What is the least I can do?

A Reflection on the readings for Friday of the thirteenth week of Ordinary Time, July 1, 2016.

Amos 8:4-6, 9-12
Psalm 119:2, 10, 20, 30, 40, 131
The Holy Gospel According to Saint Matthew 9:9-13


I almost did not write a blog today.  You see, my summer assignment was to write three days a week and every Sunday.   Then I read the readings today after reading Stu and Robert's blog and was convicted by them to look inward and ask myself why I am just doing the bare minimum.  Other weeks I have written all five week days.   This week I just felt down, worn... out of energy.   I had just mowed my yard and was laying back in the recliner when my alarm went off to remind me that we had Eucharist Benediction at 7 tonight.   So I went.  I am glad I did...

"If we but paused for a moment to consider attentively what takes place in this Sacrament, I am sure that the thought of Christ's love for us would transform the coldness of our hearts into a fire of love and gratitude."
- St. Angela of Foligno

You see Amos was talking to the people about something that we ourselves are very guilty of thousands of years later.   The people saw God as a burden, the Sabbath as a loss of money.  They were just punching their card and looking good to the people all the while bemoaning the day of rest that God provided them.  Then they left the temple, left the Sabbath and fixed their scales and cheated others to make up for the money they had lost by keeping their oath.  How often we do that today?  "How late can I show up to Mass? Do I have to hear the readings? Or just be their for communion?"   "When can I leave?  Do I have to wait for the song to be over?  The blessing?  Or just for the priest to leave the room?"  "Do I have to go this Thursday?  Is it a holy day of obligation?"  "What can't I do on Sunday?  Should I eat out or stay home?"  Always looking for the least we have to do, instead of realizing the gift we have been given.   Instead of asking "How long can I be there before? What time do the doors open?"  "Can I stay for a few minutes after to spend time with Jesus?"



God warned them that this sort of life of just doing the minimum led to a loss... it would lead to a day when the word of God would be gone from their presence.  A day when creation would realize how horrible a thing had been performed.   That day was on Calvary just around two thousand years ago.  As the Word of God hung on a cross and pronounced it was finished, creation itself groaned and mourned.  The sky darkened as if by night, the ground quaked and shook, the temple veil itself tore from the top to the bottom.  A man standing at the foot of the cross was converted instantly as He saw the Word's demise before his gentile eyes.   "Surely this man was innocent."  What would that be like?  That sense of emptiness?  That sense of longing?   That moment in which we realize that something is wrong, that something is missing from our lives?

"Our hearts are restless, till they rest in thee."  - St. Augustine 

That is exactly what we experience when we sin mortally.   When the Word is no longer visible to us, when the universe itself goes awry and we are unable to find happiness.   The Word comes again to us in the Sacrament of Penance to make us whole, to complete us.  He is resurrected!    He wants you to be resurrected too!   That thing you are missing, that happiness and joy you are seeking.. is found right here, in the Eucharist.. in the Holy Sacraments of the Catholic Church.   Don't just punch your card.. find time for this relationship with the Son.   He wants to be a part of your life and you, you have been seeking Him from the moment of your conception.  It's time to put Him in your schedule first.. then add the rest of the things in your day around Him.   That's when we find joy.. that's when we find love...

So do they know you by that?   The Sacred Scriptures remind us that they will know we are Christians by our love for one another.  A saying attributed to Gandhi goes "I like your Christ.. but I do not like your Christians."   That's because what they see when they look at us alone is creation groaning... our soul darkened and shadow.. our very being quaking and the veil of our soul ripping as it cries out to the world the emptiness it feels when God is taken from it's presence..... Are you ready for Him to come in and fill you so completely that your heart overflows with joy?  It's the year of Mercy.. and Reconciliation is just a moment away.

In the life of the body a man is sometimes sick, and unless he takes medicine, he will die. Even so in the spiritual life a man is sick on account of sin. For that reason he needs medicine so that he may be restored to health; and this grace is bestowed in the Sacrament of Penance. - St. Thomas Aquinas

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease." 

Ever touch an electric fence?

A Reflection on the readings for Daily Mass, June 30, 2016.

