Will you let me be your servant?

This morning I had the wonderful privilege of leading a communion service for our parish.  About 6:30 as the kids were getting ready for school, I was in the living room preparing for my role.   Between helping find hair brushes and signing papers for school I read vocally and re-read the readings for the day.   I prayed that God would provide me with a lector for the day (since our normal lector for Friday's was on a mission of mercy, and of course God provided.)   Around 6:45 I began to pick out the hymn we would sing (which is also normally done by the same gentleman and brother who is the lector on Fridays.)

So much to the joy of my children just before 7:00 they were serenaded (notice how that word reminds you of a grenade?) with my wondrous rendition of "will you let me be your servant."    Now I'm one of those guys  that gets music lyrics completely wrong. From Like a Cheestick (like a g6) to Rock the Catbox (casbah), I've gotten them wrong for years.   So I wasn't surprised at all this morning when I sang the wrong lyrics to this song, to which my eldest of course corrected me.


"Will you let me be your servant, let me be as Christ to you, pray that I may have the strength to..."

From behind a closed door in the back of the house a disembodied voice bellowed "It's grace!"  "What?"  "I said it's grace!"   "What!?"  The door opens and she says "I said it's grace, not strength.. the lyrics are 'pray that I may have the grace'.  The door closes.

Isn't it funny how sometimes God corrects us through others?  How that something so simple as her just being herself was a moment of 'ah ha' to me?   There is such a huge difference in me having the strength, and me asking for the grace to let you be my servant too.  It reminded me immediately of the scene where Jesus says he's going to wash Peters feet and impetuous Peter declares Lord no!  You will never wash MY feet. Jesus then tells him If I do not wash your feet, you will have no part of me.   Then here I was this morning crying out with Peter, Lord then wash not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!

All too often we forget to humble ourselves enough to accept God's grace.  He offers to do something for us and we turn our back on it, lifting ourselves up and saying I don't need that!   Our pride gets in the way.  It's when we try to do things on our own strength that we find ourselves falling back into those same old sins.  You know when you say "I've got this beat, I haven't done XXXXX in weeks, I have finally mastered myself."  that we fall.   When we rather turn to God and say "I'm not strong enough to do this on my own.   I need you.  Please heavenly Father, send me strength, send me grace, send me help;"  that is when we find ourselves able to resist and live a Christ like life.

We often hear that saying that God will not give us more than we can handle.  I'm not sure I agree with that.  Sometimes I think God allows us just a bit more so that we can break, so that we can say "God I'm not strong enough for this.. help me carry my Cross.."  So today I ask, and pray;  will you let me be your servant?

Where am I now?

During the process of my conversion, I was uninterested in the Catholic faith. Coming from the particular protestant background that I was raised in, the Catholic faith was not only foreign, but looked down upon if not looked at with outright contempt. My wife and I had married with the understanding that we were of different faiths, but after a while I began to seek to convert her to my own protestant stance. I was convinced that the Catholic faith was wrong and I set out to prove that to her.  As time went by I would approach her with more and more questions, I guess more accurately described as confrontations. “Why do you believe this?” “Why do you Catholics do that!?” To which she would always reply, “find out.”  She refused to argue with me, which of course infuriated me!

At this point I was really fooling myself, because my heart was not really into finding answers. I would do some reading of course online, mostly from protestant and Anti-Catholic websites to try and find answers.  Then a major event happened in our lives: the baptism of our biological daughter, Moira.  As the time drew closer, my wife informed me that we were baptizing our daughter Catholic. We really didn't discuss it further other than when, where, which priest would baptize her, etc.  As a protestant I didn't really care what religion she was baptized into, as long as she was baptized.

As the day finally arrived I stood with every person in the congregation of the church at St. Mary's in Sycamore Illinois.  The priest walked us through the process, renewing our baptismal promises and then asked us if we would raise our daughter according to the Catholic faith. I responded in the affirmative and as I did, it dawned on me that in order to teach her what the Catholics believed I would have to know myself!   I could no longer simply dance around the issue, I had to actually delve into this so that I could teach her as I had just given my word before God and man that I would do so.

I began to search earnestly for answers, not just reading the protestant side of things but going to Catholic sites, speaking to Catholic apologists online, and even spending a great deal of time talking to the priest at our home Parish in Genoa.  I had many questions and someone eventually suggested that I join the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults program at our parish.  I was ensured there would be no commitment required and I could go there and find answers to all of these questions that I had.  I signed up and began to attend, but I must admit that this first trip through RCIA was one filled with a bad attitude and hostility.   I wanted answers, but not for the right reason. I came to class to argue, or to find ways to prove to my wife and eventually my daughter that the Catholic faith was wrong.

