What's for dinner?

I struggle with my weight.  I've always been a large person and had a love/hate relationship with food.  I guess the main reason is that, like most mortals, I love the taste of those things which are bad for me.  That is why we try not to keep them in the house.  Then I find myself wandering through the kitchen looking for something to eat and not being able to find something that fits the bill.   I open the pantry, I stare into it, I close it.   I repeat that same procedure with the refrigerator, the freezer, and the cabinets.   Eventually, back to the pantry.  Soon we are picking up the phone and ordering something or going out to some restaurant.  It's not a good thing for my weight when I do that... I don't need a 'buffet' anything.

We take that for granted, don't we?  As we were driving to Ohio this past weekend we got stuck in the traffic for Lollapalooza and the baseball game.  For hours we were literally stopping and going, moving only a few feet every minute.  My daughter and I were being silly and waving at people we didn't know, pretending to be royalty travelling through our kingdom.  I noticed that on one of the subway platforms one of my subjects was digging through the trash for something to eat.  There I was, severely over weight, not realizing how good I really have it.  Here is a man, as important and loved by God as I am, digging through the waste for food.   I, who have plenty to eat, often ignore the buffet before me because it's not good enough.  This man, who digs through the trash for that which I throw away, is happy with anything he can find to eat.

The sad part is we do that with relationships as well.   Society tells us that sex is just something we do.   It tells our kids that masturbation not only feels good, but somehow is healthy for them.   It encourages porn as a way to spice up things.  Then it tells us that marriage is a thing of the past and that relationships were not meant to be permanent or even monogamous.   If it feels good do it!  That is the mantra of many these days. They look at the Church and it's buffet and simply pick and choose, or better yet walk away to another church that can give them that which seems to fill their sensual pleasures in a more pleasing way.  Crumbs.   But as it is written: “What eye has not seen, and ear has not heard, and what has not entered the human heart, what God has prepared for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9 NABRE)

Even more wretched is that we do that with our relationship with God.   We would rather choose to sit in a chair and play a game than to go to Mass.  To spend Friday night at a Baseball game, rather than at Adoration.   We would rather not have the permanence of the Covenant but want all the benefits.  The music isn't good enough, the sermons are too boring, confession makes us feel uncomfortable, and that one guy breaths so loudly that you hear it over the microphone from the Choir.   So we walk away from the pantry and look for a new source to feed us.   We settle for crumbs, crumbs that sometimes are beautiful and fulfilling, but they are just a glimpse of the banquet that God has set for us.   He offers so much more than we can even pretend to understand.   He offers us a glimpse into reality, a reality so far and beyond the things we detect with our senses and into a realm that exists outside of time.   Eating crumbs is good, but why not go to the table and sit with the Master?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease." 

A reflection on the daily Mass readings for Wednesday of the Eighteenth Week in Ordinary Time: August 3rd 2016.   Jeremiah 31:1-7;  Responsorial from Jeremiah 31; A reading from the Holy Gospel According to Matthew 15:21-28

Every Heart Beat

When I was a young man I attended church at a First Baptist Church in a small town in rural Virginia.  They used to reward us for memorizing scripture.  Free pizza hut pan pizzas, candy, even money.   The very first challenge I received in youth group was to memorize the 23rd Psalm.  "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want."  I still remember sitting in my room at night opening my King James bible and closing it, reciting what I could and then repeating, until I could say the entire Psalm without fault.  That week at Wednesday night youth group I received a certificate for a free personal pan pizza.  I didn't even realize the true gift was the Psalm itself, all I wanted was free food.

Years later I find so much comfort in that Psalm.  When we pray it in the Liturgy of the Hours or sing it at the Mass it touches me in ways that I cannot express in words.  The very thought that Ezekiel expresses in the first reading for today when he says that God himself will be the one to enter into the dark, cloudy places where we have been scattered.  That He will be the one to give us rest, the one to pasture and feed us.  How apropos that the Church in her wisdom has chosen these very readings.   To remind us that even in the darkest of times God will set a table for us, and all we have to do is come in and eat.  He himself will robe us and put a ring on our fingers.  Heaven itself will rejoice at this one single sheep coming back as if they were the only one in the universe, ah how grand a party that will be!