Amos 7:10-17
Psalm 19:8-11
The Holy Gospel According to Matthew 9:1-8

When I was younger my grandfather kept telling me not to go down around his garden.   He had this electric fence that he had put in.  He told us not to grab hold of it or it would 'bite' us.   The funny thing was we kind of enjoyed it.  The thrill of doing something dangerous, something we shouldn't be doing... and even better, holding on to someone else who didn't know we were going to touch the fence.  For years I goofed around with that and even found myself as an electrician not being super careful around low voltage.  People warned me that it could be dangerous, the books warned me, my mind warned me, but I didn't care.  I kind of liked it, it made my arthritis pain go away.   Then one day I was wiring a light in a school in Kingsport, Tennessee when my arm brushed the aluminum ceiling grid. It wasn't a hundred and twenty volts, but rather two seventy seven.   I found a new level of pain, one I did not enjoy.. one that left me aching.. one that made me hear clearly in my head the sixty hertz cycle of the transformer.   I thought I was screaming, I was trying to throw it away... but I couldn't move.. I couldn't speak... I was paralyzed.  Eventually it let me go, but I had learned my lesson the hard way.

Amos has been warning Israel of the consequences of their actions.  In the first reading he tells them this is what is going to happen if you keep on the path you are on.  Like me and my little dalliance with electricity eventually it's going to catch you.  As a man whose dad was electrocuted when I was only five years old, you'd think I'd have had more respect for it.   I wanted it though, I enjoyed it.   Just like the society of that time, and even our society today, they are doing things that feel good.   They want them.  They don't realize how dangerous it is.  How much it hurts! Sin and it's glamour tends to draw us in, to paralyze us, to addict us.   We find ourselves falling into the same trap that St. Paul speaks about when he says: "Those things I want to do, I do not.. those things I know not to do, that I do."  It traps us in a cycle where we find ourselves coming back to the Sacrament of Reconciliation time and again for the same sin, the same old temptation.. almost unable to help ourselves.

Just as an animal becomes a stronger beast of burden and more beautiful to behold the more often and better it is fed, so too confession - the more often it is used and the more carefully it is made as to both lesser and greater sins - conveys the soul increasingly forward and is so pleasing to God that it leads the soul to God's very heart.
--Revelations of St. Bridget

That's the key isn't it?  We are unable to help ourselves.  It's only through Christ that we can be cured.  The Gospel reminds us today that when we are paralyzed and unable to move, that's when those around us must pick us up and carry us to Christ.  When we are trapped in sin and unable to get out, that's when we need the Sacraments the most.   We as Catholics have to help those who need God: society, our friends, our neighbors, our kids.    It starts though with a different person: our self.  All of us have some sort of pet sin, something that we haven't let go of.   It's that pesky beam in our own eye that keeps us from being able to see clearly enough to help someone else with a speck or a splinter.  We like touching that electric fence too much to stop.. even though we know it's going to hurt, even though we have tried time and again.  What we've got to do is sit at the feet of Jesus... and let Him say to us, "Your sins are forgiven. Go forth and sin no more."  Then to trust in that... we have to pick up our mat and walk.  

"In failing to confess, Lord, I would only hide You from myself, not myself from You."--Saint Augustine

Are you ready for that?  As a Catholic that's what Reconciliation (Confession/Penance) is all about.  It's about allowing the Church to carry us in on our mats, to place us at the feet of Jesus and when He sees the faith of the body of Christ he says "Go forth, your sins are forgiven."   That's the greatest miracle of all time.  That God has given us a way to not only move away from the electric fence, but to live knowing that any permanent damage isn't done.   If you need someone to carry you on your mat, call me.  I'll drive you.  I'll wait in line with you and hold the door for you when you walk in.  Then I'll get in line too, because I keep falling back on my mat as well.

His servant and yours,
Brian
"He must increase, I must decrease."

Setting the World on Fire

A reflection on the readings for June 16, 2016.

Sirach 48:1-14
Psalm 97
Gospel of Matthew 6:7-15

In this mornings first reading we see a list of all the amazing things that Elijah and Elisha did in their earthly lifetimes.  From raising to dead to controlling the elements, we see these men of God were truly endowed with the Spirit of the Most High.  Elijah was of course taken up in the fiery chariots into Heaven and Elisha even continued to perform miracles after his death.  We as Catholics believe that to be a sign that the person has gone on into Heaven with God.   That's why we name those who have been shown with much evidence to have miracles attributed to their names as Saints.