The sweet lady who taught the class would look at me sometimes and simply say, “It's part of the mystery.” Then she'd move on to another topic or further into the topic we were discussing.  This made me so angry at the time. I had been taught my entire life that there is no mystery! Every answer you want or need was supposed to be right there in the Bible.  I eventually quit going to RCIA and simply studied on my own, convinced that the teacher simply didn't know enough about scripture to be able to answer me.  I was so convinced that I had already known God and his Word that I knew there was no mystery to him.

As time went on I found answers to many of my questions. An astonishing thing happened along the way, I began to find that every single time I found the answer I was looking for, I found a new question. Another astonishing thing happened as well, I began to find answers that weren't in scripture, but were in writings from the early church fathers, documents from the Church itself, even in just talking to other members of the Catholic faith. My beliefs about God were not really changing, but my understanding of God was growing in a way that began to show me that not only did my beliefs fit in with the Catholic faith, but that the faith was so deep that it really was a mystery, because God himself was beyond our understanding. The word that had so exasperated me in the beginning, became a word that I embraced and clung to as I again enrolled in the RCIA program.  This time not to argue or look for ways to convince others of how wrong the Catholic faith was, but to help me understand just how right it was.  Not just for them, not just for my daughter, but for me.

The amazing thing that I am finding is that despite all of this journey that I have been on for many years, from the days when I sat beside my grandfather in the pews of a Baptist church, to the day when I went forward and confessed my love for God at an altar call, through the days of my baptism, prayer services, and eventually my confirmation in the Catholic faith; I never noticed the pattern of repeating that was going on in my life. Even when I began to read this wonderful document about the six stages of development my mind wanted to compartmentalize it into single stages, as if we could graduate from one into another.

Throughout life we have been taught that each event is a stage to move to another, and that eventually we will get where we are going. Working a job leads to a promotion, after which you no longer have to do the things before.  My approach to this document was very similar in that in attempting to analyze where I am in those stages, I quickly began to quantify if I had moved through one stage to the next.  I checked off my list through imagination, quickly moving past literal, to group faith, into personal, and hoping that I might actually be able to write myself down as someone who had gotten to the mystical stage.

As we discussed this in our small groups, many of the others did the same with their analysis of themselves.  We each found ourselves hovering between stage 4, Personal Faith, and stage 5, Mystical faith. In fact, I felt a little ashamed as if I was failing because I could see that I didn't stay in the Mystical area.  I saw parts of my life where I felt I had achieved that for a time, where I had acted in those ways, even from time to time I could honestly say I had achieved the Sacrificial faith that I so desire to have at all times.  Yet, when I was honest with myself; I wasn't there all the time. I felt as if I was failing God and even was concerned about coming to class, that maybe I was the only one who wasn't able to stay in 'the zone'.

Then we began to discuss it at length and the light began to dawn on each of us, more especially when our teacher began to talk about the cyclical nature of faith, that we were walking along that normal path. My eyes began to open to a new understanding of the imaginative faith. Where as before I saw it as something that only children do, even having clever anecdotes prepared in my head of how my nephew talked about God's mom, aka Mrs. God,  or how that my daughter had once thought that God put on a costume so he could look like a ghost; to where I now see that we each have to reach the stage of imagination in order to move forward and learn. That once we grasp on to a concept, some part of the mystery, we must begin to delve it in our mind before we can begin to ask questions. We must imagine what God is like, because he is beyond us. That once we reach a point where we have begun to even glimpse the mystical aspect of the truth that is being revealed to us, another question appears.  We then begin to use our imagination again to try to fathom this new truth, and the cycle begins anew.

How relieving it was to find that simple eye opening truth, that all of this time that I had been seeking answers and only finding more questions, that I had been truly following the nature of revelation and faith. God was calling, and I was responding. I wasn't failing, but I was growing in faith. I still hope that some day, I can be in the stage of sacrificial faith at all times; until then I will be content in knowing that I can glimpse those moments without trepidation but simply realizing that when I do have a moment of pure sacrificial giving, a moment in which I am no longer concerned with my self at all but only with 'other', that in that moment, I will have opened another stage of the mystery.  That in opening another stage of the mystery I will have drawn that much closer to God.

Personal Relationship?

There are three camps in Christianity right now that seem to be the most prevalent, and two of them I find to be fatally flawed and separate from the Gospel according to Jesus Christ. Both have their merits, but both are lacking something to be complete.

The first is the camp that our relationship with Jesus is a personal relationship. You often see people say don't judge me, I only answer to God! In a way that's correct, just as David said, I sinned against you and you alone, our concern should be first and foremost with God. That's what Jesus said the most important commandment was right? So in a way our relationship with God is personal, it's primary.. but it's not just. Just said that was the first and greatest commandment, but then he went on to say there was a second, like it. (Another translation says "A second, equally as important" (see Mark 12:28-33). That makes a big difference doesn't it?

