Oh Happy Day?

This morning was absolutely horrible. Do you know the kind of day I'm talking about? Where everything seems like it's out to get you and even the furniture is on the attack? It all began with a nice alarm blaring in my ear... apparently for over 30 minutes. As I groggily hit the snooze button I happened to glance up and see that it was closer to 7 than it was to 6. Oh no, the kids aren't up! So I quickly rush down the hallway knocking on doors as I go, and move in to wake up Moira who still needs help getting ready. No one seems to be moving. Another round of knocking 3 minutes later as I look for breakfast, snacks, getting together my clothes, planning my shower etc.

Finally after 3 tries I hear movement in the rooms and Moira is stirring enough to start getting dressed. I run downstairs to find the clean clothes I had washed the night before, pull out my outfit and a shirt for Mo and back up the stairs I go. (by run I mean a fast hectic walk that reminds the stair well that if it moves up an inch, it can stub my toe with the best of them.) So here I am stumbling with a toe that's sure to be broken, trying not to drop the clothes, when a magical lego appears out of no where and embeds itself into my flesh. Score 2 for the inanimate invaders and nothing for the dad who is running late.

My head begins to overwhelm me as I remember all things I'm supposed to do today. I need to get Moira ready, I need to get her to the bus stop, I need a shower, the dog needs to be walked before I leave, the clothes need to be put into the washer, the dishes need to be started, I need to help Butch at the church rewire some lights, it's almost time for Mass, then the prayer group, then I need to work on some homework for class, a meeting tonight for the building and grounds... we gotta get moving I remind them in a voice that's entirely too loud, entirely too angry.

Sarah and Hannah run out the door, their bus is running in less than a minute. Moira points to the basket and says "uh oh, Sarah forgot her project." Another thing in my head, a new object crams it's way into things to do... How am I going to get that to her at school? Someone is blowing their horn in the driveway, and I call back (by call I mean yell irritatingly that someone has invaded my introverted space again) 'Your ride is here!' This is followed by a slowly shuffling teenager who takes her time and calls out as if they can hear through the closed door 'I'm coming.' I begin to get irritated and mention that she should hurry, which is followed by a 'I am' as the shuffling sloth like creature begins to put on her shoes.

It all begins to bubble over as she has left and I look to see where Moira is.. and she's in the bathroom. So I knock and remind, we gotta go your bus is going to run. Followed by another 3 knocks in what seems like 10 minutes of time.. when actually it was probably about 10 seconds apart. Finally she opens the door and I notice in horror she doesn't even have her shoes on, her hairs not brushed, and I have less than a minute for the bus to run. I tell her "MOVE!" and she does, she runs into the living room, dancing around in all four cardinal directions as if she was a compass out of control, trying to find her shoes. Dear God help me, she doesn't even know where they are! So we frantically look, and my phone rings. My wife is on the other end reminding me that 'Sarah needs her project for school she left it.' I snap at her, she doesn't deserve that. I hear the air break release on the bus.. we missed it.

Ah, how wonderful a day eh? You may think I'm complaining, and maybe in a way I am. Actually, this morning was beautiful. I didn't realize that when I woke up. When my toe was throbbing I was angry. When my kids weren't moving fast enough, I was irritated to no end.   When my phone rang and sang 'Oh Happy Day' to me, I was angry that it interrupted my space. When the horn beeped in the driveway I was irritated for the occupants in the vehicle who kept beeping every few seconds to remind someone they were here. How do we miss all the things in there that are from God? As I was 'stomping' my way on foot to take Moira to school, a small wind blew through my mind and God reminded me in that still small voice "It's not about YOU."

Dumbfounded. That's the word I would describe me as I stopped mid track.   As I stood there on the sidewalk and Moira caught up to me and I realized I had made my day all about me. I apologized to her for being frazzled and we walked together and she began to talk to me. She began to point out this house or that, this flower or that, this bus and where it was going, etc. I realized she hadn't been talking.. how could she? We were walking at the fastest pace my broken body can handle, and I wasn't really giving her a chance to see anything.

I took her to school, and we got there before the bell rang and I began to walk on towards the other school to drop off the project. At this point I'm not in a hurry anymore. A friend stops and asks if I need a ride, my mind for a second says 'you can still make it to mass, you can make it to work on the lights, forget the project, get in and go!'  I realize quickly that in doing that my friend who is lector for daily mass today would miss it if she gave me a ride. Thanks, but I'm gonna be a while I say, and tell her to go on. It's not about me.  It's now about God.  I need to spend more time listening. So I walk on.

So I open my eyes around me. The barking dogs yapping at me, the squirrels and their nuts, the trees and their blossoms and fading flowers, the elderly gentleman walking his pup, the birds in the trees, and the wind in the leaves. I walk on and back home, all the while thinking what a blessing I had this morning. The bible warns us in sacred scripture that our tongue has the power to curse and bless, and it should only be blessing. Jesus also reminds us that what comes out of our heart is what makes a man unclean. With that in mind, our thoughts can be a blessing and a curse too, they can take a moment in which we can see the finger prints of God... and instead we see only the dust. (Think of a CSI show, how they dust the surfaces to find finger prints.. our lives are dust... but if we look at where the ashes fall, we can find the finger prints of God on the surface.)

Curse: I woke up this morning to a blaring alarm clock.
Blessing: I woke up.

Curse: No one is up yet.
Blessing: Everyone was soundly asleep and resting.

Curse: having to get clean clothes from downstairs
Blessing: we have clothes.

Curse: Moira doesn't have her shoes on.
Blessing: We get to walk together and chat this morning.

Curse: Sarah forgot her project.
Blessing: I get to serve my family by living my vocation, I can take it to her.