The thing is Christ said that not only would we do the works that he did, but that if we truly believe we will do even greater things. (John 14:12-14)   That whatever we ask, no matter what the task, it will be done.  Of course we know that it requires us to be asking in the right Spirit, to be asking for something which is God's will.  How though can we expect to be transformed into living Saints?  Men and women capable of things beyond ourselves?  Images of Christ himself walking among the population of the world, changing our own environments.

In the Lord's prayer, which we pray at every Mass, we ask for our daily bread.  This of course has the connotation of being cared for, right?  Just as the scriptures remind us that we are more valuable than a flower or a bird, they also remind us that God will provide us for our needs.   So, yes, we ask for food to get us through the day.   The word there, though, in the original language does not say exactly daily, as much as 'super substantial bread.'   Give us this day the bread that is beyond bread, the bread of which it's substance is more than just bread.  The bread that feeds us, that makes us grow.  The bread that does not get consumed by our body to make it part of us, but rather consumes us and makes us part of it!  That's right, the Eucharist.

Christ calls us to be more.  He himself comes to us in the form of our most basic of needs, food and drink.   He then begins to transform us through Communion, through the Eucharist, into himself.   He gives us the power to become living Saints.  We have to be ready though, we have to accept that grace and allow it to transform us.  What does that look like?   What examples do we have of those who have been transformed?  That's why the Church gives us a Canon of Saints.  These are the men and women who it is clear from examining their lives and the miracles around them, are already in Heaven.  Just like Elijah and Elisha, the Saints are those who have lived lives that shout out to God's Spirit living in them, and even after death have been shown to have miracles associated with them.

One of those men was Saint Padre Pio, who was canonized on this day in the year 2002.  Padre Pio was known to do many miraculous things.  From bi-location (being in two places at once) to seemingly being able to see into another persons heart and soul.  He would often tell people in the confessional that they forget "this" sin and then proceed to tell them what it was.  Can you imagine that?  Being reminded of something that the other person has no earthly way of knowing?   Yeah, that would be a powerful moment.  He also received the stigmata, the wounds of Christ in his physical body.  From levitation to clairvoyance, Padre Pio shows us what being filled with Christ's Spirit can look like here on earth.

Now, of course each of us is called to a different station in life.  Some of us might not be Capuchin Friar's like Padre Pio, nor able to hear confessions.  The thing is, Jesus also reminds us that miracles were not His primary mission.  Rather He was sent to bring forgiveness.   Padre Pio offered this in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  It should not surprise us at all that miracles happen in that sacred, Sacramental encounter with Christ.  What is more miraculous than the Prodigal Son returning or the one lost sheep being found?   The angels rejoice when we enter that Sacrament and confess before God himself and ask for forgiveness.  How often do we fail to see the beauty and need of that?  The most powerful part of it is though, that when we leave there we are challenged to take that into the world.

One of my local confessors always has the same penance for me.  "Pray for those you have hurt."  That's a powerful moment.  Even though someone else might be completely unaware of the thoughts or anger I've had toward them, Christ asks me in the confessional to pray for them.  Prayer is a moment that doesn't just change or effect things, but also changes and effects me.  It is a moment for me to bring about that other part of the Lord's prayer, "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven."  Yes, prayer is a moment for me to bring God's will into my life and to open myself to the grace that can change me into a Saint.  It's not something we aim for just after this life, but something we should be aiming for right now... Where to start?  By going into the world and offering them forgiveness.  The same forgiveness we receive in the Sacraments.  What miracle could be more powerful than that?   Can you imagine if the entire world were 'infected' with the forgiveness and love of the Father?  What can I do? I'm just one person?  Remember, it only takes a pebble to start an avalanche.   Are you ready to be God's whirlwind of flame to set fire to the world?