478 Jesus knew and loved us each and all during his life, his agony and his Passion, and gave himself up for each one of us: "The Son of God. . . loved me and gave himself for me." He has loved us all with a human heart. For this reason, the Sacred Heart of Jesus, pierced by our sins and for our salvation, "is quite rightly considered the chief sign and symbol of that. . . love with which the divine Redeemer continually loves the eternal Father and all human beings" without exception.

Christ died for us while we were still sinners.  That's so powerfully important for us to understand.   It isn't about getting right first, it's about letting Him make you right.  I have heard people say "when I get more time, then I'll pray more."  Or "I'll go to adoration when I retire, I'm too busy now."   God does indeed love you exactly as you are, but too much to leave you there.   He wants the best for you.  He wants you to live that life of fullness that he created you to live.  Not a life of half truths, not one filled with clouds and darkness, but one filled with joy and peace.   That peace comes directly from a relationship with the Shepherd.   It is He who will provide you with food to pasture on, and He is indeed the very rest you seek.

"Our hearts are restless until they rest in you." - St. Augustine

God seeks us out in the darkness where we are, and He sets a feast right there before our enemies.   The thing is, that feast does not leave us unchanged.  He IS our pasture.  The incarnation, the Sacred Heart, became man that man might be transformed into that image that he was created to be.   Every day at Mass he condescends to our level, becoming what we need, sustenance.   Food.   Drink.  Bread and wine.  It is in this way that Christ pastures us.   He gives us himself to eat, the true bread from Heaven, the real Manna, greater than anything our forefather's received in the desert.   It is this very bread which gives us life, which transforms us, if we let it, into the body of Christ itself.   We become 'christ's' in the world.

That means we are challenged by this Eucharistic feast which we partake of.   Challenged to not just be pastured and find our rest, but also to go out into the world as shepherds.   To find the lost sheep and guide them to the table in the midst of their own enemies.   To point them like sign posts to the Eucharist, to the Church, to Christ himself and show them the peace and joy they can only receive in a relationship with Him.  We must feed them.  We must help them find rest.   The darkness is all around us.  Poverty, illness, abortion, moral decay....  These are just a few of the clouds and darkness that gather around our children, families, and friends.   These are the oppressions which push down the widow, the orphan, and the refugee.   Brothers and sisters, The love of God has been poured out into our hearts.  Are you ready to leave your comfort zone, and be the vessel through which God can reach the one who is lost?  Are you ready to be the living heartbeat of Christ's sacred heart, drawing others to Him through the sound of your own life?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

I'll Meet You There

In the early nineties I did a science fair project that got a bit of recognition at the local and state level.   It wasn’t that great a project when I think back on it.  I wrote some software for a computer that generated images based on Fractal Geometry and Iterated Functions.  Basically creating pictures from math.   At one point I got several awards and qualified to be sent to not only the State Science Fair but the International one in Biloxi, Mississippi as well.  I was ecstatic and so were my friends and family.   My mom and dad gave me enough cash to take everyone out to eat pizza.  Since my little Dodge Daytona was full already my brother was going to be dropped off at Pizza Hut with us and we would all celebrate together.

We drove the thirty minute ride back to Clintwood from Wise, Virginia listening to music, chatting and laughing.  As we pulled into the Pizza Hut parking lot we noticed that not only was the parking lot full but there seemed to be a line out the door.  My friend Michael suggested we go to another pizza place down by the post office.  I had never been there and they assured me the pizza was better.  Twenty plus years later and I cannot even remember the name of the place.   What I do remember is that we were having a great time until my mom came marching through the door with that look on her face.  You know the one where you are in so much trouble that you know not only your middle name is going to come out, but your last one too?  My brother had been sitting at Pizza Hut for over an hour waiting for us to show up.  I had completely forgotten him.