Curse: the phone rings interrupting me
Blessing: the phone serenades me with 'Oh Happy Day' followed by the melodic beauty of my wife's voice.


We forget that everyday life sanctifies us. Living our vocation, our calling, can be the most holy thing we can do.. if we allow it to be such. We parents are called to serve. We often think of service as only when we go to church to wire a light, clean a floor, or lector at the Ambo. But service includes those at home as well. We often treat them worse than we would a complete stranger. We are hypocrites. Everyone of us. But we can do better. We can do it one day at a time. One blessing at a time. One walk at a time.

In Christ,
Brian

Where am I now?

During the process of my conversion, I was uninterested in the Catholic faith. Coming from the particular protestant background that I was raised in, the Catholic faith was not only foreign, but looked down upon if not looked at with outright contempt. My wife and I had married with the understanding that we were of different faiths, but after a while I began to seek to convert her to my own protestant stance. I was convinced that the Catholic faith was wrong and I set out to prove that to her.  As time went by I would approach her with more and more questions, I guess more accurately described as confrontations. “Why do you believe this?” “Why do you Catholics do that!?” To which she would always reply, “find out.”  She refused to argue with me, which of course infuriated me!

At this point I was really fooling myself, because my heart was not really into finding answers. I would do some reading of course online, mostly from protestant and Anti-Catholic websites to try and find answers.  Then a major event happened in our lives: the baptism of our biological daughter, Moira.  As the time drew closer, my wife informed me that we were baptizing our daughter Catholic. We really didn't discuss it further other than when, where, which priest would baptize her, etc.  As a protestant I didn't really care what religion she was baptized into, as long as she was baptized.

As the day finally arrived I stood with every person in the congregation of the church at St. Mary's in Sycamore Illinois.  The priest walked us through the process, renewing our baptismal promises and then asked us if we would raise our daughter according to the Catholic faith. I responded in the affirmative and as I did, it dawned on me that in order to teach her what the Catholics believed I would have to know myself!   I could no longer simply dance around the issue, I had to actually delve into this so that I could teach her as I had just given my word before God and man that I would do so.

I began to search earnestly for answers, not just reading the protestant side of things but going to Catholic sites, speaking to Catholic apologists online, and even spending a great deal of time talking to the priest at our home Parish in Genoa.  I had many questions and someone eventually suggested that I join the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults program at our parish.  I was ensured there would be no commitment required and I could go there and find answers to all of these questions that I had.  I signed up and began to attend, but I must admit that this first trip through RCIA was one filled with a bad attitude and hostility.   I wanted answers, but not for the right reason. I came to class to argue, or to find ways to prove to my wife and eventually my daughter that the Catholic faith was wrong.

The sweet lady who taught the class would look at me sometimes and simply say, “It's part of the mystery.” Then she'd move on to another topic or further into the topic we were discussing.  This made me so angry at the time. I had been taught my entire life that there is no mystery! Every answer you want or need was supposed to be right there in the Bible.  I eventually quit going to RCIA and simply studied on my own, convinced that the teacher simply didn't know enough about scripture to be able to answer me.  I was so convinced that I had already known God and his Word that I knew there was no mystery to him.

As time went on I found answers to many of my questions. An astonishing thing happened along the way, I began to find that every single time I found the answer I was looking for, I found a new question. Another astonishing thing happened as well, I began to find answers that weren't in scripture, but were in writings from the early church fathers, documents from the Church itself, even in just talking to other members of the Catholic faith. My beliefs about God were not really changing, but my understanding of God was growing in a way that began to show me that not only did my beliefs fit in with the Catholic faith, but that the faith was so deep that it really was a mystery, because God himself was beyond our understanding. The word that had so exasperated me in the beginning, became a word that I embraced and clung to as I again enrolled in the RCIA program.  This time not to argue or look for ways to convince others of how wrong the Catholic faith was, but to help me understand just how right it was.  Not just for them, not just for my daughter, but for me.

The amazing thing that I am finding is that despite all of this journey that I have been on for many years, from the days when I sat beside my grandfather in the pews of a Baptist church, to the day when I went forward and confessed my love for God at an altar call, through the days of my baptism, prayer services, and eventually my confirmation in the Catholic faith; I never noticed the pattern of repeating that was going on in my life. Even when I began to read this wonderful document about the six stages of development my mind wanted to compartmentalize it into single stages, as if we could graduate from one into another.

Throughout life we have been taught that each event is a stage to move to another, and that eventually we will get where we are going. Working a job leads to a promotion, after which you no longer have to do the things before.  My approach to this document was very similar in that in attempting to analyze where I am in those stages, I quickly began to quantify if I had moved through one stage to the next.  I checked off my list through imagination, quickly moving past literal, to group faith, into personal, and hoping that I might actually be able to write myself down as someone who had gotten to the mystical stage.

As we discussed this in our small groups, many of the others did the same with their analysis of themselves.  We each found ourselves hovering between stage 4, Personal Faith, and stage 5, Mystical faith. In fact, I felt a little ashamed as if I was failing because I could see that I didn't stay in the Mystical area.  I saw parts of my life where I felt I had achieved that for a time, where I had acted in those ways, even from time to time I could honestly say I had achieved the Sacrificial faith that I so desire to have at all times.  Yet, when I was honest with myself; I wasn't there all the time. I felt as if I was failing God and even was concerned about coming to class, that maybe I was the only one who wasn't able to stay in 'the zone'.

