard and discipline ourselves to prepare for those changes.

My wife had to change her diet, so we changed with her.  Things we normally might have eaten would have to be given up so that the child would be nourished with the proper vitamins and nutrients.  We worked hard on making sure that things didn't happen that would injure her, including avoiding high stress activities and anything that might jossle or jar her stomach in a negative way.  For nine months we prepared for that birth, for nine months we had to think and ponder what it might be like.  I was supposed to be infertile.  The doctors had told me this for years.  My wife and I had resigned ourselves to God's will in this matter.  We had not given up hope, but we didn't have a great deal of confidence that anything would come of it.

Then one day she took a pregnancy test and our world was changed.  It was filled with worry and yet joy.  Would she be healthy?  Would she have special needs?  Would she make it?  Would it be a he or she?  All things we waited till birth to discover.  Then that November I got to experience second hand what childbirth is like.  I've heard it said that a kidney stone is worse than childbirth.  If my wife's ability to give birth to children is the norm?  Then I'd say a kidney stone is a LOT worse than childbirth.  She gives birth like most people walk across hot sand.  If you move your feet fast enough it doesn't hurt too much.  The doctor came in and said "Ok, it's time."  And then? It was over.  There was this child of mine staring at me with my own face in miniature.  I watched as the nurses cleaned her and gave her some shot to boost her immune system and as the drop of blood dripped from her thigh she began to cry in pain.  I wanted to protect her but I knew it was best for her, so I stood and waited for them to hand her to us.  I knew right then I would do anything for this child, anything, even if it meant my own death.

There it is for all of you who wonder why we bother with Lent as Catholics.  Lent is the pregnancy.  It is that time when you prepare, when you discipline yourself, for that life changing event.  You get rid of those things that are harmful in preparation to nourish your new life.  As the reading for this morning says, "For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."  In Baptism we die with Christ and rise again a new person, filled with the Holy Spirit and the grace of God to go forth and change our lives.  Easter is a chance to renew that, to rekindle that romance, to draw closer to God and be more like Him.  Lent prepares us for that.  Just like with the new baby coming, anything that can hinder the growth of our new life, anything that might 'kill' or harm that new life, must be removed.

The thing is, it can't end with Lent.  Lent is not about giving up something meaningless in order to go right back to it afterward.  Lent is about preparing for that delivery of New Life that we receive in the Eucharist!  Just like you don't just ignore the baby after it's born, you can't ignore your new self either.  You have to feed it the right things, discipline it so that it can know right from wrong, nourish it, cherish it, and help it to grow into something beautiful.  That's what Easter reminds us to do.  We still have to keep those things out of our lives that we learned to remove during Lent, and continue to do those things that make us grow spiritually.  First and foremost of those is the Sacraments, but second and like to them are the corporeal works of Mercy.   Feeding the hungry, giving drink to the thirsty, comforting the sick and mourning, visiting those who cannot get out or are imprisoned... yes these things make our new life grow.  They nourish us and enhance us.

It's not something we can forget.   That's why we in the Catholic church consider Sunday a mini-Easter... it's a reminder every week that we have to continue to feed our spirit with the nourishment of Christ in the Eucharist, in Confession, in prayer and in works.  Here you are with this new life cradled in your arms, and for those of you who are parents?  You have other lives to nourish and guide that they too might grow in their faith.  It's our responsibility to guide, nourish and cherish those lives.  When you gaze at them, when you gaze at your own spiritual walk, when you gaze at the Eucharist.... ask yourself, "Would I do anything for them?"  That's what Christ asks of us.  The walk of a Christian is not an easy one, not a thing that we simply do at Church and forget about later.. it's about looking at the people we like the least, the ones we have the most hatred for.. and trying to see Christ in them... because once we do.. the world changes.. our lives change.. and with God's grace and help?  Hatred can become love.  Injury? Pardon.  Doubt? Faith.  Despair? Hope. Anything is possible.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Baby, something is happening here

It’s been a rough few days.  I haven’t really felt like doing much of anything so I ask for forgiveness in not having written on my blog.  My daughter and I both have had some sort of fever with aches and pains.  She’s had the rougher part of it, not desiring to eat or do much of anything.  Today is a bit better.  She is goofing off some, eating a little, and even giggling.  How often we take those little things for granted don’t we?  Our giggling kids, the pranks they play, their constant noise.   “Keep it down!”  “Don’t do that in the house!”  “Go outside if you’re gonna make all that noise!”   It is when they are struck with a sickness, absent, or missing that we begin to realize how much we cherish those gifts.

In Sunday’s reading Isaiah is calling out to the Israelites to remember their first date!  How often we think of the desert as a punishment, as a time when the Israelites were being beaten and trained like we do to our marines!  Toughen up!  

Hosea says it a little differently, he says: "Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her.”  Let us go back to our first date!  When our relationship was fresh, when we were alone and it was just you and I! Even creation calls out in appreciation for the miracles that God had performed for his chosen people.  This was a time for them to get to know each.  A time of butterflies and giggles, of new experiences and understandings.  In this desert wandering the Israelites were learning what it means to be in a relationship.  Just like when we first fall in love we begin to ask what does she like?  What doesn't she like?  When I am with her how should I act?  Should I text her now? Wait till tomorrow? Is it too soon to call?  God was wooing his people.. Offering them the freshest of water, the finest of foods…

As we draw toward Easter the Church has chosen these readings from Isaiah to point to what God has done for us.. ‘Behold I am doing something new!”