In my exuberance of being able to take my friends out to eat and my pride at celebrating my winning project I had forgotten him.   I had made it all about me.  Myself.  I.   I still to this day think about that day.  How my brother had to sit waiting for us.  How I didn’t even think about him.   How that I was so self absorbed that all that mattered was impressing my friends and filling my own stomach.  It was all about “what is in it for me.”   

That’s the image I get from the Gospel for the Mass today.  James and John seemed to be asking Jesus that very question.  “Hey Jesus, what is in it for us?”  They aren’t worried about the other disciples at the moment, not worried about the people who are following along afraid.  Instead they want a reward in the kingdom to come.   Jesus shares with them what their reward is going to be:  You are going to die.   James and John had just heard Jesus declare that He was going into Jerusalem to die.  They declare they can drink the same cup He is going to drink.  That’s a hard cup to think about, but they declare like we often do “We can!”  It’s easy to say, but harder to do.   Yet, they did.  All of the Apostles but one were martyred for their faith.  They drank that cup.

In Peter’s epistle he reminds us that we are challenged to love one another intensely with a pure heart.  I didn’t love my brother back then the way I should have.   I was too worried about myself, about my own needs.  Jesus declares that we must drink of his cup.  That means to die.  Now here in America at the moment we don’t often have to worry about dying as a martyr for our faith.   The challenge though is a spiritual one.  Are you willing to die to yourself?   To your own needs?  To look outside of yourself to serve the other?  That’s our call as Christians.  To be servants, humble and meek of heart.   To serve the widow, the orphan, the poor, the refugee.  To worry less about our own reward and more about our brother sitting alone waiting for a meal and companionship.  We have no idea who will be here tomorrow, so we must live in the present.  So are you ready?  Oh how easy it is to say “We are!  We can!”  But Jesus is saying to each and everyone of us: “You do not know what you are asking. Can you drink the chalice that I drink or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?”  Are you ready to put yourself aside and let Christ live through you for those less fortunate?  With man this can be impossible, but with God all things are possible.  

We are called though to realize that Christ is in every person we meet, every person we see. "Whatever we do for the least of these, you do for me." How many times have you walked by your brother as he sat desiring communion, desiring a meal, desiring just a moment of your time? This time when I say I will meet you there, I’m not going to forget.  One day I hope that my brothers and I can sit across from each other at the Wedding Feast of the Lamb and share in that communion that is self giving, self sacrificing, and all encompassing.   

His servant and yours,

Brian

“He must increase, I must decrease.”

Why don't your eyes see me?

Illustration of Lazarus at the rich man's gate by Fyodor Bronnikov, 1886.

In tomorrow’s Gospel we see the familiar passage in which Jesus speaks a parable about Lazarus and the rich man.  He tells the Pharisees in his presence about these two men and how they lived their earthly life.  One was a poor beggar who sat at the rich man's doorstep begging for scraps.  The other an extremely wealth man.   A man not just presented as well to do, but extremely wealthy.  Dressed in purple and fine linen, he dined sumptuously. 

sumptuous[suhmp-choo-uh s]
adjective
1.entailing great expense, as from choice materials, fine work, etc.;costly:a sumptuous residence.
2.luxuriously fine or large; lavish; splendid:a sumptuous feast.

Here is this man who has these magnificently lavish feasts daily, not just on special occasions.  His life is full of excess, full of carnal pleasures.   How great a contrast we have with Lazarus, the beggar.   This man has no fine clothing.  He sits begging at the door of the rich man's abode desiring to even eat the crumbs that fall from his table.  Alas, they are consumed by the very dogs that lick the poor ragamuffins’ wounds.  He has no one to support him, no one to bandage and dress him that he might get better, but is tormented by the very animals that eat the food he so ardently needs to survive.  

Oh how this speaks to my heart during Lent as we try to raise money to build a well to bring clean water to those in distant countries who do not have any, or have very little access to them.  We who sit lavishly in our homes with an unlimited supply to be had.  They who just wish to drink of the drops that we so dishonorably waste in our excess. How can we not recognize Lazarus, the hungry beggar in the parable (cf. Lk 17:19-31), in the multitude of human beings without bread, a roof or a place to stay? How can we fail to hear Jesus: "As you did it not to one of the least of these, you did it not to me" (Mt 25:45)? (CCC 2463)  During the super bowl this year, the only football game I actually chose to watch, there was this amazing commercial about water conservation.   Colgate took a moment to highlight how much water we truly do waste, how much we take for granted, how much we let fall to the wayside to be consumed by the dogs of our sewers, instead of protecting for those who have none.  They sit at the gate of our hearts and beg to partake of just our scraps, and are we aware?