Then the second camp, one less common but one the Pharisees themselves seem to have been guilty of, is that it's a community relationship and only a community relationship. These are the people who put the commandments before the people. Their relationship is ONLY religion, only about the community. The Pharisees were very guilty of this, and if you watch the recent 'Bible' television series, you see some of that attitude. The "I need to protect my religion, my people" at all costs mentality.  The man who follows his religion to a T but neglects the needs of his fellow brothers and sisters, this man puts community before person, there is no personal relationship, even among the community.. only the community structure. The white washed tomb that Jesus called them greatly expresses this ideal. They appear clean on the outside, because they do everything right, but on the inside.. it's still dirty, still hate filled. We all seem to fall into that trap from time to time.. but notice that Jesus didn't say for people to ignore the tradition? No.. Then said Jesus to the crowds and to his disciples,  “The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat;  so practice and observe whatever they tell you, but not what they do; for they preach, but do not practice.  They bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with their finger. (Matthew 23:1-4)

So then what are we to do? We see here clearly that Tradition is not bad.. no the Tradition of the Pharisees was beautiful and had many beautiful teachings in it.. but they weren't practicing what they preach. We also see that God is important, the first and foremost.. but so are our brothers and sisters.. So neither of these approaches work. Why? Because they try to separate the body from the head. You see with the first, you take you and try only have communion with the head, Jesus.  With the second, you only have communion with the body as a whole, and not the head at all. Both ignore the other parts of the body and Sacred Scripture clearly tells us that we cannot separate the parts of the body. The eye cannot tell the hand I have no need of you (1 Corinthians 12:21), etc.

So we need all of it. We need the head, the body, and the parts! In order to be in communion with God who is a trinity.. we must also worship in a trinity (you'll find this pattern all through scripture!) We have to be in communion with God, with the body, AND with each other! So that is the simple answer. Tradition is beautiful, but so is love. God is important, but so is your brother and sister. You love God BY loving each other. It's really that simple.

That was one of the first things that drew me to Catholicism, and it's the thing that keeps reminding me that this is home for me. That there is a huge emphasis on God, worshiping him and him alone.  Yet, there is an emphasis on still talking among the body (both here and those already gone to Heaven), in the communion of saints. And yet there is still the personal relationship, how much more personal can it be than to go forward every Sunday and touch Jesus in such a unique way in the Eucharist? It's all there.

And remember, the only person scripture records as saying "Am I my brothers keeper?" was the one who had just killed his brother.

Peace be with you,
Brian

The Least of These

President Obama famously declared in a speech a while back that whatever we are, we are no longer a Christian nation.  I would like to believe that isn't true.  The numbers say that we are mostly Christians in our population. The increase in secular thought, belief, and liberalism would say differently. Even our conservatism is much more liberal than it was in years past. That's not the point I want to talk about.

Included the presidents exact words, so that others

could see exactly what he said in context. 

Lately I've been seeing a lot of posts decrying our government from spending money elsewhere, when it is needed at home. How dare we send relief to some other country when our country has some problems of its own? Why spend money educating children in Africa when we could be increasing our own public schools.  Why subsidize third world countries when we are hurting here and need jobs? These are all powerful questions, questions that can't be answered lightly or in few words.

But there is a key here... if we ARE a Chrisitian nation.. then we truly believe that all people deserve help. "Whatever you do for the least of these you do for me."  If we are a Christian nation then our neighbor is not just the homeless man here, but the homeless man in South Africa as well. If we are a Christian nation, then the child who needs school supplies in  China is just as important as the one who needs school supplies here in our home town. If we are a Christian nation, then every man needs our help.. not one or the other.

Am I saying that we should help those abroad before we help those at home? No. What then am I saying, that we should help those who are here before we help those abroad? No. I am saying IF we are a Christian nation, we should help both!  

If President Obama is right, that we are no longer a Christian nation then none of this matters. We should only be concerned with our own national issues, and not worry about the world.. but if he is wrong... if we are still a Christian nation... then we should be concerned with all of humanity, and yes all of creation as well. We don't have room in a Christian mindset to say I will ignore the plight of someone I cannot see, and only concentrate on those I know personally... we cannot say stop taking care of those in need because we have needs here... instead we must realize that we all have a little to give, and a lot of places to give it.

Seeds? Words? Gardens?

Bear with me as I try to convey to you something that I do not know if I can put into words. Today as I was reading Sacred Scripture, a line of thought began to form in my mind. It begins with the concept of the logos, the Christ, the messiah. Jesus is the Word of God. That is something that almost all Christians agree on. It's also key in understanding the power of the tongue. First I want to talk about what the logos means to us, and what that means about Jesus.

We as Christians believe that when God spoke before time ever began, that the Word he spoke was Jesus himself. That the word that came out of his mouth, the word through which all things were created, was Christ. First off we see that when God speaks, he speaks a Word, and that Word is the messiah. It shows us how powerful that word is. All of creation, the universe, people, soul, spirit... all were created by a Word.

Next we see the concept that the Word is a seed. Jesus talked many times about the Word of God being a seed which is planted in the heart, in the garden of the World, which grows or not according to the condition of the soil. Here we see that the Word spoken by God has the power to multiply and grow, to create and uplift. The power of life and death, the power of all of God's creation is in a Word. The Word IS a seed.