Behold, the days are coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah,  not like the covenant which I made with their fathers when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant which they broke, though I was their husband, says the Lord. But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it upon their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.   (Jeremiah 31:31-33 RSV-CE)

Saint Paul in the second reading talks about what that means for us, the new Church, the gentiles and the Jew united as one body of Christ.  God has wooed us again.  He wants us to have that relationship with him so strongly that he came down as a man, to suffer and die for us.  Saint Paul talks about suffering with Christ!  We aren’t perfect, Paul is clear on the fact that he does not see himself as perfect either… but we can grow.  That’s what our desert in Lent is all about… about learning to be in relationship with God… taking a moment to look back and say when was our first date?  Do I still feel that way?  Do I still get butterflies in my stomach when I am confronted with the Lord of the Universe in the Eucharist? Do I rush to the confessional to see him on my lunch break in the Sacrament of Reconciliation? Do I miss him with fondness of heart and aching soul when I am unable to visit?  Do I still long to be next to Him?  Is Jesus still the love of our life?  Or is he going to the back burner?  We should yearn to be able to say with Paul:

I for my part do not consider myself to have taken possession.Just one thing: forgetting what lies behind but straining forward to what lies ahead, I continue my pursuit toward the goal, the prize of God’s upward calling, in Christ Jesus.

Then we come to this amazingly beautiful story in the Gospels where Jesus sets the example of forgiveness.  This woman is the epitome of one who has left behind her first love.. One who has abandoned what it means to walk with God.  She is living a life of adultery.  Her partner in crime is conspicuously absent.  They throw her at the feet of the Master and demand to know, what should we do?  Do you stand with Moses? Or with Rome?  Either way Jesus would lose.. But what does Jesus do?  He writes in the sand.  What did he write?  We don’t know.  What we do know is whatever it was… made the men condemning her turn and walk away.. Then he restored her relationship with God.. he looked her in the eyes and said “Neither do I condemn you, go forth and sin no more.”  Come back to me in the desert… read the words I have written in the sands of your heart and let me woo you again.. I love you that much.. To forgive you, to remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not; see, I am doing something new! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

Jesus is offering each and every one of us that opportunity in our own desert of Lent.  He is making a way in our desert, offering us living water.   He is writing in the sand something so powerful, a word so strong, that the enemy who seeks to make us feel distant from him will have to turn and flee.. And then offering us the same thing he offered her, “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on do not sin any more.”  Are you ready to take his hand in the desert, to walk with God as his people?  Is your life changed in such a way from that personal relationship with God himself and his family that people can see it at work in you?  What does it look like?  

Every person is living in the desert of this world… from the poor, to the widow, to the refugee.. All of us are living in the world.. But we are destined for greater than that.. We are destined for walking hand in hand with our creator… to be lifted back to the dignity he created us for..  You and I with our words are writing in the sand of this world… we are writing a word for others to see… as you bend down before the world, speaking forth words that should bring life and dignity.. Words that should show you to be the people whom God formed for himself… ask yourself this one question: What words are you writing in the sand?  Do your words bring forgiveness?  Do your words turn away the mob seeking to stone and condemn? Whose child do people see you as?

His servant and yours,

Brian

“He must increase, I must decrease.”

Studying about that good ol' way

Isn’t it interesting how difficult we make our relationship with God to be?  For 2000 years we’ve constantly tried to change the teachings of the Apostles.  The Catholic church has held consistently to those teachings, so much so that if you read Justin Martyr and his apology on the Mass written in the mid second century you see almost exactly the same Mass described as you would see in a Catholic church today.  We always want something more though don’t we?  It needs to be more traditional or more progressive.  It needs to be more reverent or more folksie.  It needs to be ad orientem or ad populum.  We never seem content to hear the simplicity of the Gospel, the simplicity of what the Church truly asks of us.

I kind of see us in the man Naaman who in tomorrow's daily reading is coming to Jerusalem to be healed.  He has gotten this dread disease, leprosy.  Someone has informed him that the God of the Jews is able to heal, and so he ventures to their kingdom.  He finally is sent to the Prophet Elijah.  Elijah doesn’t even bother coming out of his abode.  Instead he sends a message to Naaman, “Go and wash seven times in the Jordan, and your flesh will heal, and you will be clean.”  Naaman is furious!  This man didn’t even come out and perform a ritual over him!  He didn’t even bother to speak to him or do anything flashy.  He didn’t send him on a quest to find some long lost item, or to slay a mythical beast… all he said was, “Go wash in the water.”   He begins to list off all the reasons he shouldn’t… first and foremost, his preconceived notion that he and the land he comes from is better than this land.  He lists the rivers that he would rather wash in, the ones he thinks are more beautiful, more worthy.  

Aren’t we a great deal like Naaman?  Jesus gave his Apostles the authority to forgive sin.  Then he gave the chair of Peter the authority to bind and loosen all things.   The Church hands us the Sacrament, instituted by Christ, of reconciliation.  All you have to do is come and confess your sins, say a penance, and your sins will be forgiven.  Do we trust in that though?  How many have walked away over this very thing?  How many times have we come out of confession and said, “All he gave me was a short prayer, I need more.”   We don’t trust in the simple words of the Church when it prophesies to us this is all it takes to be healed.  We instead try to make it more difficult, I need to go to this place or that place, have this special holy priest do my confession instead.. we shop.. we shop for priests.. we shop for churches.. and eventually, some of us shop for denominations.

Notice that in the Gospel the people again reject Jesus because of where he is from.  They reject him as a Prophet, and in the process again reject his condemnation.  “Can anything good come from Nazareth?”  “What? Wash in the the Jordan? There are thousands of better rivers back where I am from.”  Jesus offers us a simple message.  Love God.  Love your neighbor.  Then we say, that can’t be enough.. The message we have received from the Church doesn’t have enough of me in it.. it’s too much to believe in the simplicity of the message.. to believe that someone so ordinary, so familiar.. just a carpenter from Nazareth could dare to have a message that required us to forgive, and move on.  Jesus tells them it was those with faith, regardless of their background, regardless of their ties with the Jewish people.. who were healed, who were saved.

How about us?  Do we see it as only us?  Only those coming from our part of Christianity as being saved?  Only the Catholics?  Only the Protestants? Only the ones who wash in this river, but not the other?  I say to you that a stream came from Nazareth of clear, living water.  A stream that all we have to do is wash in, and believe in, and follow… and our sins are forgiven.  We need to trust in his waters, in this simple message, that God’s mercy transcends all of our human notions.  We must evangelize.  I am not saying that we shouldn’t talk about our faith.. but it’s not so much about book learning, memorization or rote prayers.. as it is about a relationship.  That’s what Christ is offering.. that’s what Naaman was learning.... when we do what we need to do be in this right relationship.. then we will be healed… Regardless of who we were, or who we are being at the moment… God’s mercy will wash over us and cleanse us.  Then we must take that knowledge out into the world and say with those who believe, “Now I know that there is no God in all the earth, except in Adonai!”  Are you ready to wash in the water?  Are you ready to give your life over to God?  