When the disciples begged Jesus for their own crumbs, he fed them exorbitantly from the masters table.   They said Master teach us how to pray and he so obliged, not holding back but opening up the floodgates of heaven with the prayer that is familiar to Christians of all backgrounds. In the Our Father we ask specifically for our daily bread.    This speaks of trusting in God for God’s provision, not that we should become lax in our duty to try and earn our bread, nor that we should just stop providing and protecting our families, but that we should be aware of the blessings we receive.  

But the presence of those who hunger because they lack bread opens up another profound meaning of this petition. The drama of hunger in the world calls Christians who pray sincerely to exercise responsibility toward their brethren, both in their personal behavior and in their solidarity with the human family. This petition of the Lord's Prayer cannot be isolated from the parables of the poor man Lazarus and of the Last Judgment. (2831)

How felicitous it is that the Church has been guided by the Holy Spirit to share this pericope of scripture with us at this point during Lent.   To remind us of our duty to the poor as we are reminded of one of the three pillars of the journey through the desert, almsgiving. What are we doing to help those in need?  How are we using our prayer, fasting, and almsgiving to bring that change into the world and into our own hearts?  It’s not enough to simply conserve water, we need to be sharing it.  God does not give us these wonderful blessings in our lives to be hoarded in our cabinets for future meals of our own.  He intends them to be given out to those who have none.  That is why the goal of Lent should not just be to reduce our consumption through fasting, but to then take that money that we have saved and use it to feed another.  

It’s an opportunity for us to go out to the gate of our own hearts, lift up Lazarus as he sits watching our comfort, bring him into our home and bandage him, clean him up, care for him and nourish him to health.  Lent is supposed to change us.  It’s supposed to draw us closer to who Christ is.  Christ heals.  Christ cures.  Christ feeds.  Christ loves.  As I sit here in my heated home, typing on my chromebook, surrounded by loved ones, books, comforts.. blessings, I realize I am not doing enough. How about you?  Remember too that there are two responses to Jesus message today.  Lazarus was downtrodden, a broken man who sat at the mercy of the world.  Yet, we see from his presence in Abraham’s bosom that he never blamed God for it.   He never turned his back on his faith.   The rich man had every material comfort needed, but when he died he went to eternal torment.  It’s apparent that in his faith he knew he needed to repent, he knew he needed to serve, he knew what he was doing was wrong.  He kept it all for himself.

Which are we today? Are we Lazarus? Do we put our faith in God no matter what comes? Are we the rich man?  Do we ignore God’s prompting to do good and simply lavish ourselves with comfort in a grand hedonism?  Today if you hear the voice of the Lord, harden not your heart.  Trust in God.  Find comfort in his promise. Find a way to reach out to those in need materially, physically, and spiritually.  You have been called to the greatest feast of all time, the wedding feast of the Lamb. You receive the most extravagant meal in the entire universe in the Eucharist... are you sharing those crumbs? Or keeping them for yourself? We are the hands and feet of Christ, we have work to do Church!

His servant and yours,

Brian

“He must increase, I must decrease.”

Where's the bread?

Refugee Holy Familyby Angel Valdez

The readings for today could not be more apropos for so grand a Saint as Saint John Neumann.  To be a Saint means to have embodied what it is to live the Christian life faithfully and in imitation of Christ.  This Saint did so in a powerful way that should inspire each of us to live more fully the calling we have received and taken up in our Baptism.  We are indeed the body of Christ.  We should be reaching out to the poor, the down trodden, the alien, the refugee. Have we forgotten that in our affluent society?  Mayhaps even all of us are taken with a bit of this 'afluenza' that is so conveniently tossed around as a medical condition these days?