Then we began to discuss it at length and the light began to dawn on each of us, more especially when our teacher began to talk about the cyclical nature of faith, that we were walking along that normal path. My eyes began to open to a new understanding of the imaginative faith. Where as before I saw it as something that only children do, even having clever anecdotes prepared in my head of how my nephew talked about God's mom, aka Mrs. God,  or how that my daughter had once thought that God put on a costume so he could look like a ghost; to where I now see that we each have to reach the stage of imagination in order to move forward and learn. That once we grasp on to a concept, some part of the mystery, we must begin to delve it in our mind before we can begin to ask questions. We must imagine what God is like, because he is beyond us. That once we reach a point where we have begun to even glimpse the mystical aspect of the truth that is being revealed to us, another question appears.  We then begin to use our imagination again to try to fathom this new truth, and the cycle begins anew.

How relieving it was to find that simple eye opening truth, that all of this time that I had been seeking answers and only finding more questions, that I had been truly following the nature of revelation and faith. God was calling, and I was responding. I wasn't failing, but I was growing in faith. I still hope that some day, I can be in the stage of sacrificial faith at all times; until then I will be content in knowing that I can glimpse those moments without trepidation but simply realizing that when I do have a moment of pure sacrificial giving, a moment in which I am no longer concerned with my self at all but only with 'other', that in that moment, I will have opened another stage of the mystery.  That in opening another stage of the mystery I will have drawn that much closer to God.

Listening...

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger

The book of James is quick to remind us that part of our Christian duty is to listen to another.  It's strange though to think that the average thought of what it means to listen, is not to hear what they have to say.. but to quickly find out their problem, and fix it.

We so often sit hearing another person without actually listening to them. Our mind is often filled with our own preoccupation of what it is that they are speaking about and we wait with some sort of anticipation to interject what we agree with or what we disagree with, or even to say 'here is the answer' to their dilemma.  I was reading a very interesting book and in it there was this astounding thought to me, when my listening becomes a point where I am going to interject something of my own experience, to tell them here is what I agree with of what you said.. or here is what I disagree with.. we have made it no longer about them, but about me.

How much more powerful and resulting would a conversation be if we spent that time actually listening, putting ourselves in their shoes, and attempting to understand fully what they are conveying?  Not simply looking for where they are wrong, or where we are right, or trying to scientifically categorize an answer to their problem;  but simply listening and making sure they know we are listening.  Not systematically dissecting the situation with questions, but simply commenting on their feelings "You were feeling quite betrayed by their actions.  That makes it very hard to trust them again."   Is much more about them than "I'd never talk to them again!" which as become about you.

So do we have it in us? To listen? Not just to hear, but to listen.. unconditionally?  Or are we stuck as a society that is about the I, and not the you?

Where are you? More importantly.. where am I?

So what stage or degree of faith should you or I have? Should we seek the "highest" stage? Should we all hope to reach the point of a totally sacrificial faith? No doubt, we all tend to see that as an ideal. But dare anyone tell you where you should be at a given stage of your faith journey? To insist that you reach complete maturity now is like grabbing a budding flower by the stem and trying to yank it upward into full bloom. Such an effort would be violent and destructive. And it ignores the truth that there is a season for everything.

I've been reading some of my home work tonight as we relax and get ready for bed for an upcoming class in Ministry Formation. The article, How God Invites us to Grow, talks about 6 different stages of faith. I'll attempt to paraphrase those below here.

Stage 1: Imaginative Faith

This is where faith starts, as a young child we often have fancy notions of God being the old grandfather up in the cloud. Flying around the world like Santa Clause. Showering down gifts from on high, bowling in the clouds to make thunder, etc.

Stage 2: Literal Faith

This is where many of us get to and get stuck, or even consider to be all there is to faith. It's where we take all the stories as literal history stories and we never get to the moral foundation of them.. the story of love behind them. It is where we stick to what we know, literal stories, and almost avoid any other truth that can come from them. We see the story of Adam and Eve not as a story that teaches us moral value, but of a God who punishes evil and good, who doles out good and evil, almost a karmic God.

Stage 3: Group faith

This is where we do what we do, not because of any reason other than that's how we've always done it. My grandfather used to grab our heads and push them down during prayer, because that's how we prayed. To this day, I still bow my head during prayer... because that's how we did it. Many of those who start in one faith and live it their entire life, often never find out why they do something.. they just continue to do it. I remember a story about an a family where the daughter always cut the end off the ham... she had no idea why, so one day at Christmas she called home and said Mom why do you cut the end off the ham? Expecting an answer that it kept it moister, or did something with juices, her mother said I dunno, mom always did. So they get together and go see the grandmother.. who opens the oven and says, cause I have a little oven and if I don't cut the end off it won't fit in there.

Stage 4: Personal faith

Responsibility. At this stage we look up what we do.. we find out why.. we live our faith not because someone else told us too but because we understand why we bow, why we kneel, why we genuflect.. not only understand, but agree and do it out of our own choice.. our own faith. Owning your faith. Not being Catholic because your family was and you just always have been.. but realizing what being Catholic is.. and living it because it's right.

Stage 5: Mystical faith

Lots of people give this one a bad name. Mystical faith just means you've gone into communion with God. You're beyond just realizing that God lives in you.. but KNOWING he does. It's having an intimate relationship where you not only realize that, but that he lives in others. You then being to see them as brothers and sisters, regardless of faith, regardless of if they agree with you. It's going above just self and God.. and being beyond yourself.. which of course leads to

Stage 6: Sacrificial faith.

We know this is the ideal.. the faith where we give ourselves away. Where we no longer are concerned with status, personal gain, or even our own safety.. all we are worried about is doing the will of God. He has become our all in all, and as such serving his family has become greater than ourselves. Giving up our selves to serve Him and by it everyone else. As the Article says “One's commitment to the values of truth, justice, and love become all consuming.”