To be in a relationship means to spend time with someone.  To love them. To care for them.  To do the things that makes them happy.  If I do things my wife doesn’t like me doing, then our relationship is injured.  If however, I learn what makes her happy.. and sacrifice some of those things which I might think I enjoy, to make sure she’s happy.. then our relationship will flourish. It is only when both parties are sacrificing for the other, that everyone's needs are met. The thing is, in our relationship with God, everything that makes him happy.. will make us happy too.. Cause that’s what he wants.. happiness.. not robot movements, or automatons who do things without emotion or thought.. but genuine love.  God lived this principle in the person of Christ to show us the ultimate sacrifice, the true genuine love, of giving of oneself completely. Our faith is the response, our sacrifice the response. So let’s use what time we have left in Lent to grow in that love.. to fast from those things which are harmful to us, and to add in those prayers and activities which help us to grow in covenantal fidelity to the Lord.

His servant and yours,

Brian

“He must increase, I must decrease.”

Why don't your eyes see me?

Illustration of Lazarus at the rich man's gate by Fyodor Bronnikov, 1886.

In tomorrow’s Gospel we see the familiar passage in which Jesus speaks a parable about Lazarus and the rich man.  He tells the Pharisees in his presence about these two men and how they lived their earthly life.  One was a poor beggar who sat at the rich man's doorstep begging for scraps.  The other an extremely wealth man.   A man not just presented as well to do, but extremely wealthy.  Dressed in purple and fine linen, he dined sumptuously. 

sumptuous[suhmp-choo-uh s]
adjective
1.entailing great expense, as from choice materials, fine work, etc.;costly:a sumptuous residence.
2.luxuriously fine or large; lavish; splendid:a sumptuous feast.

Here is this man who has these magnificently lavish feasts daily, not just on special occasions.  His life is full of excess, full of carnal pleasures.   How great a contrast we have with Lazarus, the beggar.   This man has no fine clothing.  He sits begging at the door of the rich man's abode desiring to even eat the crumbs that fall from his table.  Alas, they are consumed by the very dogs that lick the poor ragamuffins’ wounds.  He has no one to support him, no one to bandage and dress him that he might get better, but is tormented by the very animals that eat the food he so ardently needs to survive.  

Oh how this speaks to my heart during Lent as we try to raise money to build a well to bring clean water to those in distant countries who do not have any, or have very little access to them.  We who sit lavishly in our homes with an unlimited supply to be had.  They who just wish to drink of the drops that we so dishonorably waste in our excess. How can we not recognize Lazarus, the hungry beggar in the parable (cf. Lk 17:19-31), in the multitude of human beings without bread, a roof or a place to stay? How can we fail to hear Jesus: "As you did it not to one of the least of these, you did it not to me" (Mt 25:45)? (CCC 2463)  During the super bowl this year, the only football game I actually chose to watch, there was this amazing commercial about water conservation.   Colgate took a moment to highlight how much water we truly do waste, how much we take for granted, how much we let fall to the wayside to be consumed by the dogs of our sewers, instead of protecting for those who have none.  They sit at the gate of our hearts and beg to partake of just our scraps, and are we aware?

When the disciples begged Jesus for their own crumbs, he fed them exorbitantly from the masters table.   They said Master teach us how to pray and he so obliged, not holding back but opening up the floodgates of heaven with the prayer that is familiar to Christians of all backgrounds. In the Our Father we ask specifically for our daily bread.    This speaks of trusting in God for God’s provision, not that we should become lax in our duty to try and earn our bread, nor that we should just stop providing and protecting our families, but that we should be aware of the blessings we receive.  

But the presence of those who hunger because they lack bread opens up another profound meaning of this petition. The drama of hunger in the world calls Christians who pray sincerely to exercise responsibility toward their brethren, both in their personal behavior and in their solidarity with the human family. This petition of the Lord's Prayer cannot be isolated from the parables of the poor man Lazarus and of the Last Judgment. (2831)

How felicitous it is that the Church has been guided by the Holy Spirit to share this pericope of scripture with us at this point during Lent.   To remind us of our duty to the poor as we are reminded of one of the three pillars of the journey through the desert, almsgiving. What are we doing to help those in need?  How are we using our prayer, fasting, and almsgiving to bring that change into the world and into our own hearts?  It’s not enough to simply conserve water, we need to be sharing it.  God does not give us these wonderful blessings in our lives to be hoarded in our cabinets for future meals of our own.  He intends them to be given out to those who have none.  That is why the goal of Lent should not just be to reduce our consumption through fasting, but to then take that money that we have saved and use it to feed another.  

It’s an opportunity for us to go out to the gate of our own hearts, lift up Lazarus as he sits watching our comfort, bring him into our home and bandage him, clean him up, care for him and nourish him to health.  Lent is supposed to change us.  It’s supposed to draw us closer to who Christ is.  Christ heals.  Christ cures.  Christ feeds.  Christ loves.  As I sit here in my heated home, typing on my chromebook, surrounded by loved ones, books, comforts.. blessings, I realize I am not doing enough. How about you?  Remember too that there are two responses to Jesus message today.  Lazarus was downtrodden, a broken man who sat at the mercy of the world.  Yet, we see from his presence in Abraham’s bosom that he never blamed God for it.   He never turned his back on his faith.   The rich man had every material comfort needed, but when he died he went to eternal torment.  It’s apparent that in his faith he knew he needed to repent, he knew he needed to serve, he knew what he was doing was wrong.  He kept it all for himself.