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Look Into the Light

Most people who know me, know that I used to be a commercial electrical foreman.  One of the first things I would do on a construction site would be to get up some sort of lighting.  The first lesson I learned out there in the field was that it's very hard to have quality work if you can't see what you are doing.  It was amazing though how much detail came out when you really lit up the place.  A counter might even look pretty decent with the lights off, then you turn them on and the dirt and grime of the construction process was evident at a glance.  Then I began to see some shady practices that went on out there in the world of commercial sales.  Customers would request certain 'temperature' bulbs for certain applications.  One large food supply store would ask for red tinted bulbs in the meat section to make the food look fresher.  A package of ground beef with a slightly grey tinge would take on a nice, even red hue when placed under these lights.  Another would ask us to lower the wattage in the kitchens so that it wasn't as easy to see the imperfections or lack of cleaning.

That brings me to a spiritual reality that works on those same lines.  The closer you get to light, the easier it is to see imperfections.  The closer you get to the purity of God? The more obvious the filth and dirt in our souls becomes.  That's what sin is really, it's a marr, a missing of the mark.. a dirty spot on our soul.   If you read any of the writings of the Saints you'll see that as they drew closer to God, they felt worse and worse about even the smallest smudge.  After all in a relationship shouldn't we feel bad about the slightest of infidelities?  There are two reactions though that one can have.  One can draw to the light, see the smudges and be convinced they need to clean it up; or one can flee from the light and go for those things which they prefer to the effort it takes to carry their cross.

We humans are fickle things aren't we?  Most of us know exactly what we need to do to be closer to God in our lives.   We like those things though that feel good, that reward us temporally and physically.   We have that pesky concupiscence that makes us want power, pleasure, honor, and wealth.  Christ in the beatitudes challenges us though to put those things in their proper place.  To instead draw closer to the light, to examine any and every log that we might find in our own lives before ever considering to look for even a speck in someone else's.  

Today's Gospel reminds me of the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  All too often people run from Confession.  Why?  Jesus says it very plainly: For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come toward the light, so that his works might not be exposed.   We don't want the light to expose what we've done.   In our basements, in our private times, behind closed doors, when not everyone sees.  We fear what the Priest might say or think about us, or even at times we cling to that sin.. the one we don't want to give up.. the one we know we should.  That's pretty much the definition of Hell isn't it?

You see, our faith teaches us that Hell is a choice we make.  It also teaches us that God is an all consuming fire.   Fire burns.  What does God burn?  He burns out the sin.   The Sacred Scriptures tell us that God is a refiner at the furnace, purifying us like gold or silver.  He melts us down and slowly removes the dross.  Someone once told me that the way a refiner knows that the gold or silver is ready is when he can see his own reflection in it.  Think about that for a moment.. when God can see not us in our actions.. but His Son, Jesus Christ.  What happens though when we don't let go of sin? It burns.... I truly believe that for those who have any attachment of sin, that's what happens after this life.  Those who die with no sin attached?  Straight to Heaven.   Those who have an attachment but want to let go of it, and want to cling to God?  Purgatory.  Those who refuse to give up the sin?  Hell.  For eternity God's love washes over them trying to remove this sin from their soul.. this stain... and it burns... but they hold on to it and blame God for the burning.

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.   It is God's hope that by sending his Son, the light itself, into the world that it would help every single person to see the areas of sin they needed to work on and remove them from their lives.   That's what the Sacraments are all about.   Confession cleanses us, it allows us to walk into the light and say Lord, give me the grace to remove those things that being in your presence makes me aware of.  Then the Eucharist, oh that marvelous and beautiful Sacrament that is the sign of our faith!   In it Christ himself comes to us and washes over us with his love and embrace.  I am never more aware of my sins than when I come up that aisle to receive Him into my body.  I trust though, that as I draw near to the purest of all lights, and as even the smallest speck of venial sin glares at me, and the demons of this world call out to me and tell me I'm not worthy... I place it all at the foot of the cross and say, "You are right.  I'm not worthy.  I just trust my Savior."  As John said, "Whoever believes in him will not be condemned, but whoever does not believe has already been condemned."

So ask yourself this morning what is standing in your way?  Like the Apostles in the first reading, each of us has a prison that we've been locked into.   God has been sending his angels to us in the dark night of our oppression to open the doors and to send us on our way to tell others about this life.  What is your prison?  What is holding you back?  What sin has you locked behind it's doors preventing you from living that life of joy, freedom and faith that comes with the grace of God?  Let Him open the doors.  They are locked but God holds the key, and He Himself handed that key to the Church.  Go receive it for yourself in the Sacraments.