In the first reading we see this powerful line: Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love.   How poetic and difficult this one line is to hear.  Jesus challenged us to love not just our friends, not just our family, not just those who are good to us.. but even those who are our enemies, those we cannot stand, those who turn our stomach into a wrestling ring for our dinner.  Yet, if we do not know love.. we do not know God. 

Then we see an image of Christ's love in the Gospel, the feeding of five thousand.  Christ asks his disciples to give them food to eat, and they remind of that old Wendy's commercial, "Where's the beef?"  “Are we to buy two hundred days’ wages worth of food and give it to them to eat?”  "Where are we gonna get that kind of bread Master?"  Here they are with God himself and still haven't figured it out.  Jesus, the Word, has already equipped them with everything they need to feed this crowd.   They've seen him cast out demons, heal the sick, bring the dead to life, calm the storms.  He has proven himself the master of all, from the body to nature itself.  Then he says something as simple as 'feed my flock' and they wonder how it can be done.  Jesus of course already knew the answer, and his command over the very laws of nature itself is demonstrated for the glory of God in the multiplication of loaves... taking what would normally only feed a few souls and feeding thousands with more left over than that which he started with.

When Saint John Neumann came to America to be ordained a priest, the church he was assigned over had no steeple or floor.   That did not deter him.  Even though his Parish stretched across an amazing distance, from Western New York to Lake Ontario, he travelled on foot to visit the coal miners, the sick, the immigrant.  When he found that a great deal of his congregation spoke Gaelic, and remember this is a time of severe persecution for the Irish immigrant, he learned the language himself that he might hear their confessions.  He who had been given the Bread of Life, took it directly to the people, celebrating Mass with them even at times on their own kitchen tables.

That's what you and I are called to do, in the means of our own vocations.  You see, love is not love without another.  One can say they love themselves, but that is truly ego.  Love is love when it is given.  That is why we believe God to be a trinity... because God is love.  Yet, even though the Father and the Son loved one another, so much so that it became another person, that love was not held on to for just themselves.   No, it poured out.. it overflowed... it came out into the universe, creating and building... for us.  A love that to this day calls out to us and seeks us, asking us to become one with it.  God sent his only-begotten Son into the world so that we might have life through him.  God wants us to be partakers of his divine essence, to live for eternity with Him, to become like Him.   We have received that promise thorugh Baptism, been strengthened through Confirmation, and renew our covenant and relationship with him through the Sacraments.   That's not all though. It doesn't end there.

Jesus said, “Give them some food yourselves.”   He multiplied the bread, but he expected the Disciples to provide it.  He multiplies our love, but he expects us to provide it.   Just like Saint John, we must journey out into the world and start providing the bread.   We must reach out with what we have been given, and share it with those who do not have it.  This is on both a physical and spiritual level.  We not only need to share the Word, reaching out to those who do not know Christ, and inviting them into a relationship with him; but we also have to share those blessings we have been given with the world. 

It's so easy to forget that there are those out there who do not have.  In a time of celebration, in a time that is often excessive and gluttonous, there is often a feeling of comfort and joy; and there should be.  We cannot forget the people who have no such comfort.  Christmas of all times is a reminder of refugees, of people fleeing a repressive regime, of a man and woman with a new born child, who are journeying into a country not their own.  Have we forgotten them?  We must ask ourselves, are we looking for the Holy Family?  Do we continue to seek Christ as he seeks a safe place to live?  Remember, at the end of time we will not be judged on degrees, certificates, or eloquence of speech, for not even Moses had that.  What we will be judged on is: when I was naked, did you cloth me?  When I was hungry did you feed me?  When I was thirsty did you give me drink?  When I was in prison did you visit me?

At the end of Mass we are given a sending, a message from the Church to it's body... It is not a time to go home and go back to a normal worldly life.  It is a calling from Christ to go forth, and glorify God with your life.  It is a calling for you to reach out to the alien, the widow and the orfan.  It is Christ saying, "Give them some food yourselves."   He will take your meager offering and turn it into a feast worthy of a King.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."