Which are we today? Are we Lazarus? Do we put our faith in God no matter what comes? Are we the rich man?  Do we ignore God’s prompting to do good and simply lavish ourselves with comfort in a grand hedonism?  Today if you hear the voice of the Lord, harden not your heart.  Trust in God.  Find comfort in his promise. Find a way to reach out to those in need materially, physically, and spiritually.  You have been called to the greatest feast of all time, the wedding feast of the Lamb. You receive the most extravagant meal in the entire universe in the Eucharist... are you sharing those crumbs? Or keeping them for yourself? We are the hands and feet of Christ, we have work to do Church!

His servant and yours,

Brian

“He must increase, I must decrease.”

Don't You Want Somebody to Love?

“For me to be a saint means to be myself. Therefore the problem of sanctity and salvation is in fact the problem of finding out who I am and discovering my true self.” – Thomas Merton

A reflection on the
readings for Daily Mass 2016-2-23

This quote from Thomas Merton continues to present itself to me during this time in the desert.  Society does not want us to find out who we are.  Rather, society expects us to become a clone, to fit the mold.  We seem to teach the opposite don't we?  Our children are informed that they must accept every person for who they are, and to avoid bullying.  Those are both noble gestures and at the same time something that can be misinterpreted.  It seems to have been taken to an exceptional level through which we truly mean 'don't judge my behavior.'  Everything seems to be game as long as it doesn't hurt someone else directly.  We seem to want to avoid that discussion though in which we begin to define what might happen indirectly, and what might happen to the person who is doing the 'doing.'

Our people have lost the concept of who they truly are.   The evil forces in the world wish us to believe that we are worthless.   That only when we conform to the same agenda as the people currently in charge will we be right, while at the same time proclaiming 'You are right, and I am right.'  We seem to have lost that notion of objective truth.   Truth exists outside of us.  It is not something that we determine, it just is.   That's a hard pill to swallow in an extremely secular society that rejects the notion of anything outside of self.  The thing is, if we examine it with reason and logic we find that there is a truth, there are things which we would never say were right no matter who was doing them.  Rape, abortion, incest, murder, theft, adultery.   All societies at all times have seen that these things are bad, to the point that in the teaching of the Apostles (the Didache) things like abortion are mentioned specifically.

The problem is authenticity.  Where is your heart?  Jesus reminded us that where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:21)  For the Jewish audience the heart was the central core of the man ,what made him who he is.  What you desire, what you work for, where you spend your time and your money... that is your desire. That is your God... your idol.. the thing which you worship.   We can fall into that error easily.  We can place everything before God... our work, our hobbies, our religion, even our families.  It's only when we discover who we truly are, when we discover the human that we are created to be, can we ever hope to put things aright.  How do we know though what God created us to be?  Adam and Eve were created perfectly but then came The Fall.   Since then we've suffered from concupiscence, from our own lusts and desires, from a tendency to do that which feels good and seems good regardless of the consequences.  How then can we learn who we are?  Can we learn the truth?

First and foremost, by spending time with God.   God has revealed himself to us in the fullness of one person, in Jesus Christ.  Faith is not just a blind obedience.  It is a relationship.  It's a method of learning not only who Jesus Christ is, but rather also learning who we are.  Each of us in created in his image.  Yet, just like every marriage.. what works for one relationship, doesn't always look the same in the other, but they definitely can both be loving.  God doesn't want you to give up your uniqueness.  He doesn't want you to become a robot, a person who only does what everyone else does, but rather someone who expresses their unique individuality in the fullness of who they are.  You are created for good.   Genuflecting at mass, is a good.   Why though? That's what we need to learn.  So that when you understand your faith, when you understand the actions, words, and deeds that are asked of you.. you can choose them from your own intellect, choose them on your own, and perform them as an authentic you.

That's what the problem was with the Pharisees.   Jesus does not condemn their teaching.  He even reaffirms that they sit on the throne of Moses.  He doesn't say 'find a new church, or make your own... if your teacher is a hypocrite?  Find a new one, or become your own Pope.'  No, Jesus tells us do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their example.  Jesus says choose good!  Be authentic!  Don't just go through the motions.  Learn the motions... ask why.... then choose which is good and reject that which is evil.  It does not mean that for one person being called to chastity is good, but for another it is not.. being called to chastity is always a good!  It means though that how you express that, how you live that.. looks different based on who you are, your vocation, and your personality.

You are made in the image of God!  You are off infinite worth! St. Therese recorded these thoughts just to remind the rest of us how much God loved us.  One of her favorite things was the snow.   She wanted it to snow on the day of her vows, she desired it with all of her heart.   She says:

That January day, the weather was so mild, snow seemed unlikely. However, upon returning to the cloister, the first thing that struck my eye was the statue of ‘the little Jesus’ smiling at me from the midst of flowers and lights. Immediately afterwards my glance was drawn to the snow: the monastery garden was white like me! What thoughtfulness on the part of Jesus! Anticipating the desires of his fiancée, He gave her snow. Snow! What mortal bridegroom, no matter how powerful he may be, could make snow fall from heaven to charm his beloved?”

Do you realize that?  That's your worth!  God loves you how you are, but too much to leave you there.  He loves you enough to do anything for you, to bring you to his love.. to bring you to the good.  The Pharisees were doing a lot of good things... but their hearts weren't in it.. they weren't in love with God... they were in love with just the Law.  The law isn't a bad thing.. the bible isn't a bad thing... but there is so much more... there is a person, Jesus Christ.  Are you in love with him? Or just the thought of him?  As we journey through Lent that is what we should be aiming for.. to fall in love for the first time.. or fall in love all over again.. with that person who created the entire universe just for us... just for you.. just for me.... If only one of us believed, if only one of us would have been saved... he would have gone to the cross for just that one lost sheep.... Let the shepherd come get you, and then rest on his shoulders as he carries you into an authentic relationship.. a true love... eternal in the heavens. God is calling us to set things right and then to trust in him as he washes us white as snow.