I spent about an hour talking with my wife after reading this article. We were discussing.. where are we? I know where I want to be.. I want to be there at that Sacrificial level... but I don't know that I am. I'd like to say that I'm on some levels getting towards a mystical faith.... some of the lines really spoke to me. “For most people this awareness of God's inner presence begins with a longing or a compelling desire to be one's whole self or to live one's life as meaningfully as possible.” That resonates with me on so many levels. As does the statement: "Recognition of the sisterhood and brotherhood of all people also intensifies one's commitment to the well-being of all humankind.” Am I there? I am not sure. Is my ego wanting me to be more than I am? Possibly.

I do know I am beyond group faith. I no longer follow any faith, without understanding why. I do not tell my kids you will do this because that's what we do! We do this because of this reason, this is what it means, and here is where we can find that information. They also will choose for themselves, to be Catholic or not when the time comes. For now I will teach them as much as I can about our faith.. not just what we do, but why we do it, and where those traditions come from.

So here I am. Discerning. Woefully inadequate, praying that God will lead me on down this path and turn me into the man he wants me to be, and not the man that I am. Hoping to be on the highest level, feeling I'm really on the lowest rung. With that I will leave you with the words quoted in the article of Thomas Merton, “When I have found my truest self, I will have found God.”

Lord help me to find my truest self, to become the self that you created me to be, that I may be in full and perfect communion with you.. praying at all times, walking in Your will and not my own.

In Christ,

Brian

Division? Fire? Who is leading your life?

Jesus said to his disciples:

“I have come to set the earth on fire,

and how I wish it were already blazing! 

There is a baptism with which I must be baptized,

and how great is my anguish until it is accomplished! 

Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth? 

No, I tell you, but rather division. 

From now on a household of five will be divided,

three against two and two against three;

a father will be divided against his son

and a son against his father,

a mother against her daughter

and a daughter against her mother,

a mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law

and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.” 

This reading is the reading for today's mass for Catholics all over the world. It's a reminder to us that Jesus message is not an easy one. It divides friends, families, even nations. We see it in our own Christian walks as we meet other Christians, who are divided from us in our beliefs... all of them believing in Jesus, but finding different interpretations from those that their other brothers and sisters hold. As Jesus quoted Micah to his followers, it makes me wonder if they had any inkling of how true this statement was? How the Word expressed himself to mankind, knowing that they would divide because of their own hardness and stubbornness of heart. Something to meditate on today: Is the division I see in my life caused by a rejection of the truth that Jesus is the Messiah, God's only begotten son? Or is the hardness of my own heart the cause of some of those divisions?

It is Finished

These words still echo throughout the world, as Jesus hung on the cross giving his life in love for each one of us, he uttered the words that would change history. "It is finished."  We have so many who take this to mean that they are finished too, that what Jesus did on the cross completed it all for them.. and in a way they are right. There is nothing you or I can do to complete what Jesus did, it's already done. Yet, the work you and I must do is just beginning. When we take up our own cross we are running a race towards the end of our lives, a race that ends with our own death and resurrection.

What did Jesus mean when he said It is finished? So many things can be taken from it. One he meant that mans redemption, the sacrificial liturgy of the Eucharist, the Mass at Calvary, was finished. Two he meant that his work, his life, was complete. He meant that propitiation was complete, that Jesus had died for our sins, and that it was over. He did not mean that you and I had no work left to do. No far from it.

I think one way we can look at it is to examine popular movies in our culture. How often do we see in the movies someone passing away suddenly and unexpectedly, and as the result they become stuck as a ghost who needs to do something to fix their life, or to finish it. I remember a movie with Robert Downey Junior in it, where four ghosts attach to him and each of them must 'finish' their lives.  They run around and of course hilarity ensues, as they begin to right the wrongs that they should have done during their lives. Then we have the ever popular Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze (God rest his soul) in the movie Ghost, where he holds on to her and keeps trying to protect her from the evil that managed to kill him. Only after she is safe and the evil is vanquished is he able to move on to eternal life.

This is the kind of completion that you and I should be looking for. Our faith results in works, that is faith without works is dead.  We are not done.   We have work to do.  You show me your faith without works? and I'll show you my faith BY my works. (St. James paraphrased.) When we die one of two things can be said about us "Look how much he left behind."  or "Look how much he took with him."  If we die without completing our lives, then there is so much left behind we should have said.. should have done.. should have completed..  But if we live every day working for God, every day teaching love, hope and faith... then when we die people will say, look at that man.. he took part of me with him, I will remember him forever.

Have you met someone in your life who had this impact on you? Whose life was so complete at death that you knew they were done? Who lived in such a way that on their death bed their life itself said, "It is finished." in glorious imitation of our Lord Jesus Christ? That is my challenge, to live each day for God in such a way that when I am gone.... I leave behind nothing, but take all of you with me.

Personal Relationship?

There are three camps in Christianity right now that seem to be the most prevalent, and two of them I find to be fatally flawed and separate from the Gospel according to Jesus Christ. Both have their merits, but both are lacking something to be complete.

The first is the camp that our relationship with Jesus is a personal relationship. You often see people say don't judge me, I only answer to God! In a way that's correct, just as David said, I sinned against you and you alone, our concern should be first and foremost with God. That's what Jesus said the most important commandment was right? So in a way our relationship with God is personal, it's primary.. but it's not just. Just said that was the first and greatest commandment, but then he went on to say there was a second, like it. (Another translation says "A second, equally as important" (see Mark 12:28-33). That makes a big difference doesn't it?