Then I began to ponder the fact that we are made in the image of God. Being made in the image of God means that we should be aware that we also have power, spiritual power given to us by God's Holy Spirit. That means that when we speak, we also speak words. Now that seems very obvious on the surface. But let's look at what we said above, not only do the words we speak have power.. but they are seeds. When we speak we sow spiritual seeds in the garden of life. We have the power to plant spiritual food, or to grow weeds.

What does that mean for us? When we edify and uplift, when we build up and encourage... we are planting spiritual food, we are giving spiritual fruit... we are planting seeds of God's Kingdom. We are sharing the Word, through our word. We are spreading the Kingdom of God one seed at a time. At the same time, when we speak words that tear down or demean, words that harm and destroy, we plant weeds that choke and destroy the fruit we have planted. You see Jesus told us that the soil is very important to the growth of the seed. Did you know that God put man in charge of tilling and caring for the soil? Adam was given the job of protecting the garden of Eden, and we as descendents of Adam also have a duty to protect, till, and prepare the garden of our Spiritual world.. the Kingdom of God.

Are you building up God's kingdom? Are you spreading it one word at a time? Or are you planting weeds in your relationships? In your marriage? Is your home a garden of lovely flowers, tantalizing fruits, and gorgeous flowing rivers of kindness? Or is it filled with briars, burning sands, and empty river beds in decay?

His servant and yours;



Brian

The Stranger

There was a child who lived with his grandfather by the side of a busy road. One evening the grandfather and this child were outside listening to the meadowlark singing her clear, sweet song as she perched on the fence post. Suddenly they heard a commotion up the road. A crazy beggar man, with a tilt to his head and a glaze in his eye, was lurching up the lane. All the children of the town were chasing him, throwing sticks and stones. Even the dogs were nipping at his heels. As the beggar man passed the house, the grandfather could see his humiliation beneath a sheen of desperation on the man's face. The child, however, saw a chance to have some fun and joined his friends. Too old to move very fast, the grandfather could only call out to his grandson to come back. Above all the commotion, the meadowlark’s song could be heard sweet and clear. The child broke from the group and ran back to his grandfather. Together they looked at the beggar man lurching and stumbling down the road chased by children and dogs.

The grandfather, eyes glistening with tears, knelt down and wrapped his arms around the child. The child dropped the rock in his hand and touched the tear that rolled down his grandfather's cheek.

"Grandpa", he said, "what's wrong?"

"Ah, laddie," said grandfather, "would you be knowin' who that crazy beggar man was?"

"No, Grandpa," said the child.

"Well I'm not sure as I know either, lad. But did you hear the lark? The lark was singing on the fence post, she was. And do you know what she was singing? There's words to her song lad, and never forget them, for she was singin:

"Often, often, often, walks the Christ in the stranger's clothes.

Often walks the Christ in the stranger's clothes."

Two tears struck the ground, one shed from the face of the grandfather, the other from the eyes of the boy, as together they watched the King of Glory stumble down the road. Often walks the Christ in the stranger's clothes.

From the book, "The Shadow of the Cross: A Journey Through the Virtues of Celtic Spirituality."

Joy vs Happiness

...do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.

Nehemiah 8:10

When we were in high school we studied the law of cause and effect. This law helps us understand that when something happens, there is a result. When you push a ball it begins to roll, the cause is that you have pushed it, the effect is it begins to move. By knowing this simple law of nature, we can also understand happiness. Happiness is an effect. When we see our children laughing, we too laugh. We are happy because they are happy. When we are on vacation and in the hot tub as the sun is setting, we are happy because we are comfortable and enjoying ourselves. If we are in a favorable circumstance, we are happy. If we are in an unfavorable one, we are not happy.

Happiness is much different from the joy of the Lord. One easily says they are happy when God has blessed them with abundance. When we are healthy and well, and our families are fed; we are indeed happy. Joy though is when we are in an unfavorable circumstance, and yet we still trust in God. We still have joy in our soul even at though things are not going our way. Christian joy is when we trust in God no matter our circumstances! The Lord's strength and promises allow us to be happy even when we are hurting.

You can see Christian joy and dignity in the face of the dying believer. As they lay there in their hospital bed, with a smile on their face. Their life is coming to an end as we know it, yet they are filled with joy! How can this be? They trust in the promises of God! They know this is just the beginning of their journey and despite the pain, the decline, the fading world around them.. they are still happy.

Happiness can be fleeting. It can be fickle. It can fade in an instant. Joy.. joy can be permanent. We learn to be joyful when we study the Word, we we live our faith. When we turn our baptismal promises into an action, not a birth right. What are some ways that you can share your joy with others? How have you seen joy present in the lives of other believers? How can you grow in Christian joy? 

Just a little bad?