His servant and yours,
Brian

"He must increase, I must decrease."

Wash me and I shall be white as snow

It's two days before Christmas and the story continues with more about John the Baptist and his birth.  The Old Testament reading has some interesting imagery in it though.  It talks of sending a messenger before him, to prepare the way.  Then it says the Lord will come suddenly into the temple.  This particular book, Malachi, was probably written during the exile, several hundred years after Elijah had been taken up in the Chariot of Fire.  It talks about Elijah's return.  Later in the New Testament, hundreds of years later, we see them say that John came in the Spirit of Elijah to fulfill this prophecy. 

What I find interesting though is the two images of God we find here, the images of one who is coming to prepare us.  The first image is that of a refiner.  It talks about refining Gold and silver.  Refining of course means to take an ore with impurities, apply a great amount of heat, then to scoop off the dross from the top.  Dross means the worthless, impure parts.  You keep repeating this until you're left with pure silver.  How do you know though? How does one know when silver or gold is refined?  Someone once said, "When you can see your reflection in it."  That speaks volumes in revelation to who God is.  We will be what he wants us to be, when he sees Him in us.  Wow.

Then we see this other image.... the image of a fuller and fuller's soap. A fuller is one who works with cloth.   He spends his day stomping the cloth in his vat, stretching it out on frames, beating it with feet or a club, continuing to do this until it is clean and shapely, in many cases even bleached white.  He keeps working the fabric, until it is the shape and size it should be.  If it's not perfect?   He goes through the whole process again.  Stretching.  Beating.  Cleaning.  Purifying.   Until it is exactly what it should be.  Perfect.

In the Gospel we see the people, the very ones who were friends of the family, the ones who probably worked and lived around Zechariah... being scared of what John represented.  All of these miracles around his birth.  His father unable to speak, but then miraculously being able to talk after naming his son in agreement with his wife and God's plan.  They were scared.  They've been waiting for the Messiah, but they aren't quite ready.   They are filled with fear.  They take all of these matters into their hearts though, and acknowledge that God is at work and has his hand on John.

I think that is our lesson for tomorrow.  That as we approach Christmas we should be asking, are we ready?  Do we realize how much of a miracle Christmas is?  How much of a miracle the Eucharist is?  Are we living a Sacramental life?  Are we opening our hearts to let Christ be born in them?  It is time for us to be serious about our walk with Christ.  God is not asking you to wait till you're clean..  He's not asking you to get your life straight first..  He is asking you to invite him in.  The Church is preparing the way.  It has shown you what you need to do.  Now it's time for you to open the doors of your heart and suddenly there will come to the temple the LORD whom you seek.   You and I are the temple of the Lord.  Let Him come in.

It doesn't stop there though.  The Lord loves you right now, just the way you are.  He loves you too much to leave you that way.  Let Him then transform you.   Let him refine you.  Purify you.  Mold you. Shape you.  How do we do this?  A Sacramental life.  Receive him in the Eucharist.   Confess him in Reconciliation.  Seek His grace.  You and I cannot do this alone.  With God though, all things are possible.   Christmas is in two days.  You don't have to wait two days to have Christ born in your heart.... start today... .then ... every day continue to grow in Christ. Until we can live our lives in a way that reflects the heart of the Psalmist when he wrote:

Indeed you love truth in the heart;
then in the secret of my heart teach me wisdom.
O purify me, then I shall be clean;
O wash me, I shall be whiter than snow.

Make me hear rejoicing and gladness,
that the bones you have crushed may thrill.
From my sins turn away your face
and blot out all my guilt.

A pure heart create for me, O God,
put a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from your presence,
nor deprive me of your holy spirit.

Give me again the joy of your help;
with a spirit of fervor sustain me,
that I may teach transgressors your ways
and sinners may return to you.

O rescue me, God, my helper,
and my tongue shall ring out your goodness.

O Lord, open my lips
and my mouth shall declare your praise.