That is how much he loves you.. the question is... how much do you love him?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

My Testimony From the Desert

Every time I read about Queen Esther I am struck by a particular scene from the movie One Night with the King.  It's the pivotal moment of the movie and of the history of the Jewish people.  Here this young woman is faced with a difficult and terrible dilemma.  She can remain silent and watch as her people are exiled and murdered, or she can go before the King of Persia and beg for his mercy.  Either way she is in danger of death.  To go before the king unannounced in this country was to be murdered, unless the King extended his scepter to you to forgive your intrusion.

As we read that first reading we see how she prepared for this moment.  She went down prostrate upon the ground, not just her but also all those with her, and they prayed for God's guidance and protection.  She gives us an example of prayer that I think is often over looked.  She asks God to guide her speech and her actions.  She realizes that she could very well die, but even in her fear she declares that God is her only help, her only recourse.  Let me share with you that dramatic moment from the movie that always sticks in my mind:

Esther trusts the King.   She walks up the steps even with all her fear, with her anxiousness.  She takes one step at a time never doubting that God will protect her.  That even if the earthly King doesn't extend his scepter to her the great and all powerful King will.  Often times in our lives we don't understand what God has in store for us.  While we can try to guess, the truth is that we see through a veil.   God is and always will be at the core mysterious, beyond our mortal comprehension.  Abraham had to take the steps up the mountain with Isaac at his side, trusting in the King.  Noah had to load his family in an ark and watch the world be destroyed by water, trusting in the King.  Moses had to lead his people through the towering walls of water to the other side, trusting in the King. You and I, no matter what life brings, must take one step at a time... knowing that even if we don't understand, we can trust in the King.

Jesus reminds us though in the Gospel that Esther's first step was the most important one, she consulted God.  She prayed! Jesus tells us that what we ask we will be given.  He reminds us that God is our Father.  Our relationship with him is an intimate, a personal one.  He isn't just some transcendent deity who is not involved in our mortal affairs, but rather he's our daddy, our Abba.   Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asked for a loaf of bread, or a snake when he asked for a fish? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him. How often we think that way though don't we?  Our faith in God is often marred with our own fears, our own doubts.  We worry that God won't give things to us in a way that is good for us, or that he won't give it to us in a way that we will enjoy.  Yet, God always gives us that which love requires to make us grow. 

Esther was a prototype for us.  She was a glimpse of things to come.  Of another woman who stood before the King giving complete and utter trust to his plan, to his protection.  The blessed Virgin Mary.  She walked each step regardless of her fears.   She took on a role in salvation history that no other human has done, with the danger of losing her own life.  As she stood at the foot of the cross watching her only son suffer and die a horrible death, she trusted that God was giving her bread from Heaven, not a stone or snake.  Oh how we should wish to be like that!

Are you ready for this?  To march up to the doors of those doubts, those fears, those temptations and thrust them open.  To storm the castle of your life and march up the steps to the King, not in arrogance but in quiet confidence of his provision?   That's what Lent is about.  Today's readings remind us of the first pillar of Lent, prayer.  As we journey through this desert together let us pray for strength, for confidence, for trust, and maybe even more importantly: obedience.  May we through the discipline of lent grow to be more like Esther and Mary, to trust in the mysterious ways of God so fully that even threats of mortal danger will not dampen our unconditional yes to his plan.


His servant and yours, Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

I've heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night

The other day I read an article about how that the current generation of children are being raised to believe that not recycling a soda can is just as bad or worse than looking at pornography.  I thought that must be complete bunk.  How could that even be possible?  So I asked a few teens myself.  Guess what?  It's true.  So much so that even in one of our classes we started to see that notion of environmental responsibility being the utmost of responsibility for a holy life.  We were discussing what the world would be like if God's kingdom was a reality here on earth.  What would it be like if people really didn't take more than they needed?  If they shared what they had?  if they loved instead of hated?  What would God's reign look like?

We got some of the answers I expected: peaceful, no war, less worries, etc.   Then came other words I would never have expected.  "We'd all be robots."  "No one would have any fun."  "Life would be boring."  After talking with them a few minutes they began to open up and say things like, "I couldn't use my cell phone because it would create pollution."   That's not what God's reign is about.  It's not about taking away fun, but people are convinced it is.  They are bound by the rules they have in their head, not the rules that we have in our faith.  They associate holiness and piety with dryness and boredom.  How do we get past this?  How do we find our way beyond a superficial understanding of what God has to offer and realize that what he is offering is pure happiness, joy and freedom?

In tomorrow's Gospel we see Matthew's version of the Our Father, this is the one we as Catholics use in our liturgies.   In that prayer I believe lies the truth of the happiness that God has to offer.  The first line itself speaks volumes, but we more often than not take it for granted.   Our Father.  God is not a distant deity that transcends everything and never interacts with us.  Rather, we are in a personal and intimate relationship with the trinity.  We have been given the honor and blessing of calling God Father, Abba, Papa, Daddy.  That's closeness... that's tenderness... that's family.   God is offering us a family of peace.  A family of love.  A family of understanding.

He's not asking us to give up pleasure, no, pleasure can be good.  Rather he is asking us to use those good things, those good feelings, those enjoyable devices and technologies responsibly and reasonably.  We don't have to give up our cell phones, our gaming devices, our televisions, or our hobbies to be Catholic.  What we do have to do though is to do those things with not just ourselves in mind, but with the entire world.  Yes, technology can create pollution.  More over, it can create a moment in which our lives are consumed with our self, with our ego.  Those are bad things.  The cardinal virtues though remind us to be detached from that.  That doesn't mean destroying these things and living a bland, meager existence.  It rather means that we take steps to make them enjoyable and responsible.  Solar chargers, limiting our time, sharing our experience, making sure to watch things that bring joy but also avoid temptations, etc. 

We pray in that same prayer "thy kingdom come, thy will be done."  That isn't just speaking of Jesus return at the end of time, but also of the present moment.  God's kingdom is going to be fulfilled in a completeness at the end of time that may not be possible in the here and now, but it is also present and tangible imminently.   You and I as members of the body of Christ have a responsibility to bring about the Kingdom.  Through temperance, through fortitude, through prudence, and justice.  It does not mean that we cannot enjoy ourselves.  It does not mean that life should become dry and void of entertainment.  It does mean that we should consider God and our fellow man in everything we do.  If we are enjoying an expensive meal while our brother starves?  There is something wrong with that. If rather, we are enjoying a similar meal for less money and inviting our brother to dine with us?  That's justice.  That's peace. That's the Kingdom.