Dying flies spoil the sweetness of the ointment. Wisdom and glory is more precious than a small and shortlived folly. - Ecclesiastes 10:1

We as Christians often encourage our children to do the right thing. That's part of our vocation as parents. We are supposed to be teaching them right from wrong, and how to make the right choice. Yet, today's society seems to be teaching anything in moderation is OK. Is that really true?

When we teach our children about stealing, we tell them it's wrong. Should we tell them, but hey if you're going to steal.. make sure to do it with a mask on, and only steal things worth less than a certain amount so it's not a felony? Of course not that's absurd. We believe stealing is wrong, so we tell them not to steal at all.

When we teach our children about drugs, we tell them it's wrong. Should we then tell them, but if you're going to do drugs, make sure to use a clean syringe, or stick to safe things like Marijuana? Of course not. We tell them drugs are bad, and they should avoid them always.

When we teach our children about sex outside of marriage.. why then do we tell them, if you're going to do it, use a condom? We should be teaching them to not do it at all!  Why is it clear to us that telling them that when they do it, to take precautions not to do it too much? Isn't that in fact telling them that we expect them to do it anyway?

If we truly believe it's wrong to have sex outside of marriage, then we should be teaching abstinence, not 'birth control.'

Eat meat? Drink wine? What did he mean in Romans 14

Romans 14 is one of the most amazing chapters, to me. It tells us something about today in a way that still holds true. In order to get to that point I want to give you some insight into my own spiritual journey.

For many years I was a member of a church where obedience to the word of God took a literal, fundamental stand. We had to be 'sinless' and if we were caught sinning, well weren't really saved in the first place. So for years I punished myself for every mistake I made, thinking if I were truly saved, truly a child of the King I would be able to withstand sin on my own. I'd be able to make changes in my life that were lasting, and would never be tempted again.

Then I had this startling realization. I realized that I wasn't under the law! God showed me that I didn't have to follow the law, that everything is permissible. That I could do whatever I wanted, as long as I had faith in God. So for about four years, I did just that. I drank, and I smoked, I partied, and I cussed. I watched bad television, listened to even worse music. All because I knew that I was no longer under the law.

Then God opened my eyes to something else. Something I had been missing all along. We hear it in church all the time. Faith without works is dead. Yet works do not get me anywhere? So why would I do them, I'm already saved? What is the point of works? Love. We do works not because the law tells us to, but because we Love God, and we love our neighbor. We go out and we help others, not because it increases our standing with God, but because, it's simply the right thing to do.

As Christians we should be consumed with that thought. A few years ago we had the movement of bands on your arm that said WWJD. What would Jesus do? It was a beautiful movement because it reminded us as Christians we are not under the law, but we follow the law because Jesus would!

Then one day I thought to myself, I've finally found it. I'm right! My beliefs are right, they were wrong before! Then God said to me, if someone thinks they need to eat meat... they should eat meat. I wasn't right after all but I was where God wanted me to be. I was growing in faith. As is everyone else. You see I grew up being taught that the Catholic church was an abomination. That people there followed Mary as God, and worshiped Saints!

God brought a catholic into my life. She was a beautiful woman, with three beautiful children. She had this faith that kept her from needing to ask the questions I was always asking. She asked saints to pray for her, much like she would ask me to pray for her. It was a beautiful thing that taught me a lesson about judging someones faith.

It's all about faith, you know? God gave Abraham righteousness, not because he was circumcised, not because he attended church, not because he did this or that.. You see Abraham was the first and God was teaching him as he went. He started out with just faith, and God counted that as righteousness! The same with you and I! It is still about faith, faith in Christ! However, if saying a rosary brings you closer to God then by all means say the rosary! If staying at home and having your own communion brings you closer to God, then by all means do it!

You see God doesn't want you to come to him being forced into a mold, he'll mold you himself. He knows where your faith is and what you can handle. He knows where mine is as well. He even wants me to do things that encourage your faith, that help build you up. Arguing about whether or not we should interpret the Bible the same or receive the same revelations doesn't edify, it tears down. Do not force someone to give up their meat, or give up their wine, or not to marry.. because that's not the what we are taught! Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him.

We could easily rewrite that, Let not him that prays the rosary, pray him that does not; and let not him which does not pray the rosary, judge him that does.. because God has received him.

God chooses who goes to heaven, not us. If someone loves Jesus, gives his life to him, believes that through him he will be saved. We are supposed to be one body, one family in Christ. Let's stop arguing over the things that divide us and remember the one Truth that cements us as a family.

So when was I right? At what point did I find authentic faith? You see I was right the entire time. It was a spiritual journey, meant for me. My faith the entire time was placed directly in God. Keep your faith there, and he will lead you on your own journey. He will show you what is right to believe, and what YOU are supposed to believe and when. We grow in Christ, not into.