Then the second camp, one less common but one the Pharisees themselves seem to have been guilty of, is that it's a community relationship and only a community relationship. These are the people who put the commandments before the people. Their relationship is ONLY religion, only about the community. The Pharisees were very guilty of this, and if you watch the recent 'Bible' television series, you see some of that attitude. The "I need to protect my religion, my people" at all costs mentality.  The man who follows his religion to a T but neglects the needs of his fellow brothers and sisters, this man puts community before person, there is no personal relationship, even among the community.. only the community structure. The white washed tomb that Jesus called them greatly expresses this ideal. They appear clean on the outside, because they do everything right, but on the inside.. it's still dirty, still hate filled. We all seem to fall into that trap from time to time.. but notice that Jesus didn't say for people to ignore the tradition? No.. Then said Jesus to the crowds and to his disciples,  “The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat;  so practice and observe whatever they tell you, but not what they do; for they preach, but do not practice.  They bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with their finger. (Matthew 23:1-4)

So then what are we to do? We see here clearly that Tradition is not bad.. no the Tradition of the Pharisees was beautiful and had many beautiful teachings in it.. but they weren't practicing what they preach. We also see that God is important, the first and foremost.. but so are our brothers and sisters.. So neither of these approaches work. Why? Because they try to separate the body from the head. You see with the first, you take you and try only have communion with the head, Jesus.  With the second, you only have communion with the body as a whole, and not the head at all. Both ignore the other parts of the body and Sacred Scripture clearly tells us that we cannot separate the parts of the body. The eye cannot tell the hand I have no need of you (1 Corinthians 12:21), etc.

So we need all of it. We need the head, the body, and the parts! In order to be in communion with God who is a trinity.. we must also worship in a trinity (you'll find this pattern all through scripture!) We have to be in communion with God, with the body, AND with each other! So that is the simple answer. Tradition is beautiful, but so is love. God is important, but so is your brother and sister. You love God BY loving each other. It's really that simple.

That was one of the first things that drew me to Catholicism, and it's the thing that keeps reminding me that this is home for me. That there is a huge emphasis on God, worshiping him and him alone.  Yet, there is an emphasis on still talking among the body (both here and those already gone to Heaven), in the communion of saints. And yet there is still the personal relationship, how much more personal can it be than to go forward every Sunday and touch Jesus in such a unique way in the Eucharist? It's all there.

And remember, the only person scripture records as saying "Am I my brothers keeper?" was the one who had just killed his brother.

Peace be with you,
Brian

Those Guys Over There!

On the sabbath they entered the synagogue and took their seats.
Many Jews and worshipers who were converts to Judaism
followed Paul and Barnabas, who spoke to them and urged them to remain faithful to the grace of God. 

On the following sabbath almost the whole city gathered 
to hear the word of the Lord. 
When the Jews saw the crowds, they were filled with jealousy 
and with violent abuse contradicted what Paul said. 

Today our priest, Father Don, gave a long talk about this very passage. I want to try and capture what I took away from that homily. The lesson there is one I hadn't really thought about, but as a person who does a lot of apologetics and witnessing on the internet, I find it's one that is so very pertinent to us on Facebook, Twitter, etc.


Notice that when Paul and Barnabas came to the town, they received them well. They were in their comfort zone. Paul and Barnabas were both Jews and they were bringing a message of hope about the Messiah! They accepted the message with open arms. They followed and worshiped with Paul and Barnabas and treated them with respect.


It was only on the next weekend, when they gathered to talk and the entire town gathered, that the Jews became jealous. Notice that the following verses (I've included the entire section below) indicate that it was because of the Gentiles that they were jealous. Not because the message was one they didn't appreciate, but because of inclusion. They were mad because not only was the message for the Jews, but for them! For those other ones over there, the unclean, the sinners, the ones who aren't part of the chosen ones.


How often do we fall into that very trap ourselves? Growing up I was not Catholic, but a baptist. Many of the churches I went to talked very uncharitably about the Catholic church, and well frankly, about any church that wasn't their church. Don't date that girl, her dad is one of those Jehovah's witnesses. Don't go to the boy scouts, they meet in the basement of the Methodist church! Oh you don't want to go to that church, they speak in tongues and fall out in the aisles! Or, don't go over to that church they don't speak in tongues or don't fall out the aisles (both from different people in the same non-denominational church.)  Jesus is white! No Jesus is black! No Jesus is a Jew! He loves everyone, no he hates everyone except this group! It's enough to make your head spin!

It's so easy to say, God's message is for me, for this type of person, for the ones I am comfortable around. But God's message is for everyone! Now will everyone get to heaven? No, I don't think they will, scripture is pretty clear on that. However, Christ owns the Catholic church, the Catholic church does not own Christ. Jesus decides who goes where and who is included, not us. We spend too much time judging and not enough time spreading light. As St. Theresa said, At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by 'I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.' Hungry not only for bread - but hungry for love. Naked not only for clothing - but naked of human dignity and respect. Homeless not only for want of a home of bricks - but homeless because of rejection.



In Christ,

Brian



Acts 13:14, 43-52


Paul and Barnabas continued on from Perga
and reached Antioch in Pisidia.
On the sabbath they entered the synagogue and took their seats.
Many Jews and worshipers who were converts to Judaism
followed Paul and Barnabas, who spoke to them
and urged them to remain faithful to the grace of God.

On the following sabbath almost the whole city gathered
to hear the word of the Lord.
When the Jews saw the crowds, they were filled with jealousy
and with violent abuse contradicted what Paul said.
Both Paul and Barnabas spoke out boldly and said,
“It was necessary that the word of God be spoken to you first,
but since you reject it
and condemn yourselves as unworthy of eternal life,
we now turn to the Gentiles.
For so the Lord has commanded us,
I have made you a light to the Gentiles,
that you may be an instrument of salvation
to the ends of the earth.”

The Gentiles were delighted when they heard this
and glorified the word of the Lord.
All who were destined for eternal life came to believe,
and the word of the Lord continued to spread
through the whole region.
The Jews, however, incited the women of prominence who were worshipers
and the leading men of the city,
stirred up a persecution against Paul and Barnabas,
and expelled them from their territory.
So they shook the dust from their feet in protest against them,
and went to Iconium.
The disciples were filled with joy and the Holy Spirit.