His servant and yours,
Brian

Take My Yoke Upon You

As we continue through Advent toward Christmas we see this very familiar saying.  Look at the beauty of the words that our Savior gave us:

Jesus said to the crowds:
“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am meek and humble of heart;
and you will find rest for yourselves.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

Rest.   That's what we are all after, isn't it?  With the fast pace and bustle of the world.  With work, school, obligations, sports, friendships, family, hobbies... there is no shortage at all of things that need to be done.  How much do these things fill our lives to the point that we are indeed burdened and in need of authentic rest.  Jesus tells us to take his yoke on us.   Wait? What?   You want us who are already burdened to put on a yoke?  A yoke is a tool used with beasts of burden... It is to harness them to the load and have them pull it.. .how is that restful? 

It's because the yoke that Jesus wants us to put on.. is a training yoke.   You see when you have a new ox, a new animal that you want to train to work on a farm, you harness it to one that is experienced.  The one with the experience shows the new one what to do.  Where as you can train them the hard way.. making them learn from their mistakes... letting them rub themselves raw against the yoke until they finally figure out the right way to do things... When you harness them to an experienced worker they learn from that worker, faster.. easier.. sharing the load.   They still have to do the work, but the work doesn't seem as hard.. and they get the support of the one who already knows what to do. 

That's what Jesus wants from us.  That's what Advent is about.  It's about getting ready for Christ to be born in our hearts.  It's about putting on the yoke that we share with Christ.   If you look at the beautiful year of Mercy Logo.. think of that.. Jesus is carrying the man.  They share one eye, the share a human nature.  Jesus is doing the work, but the man is benefiting.  Jesus is carrying him where he needs to go. He is teaching him.  That doesn't mean that the man will never have to work... but that Jesus is with him all the way.. to help him, to show him how to do it right, to give him support and learning.

What does that mean for us?   The first reading says that God "is the eternal God, creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint nor grow weary, and his knowledge is beyond scrutiny."  Think of that for a moment.. the person you are yoked with.. the one teaching you how to live, how to grow, how to work, how to be more perfectly human... will never grow weary of helping you. He'll never give up.  He has all the answers.  How much lighter indeed is the yoke of Christ knowing that we have him as our support?  That we are never alone and he is always by our side. 

It reminds me of a poem that my grandmother had in her living room growing up. 


Footprints in the Sand

One night I had a dream.

I dreamed I was walking along the beach
with the Lord..

Across the sky flashed scenes from my life..
For each scene, I noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand,
one belonging to me, and the other to the Lord..

When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.

This really bothered me
and I questioned the Lord about it:
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why
when I need you most you would leave me."

The Lord replied:
"My precious child, I love you and would
never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints, it was then
that I carried you."

by Mary Stevenson

His servant and yours,

Brian

Why I Have an Intense Distaste for Halloween

Original Photo WallPaper from VisualParadox.com

Halloween.  All Hallow's Eve.  The Night before a beautiful feast in the Catholic Church.  As I sit here reading the readings for All Saint's Day I am struck by how much I just do not enjoy this day at all.  I could go on and on about all the problems with Halloween.  From the commercialism, to the consumerism, to the gluttony; to the problems with how it has been taken over by the secular world to become a 'gore' and 'blood' fest where the major event is to be scary and gross.  There are so many reasons to dislike Halloween.  Yet none of those are the reason.  I have even been known to enjoy putting on a scary mask and scaring people, or to watch a horror movie (though I find a good horror movie is hard to find without some sort of pornographic content or simply a gore fest these days.)

No the reason I dislike Halloween so much is today is the day my father was electrocuted.   My father died.  Through some intense CPR they managed to get his heart beating.  He survived.  For a time longer than most can recover without brain damage, my father was clinically dead.  I was very, very young at the time.  I do remember Dad didn't want to go to work that night.  He had an off feeling.  Like the man that I have always known, though, his work ethic would not allow him to stay home.  Not over a mere feeling.  So he went into work.  A transformer had mal-functioned causing main line voltage to cross into the low voltage disconnect on a mineshaft fan.  So when my father went to work on it, not a simple 120, or 240, or even 480 went through his hand.  No, several thousands of volts went into his hand.  Then they went out his arm.  Then out the back of his neck, into the roof of the mine shaft.