Here it is Lent and many of us are trying to grow closer to Christ.  We are giving up things.  We are trying to participate in the three methods the church encourages us to use: prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.  Let's not forget those people who are still struggling in a land of limbo... the persecuted Christians being chased and murdered by ISIS.   The refugees fleeing their countries trying to find a life for their family and children.   The men, women, and children being murdered by the drug cartels just across our border.   The homeless, underemployed, sick and homebound in our very own neighborhoods.   That's what Lent is about.  We aren't supposed to fast alone, but to give as well.  So take the extra money you might save by eating smaller meals and buy something for someone who is struggling.  Shovel a driveway.  Take up someone's garbage cans at the end of the day when you bring up your own.  Smile. Hug.  Remember, one of the most important things to do at this time and throughout the whole year, is to work on those corporeal works of mercy:

Feed the Hungry

Give Drink to the Thirsty

Shelter the Homeless

Visit the Sick

Visit the Prisoners

Bury the Dead

Give alms to the Poor

I think that's our lesson today as we examine the words of Christ when he teaches us to pray "give us this day our daily bread."   This speaks of a super substantial bread, a bread that is Eucharistic in nature.  It's our duty as Catholics to take that bread into the world both physically and spiritually to provide the needs of others.  Us.  Not give me.  We are praying for us.  You are receiving something powerful in the Eucharist, something that should be given to others.. in your thoughts, in your words, and in your deeds...

His servant and yours,

Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Be Holy, As I am Holy

As we journey through Lent, one of the professors for our Diaconate class asked us: What does it mean to be holy?  I find this sort of reflection invaluable at this particular time as we struggle with temptation in our own deserts in preparation for our own Easter. 

Growing up as a Protestant gave me a different view on what it means to be Holy than I have now, though I believe it still influences me in that respect. My primary example of what I believed was a Holy Man would have to be, and still is in many ways, my grandfather. My grandfather was an old regular Baptist preacher and truly tried to live his life for Christ. He didn't allow many things in his home, from Biology books to “playing cards.” His way of life revolved around Sacred Scripture. He truly tried to set himself apart from the ways of the world.

I think that that in and of itself is a beautiful thing. The word itself, Holy, has roots that point to being set apart, being different. The Old Testament is filled with an example of how that God truly wanted his people to stand out, to be different than those around them. Holiness then rightfully boils down to one statement, though it is not limited to only it in anyway. I will take you as my own people, and you shall have me as your God. (Exodus 6:7) That is how I understand those 613 commandments presented in the Tanakh, as an example of how that the ancient Israelites understood they should behave in that relationship.

The Jubilee years, the Sabbath, the great Jubilee.. all intimate a way for us to do just that. Not only to reflect the extremely personal relationship that they were in with their deity, but also to allow them to do so in a way that reflected who He was. In sharing in His merciful outpouring of grace and forgiveness, they were able to be more like Him. That to me speaks volumes. That God, who did not need rest, allowed us to be able to not only take a rest when we frail humans needed one, but also be able to be more divine in our actions by doing so.

Then the Father took this even further by sending his Son to take on human flesh. By God becoming man he sanctified a way of life. Then speaking in His own words from the sermon on the mount he portrayed to us that propriety in a fullness that expresses what it means to be fully human. God has given us a path through the Beatitudes that exemplifies a paradigm that would change the world if embraced by all people. A paradigm that is best expressed by Jesus himself on the cross. Saint Thomas Aquinas in his eloquent method of speaking expounded on the four spheres of influence that tend to lead to sin. Power, Wealth, Pleasure, and Honor. He surmised that all sin is rooted in one or more of these temptations. Jesus gave us the Beatitudes as a perfect antidote to those spheres, then he lived them out on the cross. As a man on the cross he had no power, he was nailed in place. He had no wealth as they gambled for his clothing on the ground below. He had not pleasure but pain and discomfort. He had no honor but rather the death reserved for the most heinous of all criminals.

In today's society it seems that to be holy is seen as someone who simply attends church regularly, is a 'good' person, and doesn't judge others. To me, being holy has become something even more profound, that is to be more like Christ himself. We should be different, we should be a peculiar and a particular people. Not because we want to be, but because Christ calls us to a radical separation from the world in our manor and behavior. He calls us to Sainthood and a level of perfection that is only possible through releasing control of ourselves to the Holy Spirit. My Grandfather had a powerful idea of how to express that in his conduct and activity, but I disagree with some of his methods. That's truly the crux of the issue. To be holy means to be configured to Christ in our actions and our lives. That might look very different than how the ancient Israelites did it, and in fact it might look different based on our different vocations and stations of life, but it is a calling that every single Christian is called to. It does not mean that we will be perfect or immaculate, but will actualize perfection via a Sacramental life.

Honey, You're a Shipwreck

Ash Wednesday.  Such a powerful service to attend.  To receive ashes on our forehead to remind us that form dust we come, to dust we shall return.   The Church is packed.  Isn't that intriguing?  On a normal weekend you don't find the pews that full.  At most Holy Days of obligation you find them sparse and rarely attended.  Then comes the day that reminds us that we are going to die.. and everyone comes.  There is something about that unity.   That bond.  That common ground.  A service in which everyone gets the ashes, regardless of faith or background, regardless of standing or sin.  We all march forward, we are one.  Human.  Dying.  Hoping for resurrection, but painfully aware of the need to pass through the span of a heartbeat to the gate of eternity.

Jesus reminds us in the Gospel for today that we must be authentic.  It's really about the heart isn't it?  God isn't interested in empty show or perfect rote.  He isn't interested in how much you've memorized, can quote word for word, or if you know the name of every object in the Sacristy.  He doesn't care if you're speaking Latin, Hebrew, or Arabic.  No, what he cares about is what is on the inside.  He wants to get rid of your heart of stone and replace it with one of flesh.   He loves you, and he desires that love back.  Everything you do then, he wants to be done with authentic love.  Not because you have to do this way, but because you are in a relationship and want to make the other person happy.