Holy Week

Holy week is always a tremendous time spiritually for me. When we as Catholics go through our ceremonies of reading the gospel together, actively participating in carrying the cross, or even watching as some of our members get their feet washed by our priest; all tend to move me to really think about the Passion of our Lord and Savior. This year has been especially moving, I think because last year was so vibrant and moving that I missed parts of it (being the year I came into the church.)

What struck me as particularly moving, was a moment I haven't spent much time thinking about. As Father Don was preparing to wash the feet of these wonderful people in front of me, he took off his covering (outer robe.) and stood before us in just a stark white linen garment. It dawned one me that I didn't really think about the fact that Father Tim had done the same thing last year. Here they stood before me, just as Jesus was before his Apostles. Jesus had taken his robe off and was wearing a towel around his waist.

My mind began to wonder in awe... What must it have been like, to know that the Son of God was kneeling before you.. stripped of his outer garments? Like a servant. Bowing to wash the dirt and grime of this world, of soil that was foreign to them, soil that many still thought made them unclean. Here was the King of Glory, washing their feet. A menial task. Something meant for the servant, or for the help.

Do we realize the amount of humility it must have taken? For someone fully human, to bow themselves, knowing they had all the glory of Heaven.. but emptying themselves of it to wash a foot?  Then we see our priests, even our pope, kneeling and washing feet, and some of them kissing them in humility, every Easter. How often we criticize them for the smallest of faults! That one is angry! That one is lazy! That one, well he's just waiting for retirement.... But today.. regardless of faults.. they knelt and washed feet.

Have you allowed Jesus to wash your feet? Think about what that means. As he told Saint Peter, "If I do not wash  you, you have no part of me." Think long and hard on this next passage, it's powerful to think of during this time of reflection as we approach Easter Sunday.

When he had washed their feet, and taken his garments, and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord; and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.  For I have given you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you.  Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him.  If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.

As the service finished  and Father Don walked to the front and began to put his robes back on I thought, someone should help him.. he has done so much for us today, kneeling through his pain, walking with visible pain up the steps to get to his robe.. Do we realize what he has done for us? He has reminded us of Christ... how much more powerful a gift can he give?

In Christ,
Brian

The Eyes of a Child

The other day I was attacked by a ninja in my own home. I'm pretty sure that Dustin Gurntz had something to do with it, because I've  been told he's definitely the ninja. I had left the house to get our youngest off the bus and in the interim our other daughter devised an ambush. She gathered a large sloppy snow ball, and hid inside the house with it. As we walked in I began to take off my coat and smoosh.. upside the head with a big, cold wetness. I glared... I laughed... I giggled... then I warned.  "When you least expect it, I'll get you back."

For a few days she flinched when I'd walk past her waiting for the snow ball, or the tickled attack. I never gave it to her, I simply waited. Then tonight, she fell asleep on the couch.  You all know where this is going right? I did what my father would have done, what all of us men for generations do, I got a big bucket, filled it with snow and dumped it on her in her sleep.

It was priceless! For about 20 seconds.. till I heard a earthshaking, crying scream. It was coming from to her left, it wasn't even her crying. She was shaken of course, but she wasn't as torn and demolished as the young 6 year old girl standing next to her who informed me it wasn't funny for me to make Sarah cry. My daughter, my youngest child, stared at me tears streaming down her face.. looking at me as if I were a stranger.  My world was shattered. I had scared her. She trusted me to always do good, and here I was... being probably the worst example my children could have.

Later I apologized to Sarah for dumping the snow on her and made her a promise. I would never, ever do it again. Haley laughed and said but he didn't promise either of us!  I agreed, and we all went towards the car to go get some food. Moira asked me to stay inside with her while she switched to her boots and that's when it happened. That's when God spoke through my little girl to me, with eyes looking at me with wisdom beyond their years, she informed me of my error.

"Daddy, you know you promised Sarah you would never do it again. That means you promised all of us. God is inside each of us, and you promised God that you would never, ever do it again." How many times have I sat in a room with a prayer group and reminded them to try and see God in each person they meet? Yet until this morning it had never dawned on me that when I promise someone.. I'm not just making a promise to them, but to God.. and thereby to every person made in God's image as well. Goodness doesn't just stop with the individual.. it's a communion... a community.  Did Jesus have this in mind when he said make your yes, yes and your no, no?

She looked at me with those piercing eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Then she looked down at her shoes, and when she looked back up it was happy go lucky Moira, as she danced out there in her snow boots informing me, "And I'm glad that God made feet!"

In that small moment, that instance I was taught something that Jesus told us 2000 years ago, but a lesson we learn again and again.

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"  And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them,  and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.  "Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me;  but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin,  it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. 

Mathew 18:1-6

..

How often we allow our studies to make us feel important and powerful.   We study theology, we study the bible, we study psychology and sociology.   We then think we have figured out God... but simple truths, they are seen by 6 year old's when a bucket of snow is dropped on their sister... a 6 year old who reminds us that it's not funny... In a society where our television shows ask us to tease one another and play jokes on each other... she reminds me that I am to be good always.   That when I sin against one of these... I am sinning against God himself.

It brings a whole new meaning to that simple phrase that David penned in his anguish, many years before the birth of Jesus, doesn't it?

Have mercy on me, O God, according to thy steadfast love; according to thy abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.  Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!  For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done that which is evil in thy sight, so that thou art justified in thy sentence and blameless in thy judgment. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.  Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.  Fill me with joy and gladness; let the bones which thou hast broken rejoice.  Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right* spirit within me.  Cast me not away from thy presence, and take not thy holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of thy salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.  Then I will teach transgressors thy ways, and sinners will return to thee.  Deliver me from bloodguiltiness,  O God, thou God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of thy deliverance.  O Lord, open thou my lips, and my mouth shall show forth thy praise. 