My father by all means should be dead.  Praise God he is not.  We kids didn't understand what was going on to be sure.  My brother and I were shielded from the brunt of the horror.  All we knew was that dad wasn't around for a while.  I remember brief glimpses of the hospital.  Then I remember times when we went to Rita's house instead of moms.   I am sure so she could visit him.  Eventually dad came home.  I can remember glimpses of playing chess with him.  Of helping change his bandages.  Of smelling the flesh and stuff.  I am sure most of that is in my head.  What I remember the most though was the intense joy of having my father home. 

Today in the gospel Jesus says in his great beatitudes, "Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted."  I understand that on it's literal level.  When we mourn, it seems like life has ended.  Our hearts feel as if they will never be healed.  Things come back though.  Laughter.   A smile.  A father.  They restore us to the joy we sometimes think we'll never see again.  Our darkness eventually gives way to light.  I think though, as with all of Jesus' words we must go deeper. In fact, Pope emeritus Benedict the XVI used too very solid examples of mourning to express a simple truth about this.  There were two people who mourned in the New Testament writings, but both of them responded in completely different ways.

Judas Iscariot, the traitor, mourned.  When he saw that Jesus had been turned over to be crucified he repented of what he had done.  He ran back to the temple and threw the silver at the feet of the chief priests and elders, crying out that he had betrayed innocent blood.  They did not care.  Judas gave up hope.  His response was to end his life.   How many over the centuries have done just this?   We've seen it more and more often with our children, our veterans, our loved ones.   They lose hope.  They give up.  They take their own life.  It hurts all of us.  We mourn for them. 

Peter on the other hand, too betrayed Jesus.  For all his bravado when push came to shove, Peter denied him three times.   He ran form the courtyard mourning, crying, broken.... Peter too repented of his deed.  Peter though, allowed God's hope to permeate him.  He allowed grace to draw him through his mourning.  Until one day, still in sorrow, he heard the voice of the Shepherd calling from the shore.  Peter dove out of the boat and swam with all his might to the shore, to be told three times (once for each denial) Feed my sheep.

You see mourning can destroy us.  It can take us down a road where there is no hope.  We can allow it to eat at us bringing a turning of our back to God, to the world, even to ourselves.  As Benedict said, there is a mourning that "no longer dares to hope."  Then there is the other response we can have to mourning.  A mourning that "bursts into healing tears" through which ourselves can be renewed. We can allow those events to ruin our lives all together.  We can forget to allow God's mercy to flow through us.  Sometimes we even do that with his forgiveness.  We let the devil convince us that he won't forgive us, that we have done something too bad.. or too often... or too willingly.  We avoid confession and avoid running back to God.  We hear him calling from the shore.. waiting to forgive us and challenge us to love Him and His body.  Are you going to jump out of the boat?  Or are you going to huddle and wallow, no longer daring to hope? 

In Christ,
His servant and yours,
Brian

Personal Relationship?

There are three camps in Christianity right now that seem to be the most prevalent, and two of them I find to be fatally flawed and separate from the Gospel according to Jesus Christ. Both have their merits, but both are lacking something to be complete.

The first is the camp that our relationship with Jesus is a personal relationship. You often see people say don't judge me, I only answer to God! In a way that's correct, just as David said, I sinned against you and you alone, our concern should be first and foremost with God. That's what Jesus said the most important commandment was right? So in a way our relationship with God is personal, it's primary.. but it's not just. Just said that was the first and greatest commandment, but then he went on to say there was a second, like it. (Another translation says "A second, equally as important" (see Mark 12:28-33). That makes a big difference doesn't it?