God says to the people in the book of the Prophet Joel, return to me with all your heart.  You know that really is an important thing about relationships, isn't it?  How important is it to have your entire heart into it?  I'm not talking about those ooey gooey feelings that sometimes come, though those are nice.   I'm talking about being 100% committed to the person you love.  I knew a guy once whose wife left him.  She came back.  During that time she was there only physically.  Sure they slept together.  They ate together.  They talked and did things with each other.  Yet, her heart was not there at all.  It was a hollow and empty relationship, her heart was always with the other man she had grown to love instead.  Their relationship never got better and eventually they divorced.  You see, the relationship was only one sided.  He was putting 100% into it, but she was giving less than all.  She was giving the actions... she just wasn't giving the heart.

No matter how we try, a relationship requires that heart felt commitment.  That choosing to love even when you don't want to.  That giving of yourself completely, even if you're angry.  Not just on the surface, but with every part of your being.  God wants us to know how much he loves us.  He talks about us as his spouse, his love, his very body.  All he asks for in return is the heart, all of it. Oh how sometimes we botch that up.  We go through the motions. 

That's what Lent is about.  It's about prayer, fasting, and almsgiving... but from the heart.  It's about giving up things that help you draw closer.  The Jewish people saw the heart as the core of what makes us human... to be fully human then is to be like God, to be like Christ.  So like Christ we go away in silence and prayer, we pray with others, we teach them to pray, we draw close to God every moment.  Like Christ we prepare ourselves for difficult times and decisions by fasting.  Like Christ we give everything we have, everything we are, both physically and spiritually for those in need.  That's what we need to do for Lent.  To give up things that are standing in the way of us having a heart of flesh.  To remove those things in the way and add those things that will mold us towards Christ. 

Yes, Ash Wednesday is just the beginning.. and Lent just a journey on the way... because we are heading to Easter.. and one of these days, all of us are going to die.  Every one of us has that in common.  Easter for us is coming.  It could be today.  It could be tomorrow.  It could be fifty years from now... it's up to us to be prepared.  40 days in the desert ahead of us, let's set our feet firmly on the right path.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Breathe In Me, Father Breathe in Me

Tomorrow at Daily Mass we continue the story of the Prophet Samuel.  Today we talked about how that God had rejected Saul for not being obedient, for not listening.  So God sends Samuel to anoint a young Shepherd Boy.  David was the King that everyone looked up to in Jesus time.  Solomon was great, but David was greater.  Not because David was perfect.  Oh no, all of us know that David was a very flawed man.  From adultery to murder, he was a sinner just like the rest of us.  He though had a propensity for doing God's will. Because of this God had him anointed as King of the chosen people.  That's what we need to be doing isn't it?  Trying to do God's will.  Discerning what God wants in a given situation, and then going and doing that... regardless of the cost.

The thing about it is, like David, we are going to fail sometimes.  Our kids are watching.  Our families are watching.  Our friends are watching.   That's ok.  We should fail.  We aren't perfect.  The thing is, what are you doing when you fail?  David gives us the example of how this should be.  When he realized he had sinned against God he immediately confessed his sins and turned back to God.  That's what we need to be teaching, through our words and actions.   Not that we are perfect, not some kind of egotistical piety, but rather... a true piety... A sincere confession.  One like David proclaimed in Psalm 51 when he poured out his heart poetically:

Have mercy on me, God, in your kindness.
In your compassion blot out my offense.
O wash me more and more from my guilt
and cleanse me from my sin.

My offenses truly I know them;
my sin is always before me
Against you, you alone, have I sinned;
what is evil in your sight I have done.

That you may be justified when you give sentence
and be without reproach when you judge,
O see, in guilt I was born,
a sinner was I conceived.

Indeed you love truth in the heart;
then in the secret of my heart teach me wisdom.
O purify me, then I shall be clean;
O wash me, I shall be whiter than snow. 

David was God's anointed.  He was chosen, anointed, and given authority.  He was a prototype for someone to come.  You see, Messiah means anointed.  Jesus is the Messiah, God's anointed par excellence.  Jesus came doing God's will perfectly.  He gave us the example of how to live.  That's why we must begin to slowly become more like our Lord and Savior.  Our goal in this life is to be like Him, to grow more holy and to become Saints.   That's what Baptism is about.  In Baptism we are anointed Priest, Prophet, and King.   We too are anointed.. we are little Christ's.  In Confirmation we are strengthened, again by the Holy Spirit with the oil.  We are sent into the world as part of the body of Christ to bring about God's will.   We should strive to be more like Jesus, more like David, in that we work to make it a habit to do God's will.   We need to become predisposed to always follow God in everything we do.  We might fail.  Our response to the failure should be like David's.   We should come to God in Confession and then get back on that horse. 

How do we do this?  Frequent reception of the Sacraments is a good start.  The Eucharist is an amazing thing.  It's the only food that you can eat.. that consumes you.  You have to let it though.  Think for just a moment about what we believe.   We believe that Jesus Christ is coming into our bodies, all of Him.  The power that created the universe.   The power that holds it all together.   The creator, the almighty, God himself.. comes inside of us.  We can't consume him... unless he let's us... and likewise, we have free will.. he won't consume us, unless we ask him to. 

Jesus talks about the Sabbath to the Pharisees.  They are accusing him of breaking the Law.   His disciples are picking grain and eating it.  Jesus reminds them that there are obligations, sacrifices that must be made on the Sabbath.  The Book of Numbers (28:9) talks about work that must be done on the Sabbath.  That work does not violate the Sabbath, why?  Because it is serving God.   Jesus reminds us time and time again that serving others IS serving God.  That when work needs to be done to heal, to share, to love... then do it.  The Sabbath was made for our rest.  We weren't made for the Sabbath, it was made for us.  We rest when we have to.  We worship God... but we never stop caring or loving. 