Psalm 51:1-15

The Least of These

President Obama famously declared in a speech a while back that whatever we are, we are no longer a Christian nation.  I would like to believe that isn't true.  The numbers say that we are mostly Christians in our population. The increase in secular thought, belief, and liberalism would say differently. Even our conservatism is much more liberal than it was in years past. That's not the point I want to talk about.

Included the presidents exact words, so that others

could see exactly what he said in context. 

Lately I've been seeing a lot of posts decrying our government from spending money elsewhere, when it is needed at home. How dare we send relief to some other country when our country has some problems of its own? Why spend money educating children in Africa when we could be increasing our own public schools.  Why subsidize third world countries when we are hurting here and need jobs? These are all powerful questions, questions that can't be answered lightly or in few words.

But there is a key here... if we ARE a Chrisitian nation.. then we truly believe that all people deserve help. "Whatever you do for the least of these you do for me."  If we are a Christian nation then our neighbor is not just the homeless man here, but the homeless man in South Africa as well. If we are a Christian nation, then the child who needs school supplies in  China is just as important as the one who needs school supplies here in our home town. If we are a Christian nation, then every man needs our help.. not one or the other.

Am I saying that we should help those abroad before we help those at home? No. What then am I saying, that we should help those who are here before we help those abroad? No. I am saying IF we are a Christian nation, we should help both!  

If President Obama is right, that we are no longer a Christian nation then none of this matters. We should only be concerned with our own national issues, and not worry about the world.. but if he is wrong... if we are still a Christian nation... then we should be concerned with all of humanity, and yes all of creation as well. We don't have room in a Christian mindset to say I will ignore the plight of someone I cannot see, and only concentrate on those I know personally... we cannot say stop taking care of those in need because we have needs here... instead we must realize that we all have a little to give, and a lot of places to give it.

Stewardship

Just wanted to share with you the speech that I prepared for this weekend and had the honor of delivering at our parish. God really helped me through it and I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would :)

When Father Don asked me if I would be interested in saying a few words about Stewardship at the weekend masses, I was very excited! Perhaps a bit scared and nervous too. It such and important topic in the Catholic life, one that I am very passionate about. Most of the time when we hear the word Stewardship our minds immediately go to tithing and money. Don't get me wrong, that is an extremely necessary part of the Christian life. Without funding the church itself could not continue to lead the world in charitable works, missions, and ministries.  Hospitals, schools, soup kitchens, and homes could not continue to work without that money.

But stewardship does not end there at all. Stewardship involves realizing that everything we have comes from and belongs to God. As our responsorial Psalm today says, “Behold God is my helper, the Lord sustains my life.”  It is so very easy in our materialistic society to get caught up in the daily life of earning things. “He works hard for the money” has become a mantra and it has allowed us to lose sight of the simple fact that those skills, talents, and even our lives themselves are gifts from God. We do often work hard to earn what we have, and that's good. Yet we must remember where we get the ability to work, the ability to breath, the ability to earn that gift and that the gift itself still belongs to the one who created all that we are and have.

How often do we ponder that the home we have, the car we drive, even the dishes we use for our meals are all gifts from above? Do we treat them as such? I know that when I borrow a car that belongs to someone else, I often take better care of it than I do my own. When I spend the night at someone else's home I take care not to throw my clothes on the bathroom floor, and usually make the bed in the morning, something I fail to do at my own home nearly every day. If we truly believe then that every thing we have, everything we use belongs to God, why then do we treat them as our own personal things?

When I was a  young man fresh out of high school I had the privilege of joining a fraternity. Being a member of that organization helped to shape my view of what stewardship is all about. As a young member interested in moving up through the ranks of officers I was installed as a Steward. It was an interesting position and essentially it meant that I got all the grunt work. Here I was the youngest member, and I got to clean the toilets, change the lights, and make sure the air conditioner was on before meetings. I wasn't allowed to just do anything I wanted. It wasn't my building. It belonged to the entire organization. Rather, it was my job to make sure that when members showed up, the building was in an acceptable state of repair. It was my job to take care of what had been given to us, to make sure that it was there when the 'owner's returned.

Now so far I've been talking about 'things'.  I'm not a wealthy man and in 2007 I had my spine fused. This has led my family and I into a much lower income bracket than we were used to. We are by no means rich, and we don't have a lot of 'things' to give. What we do have though, especially myself, is time. We also have talent to give, as does every person in this room. God has created each one of us as unique individuals.  Only you can do what you do, the way that you do it. There are likely many people in this room who can paint a wall, but there are some in here who really know what they are doing. There are others in this room who can sew together a blanket if they had to, but then there are some who can make beautiful quilts like the ones for our centennial. There are those who can speak well, and those who wouldn't want to be up here talking for any amount of time at all.

You see God wants us to take care of our time and our talents as well. When we truly search our hearts we all have a little time here or there to give. It may not be much. It may only be a few minutes on a Saturday morning. Or 10-20 minutes on a Thursday afternoon as your coming home from work. If we analyze our lives, especially when I analyze mine, I find that there are many moments in which I'm sitting watching television or looking at Facebook on the computer. I agree there is a time for relaxation, we all need to wind down after a long day of work, or a stressful day of raising the children, or even just recover from an illness or deal with some sort of cross that we are bearing. If we earnestly look at our lives though, we find there is a great deal of time in our life that we could be doing something for each other.