In Christ,
Brian

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Soapy Water

I don't know how many of you spend time doing dishes, but it's a chore I don't relish. I am bad to let my dishes sit a day or so, and then get tired of seeing them and do them. I just don't enjoy it, and would not do them at all if I didn't have to.

You see I spent a great deal of my time in college washing dishes to help pay for tuition and keep a roof over my and my spouse at the times head. It was a difficult time, but all I seem to remember from those days was dishes. Lots and lots of soapy water.

A few years ago God revealed to me that he was just like a dish washer. At the time I wrote a poem about it and shared it. I'll share it again after this post. You see if you have ever washed a dish a few days old, it's difficult to get the food out of it. It's crusty and hard, and you have to use a lot of soap and elbow grease to get rid of it.

Well we are just like a pot or pan in our life. We get crusty. We sin against God and it's there inside of us to be washed out. God wants us to come to Him! He wants us to be clean on the inside and out! He gives us a good scrubbing and tells us, go forth and sin no more. He puts elbow grease into us, to free us from our binding! Yet we go out and sometimes in the same moment, put more food on the inside of us.

Just like food, when we sin it comes inside of us and we need God to remove it. Just like food, if we continue to sin without God cleaning us, it sets up inside and begins to crust over. The longer we continue to sin, the harder it is for us to give it up. The more habit it becomes. The harder it has to be scrubbed.

The Holy Spirit is a lot like dish soap, God uses him to clean us. The Spirit soaks into the sin inside of us and loosens it's hold on us. It begins to be easier to scrub, and easier to get rid of. Our lives start to look more and more clean, and we continue to grow in Jesus. So if you have food in your pot, give it over to God to clean right now! Before it sits in and begins to cling, begins to harden and has to be scrubbed even harder. Sometimes the scrubbing hurts more than we can imagine. Sometimes God uses that sin to show us our error, and the cleaning process isn't pleasant. It's easier though, if you get to it right away, don't put it off until it's a part of your life. Don't put it off till your heart starts to harden, and refuses to let anyone clean it.


The greatest dishwasher of all

the dishwasher clogged up earlier.
I had to clean the trap out by hand
Slowly pulling pieces of lettuce, carrot, unidentifiable meats
All from water that I could not see through
A veil that kept my eyes from seeing what was going on
It reminded me of our daily lives
How they are so full of junk
Things that rot and fill our days
How we have so many things in this little trap in our mind
That we just don't let go of
A piece of a relationship here
A heartbreak there
Two strands of long forgotten lust

Then I realized that Jesus was just like that filter
in the bottom of my dishwasher
He filters out the filth, and holds it at bay
Sometimes it backs up and we just need to let it all go
So that he can keep washing us clean

From Authentic Perplexity, Copyright 2010

Bro's before ?

I was meditating earlier, and I happened upon a memory that was very disturbing. I remember I had just divorced and the relationship I had just been in, was one that was unfaithful. I

won't go into details, but it really sheds some light on the things that were going on. I was dating this beautiful girl from Illinois, and my room-mate/work partner was engaged to this beautiful young woman. She was 19 or so, and completely sweet.

After rooming with him for about a month, he met some girl in the town we were working in and went out on a boat with her and needless to say, one thing led to another and he cheated on his fiancé. This wasn't the bad part. The part was my part that was horrible.

You see, the third time he went out with this woman I was sitting in the room on my laptop, and I got a phone call from this young woman who was left home with their child. You see, not only was he engaged, he was a father. She wanted to know what was going on? Why wasn't he returning phone calls? She confided in me that he had been unfaithful to her before, but had promised to never do it again.

Then she asked me, “Is he cheating on me?”

I lied. I told her he was just out and would be back soon. You see I chose keeping the guy I worked with and knew happy, against the truth. I didn't tell her that he was out for the third time with some girl he barely knew. I had just been in a relationship where my ex had been unfaithful, and it had been a huge blow to me. Yet here I was, able to tell someone the truth, and I don't.

I am quite ashamed of that time. I really don't have words to describe how I feel about it. Yet, I realize this verse really shows how bad a person I am.

Mathew 7:3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

You see I sat there judging this fellow for his actions, thinking of how bad a person he was for treating his fiancé in such a way. I was so hung up on his sin, that I didn't even look at mine. The sin of lying. The sin of approving of that lifestyle. The sin of not telling him to his face that what he was doing was wrong. That what he was doing was against God's plan. Who was worse? He for cheating on her? Or I for lying to her to make her think he wasn't.

The next time you are in a situation where you have the opportunity to show love, to tell the truth, do it. Make your yes, yes and your no, no. Do everything for the Lord... everything.

Knowledge vs revelation

There is nothing wrong with knowledge. God encourages us as Christians to study and show ourselves approved. He tells us to search the scriptures, because it is they that testify to Christ. Yet I find that many times knowledge becomes our God. We begin to feel so comfortable with the amount of the Bible we know, and how much of that has been revealed to us, that when we see something revealed somewhere else we instantly question it. Instead of approaching it as we should, with prayer and guidance from the Holy Spirit.