As we continue through these few weeks of Ordinary time, we must begin to realize that Lent begins in just a few more weeks.  Lent is a time in which we give up something.  I think we should think carefully this year.  Lent is not a time for just giving up something, but rather a time to change.  It's a time to give up something that draws you closer to God.  Sure, give up chocolate... that's fine.. but what do you do with it?  Go further.  We are challenged by the church to do three things.  Prayer, Fasting, and Almsgiving.  Prayer is often easy enough.  Plenty of Stations of the Cross, Divine Office gatherings, Adoration hours etc during Lent.  Fasting most Catholics are pretty good at.  We choose something to give up.  Facebook, chocolate, coffee, smoking.  The Almsgiving though.. that one I think all Christians can work on.

So this year, as you think about what to give up.. ask yourself.. If I give up chocolate.. what can I do with the money I would have spent on that chocolate?   If I am giving up coffee?  How much do I spend on coffee... then go out and give that money to a worthy cause.  There are plenty of people out there who can use it.  The poor.  The refugee.  The veteran.  The widow.  The orphan.   That's what Lent is about.  You are to be a little Christ.. a deliverer, a messiah, one to lead people out of oppression.  You are to free the captive.  Part the waters.  Feed them.   Provide for them.  Guide them. 

Then when Lent is over it isn't supposed to stop!  Lent is supposed to be a time to draw you closer to Christ.. to allow God's spirit to so overwhelm you that when people look at you, they begin to glimpse Christ himself.  In your words.  In your actions.  In your love. 





Augustine wrote, “Verbum caro factum est, et habitavit in nobis; illi carni adjungitur ecclesia, et fit Christus totus, caput et corpus - “The Word was made flesh, and dwelled among us; to that flesh is joined the church, and there is made the whole Christ, head and body.” (On the Epistle of John 1.2)

 

Think about that for a moment.  Christ is the head.. but we are the body.  We receive Him in the Sacraments.   We become priest, prophet and king.   That means we are to show people how to worship, how to have a relationship with God.    We are to bring God's word to them.  In season, and out of season.  We are to speak about Jesus, speak about love, speak about the Word.  We are to aid in reformation, and admonish, but above all to love.   Then we are to protect, to guide and provide for.  A good king is not a tyrant, but rather a defender.  A man who steps up for the one who cannot speak for themselves.. those forgotten.. .those marginalized by society.  He doesn't just care about those subjects in his court.. but all of his country, all of his people. 

That is our challenge, to realize our anointing, realize our need to serve God at all times.. and to realize that it is in serving others... that we serve Him best. 

“At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by "I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.”
― Mother Teresa

I don't know about you, but I have work to do.  Let's not forget the refugee, the widow, the orphan, the unborn... Let us live our baptismal calling as more than just a Sunday devotion, but as a way of life... Let's allow Christ to come into our bodies and consume us, to change us, to make us more like Him.. that we too might partake of his divine nature and be transformed into an eternal being, a being made of pure love.

His servant and yours,

Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Gone Fishing.

Ah, with tomorrow's readings we start back into Ordinary Time.   Our English language makes that sound dry and bland, plain.  The dictionary gives it the synonyms of normal, common, routine... But that isn't what Ordinary time is about.  The etymology of the word though, ordinalis,  shows us that the word has more the connotation of being 'ordered.'  That is time that is being counted, time that is ordered to something.  Ordinary Time then is a time in which we are heading toward something, or maybe more accurately, an event or a someone. 

Ordinary time begins right after the Christmas season.  After we have spent weeks celebrating the birth of Christ, we then celebrate his Baptism, which marks the beginning of his earthly ministry.  Then we begin to count, we are ordering time... drawing towards something.   The next event will be Lent, and then Easter.   That means Ordinary time is leading us toward Christ.  It is leading us, ordering us, guiding us, toward his death, and his resurrection.  That's what Easter is about.  It's about not just death, for that would be very gruesome on it's own.   Rather, it leads us through death and into eternal life. 

Then we celebrate Easter for a good amount of time, another octave.   Then back to ordinary time.  Time that is leading us, ordering us towards another event.  That event is the Parousai, the end of the liturgical year reminds us of the end of time.  It reminds us that Jesus has promised to come again.  When he does he will usher in a new creation, a new heaven and earth.  The judgement day.  Then we start again with Advent, leading to the birth of Christ.

What do we learn from this repeated ordering of time?  We learn that our lives should be lived in an ordered fashion.  First thing God did with the universe?   He brought order out of Chaos.  He sent his Holy Spirit to put things in order.   We too must order time to God.  Our lives, our spirits, should be ordered toward Christ.   That's what the Liturgical year is in place to remind us of.   That being disciples of Christ means ordering our lives, patterning them after his.  It means taking time throughout the year to contemplate the mysteries of his birth, life, death, and resurrection... to remind us that he will come again and that we must be ready for it.

What do we do in the mean time?  How should we act?  How should we behave?  Tomorrow's Gospel is a very powerful one to start this time, to begin ordering our lives toward Christ.  Jesus calls his first two disciples.  He tells them to follow him, and he will make them fisher's of men. They immediately left their nets, their family, their livelihood, and followed Him.   That's our first example.  We are to listen to our call, and immediately begin living it.    Yes, that's what ordinary time is about.  It's not about counting down till the time we will begin to live our faith.. it's living our faith in an ordered, Godly fashion, as we head toward our own Easter.

You and I have something very much in common.  We all will eventually die.   Some of us sooner.  Some of us later.   It is appointed unto man, once to die and then the judgement.  That's what Ordinary time is about.  So here I am, like Father Ev Hemann, whom I have named this blog after; living my life in Ordinary time.. anticipating my own Easter, and longing for the end of time where all of creation will be redeemed for our Heavenly Father. 

So I leave you instead with the link to a blog that speaks of Ordinary Time in a way that I can never match, in a way that changed my own personal walk and my own understanding of this season of the church.    I pray it touches you, as it touched me:  Ordinary Time.

His servant and yours,

Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."