Then the second camp, one less common but one the Pharisees themselves seem to have been guilty of, is that it's a community relationship and only a community relationship. These are the people who put the commandments before the people. Their relationship is ONLY religion, only about the community. The Pharisees were very guilty of this, and if you watch the recent 'Bible' television series, you see some of that attitude. The "I need to protect my religion, my people" at all costs mentality.  The man who follows his religion to a T but neglects the needs of his fellow brothers and sisters, this man puts community before person, there is no personal relationship, even among the community.. only the community structure. The white washed tomb that Jesus called them greatly expresses this ideal. They appear clean on the outside, because they do everything right, but on the inside.. it's still dirty, still hate filled. We all seem to fall into that trap from time to time.. but notice that Jesus didn't say for people to ignore the tradition? No.. Then said Jesus to the crowds and to his disciples,  “The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat;  so practice and observe whatever they tell you, but not what they do; for they preach, but do not practice.  They bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with their finger. (Matthew 23:1-4)

So then what are we to do? We see here clearly that Tradition is not bad.. no the Tradition of the Pharisees was beautiful and had many beautiful teachings in it.. but they weren't practicing what they preach. We also see that God is important, the first and foremost.. but so are our brothers and sisters.. So neither of these approaches work. Why? Because they try to separate the body from the head. You see with the first, you take you and try only have communion with the head, Jesus.  With the second, you only have communion with the body as a whole, and not the head at all. Both ignore the other parts of the body and Sacred Scripture clearly tells us that we cannot separate the parts of the body. The eye cannot tell the hand I have no need of you (1 Corinthians 12:21), etc.

So we need all of it. We need the head, the body, and the parts! In order to be in communion with God who is a trinity.. we must also worship in a trinity (you'll find this pattern all through scripture!) We have to be in communion with God, with the body, AND with each other! So that is the simple answer. Tradition is beautiful, but so is love. God is important, but so is your brother and sister. You love God BY loving each other. It's really that simple.

That was one of the first things that drew me to Catholicism, and it's the thing that keeps reminding me that this is home for me. That there is a huge emphasis on God, worshiping him and him alone.  Yet, there is an emphasis on still talking among the body (both here and those already gone to Heaven), in the communion of saints. And yet there is still the personal relationship, how much more personal can it be than to go forward every Sunday and touch Jesus in such a unique way in the Eucharist? It's all there.

And remember, the only person scripture records as saying "Am I my brothers keeper?" was the one who had just killed his brother.

Peace be with you,
Brian

Ever Wash Your Sandals?

Every summer, my sandals begin to start looking pretty filthy. That's when I get out the trusty scrub brush, dish soap and a water hose. As I was sitting outside scrubbing the inside of my shoe, I began to have several thoughts go through my head. First I began to think about how disposable our society has become. So much so that often times when shoes get this grimy, they throw them away. My children usually have worn them out by that time anyway. They seem to think that we are supposed to buy new ones when they are dirty, the same with socks!

Then my mind began to drift on how that God cleans our souls, just like I'm cleaning these sandals. I do it carefully so I don't damage them. I do it thoroughly so that I don't have to come back and wash them again, I make sure they are clean! Another thing I notice... even though they are dirty, they are scuffed, dinged up... they are pretty good sandals. All too often we Christians see ourselves as bad things, and yes our flesh can do some bad things... but we are also made in the image of God! We are pretty good things! We just have to get the dirt out and keep it out, and God can do that for us, and he has poured his grace out immeasurably through the sacraments of His Church.

Then my mind stumbles upon a very profound truth. We live in a very clean society as far as things go. We have running water, showers, and deodorant. We have paved streets, concrete sidewalks, and homes with floors. Our feet don't get that dirty in the grand scheme of things.. but look at the inside of my sandals and you'll see that dirt builds up fast! Those little bits of dirt don't seem like much on their own, but over time they build up and up, until you find your shoes filthy and nearly unusable. That's how the church sees venial sin. All sin is bad! Too many see venial as not bad, it's still bad! It adds up! It's the pebble that starts the avalanche, it's that little bit of dirt that on it's own isn't much.. but when you keep doing it... it begins to be visible.. eventually leading to the sin that leads unto death. (Mortal).

So keep your sandals clean. Frequently make available to yourself those sacraments that pour out daily in our church. Go to Reconciliation. Go to daily Mass when you can. Go to Church every Sunday reverently for that mere hour(sometimes less sometimes more) that it takes. Spend time frequently in Adoration when you can, find a chapel near your job or your home and go there when you have a free moment. Make use of sacramentals! Pray often! Repent often! Examine your conscience daily, so that you can see how dirty your sandals are getting.. and clean them before it's too late!

His servant and yours;
Brian