Here at Saint Catherine's we are blessed with a great deal of councils, committees, and groups that help out. One thing you find though is if you begin to look through the list of names on those committees you begin to find that many of them are the same names over and over. We need each and every one of your talents. There are things only you can do, that I cannot. Each of you has a singular unique individuality that you bring to the table that no one else can bring. God wants you to use that in your life, to help build his Kingdom here, to help keep it present and to help others come to know it.

I'd like to talk just briefly about a few of the ministries that I've been involved with. First and foremost, one of the most important ministries to me is the RCIA. It is through the RCIA that we as Catholics reach out to those who are not, and we offer them the beauty of the faith, the beauty of the Eucharist that we come to receive every chance we can. The source and summit of our faith, when Jesus Christ himself becomes present and allows you to receive him into your body, into your soul, and allow him to change you and bring you to eternal life. There are so many out there who are calling out for that chance to receive Jesus Christ, a chance to fill that emptiness with the only thing that can truly fill it up. So many out there are trying to fill it with something else, with television, with games, with entertainment, chemicals and substances. We need people to step forward and help find candidates. To reach out to those they know that are interested, or even to simply mention to those you think need it. We also need people to step forward and say, you know.. I'd be interested in helping out with this. This is dear to my heart and I want to help.

I have also had the wonderful opportunity to be on our evangelization team, which offers those wonderful programs like Awakening Faith, Living the Eucharist, and soon to come Seeking Christ. It is through these that we help each other grow, to learn more about our faith, and to learn more about one another. We are a community of believers, not just a personal relationship. We are a family and through this we can continue to grow as one. These programs need leaders who are interested in helping small groups get through the program. We also need members who are willing to come to the sessions.

During the summers I tend to come to daily mass a lot. This is an important part of our lives. Being able to receive Jesus daily is such a powerful reminder of how free the grace of God is, and how important it is for us to make an effort to come forward and make a commitment to him. During this time I've been allowed to be one of the daily lector's. I cannot tell you in words how powerful it is to come forward and be a part of that service. To stand up here and read to my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ from the very word of God. How powerful a moment it is for the Lector when he says the 'Word of the Lord', and everyone responds thanks be to God. For us to realize that God has just spoken to us through the scriptures, and through the mouth of one of our own.

Last year I began to help out teaching our 8th graders in the per-confirmation class. Here is an opportunity for someone to make a difference in the life of our children, and at the same time to help develop their own faith. While teaching you help share that faith with our youth and often I find myself learning things that I myself did not know, and getting fresh perspectives on our faith from children who see things in such an amazing way that we adults often miss. It doesn't take a great deal of skills or talents to help out, it just takes someone willing to try. We need teachers and we need aides. As the popular song says, “I believe the children are the future, teach them well and let them lead the way.” We need our children to understand our faith, to grow in it, to help continue the life of the church.

I've also had the privilege of being a part of the respect life committee and I must say it's been one of the most rewarding ones to me personally. Being able to help out with our youth, knowing that the work we are doing is making a difference, and seeing the fruit of those labors in action is something that truly touches the soul. The various events that I've been able to attend and places I've been able to visit have reminded me just how much work we have to do. A few months ago Linda Dolder and I had the chance to visit our state capital and spend the day as lobbyist. It gave us a valuable look at our political process and how we can make a difference. We also visited the We Care pregnancy center, delivering some much needed supplies that will be given out to parents who are in need of them. This ministry allows us to spread the message that all life is sacred, and that is a message that our society is very much in need of hearing.

In Christ,
His servant and yours;
Brian

Seeds? Words? Gardens?

Bear with me as I try to convey to you something that I do not know if I can put into words. Today as I was reading Sacred Scripture, a line of thought began to form in my mind. It begins with the concept of the logos, the Christ, the messiah. Jesus is the Word of God. That is something that almost all Christians agree on. It's also key in understanding the power of the tongue. First I want to talk about what the logos means to us, and what that means about Jesus.

We as Christians believe that when God spoke before time ever began, that the Word he spoke was Jesus himself. That the word that came out of his mouth, the word through which all things were created, was Christ. First off we see that when God speaks, he speaks a Word, and that Word is the messiah. It shows us how powerful that word is. All of creation, the universe, people, soul, spirit... all were created by a Word.

Next we see the concept that the Word is a seed. Jesus talked many times about the Word of God being a seed which is planted in the heart, in the garden of the World, which grows or not according to the condition of the soil. Here we see that the Word spoken by God has the power to multiply and grow, to create and uplift. The power of life and death, the power of all of God's creation is in a Word. The Word IS a seed.

Then I began to ponder the fact that we are made in the image of God. Being made in the image of God means that we should be aware that we also have power, spiritual power given to us by God's Holy Spirit. That means that when we speak, we also speak words. Now that seems very obvious on the surface. But let's look at what we said above, not only do the words we speak have power.. but they are seeds. When we speak we sow spiritual seeds in the garden of life. We have the power to plant spiritual food, or to grow weeds.

What does that mean for us? When we edify and uplift, when we build up and encourage... we are planting spiritual food, we are giving spiritual fruit... we are planting seeds of God's Kingdom. We are sharing the Word, through our word. We are spreading the Kingdom of God one seed at a time. At the same time, when we speak words that tear down or demean, words that harm and destroy, we plant weeds that choke and destroy the fruit we have planted. You see Jesus told us that the soil is very important to the growth of the seed. Did you know that God put man in charge of tilling and caring for the soil? Adam was given the job of protecting the garden of Eden, and we as descendents of Adam also have a duty to protect, till, and prepare the garden of our Spiritual world.. the Kingdom of God.

Are you building up God's kingdom? Are you spreading it one word at a time? Or are you planting weeds in your relationships? In your marriage? Is your home a garden of lovely flowers, tantalizing fruits, and gorgeous flowing rivers of kindness? Or is it filled with briars, burning sands, and empty river beds in decay?

His servant and yours;



Brian