I am by no means an expert on the Bible. I am not one of those men who can quote verse after verse off the top of my head. I am not sure that God will ever give me that ability either. My knowledge of the Bible comes more from comprehension, understanding what happened and why. I still spend time trying to read the Hebrew words and the Greek words, though both do not come easy for me. I do this because I know the Bible is full of wonderful insights that we each can glean from, when God shows them to us.



Recently I added a new friend to my facebook account. This fellow often posts things that I do not agree with, yet when I search myself spiritually I know that sometimes I do not agree with him not because he could be right, but because I haven't heard that before or thought that before. It is those times that we must ask God to humble our hearts, and reveal to us the truth. What if this fellow is spot on and being guided in every step by the Spirit of God? I still will post my questions, and I will still discuss with him why it seems wrong to me, but I must really approach it with a different feeling in my heart.



You see often we don't get spiritual enlightenment, not because we aren't saved, not because we do not believe in Jesus, but because we do not wait for God to show us. Instead of reading and then praying, immersing ourselves in the beauty of the Holy Spirit we instantly allow our carnal minds to compute and return the correct responses that we have been taught, or have thought in the past. Now mind you, sometimes these are revelations that God has given us! Other times it's something we heard another pastor say, or someone posted in a devotional, or even something we just stumbled across when reading a book about the Bible.



We must learn that having the knowledge is a good thing, but putting the knowledge before God is making the knowledge god itself! We must always check ourselves and make sure that we are truly walking in his light, and not in the light of mankind. We must approach everything, and I do mean everything, with God's will in mind! We have died to the flesh, and are created new spiritual men and women! It is time we allowed God his proper place in our life, and we allowed him to lead us, instead of trying to lead ourselves.



God has revealed many things to me in the past few weeks. He has revealed that we are all tempted by sin, but it's when we act on those thoughts that we actually sin. Jesus was tempted by Satan in the garden, yet he always put God's will first! He never sinned! For many years I beat myself up every time I would have an impure thought. Every time I would have a dream that was inappropriate. There is something to be said there, because God said that that which proceeds from our mouths, that makes us unclean because it comes from our heart. You see we are a fallen creature, who has evil in its heart. We have thoughts that can lead to sin, temptations that can produce evil in our life, but by following after the Spirit we can avoid those temptations, we can avoid saying those things that will harm others. When you are tempted with a thought that you know to be wrong, and God will let you know when it's wrong, avoid it. Stop thinking about that. Recite a psalm! The 23rd one is one that I go to often in meditation. Push those thoughts and desires out of your mind, and pray that God will aid you in it! God will deliver you from temptation, trust in him!

So tonight when you place yourself under the blankets in your bed and begin to drift towards sleep, give yourself over to the Father. Ask him to come into your heart and guide you in every aspect of your life. Remind him that you are his servant, and his your Lord. Ask him to open your mind, and your heart, and your spirit to receive those things which he can reveal to you! Trust me, he will reveal more and more!



In Christ,
Brian

Of whom much is given, much is expected!

[KJV] Luke 12:48
But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.

Many times in my life I have heard the above paraphrased into the simple statement, “To whom much is given, much is expected.” Upon meditating on this I realize that it is about many things, not simply that which is on the surface.

At first it would seem simply that if a man breaks the law, he shall be given a smaller punishment. It also seems to indicate that those who are unaware of the law when they perish, will be also dealt with gently. Yet those who are completely aware of the law and sacrifice of Christ, these men are expected to uphold more and be judged with a different standard. After all Jesus said, you will be judged with the measure you judge with. (Matt 7:2)

Let's think about that for a moment. If you are aware of the law and you judge others harshly, condemning them easily for their actions, then God also will judge you on the same scale. However, if you judge others with compassion and love, then God will do the same for you. It's important for us to notice that distinction! That God wants us to judge righteously, but fairly, lovingly and above all with compassion. We often try to judge others based on our own perceived piousness and not out of our heart, remembering that we too are sinners only saved by HIS grace. It's kind of like getting a present for Christmas, and then showing others how great a person you are because you got a present? God gave us salvation as a gift, and we get no glory from that. God gets the glory, it's his gift! We are still sinners, but sinners saved by Grace, living life without sin only by His divine guidance.

Then we have to look at another aspect of this statement, that to whom much is given much is expected. Each of us has different understandings, different gleanings, and yes different amounts of faith. To those who have great amounts of faith, much is expected! These men and women should be doing wondrous works! Not simply having faith and going to Church once in a while. So before I get carried away, lets look at the spiritual gifts from God.

Wisdom, Understanding, Counsel (Right Judgment), Fortitude, Knowledge, Reverence, and Wonder and Awe (Fear of the Lord).

To each person is given gifts of God. Some of us have understanding. These wonderfully blessed people understand the Word, they see the meaning behind it, they find hidden meanings. What good is a found treasure if they do not share it! What good is understanding the word if you only understand it for yourself? To he who is given understanding, much is expected! This gift is not just for us, it's for the Church! The Body of Christ! We also have to realize that there are different levels of understanding! Some understand perfectly and deeply, others have less understanding but they are still followers of Christ, and should use what they have.

Whether you receive understanding, Wisdom, counsel, knowledge, it is your duty as a part of the body of Christ to share that with the rest of us. Maybe you're blessed with reverence God! What a blessing that is! It is also a chance for you to share your reverence, to show others how to worship God, how to pray, how to approach the alter, how to maintain your relationship with God in the manner in which it should be done.

Another example, he who has fear of the Lord, this is a powerful gift! It is a person who understands that God is perfectly good, and in the same aspect understands just how evil and polluted we as mankind have become. This person knows exactly what grace means! He/she knows that we don't deserve grace, that instead we deserve hell! Yet God loved us so much that He gave His own son in our place! When they speak about it you hear it in their voice, and you know for them it is so powerful, so overwhelming that it's hard to speak about.

Remember, not matter what gift God has given you, spiritual or physical he expects you to use it for His Glory! These gifts are to be shared, given freely since they were received freely! We are to worship and love together, helping each other to grow, building each other up spiritually! Edifying one another in all ways, not tearing down.

I pray that all of you have a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. That God will bless and keep you in his arms.

In Christ,
Brian

What's with the Attitude?

The Bible talks many times about the attitude we should have when we approach God in supplication. From the list in Malachi chapter one to the 'Our Father', each of them shows the proper way to come to God in prayer. Although it is addressed so often, many still are praying in a manner that does not reflect their Christian nature. Our attitude towards God should reflect the fact that God is the most important thing in our life, and that we love our neighbor as ourselves. These two statements, directly from Jesus, show us all we really need to know to be Christian.

Mathew 22: 37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38T his is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Following these two commands, we find that all of the ten commandments fall into place. One cannot murder another and pretend to have loved them. One cannot be jealous of another's things and pretend to love them. One cannot lie to another, steal, or dishonor his father and mother; all the while pretending it is out of love for them. It, once again, is all about attitude towards God! When God truly comes first in your life you will take your commandments seriously. It is true that Christ died on the cross for us, and that he has washed us clean of sin. It is also true that faith in Christ is enough. Jesus however said, those who love me will keep my commands. (John 14:15) When we come to the cross and give our hearts to Jesus it should be completely! We should do it out of love, out of desperation, out of hope! It should not be a moment where we simply say, 'I believe in Christ' and then forget what he did the moment we go out of the building.

How does this apply to our lives? Our attitudes? You should be reflecting that love in every action, every day. Each time you interact with another person it should be out of love. Think carefully what this means. It means that our needs are not first. It means that we offer ourselves as servants to the world. What? As servants? Jesus, the king of the universe, came down and presented himself not as a king, but as a servant. Is he not our example? Should we not present ourselves as living images of him? When we come to the cross our old selves die. We are no longer a creature of this world, but spiritual beings, Children of God! We should act as such!

It also applies to our prayer life. When we come to God we should praise and worship him! How many times do we begin our prayers with 'Lord why me? What did I do?' Think of the 'Our Father'. This was the example that Jesus gave his disciples in how to pray.

Mathew 6:9 Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
10Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, asit isin heaven.

Jesus tells his disciples to start off their prayers with a praising of God. That God's will be done in earth, just as it is in heaven.

Hallow -To make holy; to set apart for holy or religious use; to
consecrate; to treat or keep as sacred; to reverence.

He instructs them to indicate that God's name is special and holy, to be treated with reverence. Many religious Jews will not even say God's name, even to the point of writing the English word as G-d. How much respect should we be showing knowing that God's name is hallowed? When was the last time we prayed and said God, your name alone is special and holy, how much more so are you? We should pray with God's will in mind. First and foremost! What is God's will? Romans 12:2 tells us “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.” God's will is good, pleasing and perfect. His will is that all of his Children will come to Him. His will is that we worship him, and love him, as he first loved us. His will is that we love one another. So when you pray, pray in God's will. We should pray for things that help others, out of love.

God wants us to have everything we need. He doesn't always give us everything we want. Sometimes that is because what we want, will either hurt us or hurt someone else. Yet we spend a great deal of time worrying and being anxious. Jesus told us that we should stop worrying, if God clothes the flowers in the field in more beauty than even a great King, how much more so would he provide us with clothes? If God provides food for the birds in the air, how much more so will he provide food for us? (Mathew 6:25-32) God knows what we need, and he will provide! The world will make it seem to you that you are suffering and that God is not listening, but He is! Not only is he listening he is answering! We need to be still and quiet and listen to God! (Psalm 46:10)

I will close for now with words directly from our savior, words more perfect than anything I could come up with on my own. Mathew 6:33-34 “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day [is] the evil thereof.”

In Christ,
Brian

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